What makes a person good?

[Drayno]

What makes a person good?

To me it is someone who attempts to be honest to themselves and to others. It is someone who accepts the inherent flaws in their human nature - but more often than not does selfless things for the sake of good. All humans at one point in their lives will do something "bad", but what we should pay attention to is the amount of honesty, open-mindedness, integrity, and intentions that we could consider as "good".

[dest]

what makes a person good?

IMO the person is simply just a catalyst (item) the actual evil or good thing is the idea for example the idea of killing someone (evil) and the idea of helping someone (good) and Religon (plz dont tell me if your in a specific religon your on the "good side") some people are good and some bad so my answer to that is that if they follow their Religon by following it I mean like not murdering or stealing but there are a bunch of other stuff that is evil.

Edit: by following religon I mean that most of the religons have only good rules like not murdering.

Edited February 2, 2012 by dest

[me-wonders]

Good person is someone who makes the most of what they are given in life, makes people around them feel wanted / loved

You make me think of a receptionist who recently retired. This woman was exceptional in how she could manage several phone calls at a time and the people who came to the counter, and make each one feel like she had all the time in the world to just focus on him or her. She just never appeared stressed.

She also greeted everyone with such pleasantness, everyone felt wanted.

So Becky's Mom, I believe you when you say hanging around you makes a person good. That is possible.

Edited February 3, 2012 by me-wonders

[me-wonders]

What makes a person good?

To me it is someone who attempts to be honest to themselves and to others. It is someone who accepts the inherent flaws in their human nature - but more often than not does selfless things for the sake of good. All humans at one point in their lives will do something "bad", but what we should pay attention to is the amount of honesty, open-mindedness, integrity, and intentions that we could consider as "good".

You have said a couple of things I want to call attention to. One is the importance of begin honest with oneself. I read a Christian book about being honest with oneself, and it was hard to admit how right the author is, because I was so accustom to making myself feel good, by lying to myself. But I realized from reading the book, I was making myself a victim and powerless, because my lies were about how blameless I was, and nothing was my fault. I sure wish I still had that book. When we ask ourselves the right questions, and are really honest with ourselves, we can see how to resolve our problems.

You say "more often than not does selfless things for the sake of good". YES! That is living by principles, instead of basing our decisions on how we feel. We do this and not that, because it is the right thing to do, and chose for the right, because we understand cause and effect, and sooner of later if we chose wrongly there is a price to pay. Economies around the world are paying a terrible price for not being honest and in some cases, for being down right selfish and immoral. I am very hopeful that as we all deal with the wrongs of the last several years, we will have a revival or morality.

I so appreciate your mention of the fact that we will do bad. When we get to the end of our lives and look back, we realize our errors, and that we are not born knowing everything we need to know. Some of our worst wrongs are done with good intentions. We must also be forgiving of ourselves and others.

These are qualities of being good, and I will ask again, what makes us good. That is what causes us to have these qualities?

May I give an example? The first thread I read today, was full of rude and hurtful statements, and I almost left the forums before reading this thread. Even though the rudeness and hurtful statements were not directed at me, I felt the pain.

I do not want to spend my time with people who are careless of the feelings of others. It leads to me having a negative outlook, and behaving in away that makes me ashamed myself. Like it can be fun to cut someone down badly with my words, and I used to be proud of doing that, but some years ago I learned that is being abusive, and now I feel ashamed of myself when I do that.

I don't want to hang with people who bring out the worst in me. So I would say, what makes us good or bad, is in part, the people we associate with. I am attracted to the people who have posted in this thread, because they are talking about the rules that bring out the best in everyone.

Edited February 3, 2012 by me-wonders

[Beckys_Mom]

So Becky's Mom, I believe you when you say hanging around you makes a person good. That is possible.

Thank you...I guess with your good nature, hanging out with you can be the same..

[Drayno]

You have said a couple of things I want to call attention to. One is the importance of begin honest with oneself. I read a Christian book about being honest with oneself, and it was hard to admit how right the author is, because I was so accustom to making myself feel good, by lying to myself. But I realized from reading the book, I was making myself a victim and powerless, because my lies were about how blameless I was, and nothing was my fault. I sure wish I still had that book. When we ask ourselves the right questions, and are really honest with ourselves, we can see how to resolve our problems.

