Uncanny Visions of your own personal utopia?

[Sister Spooky]

Just some background info on me. I was raised Jewish, well forced into it, since it was so impressed upon me I rebelled against it because I have that kind of personality. I don't agree with the teachings, as in, what they believe does not follow my own personal path of belief, however I am never one to say what religion is right or wrong. Anyway, about 5 years ago I converted to Catholicism. I have since lost almost all faith in anything because of a horribly abusive relationship I was in. My father is Catholic and my mother is Jewish so she got to decide how me and my sisters were raised I suppose. In any case, my dad was more of a new age kind of guy when I was a kid, who became more traditional Catholic when I converted and he also decided to join AA. We weren't strict Jewish growing up, very reform, but I did have a bat mitzvah. Anyway, from a young age I was introduced to death when my grandma died then my uncle in a short period of time around the age of four or five. Of course this led my dad to having to explain (mostly to me since I'm the oldest) what death was and what comes after. He is a firm believer of reincarnation, even now that his catholic roots have grown more firm. So from a young age I was tought that reincarnation happens when we die.

When I went through my conversion classes to become catholic, they tried to instill in me the concept of heaven, which is fine if anyone believes it, I personally couldn't accept that. I pretended to because my arguing led to too many problems. As I have grown older and explored more, I have come to have this vision from nowhere about what will happen to me when I die, and it doesn't include heaven or reincarnation. It's a vision of peace, extreme paradise, something that I didn't even have to spend time fantasizing about (as I am a writer and do a lot of brainstorming and fantasizing) it's just something that I basically, inherently know. It was never a dream or anything, in fact I was discussing with a friend of mine our vision of life after death and out popped this beautiful discription of my vision and the image just solidifies and gets more tangible as time goes on. I will try to discribe it to you guys, so you have an idea of what I am talking about.

After death, I find myself in a wonderful, vast field that is completely untouched by pollution. It is overrun with nature, flowers, tall grass, sunshine, hills, and perfect skies where the sun always shines during the day. In this field there is a small cottage. All that it is furnished with are the basics, bed, kitchen, bathroom, and is only one floor. The cottage is white stone and has ivy crawling over its walls. An old wooden door is how to gain entry and the property is surrounded with a small, beautifully kept garden and a stone walkway from the outlining wooden fence to the door. The only real luxury item in the cabin is an oldfashioned typewriter with a never ending stack of fresh paper and an ink ribbon that won't run dry. This is for me, I know, as I will have many things to document and write. Waiting for me at this cottage is a beautiful woman in white. I can't see her face, I never have been able to, I just somehow know she is beautiful and warm and loving, she will be the maternal figure I have always craved and the lover I have always needed. Any food we could want will be provided by nature, every need will be taken care of, and I will be completely at peace. I'll want for nothing, I will be in a paradise unparalleled by anything I currently know.

As skeptical as I am about God at this point, any kind of God, I find it bizarre that I would have such a vision of my afterlife. I just gave a brief discription because I could literally go on for ages discribing what this place will be like for me, I just wanted you guys to get a taste. My point is that this vision came after I lost faith in a loving God. I have never doubted the existence of some sort of afterlife, as I am very convinced that something just has to happen when we die, I am just not sure what at this point. Does anyone else have a specific vision like this? Am I picturing heaven, even if it may just be my own personal version? Am I grasping at straws? Is this wishful thinking? Devine intervention? A coping mechanism for what I find to be a very depressing and disappointing life? Any theories here are welcome.

[Shabd Mystic]

It sounds very similar to a "typical" (there really isn't any "typical" experience but most share very similar attributes) near-death experience. A good site on NDEs is the International Association For Near-Death Studies, and they have a section where many people have shared their own NDE here. Check it out and see if any of it seems familiar.

