Dad shoots laptop

[Kazahel]

Not just a p parent, but a school teacher will not allow it.. Teachers do not like students speaking over the top of them or speaking out of turn.. The kids are asked to raise their hands to get permission to speak... That is the height of good manners.. And if my own kid was speaking out of turn and disobeying her teacher, it looks bad on me, as it would any one else that believed in the same thing... I feel this point has dragged on and is irrelevant to the topic.. I have said all I need to say on this.. We disagree.. that's it..

It was never about teachers in school though so dont attempt to divert it that way. Or course students put up their hands to speak in class. You dont expect your children to do the same at home though, well I sure dont and I'm proud to say that. To me that is not manners. That is a horribly controlling thing to do to a child in a home environment.

You yes you have said all you want to say on this matter...

I spoke when I was spoken to most times.. It was classed in our home as good manners.. I teach my kid the same.. I would never complain over using good manners to anyone..

So you can look at that as good manners but that doesnt mean it actually is good manners.

There is an assumption Let me tell you something Kaz.. I never said I would or would not not complain in general as this is what you were asking of me. The thread is not aobut that, it is about HOW she complained so in answer I said and I would not do it like she did on line for all to read putting my parents or family down.. If I complain in general, I do it face to face.. But as I am well used to mopping sometimes twice a day.. That is irelevant.. The thread is about how she did it, not her actual complaint

I think it was more of an observation. And yes the thread is about how she chose to vent her feelings over things like the floor. She chose like how a teenage girl might choose. So before people start calling her spoilt and ungratful they need to understand her frustration. And I wasnt seeing people being very understanding towards that. Which is why I asked you how you would feel in regards to the mud.

I already know what you think of the father, read more or less the same views previously.. No point in re-reading the same views again.. I support the father.. You favour the daughter.. I am not going to keep returning to tear apart posts on who said what.. I made all my points clear as have you.. we just disagree with each other and you disagree with other who posted similar to me.. End off

Yes ok.

Seriously though, is no-one going to pick up on the fact this man has gun and fires nine rounds at his daughters possessions? Or is nothing her own or even what about freedom of speech? Did he want to frighten her or teach her a lesson? What's the lesson? If you don't like what some-one says about you, get your gun?!

Oh I picked up on that. I even picked up that he said he was going to shoot the laptop the first time, where she got grounded for three months. It seemed the 2nd offence that he actually went through with it and used his gun. Isnt it wonderful that he gives her second chances...

It's a bizarre thing to use a gun as a method to.. teach ? a child. What exactly is it that he is teaching again. Oh thats right... respect?

[Beckys_Mom]

It was never about teachers in school though so dont attempt to divert it that way.

So you can look at that as good manners but that doesnt mean it actually is good manners.

It is to those that recognise them as such and it is to those that understand that the phrase - Kids should speak when spoken to means - Do not talk over the top of your parents and those in authority, wait your turn.. Do not interrupt them, listen and wait. The phrase - Children should be seen and not heard usually understood as > - Do not let your kid run riot in public by playing up for all to see..

Anyone that understands this and believes in training their kids not to act in those ways.. Will understand it is good manners ... So yes it is about teachers and anyone in authority.. I stand firm on that.. .It never meant it is not a literal sense that kids should never speak unless told to..

And yes the thread is about how she chose to vent her feelings over things like the floor. She chose like how a teenage girl might choose. So before people start calling her spoilt and ungratful they need to understand her frustration. And I wasnt seeing people being very understanding towards that. Which is why I asked you how you would feel in regards to the mud.

I will understand her frustration, but never will I understand her attitude and reasoning in badmouthing her parents on line for all to read, it was how she demonstrated her frustration ..It was how she did it which is the entire point of the news article.. Yet you keep pushing on the fact she complained.. You have avoided the real reason behind the problem in the OP article and video.. My argument is about how and not why she complained as is the father reason too ..

I also know that these kind of children have to work so much harder and put in nothing but pure labour every day .. So if you give these kind of children a chance to go and live in a good home, do light chores, get educated, have nice food, clothes and learn how to have luxuries like phones and laptops etc... These kids would give their right arm for that.. I doubt they would complain as much.. It would be a lot better than the life they did have... So yes she is spoilt in comparison I will stand over every last word I have said and rightly so..

Edited February 13, 2012 by Beckys_Mom

[Beckys_Mom]

What's the lesson? If you don't like what some-one says about you, get your gun?!

I wouldn't have used a gun to shoot a laptop..I would have just taken it off her...

Edited February 13, 2012 by Beckys_Mom

[Kazahel]

It was how she did it which is the entire point of the news article.. Yet you keep pushing on the fact she complained.. You have avoided the real reason behind the problem in the OP article and video..