You say "more often than not does selfless things for the sake of good". YES! That is living by principles, instead of basing our decisions on how we feel. We do this and not that, because it is the right thing to do, and chose for the right, because we understand cause and effect, and sooner of later if we chose wrongly there is a price to pay. Economies around the world are paying a terrible price for not being honest and in some cases, for being down right selfish and immoral. I am very hopeful that as we all deal with the wrongs of the last several years, we will have a revival or morality.

I so appreciate your mention of the fact that we will do bad. When we get to the end of our lives and look back, we realize our errors, and that we are not born knowing everything we need to know. Some of our worst wrongs are done with good intentions. We must also be forgiving of ourselves and others.

These are qualities of being good, and I will ask again, what makes us good. That is what causes us to have these qualities?

May I give an example? The first thread I read today, was full of rude and hurtful statements, and I almost left the forums before reading this thread. Even though the rudeness and hurtful statements were not directed at me, I felt the pain.

I do not want to spend my time with people who are careless of the feelings of others. It leads to me having a negative outlook, and behaving in away that makes me ashamed myself. Like it can be fun to cut someone down badly with my words, and I used to be proud of doing that, but some years ago I learned that is being abusive, and now I feel ashamed of myself when I do that.

I don't want to hang with people who bring out the worst in me. So I would say, what makes us good or bad, is in part, the people we associate with. I am attracted to the people who have posted in this thread, because they are talking about the rules that bring out the best in everyone.

If we can value honesty then we can value integrity, for integrity is the honesty of a person towards themselves. Indeed, as you spoke very accurately: when we question ourselves honestly we will find ourselves in a position of questioning. What matters in that situations matters not except for one thing, and that thing is this: how you act in said situation - for that reflects on the honesty of yourself to yourself, or to others in any every day situation that you'll find yourself facing in a moment of chaos or respite.

Indeed, principles are detrimental towards living a morally "good" life. I find personally that for me to live a good life I must always seek the road that helps me and others. However, I also recognize that at times I must wait for those options to unfold in front of me. So I see what I can do in a situation, idly contemplating the particular paths that have been laid out. And you can attribute those paths to certain powers - which some people do; just me individually, in respect to everyone around me, I opt to simply adopt a stance of patience. I normally attribute these paths to the natural occurrences of life. Still I try not to forget the morality of my person - especially moments that reflect on my integrity, or where my honesty matters. Moments where your integrity can be questioned are great moments for introspect and development.

I must also agree with your point of forgiveness!

You said it very well.

Cheers!

[me-wonders]

I would say that a person's "good" behavior is a result of both they environment in which they are raised, as well as any physiological condition that might be an influence. This is my opinion based upon years of observation of both Christians and non-Christians in my classroom for years. Granted that they're all teenagers, but their character is revealed through their words and actions.

Whoo, my 4 year old great grandson is being evaluated for a personality disorder. His father is incarcerated and can never be part of the family, even when released, and his father's father is not the best person. Science might explain the problem? We should keep in a mind a con man is a very charming person, who knows how get people's trust. The problem is, a personality disorder, where the conscience, or inhibition system, doesn't operate the same as it does for the greater population.

I will be caring for this great grandson over the weekend, and I am not looking forward to it. Mind you he is a child I am bonded with, and therefore, love. However, he is high energy, and uninhibited, and exhausting!

Becky's Mom, thank you, but know I work hard at being a "nice" person, and I can be easily influenced to not be so nice. I stress easily and that really makes me awful. So does pain, and tend to have plenty of that! I can be the cranky old lady everyone wants to avoid.

I love being past retirement age, and therefore able to hide in my home, or take long walks along the river, because this means avoiding stress and avoiding people when I am not in a good frame of mind.

After having my great grandson for 2 days, I may not be so nice, and then I will have a one and half year granddaughter on Monday and Tuesday. I am praying for good weather, so we can spend a lot of time outside.