A lot of the stories also share similarities with many reported experiences by mystics throughout history, but the "higher level" mystics go way beyond the typical near-death experience and what they experience shows that these near-death experiences are just the VERY beginning of what "death" truly is. The only things that can be safely taken from NDEs are that God is 100% love (of a type you can't even comprehend and that cannot be described so the human mind could ever comprehend it), "time" does not exist outside of human existence, everyone experiences a "life review" that not only encompasses every single thing they have ever DONE, but also covers all the thoughts they ever had, and also covers EVERY SINGLE effect their thoughts and actions ever had on ANYONE (even years later), and a few other things. The person who dies not only learns how what they did affected others (good and bad) but they actually feel every emotion they provoked in others.

What the near-death research has shown (and mystical experience confirms) is that each individual mostly "experiences" things they have come to expect, either because of their religious beliefs, or other factors. Most people see a "person" of light, and Christians "assume" it's Jesus while others attach their own beliefs to it. Some even "recall" (or wish to) the "light being" looking like Jesus or saying He was Jesus (or Krishna, etc.). What it indicates is that God provides the immediate afterlife that will be the most comforting to us so that the instant "adjustment" isn't too tough (and mystical "studies" help one understand why that is and what "can" happen after that, depending upon the life we've led).

So, though I went a long way around to get to this point, it sounds very much like you had some sort of "near death" experience (without actually coming close to death) and that the vision was "sent" as a type of message, or strictly as "comfort" (and judging by your last question I would suggest it was a "message of comfort"). I would strongly suggest you read some (many) of those stories as I believe they will be extremely comforting. I don't know how this board is set up, but if there is a way you can privately message me I can send you a wonderful study on NDEs that I'm about to send to various friends, as well as several other things perhaps (I have an electronic library of spiritual books, articles and multimedia that numbers over 10,000 items and NDEs have been my latest area of fascination).

What I cannot do is share any of my own experiences (that goes against the entire aim of mysticism) but I can tell you that I have studied these subjects for a long time and have read, and spoken to, many different people who have attained spiritual heights most can't even begin to imagine, and I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that all these NDEs are very "real" and that when this life ends is merely the beginning. That doesn't mean everything is going to be wonderful once you die (though you have ample opportunity to make sure it will be if you don't blow it) because as the "life review" perfectly illustrates this life you are leading is one of many you have led and will continue to lead, as life is all about "learning" and until we each learn what is required of us, and we are finally able to live the right kind of life, none of us will ever permanently go back to God. (And every religious "book" in history teaches the same thing even though "time and man" have managed to hide or destroy that message.)

If you read enough NDE stories you will slowly start to catch on. Many of the NDE experiencers were atheists or agnostics when it happened, and countless people who belonged to one religion or another before the NDE came away very "spiritual" but no longer believing in their religion (though many were even more committed to their beliefs as many people still need the "comfort" of religious beliefs despite the usual epic spiritual changes NDEs almost always cause).

One of the most fascinating things to me was seeing how NDEs almost always caused profound changes in those who experienced them. It's almost exactly like what mystics universally experience once they have reached the 'spiritual level" that corresponds to the NDE (in fact, when you attain that level you are taught that you have in fact "died" as the soul has "left the body" and it travels to the "higher levels" - as Paul said in the Bible, "I die daily").

NDErs almost always become more loving, much less worldly, their egos die down extensively, they no longer have a fear of death, they become much less materialistic, their attachments to worldly things lessen or vanish. and the few who had attempted suicide no longer have any such ridiculous thoughts (as mystics eventually learn, killing yourself is, in God's eyes, about the worst thing you can do and you will suffer MUCH worse after death than anything you were trying to escape via suicide). That is also what happens to mystics who finally attain the "soul leaves the body" stage. In fact, that study I mentioned earlier talks about that (which thrilled me because as I read it I kept thinking "this sounds just like what happens through mysticism").

