earthygirl04 Posted September 16, 2004 #1 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Random Thoughts from a Woman 1) Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. 2) Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. 3) One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 LBS. 4) My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. 5) The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes. 6) The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does. 7) The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. 8) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. 9) Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. 10) I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire. 11) Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes! 12) Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I just forget to eat," Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. 13) A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care. 14) They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen witch ... do it and die." 15) The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him.) 16) I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day. 17) I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. 18) If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daughter of the Nine Moons Posted September 16, 2004 #2 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Earthygirl that made my day! 4) My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tia Posted September 16, 2004 #3 Share Posted September 16, 2004 So many of those fit me, I don't know whether to or . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceCoopersGirl Posted September 16, 2004 #4 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Number 6,that goes really well in my local pub Number 18,that is sooo true. Thanks Earthygirl,they are all great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted September 16, 2004 #5 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BurnSide Posted September 16, 2004 #6 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Wow. And i take it then that all women have this song going through their heads all day long? "Rain drops keep fallin on my head..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KT Posted September 16, 2004 #7 Share Posted September 16, 2004 LOVED IT made me smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earthygirl04 Posted September 16, 2004 Author #8 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Tia Today, 07:38 AM Post #3 So many of those fit me, I don't know whether to or . Me too! "lol" I know what you mean! I know 11 that fit me, and that's kinda sad since there's only 18 there!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichaelS Posted September 16, 2004 #9 Share Posted September 16, 2004 That list made me smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celumnaz Posted September 16, 2004 #10 Share Posted September 16, 2004 hehe, as an empathetic male I enjoyed this list and am sending it to my wife, giving due credit of course. lol thanks for putting that up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earthygirl04 Posted September 16, 2004 Author #11 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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