EllJay Posted September 2, 2012 #151 Share Posted September 2, 2012 Its Goldilocks-temperature...not to hot, not to cold, but just perfect to die for. What do you call a male ladybug? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 3, 2012 #152 Share Posted September 3, 2012 A six-legged cross-dressing freak! Or 'Derek', if his name's Derek. Everyone has heard of 'turkey grease' so why do Turkey and Greece not get along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 3, 2012 #153 Share Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) I think the main reason is that the Turks keep on misspelling 'Greece' as 'Grease', to the point where the Greeks feel they're doing it on purpose. If it takes six men eleven hours to dig a hole of the required size, and each man has 50mns break during that time and only one man is on a break at any given time ........ what has each man got in his lunch box? Edited September 3, 2012 by ouija ouija Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunn Posted September 3, 2012 Author #154 Share Posted September 3, 2012 10 Hrs and 10 mins of empty space because at some point each of them should of been really fringin' hungry. Who's winning the human race? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 3, 2012 #155 Share Posted September 3, 2012 OMG! Has it started already? When did it start? I'm not ready! *wriggles and squirms into bright pink lycra running two-piece* * gets laces in a knot trying to fasten them quickly* Why did Davy Jones decide to locate his locker at the bottom of the sea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 4, 2012 #156 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Being full of lemons, his locker was heavy, and fell overboard. What eradicated disease do you think we should reintroduce? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 4, 2012 #157 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I would like scurvy to be reintroduced because it sounds so jolly .............. it sounds like a jolly dance: ' Take your partners for The Scurvy!' What is the thinking behind the expression: driving someone round the bend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 4, 2012 #158 Share Posted September 4, 2012 It is a term derived from the world of plumbing, for when someone is as pleasant as a blocked toilet. Instead of compulsory-purchasing 200 homes, why can't they build another runway at Heathrow above an existing one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 4, 2012 #159 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Honestly Alan, your gigantic brain is wasted here .......... you should have a job as Cameron's top adviser(advisor?), in every department. I cannot fault your idea of stacking runways on top of each other ....... why stop at just two? How was it possible for 'too many cooks to spoil the broth'? Surely, 'the more, the merrier'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 4, 2012 #160 Share Posted September 4, 2012 How was it possible for 'too many cooks to spoil the broth'? The cooks were in the broth! Are you gonna be glued to the new Dallas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 4, 2012 #161 Share Posted September 4, 2012 HAHAHA! That has to be THE silliest question in this 'silly question' thread! Who in their right mind is going to be watching it? ....................................... ........................aah ... you're going to, aren't you? 'You are what you eat': does this really apply to anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 4, 2012 #162 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Yes... me! My name is Chip. Alan Chip. Why do they say "Just what the doctor ordered"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunn Posted September 9, 2012 Author #163 Share Posted September 9, 2012 A few people who are wannabe' Doctors and always seem to get exactly what they wanted. If I went the speed of light around the Earth, would I catch up with myself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 9, 2012 #164 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Weeell, the odds are pretty much stacked against it, aren't they? For instance: as you zoomed around for the second time, you could miss yourself simply by being at a slightly different altitude ........ OR ...... your original self may have stopped in at a cafe for a snack at the precise moment when your second self flies by. Still, I may be wrong. Let me know how you get on with that. Why is tie-dying not as popular as it was? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 12, 2012 #165 Share Posted September 12, 2012 (edited) It's just a fashion fad — like long beards, wearing beads, or using acid. Are you waiting for the new season of Dallas to come out on dvd? . Edited September 12, 2012 by acute alan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 25, 2012 #166 Share Posted September 25, 2012 No. I'm waiting for the box set. Why has chipboard been usurped by MDF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 25, 2012 #167 Share Posted September 25, 2012 There's a clue in the name: CHIPboard ....... it just chips and breaks up too easily. Whereas MassivelyDenseFibreboard is um ......... dense and therefore much stronger. Obvious, innit? Why do Morris dancers wear bells on their trouser legs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EllJay Posted September 25, 2012 #168 Share Posted September 25, 2012 So you will hear them well in advance, long before you see them, and give you a chance to flee and avoid the horrible sight of their silly dance. Is it ok to use an AM radio in the afternoon? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 25, 2012 #169 Share Posted September 25, 2012 (edited) No! You must use an AM radio in the morning, and an FM radio following mid-day. Why is cheese with cake disgusting, while cheesecake is heavenly? . Edited September 25, 2012 by acute alan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunn Posted September 26, 2012 Author #170 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Because some people tend to cut the chesse while eating cake. How is the "alarm clock going off" when it actually turns on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted September 26, 2012 #171 Share Posted September 26, 2012 The additives react and make it go mouldy. Why does the jelly run yet the door stays a jar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 27, 2012 #172 Share Posted September 27, 2012 The jelly runs because it doesn't want to be late for the party. The door stays ajar because it is incognito. What is the opposite of 'Strictly Come Dancing'? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 28, 2012 #173 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Weeeell ........ I'm doing today's lunch before tomorrow's breakfast. 'fol-de-rol' & 'hey-nonny-no': why were these crazy phrases ever put into songs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 1, 2012 #174 Share Posted October 1, 2012 The European Union! Back in the 12th Century, Brussels declared that 'rol'ing and 'fol'ing were compulsory, so no 'hey-nonny-no' became a no-go. Lute players failing to conform were put into stocks outside Abbey Road Studios and pelted with rotten tomatoes for the whole too-dum-dilly-day. Do hills go up, or do valleys go down? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunn Posted October 1, 2012 Author #175 Share Posted October 1, 2012 With gravity, either way. Without gravity, we'd never know. Are there a lot of virgins in the Virgin Islands? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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