I can't say for sure whether what you had was a true mystical "experience," or whether it just happened to be coincidentally similar, but what's important is for you to know and understand that what you experienced is very similar to what you will most likely experience immediately after death. And while that in no way "proves" everything will be wonderful for you after you die (many people experience terrible things - things they've "earned" in their lives - but even "hell" is a temporary experience and is designed to pay you every "farthing" you earned in your life, before you go onto a new life in order to see if you have made any further progress) I hope it helps serve as "proof" that we are all "permanent" beings who have the prospect of eventual permanent existence in a constant state of pure bliss and love (unlike anything you could even imagine).

What matters most is learning how incredibly loving God is, even to those who've earned anything but love, and knowing that, except for the worst cases, life after death is an incredible experience that makes anything you've ever enjoyed here a joke in comparison. The important thing is to learn, and understand, what ALL near-death experiencers (and mystics who've attained at least that level) learn, and that's what I said earlier about God being nothing but 'love" (the "real" God is nothing like the God many religious texts describe as He has no ego and never judges anyone - we are all judged by our actions and we all get an equal and opposite reaction to every thing we've ever done or thought, even if it takes countless lives to "collect"). Near death experiencers get a brief but overpowering introduction to God, and mystics do as well (and the ones who keep up their spiritual pursuits keep getting more and more of God in their everyday lives until they finally reach the ultimate heights and achieve God-realization).

How bad or how wonderful life after death will be for you is completely up to you. You "reap what ye sow." It's all "an eye for an eye." You don't get to spend time in a magical place called heaven because you "believe." That's just religious multi-level marketing. You get only what you've "earned." There is no judgement at all. You are loved immensely, but you are subject to the laws of "the universe" and those laws state that "ye reap what ye sow." Love people and always treat others with kindness (despite what they might do) and you will find nothing but love and kindness when you "leave." Treat others like dirt, always bad-moth people and spread gossip and you won't like the afterlife all that much at all (at least until you've paid for your thoughts and actions).

Take what happened to you as a special message from God and consider your life and how you live it, and decide whether to continue the same way or whether you need to make some changes. Most of all know there is incredible love awaiting you. And PLEASE read some of those NDEs (and either contact me or do some research on the history of NDEs). That will make a HUGE difference in your life and should finally help you to find some of the joy that seems to have been in short supply thus far!

[thewatchman7]

you know iv often wondered something similar, perhaps a feeling of uphoria, and the idea of the limitless utopia.

i think its the bodies final gift to the brain, a beautiful mirage to make the horrible truth better.

i mean for me it explains all out of body experiences happening to those that beleive, a bright light to christians and family members for those of us who are spiritual.

for me i imagine a nice beach, a scotch and a cigarette.

[White Crane Feather]

Just some background info on me. I was raised Jewish, well forced into it, since it was so impressed upon me I rebelled against it because I have that kind of personality. I don't agree with the teachings, as in, what they believe does not follow my own personal path of belief, however I am never one to say what religion is right or wrong. Anyway, about 5 years ago I converted to Catholicism. I have since lost almost all faith in anything because of a horribly abusive relationship I was in. My father is Catholic and my mother is Jewish so she got to decide how me and my sisters were raised I suppose. In any case, my dad was more of a new age kind of guy when I was a kid, who became more traditional Catholic when I converted and he also decided to join AA. We weren't strict Jewish growing up, very reform, but I did have a bat mitzvah. Anyway, from a young age I was introduced to death when my grandma died then my uncle in a short period of time around the age of four or five. Of course this led my dad to having to explain (mostly to me since I'm the oldest) what death was and what comes after. He is a firm believer of reincarnation, even now that his catholic roots have grown more firm. So from a young age I was tought that reincarnation happens when we die.

