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Top Ten Drug Using Cartoon Suspects


emmy
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10. Gargamel (From the Smurfs)

Most likely LSD. Spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys

in sissy white outfits and mentally abusing his cat. What does

he plan to do with the blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?

9. Olive Oyl

Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that

skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she is always giving her

burger to her friend. One side question, what the hell are Popeye

and Brutus thinking? What is it, her personality? NOT!

8. Snagglepuss

Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the look, but he is

suspicious.

7. He-Man

This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1. "BY THE POWER

OF ANABOL!!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in

his castle, hitting the weights. And on top of that he even

injects the **** in his pet tiger. Can we say "Animal Abuse"?

6.& 5. Yogi and Boo Boo

We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back

to the cave and trip. Another side? -- Are they gay? I mean, take

a look at BooBoo. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

4. Droopy

The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip

him an upper every year or two. The only time I ever saw him

happy is when he sees the picture of the babe. Sort of makes you

wonder.

3. Dopey Dwarf

He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they

are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing

some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are

afloat.

2. Daffy Duck

If he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean. He is so wired

he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak off

all the time. Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Haldol

wouldn't work for him.

1. Shaggy

By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee,

the boy converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing until

you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats

consumed per episode smokes pot, no if, ands, or, buts about it.

And look at the way him and his friends painted that van! Pretty

rad design dude.

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