Actually we wouldnt of even heard about the problems at all if the father hadnt taken a gun to the laptop. So the point of the news article was more about the fathers actions imo than the daughters. It was about the fathers way of teaching a lesson. So the real reason behind the 'problem' is actually the parenting in the first place. Not the daughter showing lack of respect. As I have said many times now, she is a product of her parents. So the real reason behind the problem of the daughters actions is her parents and their parenting methods.

I also know that these kind of children have to work so much harder and put in nothing but pure labour every day .. So if you give these kind of children a chance to go and live in a good home, do light chores, get educated, have nice food, clothes and learn how to have luxuries like phones and laptops etc... These kids would give their right arm for that.. I doubt they would complain as much.. It would be a lot better than the life they did have... So yes she is spoilt in comparison I will stand over every last word I have said and rightly so..

Yes you can take that side of course. There are poor kids out there that would be happy to live in such a home. Or course. But you can also take the other side. There are people who would do anything to be a parent and I doubt those people would complain over what I see as minor issues(and typical teenge sounding issues). These people would be happy just being a parent and having a child to love. Children are a gift but some seem to take that gift for granted and treat the child as if they are more of a burden and must therefore pull their own weight or be looked upon as one.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Kazahel

[Beckys_Mom]

Actually we wouldnt of even heard about the problems at all if the father hadnt taken a gun to the laptop. (SNIP)

True.. As for the rest, I do not think any more needs to be said.. We both gave our views and we both seem to stand by our own opinions..

[Michelle]

I wonder what other kinds of problems they are having with her? The last time she was grounded it was for three months. How many people start out grounding their child for three months? We all know the average for a first offense is a weekend, then a week, then two, etc.,

I don't really think complaining is the main issue here. This was something he had explicitly told her not to do and she did it again. She could have complained to her friends texting or on the phone, but she had to put it where anyone could read it so he refuted in kind. Not to mention the language. If my Mother had ever heard me use language like that I don't know when I would have seen the outside world again...if I hadn't had two jobs while I was in high school. Not only that, I had to babysit my nephew for free while my sister worked at our Mother's restaurant, because we all pitched in and worked at our Mother's restaurant when needed. That's what families do...they help each other. And all that was before any house cleaning I had to do.

Nope...I have no pity for her at all.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Michelle

[Beckys_Mom]

I wonder what other kinds of problems they are having with her? The last time she was grounded it was for three months. How many people start out grounding their child for three months? We all know the average for a first offense is a weekend, then a week, then two, etc.,

I don't really think complaining is the main issue here. This was something he had explicitly told her not to do and she did it again. She could have complained to her friends texting or on the phone, but she had to put it where anyone could read it so he refuted in kind. Not to mention the language.

Nope...I have no pity for her at all.

Well said Michelle.. Every word posted

If my Mother had ever heard me use language like that I don't know when I would have seen the outside world again...if I hadn't had two jobs while I was in high school. Not only that, I had to babysit my nephew for free while my sister worked at our Mother's restaurant, because we all pitched in and worked at our Mother's restaurant when needed.

Quite right too.. Your mother knew how to raise you all well......Actually if there were more people like you and your mother in this world Michelle, it would be a better place than it is now.. These days so many parents allow their kids to run riot and be that disrespectful...... If I had of said what the girl posted - Get up off your as* and make your own coffee.. and I won't be there when you are older to wipe your as*.. <--If I had of said that to either my mother or father.. I would have had to run far and make sure they couldn't find me... I can never imagine saying rude things like that, especially for all to read.. My parents would have been cut to the bone ( really embarrassed ) ..

That's what families do...they help each other. And all that was before any house cleaning I had to do.

Very true.. We all muck in and help each other.. I loved doing it... I mentioned in a previous post.. That my own dad used to get me to make him cups of coffee... I never looked at it in a negative light. Because he only ever asked me....I used to think that it was because my coffee was the best he ever had lol

Because of mucking in with house chores, it helped me learn to look after my own home and keep it in good order ...

[_Only]

No problem, BM, but thanks. 3 or 4 people seemed to think I was unaware of why a father should want to care for his child, and I was a bit bemused as to why people would think that, rather than realise my question was rhetorical.

Think it's safe to say we were all fully aware of the rhetoric, but didn't, and still don't, understand how it applies.

[_Only]

She could have complained to her friends texting or on the phone, but she had to put it where anyone could read it so he refuted in kind.

No, she wrote it to her private friends. She made steps to keep it private, but I.T. dad backdoored his way in to her privacy.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Jerry Only

[Leonardo]

Think it's safe to say we were all fully aware of the rhetoric, but didn't, and still don't, understand how it applies.

A father will care for (such as buy food for, etc) his daughter because she is his daughter. A daughter will care for (such as make coffee for) her father because he is her father. It is part of a simple thing called love.