When I went through my conversion classes to become catholic, they tried to instill in me the concept of heaven, which is fine if anyone believes it, I personally couldn't accept that. I pretended to because my arguing led to too many problems. As I have grown older and explored more, I have come to have this vision from nowhere about what will happen to me when I die, and it doesn't include heaven or reincarnation. It's a vision of peace, extreme paradise, something that I didn't even have to spend time fantasizing about (as I am a writer and do a lot of brainstorming and fantasizing) it's just something that I basically, inherently know. It was never a dream or anything, in fact I was discussing with a friend of mine our vision of life after death and out popped this beautiful discription of my vision and the image just solidifies and gets more tangible as time goes on. I will try to discribe it to you guys, so you have an idea of what I am talking about.

After death, I find myself in a wonderful, vast field that is completely untouched by pollution. It is overrun with nature, flowers, tall grass, sunshine, hills, and perfect skies where the sun always shines during the day. In this field there is a small cottage. All that it is furnished with are the basics, bed, kitchen, bathroom, and is only one floor. The cottage is white stone and has ivy crawling over its walls. An old wooden door is how to gain entry and the property is surrounded with a small, beautifully kept garden and a stone walkway from the outlining wooden fence to the door. The only real luxury item in the cabin is an oldfashioned typewriter with a never ending stack of fresh paper and an ink ribbon that won't run dry. This is for me, I know, as I will have many things to document and write. Waiting for me at this cottage is a beautiful woman in white. I can't see her face, I never have been able to, I just somehow know she is beautiful and warm and loving, she will be the maternal figure I have always craved and the lover I have always needed. Any food we could want will be provided by nature, every need will be taken care of, and I will be completely at peace. I'll want for nothing, I will be in a paradise unparalleled by anything I currently know.

As skeptical as I am about God at this point, any kind of God, I find it bizarre that I would have such a vision of my afterlife. I just gave a brief discription because I could literally go on for ages discribing what this place will be like for me, I just wanted you guys to get a taste. My point is that this vision came after I lost faith in a loving God. I have never doubted the existence of some sort of afterlife, as I am very convinced that something just has to happen when we die, I am just not sure what at this point. Does anyone else have a specific vision like this? Am I picturing heaven, even if it may just be my own personal version? Am I grasping at straws? Is this wishful thinking? Devine intervention? A coping mechanism for what I find to be a very depressing and disappointing life? Any theories here are welcome.

There is a place like that. Your vision sounds very much like a sacred garden meditation. You don't have to die to go there. Read my blog "a man awake". I think it's a few pages back, there is an entry labeled " intensity."

I have been back several times since.

Edited January 1, 2012 by Seeker79

[Yogigizmo]

I died in Oct 2010, I tried numerous times to describe how I felt, what I experienced, but could never ever give it words that could give it true meaning, true justice until recently when it came to me like a true bolt of lighting, a jolt to my inner core. There was no review of my life, no flowery meadows, no God siting on a throne. I cried, and cried, and cried. It was void of hate, just acceptance. That's it. No Hate. I am no longer afraid to die.

[Sister Spooky]

I died in Oct 2010, I tried numerous times to describe how I felt, what I experienced, but could never ever give it words that could give it true meaning, true justice until recently when it came to me like a true bolt of lighting, a jolt to my inner core. There was no review of my life, no flowery meadows, no God siting on a throne. I cried, and cried, and cried. It was void of hate, just acceptance. That's it. No Hate. I am no longer afraid to die.

Even with this incredibly peaceful vision of mine, I still fear death, so I envy you.

[Yogigizmo]

Even with this incredibly peaceful vision of mine, I still fear death, so I envy you.

No need for envy, alot of people fear death, it's normal, just live life.

[eight bits]

Welcome aboard, Sister S.

Your vision is a nice illustration of how dream contents, visionary contents, and what emerges during other opportunities for unconcscious contents to express themselves, such as

out popped

all share the same forms.

Your vision was dreamt, in essence, by easily a million people in the last month, any month. Your woman in white might have been a wise old man instead, or your cottage surrounded by the garden might have been some other multiply removed space, and your typewriter might have been some other emblem of communication and cooperation between conscious and unconscious functions. But the basic symbolic structure is the common heritage of the species.