[me-wonders]

If we can value honesty then we can value integrity, for integrity is the honesty of a person towards themselves. Indeed, as you spoke very accurately: when we question ourselves honestly we will find ourselves in a position of questioning. What matters in that situations matters not except for one thing, and that thing is this: how you act in said situation - for that reflects on the honesty of yourself to yourself, or to others in any every day situation that you'll find yourself facing in a moment of chaos or respite.

Indeed, principles are detrimental towards living a morally "good" life. I find personally that for me to live a good life I must always seek the road that helps me and others. However, I also recognize that at times I must wait for those options to unfold in front of me. So I see what I can do in a situation, idly contemplating the particular paths that have been laid out. And you can attribute those paths to certain powers - which some people do; just me individually, in respect to everyone around me, I opt to simply adopt a stance of patience. I normally attribute these paths to the natural occurrences of life. Still I try not to forget the morality of my person - especially moments that reflect on my integrity, or where my honesty matters. Moments where your integrity can be questioned are great moments for introspect and development.

I must also agree with your point of forgiveness!

You said it very well.

Cheers!

I want to know about your idea of path options? Each god and goddess had a different way of seeing things, and a different approach to resolving problems. I love Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.'s books, "Gods in Everyman" and "Goddesses in EveryWoman". Several books along the the god and goddess lines have been written since.

There is also a program in Canada dealing with virtues. They made videos explaining virtues and made cards and books to explain virtues. They are a wonderful way to start the day, and excellent for dealing with problems, and teaching children. Like when we faced a problem, we can pull a card from the deck, see how that virtue might help us approach the problem.

So how do you understand the paths?

[Drayno]

I want to know about your idea of path options? Each god and goddess had a different way of seeing things, and a different approach to resolving problems. I love Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.'s books, "Gods in Everyman" and "Goddesses in EveryWoman". Several books along the the god and goddess lines have been written since.

There is also a program in Canada dealing with virtues. They made videos explaining virtues and made cards and books to explain virtues. They are a wonderful way to start the day, and excellent for dealing with problems, and teaching children. Like when we faced a problem, we can pull a card from the deck, see how that virtue might help us approach the problem.

So how do you understand the paths?

I would be delighted to tell you! Invariably we all react certain ways in some situations. As I pointed out - how you react in said situation reflects on who you are. For if you recognize the potential consequences of your actions - although many people cannot, I can merely only imagine, you find yourself much more conscious of what you do. Different circumstances come about in your time consciously interacting with your environment, so imagine a door opening every time you do something. This door, or train of thought or action, will lead people to react a certain way towards you. But in dealing with the possibilities of everything one must understand that to properly act, you must not act unless you act like yourself. You must wait to see how things unfold - you must be patient and listen to others. For the proper doors or paths to come to fruition the best way to act is to act like yourself. For when you are yourself you will not have to worry about anything but the moment. And in that moment you will act naturally.

Adopting patience and understanding that multiple paths will present themselves in front of us in our daily lives can lead one to living somewhat of a humble life. For they understand that even though at times they will be flabbergasted by the events of their lives, they ultimately guide the course of their lives; not control, by the actions they commit in moments, thus multiple paths come about as direct consequences of those actions.

Only when you are patient you recognize these moments.

Virtues offer, as I personally see it, a degree of conscientiousness. As well as a degree of class and humble pride! When a person lives by their own virtues - which more often than not are shared by many people even though they perhaps cannot give a name to it, they embrace a life that is not wasted or torn by nihilism. I believe every man or women defines their own existence, and thus they contrive their own meaning to their own life. With the addition of virtue to that philosophy, it transforms that existential theme into one of thoughtfulness alongside the known and unknown - and by the known and unknown I mean what we have experienced and what we have not yet done to further give meaning to our own life.

Edited February 4, 2012 by Drayno

[Astral Hillbilly]

It appears many Christians think people must become Christians and must be saved by Jesus to be moral and good people. I find this belief rather offensive, and think we should talk about what makes a person good.

