THE MATRIX Posted October 20, 2011 #1 Share Posted October 20, 2011 My link A man from Northern Ireland has been jailed after an experiment in which he attempted to turn his own faeces into gold went wrong and started a fire in a block of flats.Paul Moran will now serve three months in jail and a further 12 months on license after the failed experiment caused a fire at his Housing Executive home in Derrin Park, Enniskillen. Moran admitted arson and endangering the lives of others in the fire, which reportedly caused over £3,000 worth of damage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedSquirrel Posted October 20, 2011 #2 Share Posted October 20, 2011 That is some serious s***! Honestly, how would one even start turning digested food into gold? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Waters Posted October 20, 2011 #3 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Taken from the article - Moran’s barrister mentioned that his client was a man of ‘considerable intellectual ability’ but that he had problems battling drug abuse. No kidding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatRobGuy Posted October 20, 2011 #4 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Maybe he shouldn't have had that spicy food after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rashore Posted October 20, 2011 #5 Share Posted October 20, 2011 (edited) Not too shocked about this. There was a thread recently here about a process like this. Sorry, but for the life of me I can't remember where it was. Anywho, there's a new alchemy writing out that describes how to make a philosophers stone of sorts using a process like this. Boil a large amount of urine for a year or so, then take the resulting powder, and boil again for a long time, using a few hundred dollars worth of powdered pure silver. Take that mess and boil again for a long time, using a couple thousand dollars worth of powdered pure gold. Not sure why the guy used fecal matter instead of urine though. Maybe he thought it would be a shortcut or something. Personally, I have a lot of respect for old alchemy because it's where our modern chemistry comes from. However, this whole new age alchemy stuff is pretty nutters to me to a great extent. Edited October 20, 2011 by rashore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
undertheflow Posted October 21, 2011 #6 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I've been trying to eat candy and poop diamonds. At least I've been halfway successful so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:PsYKoTiC:BeHAvIoR: Posted October 21, 2011 #7 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Taken from the article - Moran’s barrister mentioned that his client was a man of ‘considerable intellectual ability’ but that he had problems battling drug abuse. No kidding! And there's that fine line between genius and insane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky7 Posted October 21, 2011 #8 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Is this for real? There must be a typo in the name - Moron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfrmboy Posted October 21, 2011 #9 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Human waste ! That's where he went wrong. Everyone knows you haft to use cat turds collected from the ground under a full moon at midnight on the 13th. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbefumo Posted October 21, 2011 #10 Share Posted October 21, 2011 This is the result when creationists turn their had to science . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verneph Posted October 21, 2011 #11 Share Posted October 21, 2011 This is the result when creationists turn their had to science . . . I'm sorry? I wasn't aware that Creationism had anything to do with this story. I'd debate you on how imbecilic it is to assume that all Creationist are incapable of understanding science, but this isn't exactly the forum for that topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cryptozological Mascot Posted October 21, 2011 #12 Share Posted October 21, 2011 wow... I believe in God and can't understand how science works. What is this strange device my eyes behold and my fingers are tapping on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WoIverine Posted October 21, 2011 #13 Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) OMG, the article's comments...I about died laughing. So funny. "apparently he tried twice before this was his turd attempt" "simon cowells been doing it for years" "Gordon Brown managed the reverse process." "He was quoted as saying "although I failed on this occasion I will not be de-turd from trying again" "did anyone suffer turd-degree burns?" HAHAHA! Edited October 21, 2011 by Spid3rCyd3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anotheryahoo Posted October 21, 2011 #14 Share Posted October 21, 2011 And so are the reasons that ET wants nothing to do with us except for an occasional anal probe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedSquirrel Posted October 21, 2011 #15 Share Posted October 21, 2011 And so are the reasons that ET wants nothing to do with us except for an occasional anal probe. Are they looking for gold? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Fluffs Posted October 21, 2011 #16 Share Posted October 21, 2011 *Face palm* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul the walrus Posted October 21, 2011 #17 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Moral of the Story: There is no golden/silver lining when you burn turds inside your house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonardo Posted October 21, 2011 #18 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.... Well, you know what they say... ...there is no stool like a gold stool. BA..DUM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ripperking Posted October 21, 2011 #19 Share Posted October 21, 2011 antimony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cryptozological Mascot Posted October 21, 2011 #20 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I' ve heard of people thinking thier poo smells like roses, but this is something else.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farmerboy Posted October 21, 2011 #21 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Lord, is it any wonder alot of people think Fermanagh is the Hillbilly county in Northern Ireland...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAmbag Posted October 22, 2011 #22 Share Posted October 22, 2011 I'm just wondering if gold is in turd-shape, does it lose value? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aus Der Box Skeptisch Posted October 22, 2011 #23 Share Posted October 22, 2011 That why people ask are you digging for gold when caught scratching your posterior .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfishyeah Posted October 22, 2011 #24 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Equevilent exchange. To make something, you have to have the correct ingreients to give in exchange to make it. Alchemy is like cooking. just less successful and more complicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylight1 Posted October 23, 2011 #25 Share Posted October 23, 2011 This is the hardest I've laughed in a very long time Just how high would you have to be just to DO something like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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