We'll make a Jungian of you yet .

Another thing that many of those million +/- dreams will have had is a threshold experience, a transformation, or something that changes the dream-character of the Dreamer in preparation to eneter the multiply removed place. Death is not a popular choice for that, but it will do the trick.

If we were on the dream board instead of the religion board, I'd say "well dreamt." I guess here, I should say "well seen."

BTW, why on earth don't you just make that happen now? Why wait for death? That woman has issued you an invitation, to make the connection while you both live. Perhaps you might consider taking her up on it.

Believe or not, that wasn't what moved me to reply to your post. It's curious that this should happen to you after a Roman Catholic conversion class, because they were trying to introducel you to a view of heaven, which apparently wasn't satisfactory to you.

Theoretically, Catholic "heaven" is the same as Eastern Orthodox "theosis" (searchable), mystical union with God. The Catholics call it the "beatific vision" (also searchable), or paragraph 1028 and surrounding at

http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p123a12.htm

I wrote "theoretically" because so many people don't see them as being the same at all. One major difference is that Orthodox theosis can be achieved during life, while the Catholic beatific vision (except maybe for glimpses granted saints) is more or less reserved for the dead.

I can't help but wonder, though, if the Catholic instruction wasn't "close enough" to theosis, which itself bears a striking resemblance to "individuation" (also searchable), that this may "have stirred something up" which "popped out" when it was given the opportunity.

I don't know anything about what actually happens when we die. Maybe that aspect of your experience is what interests you. I'm just saying that if I had the experience, and I actually have dreamt the corresponding dream, then I'd be looking to make that happen before I died.

[Sister Spooky]

If we were on the dream board instead of the religion board, I'd say "well dreamt." I guess here, I should say "well seen."

Thanks for the welcome,

Without wanting to sound like a smart alec, I would like too point out that had it been a dream, or come to me when I was asleep, I most certainly would have classified it as such, and posted this in the dreams topic. However it didn't happen that way. I went searching for this section with the purpose of discussing it in context to religion as I relate the feeling it brings to something far more spiritual than mental.

If I had to nail down what I believe happens after death (or what I would like to actually happen) it would be reincarnation. I wish I could say that part of me isn't skeptical that I believe this as a result of conditioning from a young age...but I am not. Having been left to my own devices to make my own opinion I don't know what I would believe.

[Clarakore]

My Utopia is a world where we can be weak when we are, strong when we can, open always, and able to be our genuine selves.

The OP described a very lovely vision to me as someone who enjoys writing as well.

Edited January 14, 2012 by Unseelie

[Yogigizmo]

"Your vision was dreamt"

This is just your opinion right? You are trying to make a definite diagnosis right, based on what you believe?

[Marcion Meets E. Sibyl]

Hello Sister Spooky,

Keep in mind that I've never been to Heaven, and what you said, "...a vision of peace, extreme paradise (a la Garden of Eden?), something that I didn't even have to spend time fantasizing about..." sounds like a Heaven I would like to be in but Jesus Christ/God must be in the mix to complete the arena -- but that's just me. You have to understand that I have personally experienced Him. He also saved my life at the same time, by the way.

Therefore, Christian heaven with Jesus Christ/God is the utopia I need with a level of consciousness similar to that of Adam's...before the fall of man...before satan poisoned their (Adam and Eve's) minds with lies and incurred the knowledge of greed, envy, one-upmanship, and death of the physical body (and even soul), most of all.

While on earth, my earthly paradise(?) is to immerse myself in my religious studies, prayers and meditations (because Jesus comes first in my life) the moment I get up in the morning and go to sleep at night. They give me profound joy and comfort and hope. And yes, I know how to have a good time and boogie. I'm a global DJ, after all (oops, not all DJs can take the floor).

"For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind." Isaiah 65:17

Peace.