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Both longed for and feared

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Both longed for and feared

Love, I think for most is something longed for and feared at the same time. Well, perhaps I am thinking about myself here and generalizing too much. Love opens up our heart and makes it vulnerable; it allows the one loved to have power over us. It is like asking someone to open up their hands and then putting your heart in it, trusting that it will not become a closed fist. It means putting aside self protection and allowing some-one in to a space that perhaps few are allowed into. I have found that the pain that flows from self-protection greater than the inner isolation of not allowing at least one other person in. I think this longing tells us something about God’s love for us. What makes God’s love scary, for me, is that it is not human love since it is infinite, greater than anything I can understand, but something that unfolds for me at ever deeper levels as I age and grow.

Love of another and the ability to also return the love that someone has for us, is a form of death. Allowing us to move into a larger more expansive reality; allowing the new seed to grow at it’s own pace. So with God, infinite, revealed as loving, wild and uncontrollable and waiting for our response requires a death deeper and more profound. It is not easy to put ones heart into the hand of God, yet it is something I believe that many long for. Our desire, our thirst for love is also telling us something about God, a key to understand, albeit in a limited way, God’s seeking us and yes longing for us. Love can seem merciless, infinite love even more so. Love is not a calming drug; it is a fire that propels us further and deeper into the mystery. As we relate to the loved one in front of us, so with God. There is only the one, and each of us is that one, called, pursued, and sought after.

If someone reaches out,

then reach back,

for we all know loneliness

and the pain of unrequited friendship and love.

Just be present,

knowing that ones limits

is not a obstacle to seeing each one before us

as worthy of consideration and gentleness.

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