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How to make a Hollywood Movie


StarMountainKid

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Producer to director: ‘We’re making a new movie, I want you to direct.”

Director: “Okay, who’s starring?”

Producer: “It doesn’t matter; we’ll get a girl and a boy with pretty faces.”

Director: “Yes, but can they act?”

“Producer: “Of course they can’t act. It doesn’t matter as long as they look good on screen.”

Director: “I see. Is the script good?”

Producer: “It sucks, but that doesn’t matter either, these people can’t act, remember?”

Director: “So…even if the script was great they'd screw it up anyway, right?

Producer: “Right. As long as there’s a lot of action and gooey love scenes, who cares about anything else?”

Director: “Got it. You think it’ll be a hit?”

Producer: “How can it miss? We have all the ingredients necessary.

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Things that are needed to make a great Hollywood Movie:

1. Morgan Freeman

2. Morgan Freeman

3. Extra units of equipment because when Morgan Freeman uses them they turn to bars of gold.

Oh.. wait.. the OP only said, '..to make a Hollywood movie.'

In that case:

1. CGI

2. Retired actor voice-overs

3. CGI

Kind Regards ;)

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~makes notes .... what are "gooey love scenes" ? :unsure2:

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~makes notes .... what are "gooey love scenes" ? :unsure2:

goo·ey

Adjective

  • Soft and sticky.
  • Mawkishly sentimental.

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Phase 1 - Collect underpants.

Phase 2 - ?

Phase 3 - Profit.

-South Park, Underpants Gnomes.

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goo·ey

Adjective

  • Soft and sticky.
  • Mawkishly sentimental.

Tom and Penelope et Vanilla Sky >?

that was a nice one that one

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My favorite movie about movie making is "Chump Change"... A really quirky comedy... It shows (perhaps with a bit of exaggeration) just how weird the Hollywood movie making process is...

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goo·ey

Adjective

  • Soft and sticky.
  • Mawkishly sentimental.

I'm glad you posted that before I got here. What I was going to say may have resulted in a ban. :blush:

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