smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 #1 Share Posted November 25, 2012 like most people i'm going through a lot of crap in my life right now. it doesn't matter what i'm doing i feel fine like i can deal with the issues until i get home. the second i'm in the door the urge to harm myself is immence. i know the place is "haunted" the spirit has been with me since childhood, everyone who i have ever lived with has claimed to see him and feel his presence. fred as i call him has always kept an eye on things if that makes sense, will watch visitors until he's sure about them has always been helpful. but someone i live with is scared of him so on their behalf i asked fred if he could go stay in the camper instead. after that the person i live with has seen or heard nothing and yet the second i'm in the door the images of the various ways i could kill myself flood through my head. death doesn't scare me it happens to us all but the feelings i get when i get home really has me worried. i'm a big strong guy but i don't know if i can stay this strong for much longer. can anyone help?.. and moving is NOT an option at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGirl Posted November 25, 2012 #2 Share Posted November 25, 2012 like most people i'm going through a lot of crap in my life right now. it doesn't matter what i'm doing i feel fine like i can deal with the issues until i get home. the second i'm in the door the urge to harm myself is immence. i know the place is "haunted" the spirit has been with me since childhood, everyone who i have ever lived with has claimed to see him and feel his presence. fred as i call him has always kept an eye on things if that makes sense, will watch visitors until he's sure about them has always been helpful. but someone i live with is scared of him so on their behalf i asked fred if he could go stay in the camper instead. after that the person i live with has seen or heard nothing and yet the second i'm in the door the images of the various ways i could kill myself flood through my head. death doesn't scare me it happens to us all but the feelings i get when i get home really has me worried. i'm a big strong guy but i don't know if i can stay this strong for much longer. can anyone help?.. and moving is NOT an option at this point. you know what? if all this crap was happening to me moving would be the number one option. the fact that you state this emphatically even though you claim all this paranormal stuff is happening that you cannot control and is affecting your ability to rationalize (feel like hurting yourself every time you go home???) tells me you are not being truthful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #3 Share Posted November 25, 2012 i am being 100% truthful. what point is there in lying and making myself look weak? i simply can't move because i cannot afford to move if u must know. and i'm not sure it's the house anyway. when i asked fred to leave the feelings started that day. believe me i would much rather have this be some mental problem then my reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGirl Posted November 25, 2012 #4 Share Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) i am being 100% truthful. what point is there in lying and making myself look weak? i simply can't move because i cannot afford to move if u must know. and i'm not sure it's the house anyway. when i asked fred to leave the feelings started that day. believe me i would much rather have this be some mental problem then my reality. if this is so, have you made an effort to see a professional about this problem? edit to add: seems to me that if you are in danger of hurting yourself (due to unseen forces) you cannot afford NOT to move Edited November 25, 2012 by JGirl 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #5 Share Posted November 25, 2012 i have tried to seek help but once i get to the appointment my head is clear i can think straight and i have no harmful thoughts. being what i always thought as a rational person i would see no point in blowing the little money i have on a headshrinker when i can pay my light bill instead. had the electric company by to test the wires and stuff make sure nothing simple like that is the problem. fred has been with me for almost 25 years now and not once have i ever asked him to leave me alone i always felt "safe". now it seems like the place i grew up in my childhood home (where i currently live) i'm not safe..wtf? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #6 Share Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) i'm on this site almost eveyday altho this is my first post i'm not one of those "lets make up a story and see what happens" kinda people. i served my country, i know fear, can handle most issues without blinking but this really scares me Edited November 25, 2012 by smokedog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted November 25, 2012 #7 Share Posted November 25, 2012 whats the history of fred and why did you ask him to leave in the first place? i can understand why i wouldnt want a spirit in my house but just wanted to hear your perspective for more info. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted November 25, 2012 #8 Share Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) If you only have these feelings in the home,it,can be somehow home is associated with sadness and hopeless ness for you,OR ,something is there influencing you . For the former ,you need to search yourself ,and see if this is true ,and just be above it ,or go talk to someone about it . If its the latter ,cleanse the home ,or move . Edited November 25, 2012 by Simbi Laveau 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #9 Share Posted November 25, 2012 from what my mom tells me fred came from the house my step-grandma's brothers and sister lived in when i was young (5 or 6). it was an old old house even back then. we used to go and visit and stayed the night a few times. i slept in the attic which was converted to a bedroom. ma says she would come check on me and i would be laughing and playing with someone altho i remember nothing about this. after one of the uncles died in the house the only time we went back was to help clear it out. i was 13. mom and dad reminded me about fred as a joke and i being skeptic at that time invited my friend home with us just playing around. well he came. and has been with me ever since. aunts uncles friends gf's my ex fiancee my kids everyone who has spent any decent amount of time over here has seen him. my sister had some problems growing up acted up a lot and everytime she would try and do something to me something twice as worse would happen to her. i asked fred to leave cause my roommate was getting scared.. he tends to stand in the doorway at night and "watch u sleep" as she puts it.he has never harmed anyone and i always took it as he was just keeping an eye out on me on us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGirl Posted November 25, 2012 #10 Share Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) two of your statements: "i have tried to seek help but once i get to the appointment my head is clear i can think straight and i have no harmful thoughts. being what i always thought as a rational person i would see no point in blowing the little money i have on a headshrinker when i can pay my light bill instead" "i served my country, i know fear, can handle most issues without blinking but this really scares me" do you see what's wrong here? Edited November 25, 2012 by JGirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted November 25, 2012 #11 Share Posted November 25, 2012 It sounds like Fred was protecting the house .Something else is giving you the bad images .Ask Fred to come back,and just not reveal himself to your frightened party . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted November 25, 2012 #12 Share Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) like most people i'm going through a lot of crap in my life right now. it doesn't matter what i'm doing i feel fine like i can deal with the issues until i get home. the second i'm in the door the urge to harm myself is immence. i know the place is "haunted" the spirit has been with me since childhood, everyone who i have ever lived with has claimed to see him and feel his presence. fred as i call him has always kept an eye on things if that makes sense, will watch visitors until he's sure about them has always been helpful. but someone i live with is scared of him so on their behalf i asked fred if he could go stay in the camper instead. after that the person i live with has seen or heard nothing and yet the second i'm in the door the images of the various ways i could kill myself flood through my head. death doesn't scare me it happens to us all but the feelings i get when i get home really has me worried. i'm a big strong guy but i don't know if i can stay this strong for much longer. can anyone help?.. and moving is NOT an option at this point. if it gets that bad, why can`t you go and stay in the camper. I know I would if being in the house made me suicidal, and see if living away from the house makes you feel any different. Edited November 25, 2012 by freetoroam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted November 25, 2012 #13 Share Posted November 25, 2012 maybe you could apoligise to fred Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #14 Share Posted November 25, 2012 free- the camper is actually a piece of junk that i'm fixing. i would freeze my butt off if i stayed in there. simbi- i have thought about this lots of times. but i made a promise to a friend that i would do what they asked and my morals the values instilled in me growing up won't let me go behind her back and do this, she is very scared of him for some reason. JGirl- i fail to see ur point.. my service had nothing to do with this. i don't have ptsd i'm a fully functioning hard working hard studying person. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGirl Posted November 25, 2012 #15 Share Posted November 25, 2012 free- the camper is actually a piece of junk that i'm fixing. i would freeze my butt off if i stayed in there. simbi- i have thought about this lots of times. but i made a promise to a friend that i would do what they asked and my morals the values instilled in me growing up won't let me go behind her back and do this, she is very scared of him for some reason. JGirl- i fail to see ur point.. my service had nothing to do with this. i don't have ptsd i'm a fully functioning hard working hard studying person. i didn't suggest your service has anything to do with it. those two statements contradict one another. that is what i'm pointing out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #16 Share Posted November 25, 2012 JGirl- oh ok i see ur point now. what scares me the most is not having control over this. personally i think killing urself is cowardly and it's something i'm hugely against.. until i get home. to what should be my happy place. then the thoughts rush back into my head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashotep Posted November 25, 2012 #17 Share Posted November 25, 2012 Simbi has a point, Fred could of been protecting the house. He could be doing this because he is mad at you too. Since Fred can follow you moving might not help. Might seek help from someone that can sense what is there and know how to run it off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted November 25, 2012 #18 Share Posted November 25, 2012 free- the camper is actually a piece of junk that i'm fixing. i would freeze my butt off if i stayed in there. But it was good enough for Fred, (joke) put a log burner in there, with flue obviously, we put one on our boat, now it gets too warm sometimes, but we can`t complain. At the end of the day, it may not be the Ritz, but if its water tight then its still somewhere to go, its got to be safer than going somewhere which makes you feel suicidal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #19 Share Posted November 25, 2012 as weird as this sounds i don't want fred gone. i truly believe he was helping me keeping an eye on me. i haven't the foggiest clue on who i would ask for help. live in a small place and i'm not religious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #20 Share Posted November 25, 2012 But it was good enough for Fred, (joke) put a log burner in there, with flue obviously, we put one on our boat, now it gets too warm sometimes, but we can`t complain. At the end of the day, it may not be the Ritz, but if its water tight then its still somewhere to go, its got to be safer than going somewhere which makes you feel suicidal. it's missing the floor at the moment otherwise i'd hitch it up and be on the road far away from here.. with fred in tow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted November 25, 2012 #21 Share Posted November 25, 2012 it's missing the floor at the moment otherwise i'd hitch it up and be on the road far away from here.. with fred in tow Sounds like you might be better off selling it for scrap, maybe you could use the money to put towards a deposit. Is the house you live in now rented or yours? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #22 Share Posted November 25, 2012 it's rented. the camper was a part of happier times in my life so thats y i'm fixing it instead of scraping it. my labour of love.. and also my excuse to get outta the house more often Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted November 25, 2012 #23 Share Posted November 25, 2012 it's rented. the camper was a part of happier times in my life so thats y i'm fixing it instead of scraping it. my labour of love.. and also my excuse to get outta the house more often you say " i know the place is "haunted" the spirit has been with me since childhood, everyone who i have ever lived with has claimed to see him and feel his presence" you say the place is haunted, so it appears you have lived in that house since you were little, then if eveyone knows about it, why not speak to your landlord, they may have something to say about it.. but I am confused in what you have put there, you say "i have ever lived with", does this mean in that house or in other houses? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #24 Share Posted November 25, 2012 other houses. i moved away for ten years, spent time overseas and stated to rent this place from my folks when i came back. and obviously they have had experiences with him as i was growing up. but in the mean time fred has always followed. i have dear friends who i love and they love me but absolutely refused to stay with me when they came to visit.. and this was in a place over 1200 km from where i am now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokedog Posted November 25, 2012 Author #25 Share Posted November 25, 2012 maybe a better way to put it is i'm haunted not this place. but this is the only place the negative thoughts have affected me so natually one would assume its the place. but the more i think about it and the more i read from folks like urself maybe its me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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