Why Not Apologizing Makes You Feel Better

[JC2]

Doing the right thing for the right reasons is reason itself, doing the wrong thing for the right reasons only causes more reasons to then do the right thing, save yourself time by just doing what’s right in the first-place and save us all a lot of heart ache and pain, just be good it's that simple!

[nothinglizx2]

yes to err is human, but we must learn how to become more than human. Not wear it as some kind of badge of honor or merit. It is not, for we have lost much of the use of our brain through the error in being human, we were meant for so much more.

[George Botha]

There are some fairly involved types of apology situations, such as apologizing for unfaithfulness (for instance: was it just harmless flirting or was it something more deliberate?).

However, two main types of apology are generally encountered. Firstly, apologizing for misdemeanours which are obviously one’s own fault such as lying, stealing or just taking liberties with rights and privileges. Secondly, apologizing for losing one’s temper, being harsh or acting discourteously.

One would be downright foolish not to apologize for the first type.

The second type is a lot more complex. In a lot of cases even an independent observer might concede that one had reason to lose one’s temper, or that acting discourteously was the eventual involuntary reaction to a long-repressed annoyance with someone who persistently takes advantage in subtle or opportunistic ways.

Although these reactions might be considered justifiable in their human nature, what they have in common in the final analysis is that they weaken the social and psychological standing of their enactor (it is always better to kill with a smile than to rant like a frantic ant). Better to make a joke than to hurt people’s pride (for instance “Sorry for interrupting your hard work” to a slack co-worker keeping others out of work with idle talk).

Nobody is perfect, and even the most restrained of us sometimes lose our temper after a long day or a short night. There is also a school of thought that believes getting angry once in a while fulfils the important and quite necessary purpose of putting pushy people right back into their place.

Whether or not the losing of temper is due to temporary weakness or out of necessity, it is ALWAYS better to apologize for it afterward. Contrary to popular belief, the willingness to apologize is not a weakness, but shows self-confidence and courage.

The ability to apologize appropriately is therefore a strength, which commands respect and promotes self-respect in the bigger picture and in the long run. It also reinforces emotional trust. It is a victory for the super-ego and even a boost for the childish little ego once properly understood.

[libstaK]

There are alot of things in life that I wish I could go back and apologize for. Not apologizing hasn't made me feel better, not one bit. Finding a way to broach the subject and apologize after the fact is not always as straightforward as we would like, definitely an ego/pride issue but also an "opening old wounds" issue with people who will shrug it off for the sake of their own pride with a "meh, don't even think about it" or some such. I don't understand how someone can feel good or "better" when they know they are wrong but don't own up to it, that makes no sense.

[Grandpa Greenman]

If you want to have friends one needs to learn to apologize. I value my friends and family if have wronged them I have no problem with apologizing. I even apologize to my dog or cat if I step on them and they seem to understand it. I don't generally a apologize if I don't see I am done wrong, but I have been know to say "I am sorry, I guess I expected more from you than you are able to give." That usually opens the door for communication or ends the friendship. Either way I had the last word.

[DigitalDreamer]

If you want to have friends one needs to learn to apologize. I value my friends and family if have wronged them I have no problem with apologizing. I even apologize to my dog or cat if I step on them and they seem to understand it. I don't generally a apologize if I don't see I am done wrong, but I have been know to say "I am sorry, I guess I expected more from you than you are able to give." That usually opens the door for communication or ends the friendship. Either way I had the last word.

Pretty egotistical to center your verbal interactions around whether or not you got the last word

[nosuchthing]

If the topic title is true than I must be in the minority. I generally find that when I do something I recognize as being "wrong" to another person it will eat away at me until I apologize for my actions. That's not to say I always apologize, but more often then not, when I don't apologize, it's for reasoning that has nothing to do with me feeling better for not doing so. I think in those circumstances when I don't it's because I've convinced myself it would only bring about problems that won't exist if I just keep my mouth shut. But even then, that's on occasions where I've done something wrong, but no one else happens to know about.

When I know I was in the wrong in a confrontation with another, once a bit of time passes I know I feel better once I do approach them and apologize for my behavior - even if I feel they may have done some foolish things themselves.