Simbi Laveau Posted August 24, 2012 #1 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) Is your man being a jack ass ? Don't know how to approach the cute girl at the laundromat . Is your marriage totally in the sh***er ? Ask Auntie Entity ,WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ? Disclaimer; If I tell you to stop being a complete ass,or your antipersperant just ain't making the cut,you're not allowed to get butt hurt . Swallow it like trooper ,and fix that sucky relationship ! And yes,Simbi here will be your guide . Heard it all,seen it all,and I watch a lot of Divorce Court . Edited August 24, 2012 by Simbi Laveau 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meryt-tetisheri Posted August 24, 2012 #2 Share Posted August 24, 2012 That will be one interesting thread to read. Good luck Simbi 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarvelAtTheWords Posted August 25, 2012 #3 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Wait...what?? Wouldn't there be datingtips? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 25, 2012 Author #4 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Wait...what?? Wouldn't there be datingtips? Auntie is chock full of tips . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarvelAtTheWords Posted August 25, 2012 #5 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Haha...never been on a date before, so why don't you give it to me?? Along with your figs?? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 25, 2012 Author #6 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Haha...never been on a date before, so why don't you give it to me?? Along with your figs?? My figs are all gone now . And Auntie needs details . How old are you ,do you like boys or girls .Do you have someone specific in mind,or do you just want wanton fun with whomever . Never had a date ...hnnnnn,we must rectify this . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mule Posted August 25, 2012 #7 Share Posted August 25, 2012 was tina turner "Aunty Emnity"? she was definately the Acid Queen... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 25, 2012 Author #8 Share Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) was tina turner "Aunty Emnity"? she was definately the Acid Queen... She was Auntie Entity ,in "mad max,beyond thunder dome". I figured this was like an agony aunt column,so I needed an auntie name . I am actually wearing the exact outfit Tina wore in the movie,when I answer the questions here . Really,I am. http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/auntie-entity.jpg Edited August 25, 2012 by Simbi Laveau Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mule Posted August 25, 2012 #9 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I'll be too busy drooling to ask questions 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 25, 2012 Author #10 Share Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) I'll be too busy drooling to ask questions If memory serves,she was close to 60 years old when she did that movie,and that outfit weighed something like 55 kg / 100+ lbs . Edited August 25, 2012 by Simbi Laveau 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mule Posted August 25, 2012 #11 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I still would... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarvelAtTheWords Posted August 25, 2012 #12 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Think I'll settle for fun this time...but with whomever might be the wrong word here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 25, 2012 Author #13 Share Posted August 25, 2012 With all the men on here ,saying ..Oooowww,p***shhhaaawww.....where are dem girls ...... You would think someone would have asked something ...... Ho hum....guess I will take the dress off ... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 25, 2012 Author #14 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Think I'll settle for fun this time...but with whomever might be the wrong word here So whatever ....ok,what species or non corporeal being,are you interested in dating ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarvelAtTheWords Posted August 25, 2012 #15 Share Posted August 25, 2012 WELL WELL...when you put it that way... I want a werewolf 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted August 25, 2012 #16 Share Posted August 25, 2012 WELL WELL...when you put it that way... I want a werewolf be careful what you wish for ............ just sayin' 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarvelAtTheWords Posted August 25, 2012 #17 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Bring it on!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 25, 2012 Author #18 Share Posted August 25, 2012 (edited) Bring it on!! :Du Ok,well ...I think we have a few lurking on UM to be honest . They point and laugh at all the skeptics on the Cryptid and sightings forums,so you may want to put out signals and feelers ,with were suggestive posts ,in both of those forums. To catch ones attention in the real world,during the full moon,I suggest you slather raw meat all over yourself. Like buy a good piece of organic steak,and rub it all over your naked body . Then maybe dab some bacon lard behind your ears and knees. They really don't care what you're wearing ,or about make up jewelry or perfume. Hell,I don't think they even care what sex you are . So do this,and then go wander in the woods ,and see if he picks up...your scent . Let's start here and see if you survi........ummm,meet anyone ...and we can go to the next step from there. Edited August 25, 2012 by Simbi Laveau 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 25, 2012 Author #19 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Bring it on!! Oh and,you may want to check out your local vampire bars .The kind with gothy fake fanged idiots,all pretending to be deep and creepy. Weres occasionally go slumming in those,looking for a late night snack . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarvelAtTheWords Posted August 25, 2012 #20 Share Posted August 25, 2012 OMG! Don't think I'll survive your datingtips 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 25, 2012 Author #21 Share Posted August 25, 2012 OMG! Don't think I'll survive your datingtips Hey,you're the one who wants to date a werewolf . Comes with the turf .Now get out there and meet some hairy big fanged guys . If Bella can do it,so can you ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarvelAtTheWords Posted August 26, 2012 #22 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Oh...yes I would like an adult version of Jacob 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Shadows Posted August 27, 2012 #23 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Is your man being a jack ass ? Don't know how to approach the cute girl at the laundromat . Is your marriage totally in the sh***er ? Ask Auntie Entity ,WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ? Disclaimer; If I tell you to stop being a complete ass,or your antipersperant just ain't making the cut,you're not allowed to get butt hurt . Swallow it like trooper ,and fix that sucky relationship ! And yes,Simbi here will be your guide . Heard it all,seen it all,and I watch a lot of Divorce Court . Hmmm. Known a guy for several months, haven't scared him off yet. What am I doing wrong? Also, why does it seem to put off so many men when they find someone who's not completely dependent on them, who doesn't hyperventilate every time she's not in a "relationship", and for the most part knows what she wants? Is over independence a relationship-killer? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted August 27, 2012 Author #24 Share Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) Hmmm. Known a guy for several months, haven't scared him off yet. What am I doing wrong? Also, why does it seem to put off so many men when they find someone who's not completely dependent on them, who doesn't hyperventilate every time she's not in a "relationship", and for the most part knows what she wants? Is over independence a relationship-killer? Do you want to scare him off ? And woman,I so understand . Men,despite everything they say,are so into simpering ,airheaded helpless lasses . They go on and on about wanting an equal ,but they will go for boob or bank acct size ,over brains ,any day. So many guys all want a chick with cash . God forbid you display semblance of a brain,or you actually do not need them to survive ,they run for the hills . If they stay,then you've hit pay dirt,but know,guys like this are rarer than legit Bigfoot sightings . So now,if you want to get rid of this one,easy peasy .Just say :" I love you more than anything,give me babies ,make it legal ,now !" He will leave burning skid marks in the wake of his escape . Edited August 27, 2012 by Simbi Laveau 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mule Posted August 27, 2012 #25 Share Posted August 27, 2012 back to the OP...what do you have against jack-asses?? :/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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