You don't have to be saved to be a good moral person. The reason we need to be saved is to enter heaven. You can't be saved by works or good deeds. I think good moral people are that way because they work at it. It's the ability to ignore that demon on your shoulder, and do the right thing instead. It takes a lot of work and effort to be a good person. It takes very little effort not to be. That's how I see it anyway.

[markdohle]

Since you all are proven thoughtful people, I look forward to you picking up these possibilities of what makes a person good, and argue for or against them, so we might have understanding of how to make people good.

How to make people good? Well are we good? Not sure we are, yet we strive to overcome our shortcomings, which can be serious. Now there are people who do not strive, who simply do what they want, not considering the harm that is done to others. If anyone is to be called "good" I think it is the person who continues to strive even when failures happen.

Your understanding of Christianity is one sided and reduces all christians to a simple black and white sterotype, not helpful but understandable. Not sure God is an external force, as you seem to imply. Though over all it is a good question, thanks for asking it.

peace

mark

[libstaK]

To me, it's Empathy. Our capacity to relate to other people and have compassion for their existential position rather than judge them or belittle them is what truly defines our capacity for good.

"I am that."

[me-wonders]

You don't have to be saved to be a good moral person. The reason we need to be saved is to enter heaven. You can't be saved by works or good deeds. I think good moral people are that way because they work at it. It's the ability to ignore that demon on your shoulder, and do the right thing instead. It takes a lot of work and effort to be a good person. It takes very little effort not to be. That's how I see it anyway.

You mentioned where I break with Christianity. I have known prejudice Christians, and I don't think this is a good quality for heaven. Christianity didn't save them from their human failing, although they believe they have been saved.

I think belief systems save people, and perhaps Hinduism is even better for this than Christianity, because it does a better job of spelling out what a good person does. This is a matter of psychology, not magical powers. It is as we believe it to be.

Philosophy can work just as well, such as Drayno's commitment to honesty and integrity. At one time it seemed to be pretty universal to believe we are all part of the same thing, like a woven fabric. Doing unto others as we have done to us, is doing unto ourselves, because we are one. The individuality we assume and take for granted, didn't always define human consciousness.

PS, what Lipstak said is right now!

Edited February 10, 2012 by me-wonders

[me-wonders]

How to make people good? Well are we good? Not sure we are, yet we strive to overcome our shortcomings, which can be serious. Now there are people who do not strive, who simply do what they want, not considering the harm that is done to others. If anyone is to be called "good" I think it is the person who continues to strive even when failures happen.

Your understanding of Christianity is one sided and reduces all christians to a simple black and white sterotype, not helpful but understandable. Not sure God is an external force, as you seem to imply. Though over all it is a good question, thanks for asking it.

peace

mark

In Egyptian theology there is the trinity of our soul. A soul is sort of like water, ice and vapor. That is when we die we are judged and if our hearts are big we go on to the good after life, but it our hearts are shriveled by our selfishness, we do not. So there is the incarnate aspect, and the aspect that goes to the good after life or not, and a third aspect that always returns to the source.

In Christianity this is the trinity is the Father, son and holy ghost, all external. These spiritual forces can act on us, but are not us, and we are not saved unless they do act on us, right?

[me-wonders]

Virtues offer, as I personally see it, a degree of conscientiousness. As well as a degree of class and humble pride! When a person lives by their own virtues - which more often than not are shared by many people even though they perhaps cannot give a name to it, they embrace a life that is not wasted or torn by nihilism. I believe every man or women defines their own existence, and thus they contrive their own meaning to their own life. With the addition of virtue to that philosophy, it transforms that existential theme into one of thoughtfulness alongside the known and unknown - and by the known and unknown I mean what we have experienced and what we have not yet done to further give meaning to our own life.

Yes, the Canadian program is called the language of virtues. People might naturally be virtuous, but it is helpful to have the language of virtuous. It is language that separates us from other animals, and gives us free will. I think one of the most important things for education to teach is, virtues. With the language of virtues, we can hold of a concept of how we want to be, and than aspire to realize this quality within ourselves.

[J. K.]