It is no more complicated than that.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't think it required explaining.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Leonardo

[Michelle]

Well said Michelle.. Every word posted

Quite right too.. Your mother knew how to raise you all well......Actually if there were more people like you and your mother in this world Michelle, it would be a better place than it is now.. These days so many parents allow their kids to run riot and be that disrespectful...... If I had of said what the girl posted - Get up off your as* and make your own coffee.. and I won't be there when you are older to wipe your as*.. <--If I had of said that to either my mother or father.. I would have had to run far and make sure they couldn't find me... I can never imagine saying rude things like that, especially for all to read.. My parents would have been cut to the bone ( really embarrassed ) ..

Very true.. We all muck in and help each other.. I loved doing it... I mentioned in a previous post.. That my own dad used to get me to make him cups of coffee... I never looked at it in a negative light. Because he only ever asked me....I used to think that it was because my coffee was the best he ever had lol

Because of mucking in with house chores, it helped me learn to look after my own home and keep it in good order ...

Thank you, BM.

I felt the same way about doing things like making coffee and even surprising them with having dinner made when they got home. I've always been very particular about how the house looks, too. I often cleaned without being asked, because I hate to see such pretty things with dust all over them and dirty dishes in the sink.

Maybe I was a maid in an earlier life.

[_Only]

A father will care for (such as buy food for, etc) his daughter because she is his daughter. A daughter will care for (such as make coffee for) her father because he is her father. It is part of a simple thing called love.

It is no more complicated than that.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't think it required explaining.

It does, because if you think there is a bond of love involved when kids do chores for their parents, you're living in a dream world, or have been reading too many of BM's posts.

A father provides and takes care of a daughter out of love, and it being his job.

A daughter does chores because it's just one of those things she has to do.

Think some here have forgotten what it's like to be a pre-teen, teen, or are just not being truthful with themselves, for the sake of sounding good.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Jerry Only

[J. K.]

I'll probably be in the minority with this view. I see one of the factors contributing to young peoples' "no respect" attitude to be the influence of television. Somewhere along the line, sitcoms changed from relatively pleasant families to families in which the parents are morons and the children know everything. When I had a step-daughter, I tried my best to be Mike Brady to her, but she became Bart Simpson to me.

[Michelle]

No, she wrote it to her private friends. She made steps to keep it private, but I.T. dad backdoored his way in to her privacy.

You don't know how many friends or relatives have access to her facebook. That is how a lot of grandparents stay in touch with their grandchildren these days. I think a responsible parent should monitor what their child is dong on the internet. There are too many dangerous people out there and kids give out too much information. That's why you end up with kids that send risque pictures being stalked or worse and have parties while parents are out of town and thousands of people show up.

[_Only]

You don't know how many friends or relatives have access to her facebook. That is how a lot of grandparents stay in touch with their grandchildren these days. I think a responsible parent should monitor what their child is dong on the internet. There are too many dangerous people out there and kids give out too much information. That's why you end up with kids that send risque pictures being stalked or worse and have parties while parents are out of town and thousands of people show up.

But I do know, unless the article is lying for interest value, that:

Jordan’s daughter thought she had blocked her parents from being able to view the post – but dad works in IT and was able to view the original message after upgrading his daughter’s computer for her.

[Michelle]

But I do know, unless the article is lying for interest value, that:

"You don't know how many friends or relatives have access to her facebook"

So you are psychic now? So, tell me, how many friends does she have on her facebook?

She thought she had blocked it from her parents.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Michelle

[willowdreams]

how can she earn her own money when she is still studying. I feel sorry for her. Both her parents sound like total nut cases

I work for a major company here, and i work 2nd shift, from 5 to 11 there are only two or three of us full timers there, the rest is 26 and 17 yr olds. They also work on saturdays. 30+ hours a week, often I see their school books out on their desks, and in the cafe room they have their books out working on homework.

Also when I was a teenager, and preteen, I worked too. It was called fast food joints and babysitting. I studied when I had the chance

But that was 40+ yrs ago.

[_Only]

"You don't know how many friends or relatives have access to her facebook"

So you are psychic now? So, tell me, how many friends does she has on her facebook?

She thought she had blocked it from her parents.

Did you stop reading after the 3 words you bolded? She made it private, and her dad used his computer knowledge to view things he wouldn't be able to normally access, inside her actual hard drive. That is what I know, that you bolded. I don't see the point in creating hypothetical other ways he could've found out what she wrote, when it isn't the situation.

[Beckys_Mom]

Thank you, BM.

I felt the same way about doing things like making coffee and even surprising them with having dinner made when they got home. I've always been very particular about how the house looks, too. I often cleaned without being asked, because I hate to see such pretty things with dust all over them and dirty dishes in the sink.

Maybe I was a maid in an earlier life.

