How i went from darkness to Inner peace

[LostSouls7]

So here is my story.

When I was young I was a happy child with a magical imagination and unlimited dreams.

After watching my father die at a young age I felt the world was a dark and evil place.

It's normal I felt angry hate and darkness. As a teen I became obsessed with death,

darkness, suicide and evil. I hated myself and everything around me.

As I got older that phase of my life faded. But it was someone I meet along the way in particular who told me i should get rid of my dark persona and imagery.. and how i attracted negative energy to me.

From there I met someone I fell in love with.. and my soul started to change.

Through the years I read and learn about the mind, soul, read about the occult. How evil secretly runs the world.

I had a phase when I let all this Illuminati conspiracy stuff control my life. But I stopped listening to doom and gloom forecasters or prophets. No one knows the future for certain.... I believe we have the power to forge our own destiny.

Now I am older and feel good everyday. I am fascinated by Bioluminting things, Like water and mushrooms that glow by natures power. I stopped eating the frozen and fast good, and drinking heavy. When I was sad and lost I drank myself to sleep all the time.. trying to escape life.

But now My mind is more clear..What changed my world is I stopped letting negative people hold me down. People seems bored and unhappy at times... So I find other like minded ones to talk and share ideas and concepts in life.

I am deep into music, art, poetry writing, and acting. I work in my gardens and make them expand... I find inner peace there. I meditate everyday and work towards my goals. I have found inner peace for the first time in my life. I have gone from darkness to inner peace and a bright glow...

I almost let my angry and depression let me go into darkness forever.

But now I see life is beautiful... and I see everyday as magical... I learn and discover never things everyday... every herbal tea or potions i drink food I eat.. makes me healthy powerful and happy...

For the first time in life I know my destiny... and have found what I think many people seek..

inner peace.. in an imperfect world.

I consider myself a modern Wizard.. and I plan to write books, websites, and do online pod casts about what I learn to help people have happier and magical lives. All info will be free... and online. However I will be selling my glowing toys.. and magic glowing mushrooms

Thank you. Please tell me what you think...

[libstaK]

I am very happy for you and your discoveries have given you great peace and hope.

I believe your father would be pleased his life was not lived in vain as you are writing a legacy and heritage for him to be proud of within your own life. I wish you joy and serenity.

[ReaperS_ParadoX]

I hear you man, my life was and still is hard as all hell at times, my dad never stuck around long enough I think the last time I saw him was when I was six years old, I'm now 25 going on 26. I have a strong group of women in my life, my mom ( even though I cant stand her husband ), my grandma, and my aunts, a few uncles that I can actually tolerate. But I had a disease when I was younger that left me in aggravating pain more than half of the time. I also have extremely bad migraines, My nights are filled with either insomnia or the most horrific graphic dreams. Iv been on anti - depressants and they made me feel like ish so I'm not on them anymore. I found Marihuana works well for depression and migraines ( I have a medical card for it ) But I try and keep my head up keep moving forward. I also have a love for mushrooms and all plants pretty much I went to school for botany

[LostSouls7]

I hear you man, my life was and still is hard as all hell at times, my dad never stuck around long enough I think the last time I saw him was when I was six years old, I'm now 25 going on 26. I have a strong group of women in my life, my mom ( even though I cant stand her husband ), my grandma, and my aunts, a few uncles that I can actually tolerate. But I had a disease when I was younger that left me in aggravating pain more than half of the time. I also have extremely bad migraines, My nights are filled with either insomnia or the most horrific graphic dreams. Iv been on anti - depressants and they made me feel like ish so I'm not on them anymore. I found Marihuana works well for depression and migraines ( I have a medical card for it ) But I try and keep my head up keep moving forward. I also have a love for mushrooms and all plants pretty much I went to school for botany

Wow man yeah it's hard without a father especially when they leave young. His death was no one fault.

But my anger and darkness back then made me stay on the darkside for some years.

I always had my mom, aunt, and cousins around to help me out.

I also met some special people and friends along the way to help me get out of my darkness.

I'm sorry to hear about your illness. I also was born with a genetic imperfection in the DNA.

And caused me heart probs and I almost died at age 23 after heart surgery.

I believe surviving that made me stronger.. and now I must fullfill my destiny on earth..

Yes mary jane is a very magical and relaxing herb.

Also if you want to drink a tea for sleeping Verbena leaves relax you..

they also make a cool.. "peace" eat that relax you and make you feel chilled out

Yes my friend keep your head up and moving foward...

we can overcome anything... and accomplish whatever we put our mind to!