I think belief systems save people, and perhaps Hinduism is even better for this than Christianity, because it does a better job of spelling out what a good person does.

I can't speak for Hinduism, but I would have to amend your Christian assessment slightly. The Bible does indicate many positive characteristics for a Christian to express, but it's actually the goodness of God that is working through the Christian. Left on our own, we can tend to be rather selfish at times, and I see selflessness as the best "good."

(Please not that I did not say nor mean to imply that non-Christians can't be good. I know that they can.)

[me-wonders]

I can't speak for Hinduism, but I would have to amend your Christian assessment slightly. The Bible does indicate many positive characteristics for a Christian to express, but it's actually the goodness of God that is working through the Christian. Left on our own, we can tend to be rather selfish at times, and I see selflessness as the best "good."

(Please not that I did not say nor mean to imply that non-Christians can't be good. I know that they can.)

Left on our own, our consciousness is very narrow. All we know of the world, is our own very limited experience of it, and if we do not share our experiences with others, that makes our knowledge of the world and others, very, very small.

This thread goes nicely with what is being said in the thread about religion and philosophy. The authority on God and morals is the church, and yet God seems to favor liberty, and the church demands conformity. What I see in this is the contrast between self and the group. Groups have greater consciousness than individuals.

Now comes democracy and liberty. Our democracy includes many religions and churches of all kinds. Originally the colonies were like tribes, sharply divided, and each defending its territory and resources from the other. Freedom of religion was established to stop the conflict between the religious groups.

Now what makes a person good?

[Reece22]

There is a saying I heard many years ago to the effect that "Good is simply the licensed evil."

One thing I have learned over my life is that the nature and ramifications of our ill deeds run much more subtle and deep than we presume; and it may even take generations to observe their true impact. So, 'good' is not a reliable concept (setting aside senseless barbarity and violence). Every i is dotted and every t is crossed in the word corruption. Moreover, beware of those who wear the robes of 'goodness' or being correct, as if they represent some higher authority such as God or Science. These indeed are persons who have dispossessed their integrity at the door, and seek power for specific deep seated reasons.

From the very top to the very bottom, our social structures are corrupt in their own styles and ways. From the charity which only transfers 13% of its annual revenue to the supposed recipients, through to WalMart who shifts 85% of its consumer goods wealth generation activity offshore in the name of 'low costs' - to the HMO which inflates the cost of medical services 450%, to lying about military conflicts in order to cover up for covert and botched operations, forcing through bundled non-qualified C Loans like toxic waste to explode later on pension funds, to the thief and the paranormal peddler, to those who squelch thought and data they do not like - we all reside in rivers and eddies of corruption. Deluding ourselves as to our personal insulation from it, or reclusive from the secret terror stemming from knowledge of this, inside of a religion.

And the penultimate corrupt state, is that of being assured of one's own rectitude. A skeptic must examine himself hard, first; then face the fact that he is not going to be perfect, with courage. That is the beginning of wisdom.

[Jor-el]

You don't have to be saved to be a good moral person. The reason we need to be saved is to enter heaven. You can't be saved by works or good deeds. I think good moral people are that way because they work at it. It's the ability to ignore that demon on your shoulder, and do the right thing instead. It takes a lot of work and effort to be a good person. It takes very little effort not to be. That's how I see it anyway.

I think this is a very good insight to a difficult truth of the church.

People are not saved because they are good or bad, or because they are moral or immoral. Sometimes we forget that that is not the purpose of the church. It is also why we have moral and immoral people within the church.

But being good or bad, moral or immoral, involves a personal choice, on a moment by moment basis. It is not only ignoring the demon on your shoulder, it is denying yourself, your ego and self protection.

Edited February 11, 2012 by Jor-el

[Toadie]

Someone mentioned "are we good people"?? Most people are reflection of their environment and how they are brought up. I'm assuming most of the people who posted on this thread came from a nice functioning family and you probably had a few minor issues while growing up but your parents provided education, food, roof over your head and you where probably never faced with life threatening situations which would alter your "good" behaviour.

Now lets take someone growing up in gang environment. Your time is spent with people who believe power is the only way they will survive in this town. They will do anything to get power, seeing bashings and shootings become second nature to you.

