j6p Posted February 19, 2003 #1 Share Posted February 19, 2003 Actual Courtroom Statements cntd... Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August eighth? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ____________________________________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Posted February 19, 2003 #2 Share Posted February 19, 2003 Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Council of Nine Posted February 19, 2003 #3 Share Posted February 19, 2003 I loved the last one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Althalus Posted February 19, 2003 #4 Share Posted February 19, 2003 all of these are funny, (and as i don't want to have to wright them all out i'll just leave it at that.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Posted February 19, 2003 #5 Share Posted February 19, 2003 Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August eighth? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? Hmmm a typical Csa Question that...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo_Jones Posted February 19, 2003 #6 Share Posted February 19, 2003 Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. DOH!!!!! Soooo Funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceyKC Posted February 19, 2003 #7 Share Posted February 19, 2003 Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. I have to admit that one was my favorite too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HD Posted February 19, 2003 #8 Share Posted February 19, 2003 Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. Loved that one and this one:- Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August eighth? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted February 19, 2003 #9 Share Posted February 19, 2003 Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. That was hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreyKade Posted February 20, 2003 #10 Share Posted February 20, 2003 Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. !Quality! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albaqwerty Posted February 20, 2003 #11 Share Posted February 20, 2003 All brilliant and priceless!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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