If you love mushrooms you will love the Bioluminating ones...

they glow in the dark.. but natural methods..

but they pretty cool cause they seem like something out of a fantasy book.

I plan to grow them in my garden..

and sell them to people once I start growing them all over..

[LostSouls7]

I am very happy for you and your discoveries have given you great peace and hope.

I believe your father would be pleased his life was not lived in vain as you are writing a legacy and heritage for him to be proud of within your own life. I wish you joy and serenity.

Thank you Yes everyday I learn more... and I have hope and peace now.

I hope he will be proud of what I do here on earth. So many are working for evil and darkness.

I think some of us should work for good as well Thanks wish you joy and serenity as well.

[ReaperS_ParadoX]

Wow man yeah it's hard without a father especially when they leave young. His death was no one fault.

But my anger and darkness back then made me stay on the darkside for some years.

I always had my mom, aunt, and cousins around to help me out.

I also met some special people and friends along the way to help me get out of my darkness.

I'm sorry to hear about your illness. I also was born with a genetic imperfection in the DNA.

And caused me heart probs and I almost died at age 23 after heart surgery.

I believe surviving that made me stronger.. and now I must fullfill my destiny on earth..

Yes mary jane is a very magical and relaxing herb.

Also if you want to drink a tea for sleeping Verbena leaves relax you..

they also make a cool.. "peace" eat that relax you and make you feel chilled out

Yes my friend keep your head up and moving foward...

we can overcome anything... and accomplish whatever we put our mind to!

If you love mushrooms you will love the Bioluminating ones...

they glow in the dark.. but natural methods..

but they pretty cool cause they seem like something out of a fantasy book.

I plan to grow them in my garden..

and sell them to people once I start growing them all over..

yeah because of my sickness Iv almost died twice, because I got Pneumonia like 3 times and 2 times it was pretty severe, they even had to put me into a coma like state because it was so painful. LOL technically I'm probably not even supposed to be here, my family is always like whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and things will get easier. All i could think whenever they said that is " I doubt it". But yeah Iv actually seen glowing mushrooms a couple of times and there down right amazing. I haven't really run into anything that marihuana cant tackle to the ground, its my best friend when it comes to migraines and other pains. I use to use it for sleep to but they haven't gotten the strain in that helps me to sleep. The guy said they should have it soon though

Edited June 29, 2013 by R4z3rsPar4d0x

[Mindscanner]

I am so happy for you and well done!

I too had a similar downward spiral when it comes to life and emotion on losing my mother, as she didn't deserve to die too fast, which is on her 48. It took me about 10 years to finally got over the whole phase of the emotions, as learning to accept how it meant to be in life helped me to move on. Having an understanding partner is always a bonus, that's when my life got brighter. When I broke up with him it was like the turmoil in my life start rumbling to pieces, I could barely get up and face the life I was in, I was hiding in the darkness full of hate and pain in me, I even almost got hit by a car when I crossed the road without looking around as my mind was all over the place.

This time was even worst than losing my mother, because I was like being an addict to this guy and when he ditched me and got new lover, he left me in the dark hole all alone away from friends who could support me, and I didn't deserve it at all. I think he was the most cruelest human being I have ever encountered.

For few days I couldn't stop my self from crying neither could sleep, I was so tired one night and prayed to God to just help me sleep, so I could face the next day. Within 10 minutes or so, some phenomena happened almost like God listening to me and I felt so unbelievably calm, almost like, I totally forgot how to cry but peaceful feeling. There's when I know that God exist, because something telling me inside, that I had to face this kind of scenario to understand life in deeper meaning. As nothing is permanent in this life, and life is full of puzzles and it's all up to us how to work the puzzle into a big picture. When I was in the darkness I never let my self gotten too deep in misery to finally lost my soul, somehow there is amazing free will in me, that keep pulling me back up. When I faced the darkness I do it with sober mind, because by using substance or alcohol could distort your mind and feeling the same after few days in some cases could be worst. I think my strength has been tested and am surely way pass the exam of life .There are of course ups and down moment in life, how I channelize the negativity now is just simply do meditation or have time for my self to work on the music and it has been the best therapy ever. Also knowing what's going on in the world could easily influence your emotion, but at least I see the big picture, and help others who are still blinded in seeing it. Now I am more awake than ever and keep at it and try to tackle negativity from others who try to influent me in anyway, by simply don't meet this sort of people. My big picture revealed after all those years is to share the love to others, don't be afraid of living in simplicity and living in harmony with other living being.

Edited July 4, 2013 by Mindscanner