Growing up in such proverty that stealing is common practise.

That child in gang environment ends up shooting someone because they believe this is the only way to survive. Take down a potential competitor

That child in proverty ends up rolling a house so they can feed their family

That child in nice functioning family beats up an old lady

Knowing if someone is a good person shouldn't be judged purely based on their final action but how they got their. Some people are a product of their environment in turn if the environment is not good then you can't say that person is not good because in their environment they are good.

I believe most people are good but their environment posions them into thinking they can do no better then what they have been given

[Leonardo]

What makes a person good?

The opinion of others.

[Arpee]

Well, until we can agree on what it means to be "good", it is basically just opinion.

There are some universal agreements such not intentionally causing unnecessary harm to others.

[Jor-el]

Someone mentioned "are we good people"?? Most people are reflection of their environment and how they are brought up. I'm assuming most of the people who posted on this thread came from a nice functioning family and you probably had a few minor issues while growing up but your parents provided education, food, roof over your head and you where probably never faced with life threatening situations which would alter your "good" behaviour.

Now lets take someone growing up in gang environment. Your time is spent with people who believe power is the only way they will survive in this town. They will do anything to get power, seeing bashings and shootings become second nature to you.

Growing up in such proverty that stealing is common practise.

That child in gang environment ends up shooting someone because they believe this is the only way to survive. Take down a potential competitor

That child in proverty ends up rolling a house so they can feed their family

That child in nice functioning family beats up an old lady

Knowing if someone is a good person shouldn't be judged purely based on their final action but how they got their. Some people are a product of their environment in turn if the environment is not good then you can't say that person is not good because in their environment they are good.

I believe most people are good but their environment posions them into thinking they can do no better then what they have been given

Does this mean that these people do not know they are being bad when they harm others intentionally?

[Toadie]

Harming others may be seen as bad in our eyes but to others it may not be.

Going to war and killing people / shooting someone in your street for protection. Sorry this is an extreme example but you will get the outlining idea. Are either of these people bad or good? Here you have both people fighting for something they believe will make others including their own life better. War is protected by higher people and common people are protected by laws. The war hero or single human being who truely believed unless he shot this particular person they would be in danger.

So are there any good or bad people? People just get labelled accordingly to that cultures / societies emotions towards whatever actions they display and the laws are there for the better good of a whole country, consequences arise if laws are broken. Doesn't mean if a law is broken that person is either good or bad they have just committed an act that is not allowed

[Jor-el]

Harming others may be seen as bad in our eyes but to others it may not be.

Going to war and killing people / shooting someone in your street for protection. Sorry this is an extreme example but you will get the outlining idea. Are either of these people bad or good? Here you have both people fighting for something they believe will make others including their own life better. War is protected by higher people and common people are protected by laws. The war hero or single human being who truely believed unless he shot this particular person they would be in danger.

So are there any good or bad people? People just get labelled accordingly to that cultures / societies emotions towards whatever actions they display and the laws are there for the better good of a whole country, consequences arise if laws are broken. Doesn't mean if a law is broken that person is either good or bad they have just committed an act that is not allowed

Let me again ask the question, as per your examples earlier...

That child in gang environment ends up shooting someone because they believe this is the only way to survive. Take down a potential competitor

That child in proverty ends up rolling a house so they can feed their family

That child in nice functioning family beats up an old lady

Is not our society able to give alternative resolution to any of these problems? Do these people not know that they can ask for aid in overcoming their social and economic difficulties?

If they live in an environment of exclusion, are they not aware that giving in to the laws of survival and the rule of the strong over the weak, will not save them and will only lead them into an unending circle of destruction? Again, are they not aware that they can overcome their environment and actually do some good?

Environment is the eternal excuse given to explain away they corruption of human dignity... there is always a way out of it. But some people will always prefer the stink of their own corruption to the possibility of leaving it behind. It would mean accepting help, it would mean putting your ego aside, it would mean that they would not be king of the anthill anymore...

Simply put, it is not about survival, it is about ego.