You sound a bit house proud and that is a really wonderful thing....I used to have a friend on here who said she hired a maid to clean her home, and I thought - Why would you need that? Can't you do it yourself? I wasn't putting her down, but I like to do my own cleaning, that way I know it is done right ...ya know? I guess I just like things done in my own way..

I was a coffee maker in a past life

[Michelle]

Did you stop reading after the 3 words you bolded? She made it private, and her dad used his computer knowledge to view things he wouldn't be able to normally access, inside her actual hard drive. That is what I know, that you bolded. I don't see the point in creating hypothetical other ways he could've found out what she wrote, when it isn't the situation.

Maybe you should go back and read what I wrote again because I don't think you are comprehending.

[Beckys_Mom]

You don't know how many friends or relatives have access to her facebook. That is how a lot of grandparents stay in touch with their grandchildren these days.

I believe you mean those on her list

"You don't know how many friends or relatives have access to her facebook"

So you are psychic now? So, tell me, how many friends does she have on her facebook?

We wouldn't know, unless we could see her face book.. Or we are physic lol

Did you stop reading after the 3 words you bolded? She made it private, and her dad used his computer knowledge to view things he wouldn't be able to normally access, inside her actual hard drive.

I feel you have misread Michelle... I think Michelle is talking about the other relatives that could well be on her page already.. and most likely friends of the family too..

I think a responsible parent should monitor what their child is dong on the internet. There are too many dangerous people out there and kids give out too much information. That's why you end up with kids that send risque pictures being stalked or worse and have parties while parents are out of town and thousands of people show up.

Darn straight... It is wise for any parent to keep tabs on their kids private internet goings on... I have seen news stories on a few parents that only WISH they had, when their kids went off to meet up with strangers and never seen again

Well said Michelle..

Edited February 13, 2012 by Beckys_Mom

[_Only]

Maybe you should go back and read what I wrote again because I don't think you are comprehending.

I'm comprehending your assumption that her dad could've possibly found out through another way. But you don't know that and are just saying "what if". That isn't how he found out, so what is the point of mentioning it?? Or do I need to go back and read 5 more times?

[willowdreams]

It does, because if you think there is a bond of love involved when kids do chores for their parents, you're living in a dream world, or have been reading too many of BM's posts.

A father provides and takes care of a daughter out of love, and it being his job.

A daughter does chores because it's just one of those things she has to do.

Think some here have forgotten what it's like to be a pre-teen, teen, or are just not being truthful with themselves, for the sake of sounding good.

I havent forgotten, I may be closer to 50 then you, but I have not forgotten, I remember hormones running rampant, thinking i had all the answers and knew better then adults and thinking i was the least understood person in the world. I also remember thinking every HORRID chore i had to do was going to drive me insane. How no one cared or loved me and how no one listened to me

I grew up *shrugs* I had a crappy child hood, but there were good times too. I also know that as much as I hated chores and such, they did help me develop decent habits that help me now as an older adult.

Nope, i had little to no privacy, but then again why would I have? Parents give to much privacy NOW. My guardians knew who my friends were, their parents, their phone numbers. They checked up on me. They would also shame me. I missbehaved ONCE in public, and never again since every step i took home was followed by a swing of a switch on my legs in front of EVERYONE

My kids never had privacy either. Nor did they expect it. I was the parent, it was my job to know what mess they were getting into and though I usually let them get out of their own messes, I knew if the cops ever came to my door saying my kid was missing or something, *I* knew who their friends were, where they were to have been, and what mess they were in. I knew where they went on the internet and who their internet friends were.

Until they paid for their own 'toys' and access to what the toys offered, they got no privacy and i offer no apologies

BTW I just asked my 27 yr old how she felt about chores and no privacy as a kid/teen.

She said sometimes she hated it but she understands I was just being her 'parent', she is glad i cared enough to not give a damn bout her attitude and did my job anyways.

Being a parent is not about being loved in return or understood by the kid.

They will understand when they are older or have kids themselves.

Tis a thankless world out there, and we have to teach them to survive in it or we fail as a parent.

[Michelle]

I'm comprehending your assumption that her dad could've possibly found out through another way. But you don't know that and are just saying "what if". That isn't how he found out, so what is the point of mentioning it?? Or do I need to go back and read 5 more times?

I in no way implied that. He made it clear he found out when he was upgrading her computer and she thought she had locked him out. I simply pointed out that she could have had thousands of people friended and he didn't want her to be disrespectful again by putting something like her grievances on there while cursing like a sailor.

Yes, I did mean on her list, BM. I don't do facebook so I don't know the technicalities.

[_Only]

The more times I've read the article, though, I'm starting to wonder how much of what actually happened was him going in with his bifocals and "hacking" her files to find information, as opposed to him just happening to see her browser up, logged onto Facebook, and the article writer uses the fact that he works in IT to imply that he used above average means, for the sake of making a more interesting story.