The warning signs of insanity

[Althalus]

-Your friends tell you that you have been acting strange lately, and then you hit them several times with a sledgehammer.

-Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.

-You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.

-You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.

-Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it.

-You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits.

-You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting fire to his lawn decorations.

-Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.

-People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.

-Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day.

-You laugh out loud during funerals.

-When your doctor tells you to say ah, you yell out "RAPE! RAPE!"

-Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.

-You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge.

-You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.

-Your father pretends you don't exist, just to play along with your little illusion.

-You collect dead windowsill flies.

-Everytime the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got its wings!"

-You like cats. Especially with mayo.

-You scream "I've got a knife!" to people who try to sell you things.

-You scream "I've got a knife!" to people at your family reunion.

-You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island, because they weren't rescued.

-You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.

-Whenever you listen to the radio, the music sounds backwards.

-You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.

-You wake up each morning and find yourself sitting on your head in the middle of your front lawn.

-Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched on it, and you tell him it's for security reasons.

-Melba toast excites you.

-When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another room to tell him, because "the napkins have ears."

-You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.

-Every time you see the commercial for the Hair Club For Men, you think to yourself, "I think I'll kill the pope today."

-You call up random people and ask if you can borrow their dog, just for a few minutes.

-Your main goal in life is to become the president of Bulemia.

-Nearly everything you say involves the word, "P-toing!"

-You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.

-You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a stalk.

-You think that exploding wouldn't be so bad, once you got used to it.

-You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity. (cough)

-People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights as a boysenberry.

[Kira]

You think that exploding wouldn't be so bad, once you got used to it.

-Your friends tell you that you have been acting strange lately, and then you hit them several times with a sledgehammer.

very funny Al

Trouble is I can agree with nearly all of them...

[HD]

You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.

Well I have meaningful conversations with the wall does this mean I am insane??

[emmy]

-You scream "I've got a knife!" to people who try to sell you things.

Not quite, but give me a few more months!!

[Loonboy]

Your father pretends you don't exist, just to play along with your little illusion.

You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a stalk

You scream "I've got a knife!" to people who try to sell you things

[dev]

unfortunately my lady doc never asked me to yell ahh....

..........nor she helped me!

[FreyKade]

-Your friends tell you that you have been acting strange lately, and then you hit them several times with a sledgehammer.

-Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.

-Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it.

-You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting fire to his lawn decorations.

-Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.

-People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.

-You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge.

-You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.

-You scream "I've got a knife!" to people who try to sell you things.

-When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another room to tell him, because "the napkins have ears."

-You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.

-You call up random people and ask if you can borrow their dog, just for a few minutes.

-You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.

-You think that exploding wouldn't be so bad, once you got used to it.

-You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity. -People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights as a boysenberry.

So im insane.....who cares...p'toing, oh by the way my toaster and kettle say hi