Big Bad Voodoo Posted July 29, 2013 #26 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Whatever you say can and will be used against you. My number one rule about dating. Speak less. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 29, 2013 #27 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Whatever you say can and will be used against you. My number one rule about dating. Speak less. agreed, girls are extreamly sensitive and will gather their first impression of you by one how you prersent your self and 2 the first conversation they have with you, if you fail one or both your done. Awwwww the thrill of the hunt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yamato Posted July 29, 2013 #28 Share Posted July 29, 2013 I'm one of those atheists that are moral, kind and considerate. What would happen if I went out with a woman who isn't just a nominal Christian but a hardcore Bible teacher and believes everyone needs Jesus? She was surprised by my generosity and "good character" and almost everything about me. We're both runners and she told me she needed to lose some weight for the marathon in October. Since we live pretty close to each other, I suggested we go on some runs together and that she'll get rid of that weight in no time. Are I nice? Remember that thought. I found that unlike Jewish women I've gone out with, she wouldn't even consider discussing alternate interpretations of anything in the Bible. For example I brought up 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, a verse which I hate because it pretty much says that women should keep their mouths shut in church and ask their husbands after church if their little heads didn't get something. She claimed that the "original Hebrew" didn't specify gender so it's not against women. I thought that since Corinth is a Greek city that Paul had written this in Koine Greek but I wasn't sure so I didn't bring that up. I think Wikipedia says I'm right. I also couldn't find anything that claimed 1 Corinthians 14:34 wasn't gender-specific although I have found some sites that try to minimize the anti-women tone of the many other places in the Bible (Ephesians, Collosians, Titus, 1 Timothy, 1 Peter) that require Christian women to submit to their husbands. I think they all fail. Anyway, she was so impressed with me that she posted this on her Facebook page: "Interesting date with an atheist, I didn't even burst into flames and he will help me move. I really had fun. We both agreed to be friends as long as both of us don't convert each other, oh and he is so honest, I would look hotter when I lose weight. Most honest fun with a guy in a long time. You rock <my name>, lol." Can you guess what happened next? Two hours later I got a text from her: "We shouldn't be friends. You were rude to offer to help me lose weight." WTF? I'm guessing that her hardcore Christian friends on Facebook were horrified by her positive statements about an atheist and they quickly convinced her that I'm actually an awful man. Defining yourself as a member of a group begs the process of group-think mentality. Her comment on Facebook put you in a group before she said anything else about you. Of course her friends are going to judge you based on the only thing they know about you. She should judge her date with you based on YOU the person, not some group you identify with. As for her weight, never agree with a woman that she ought/could/should lose some weight. Look at her, listen to her, don't make her weight a subject of conversation. That's a romance killer on any first date. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeWitz Posted July 30, 2013 #29 Share Posted July 30, 2013 indeed Kiss and leave, don't tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lava_Lady Posted July 30, 2013 #30 Share Posted July 30, 2013 no lol i do work out everyday though im 5"11 and 175 pounds, i told my wife on our first date that she had a bubble but, mind you shes 100 pounds but 25 of it is in the butt! and i love it! im a pig i know my bad lol im just honest, people are to sensitive and some neglect to remember that bigger ladies were what was concidered good looking in the 50's and on i think, correct me if im wrong lol LOL! You are too funny! As long as she's ok with your comment. And like I said, one should always go for a partner they are already satisfied with so as not to expect them to change; so, good on you for loving who she is and what she looks like right now! And then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 30, 2013 #31 Share Posted July 30, 2013 LOL! You are too funny! As long as she's ok with your comment. And like I said, one should always go for a partner they are already satisfied with so as not to expect them to change; so, good on you for loving who she is and what she looks like right now! And then. as long as she keeps the butt.....-_- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purplos Posted July 30, 2013 #32 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Maybe she realized the date was a part of some experiment you were conducting and decided she didn't want to participate... It looks like you purposefully went out with a woman you knew you weren't compatible with just to find out what happened and to discuss religion from opposing viewpoints... and then treated her with a rather personal lack of tact. I'm not sure where "kind and considerate" and honest come into that exactly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 30, 2013 #33 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Maybe she realized the date was a part of some experiment you were conducting and decided she didn't want to participate... It looks like you purposefully went out with a woman you knew you weren't compatible with just to find out what happened and to discuss religion from opposing viewpoints... and then treated her with a rather personal lack of tact. I'm not sure where "kind and considerate" and honest come into that exactly... some times 2 oposites can be the happiest couple you have ever seen, some do choose to look past all the social standards on what is acceptable and they take a risk and end up happy for the rest of their lives, are you going to tell me you were 100% compatible with everyone you have been with or saught after? Maybe she realized the date was a part of some experiment you were conducting and decided she didn't want to participate... It looks like you purposefully went out with a woman you knew you weren't compatible with just to find out what happened and to discuss religion from opposing viewpoints... and then treated her with a rather personal lack of tact. I'm not sure where "kind and considerate" and honest come into that exactly... and i really am not trying to be rude i personally find this post should not have been posted at all, personal lives should not be posted in the forums, status is acceptible but not forums please dont turn UM into face book XD im a status monger on here though i admit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purplos Posted July 30, 2013 #34 Share Posted July 30, 2013 I wonder if the OP had permission to post the woman's Facebook status on this site... Doubtful. And I'm not saying people have to be 100% compatible, but if you know going in that there is one really big way you will never, ever mesh... why bother? Seems like it would just cause stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 30, 2013 #35 Share Posted July 30, 2013 I wonder if the OP had permission to post the woman's Facebook status on this site... Doubtful. And I'm not saying people have to be 100% compatible, but if you know going in that there is one really big way you will never, ever mesh... why bother? Seems like it would just cause stress. yeah your right, and i agree as to the personal facebook post, im suprised saru to sink some claws into that one, no ones personal life should be distributed amongst public forums, mind you it was her status and made public as well, could be a loop hole Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Crane Feather Posted July 30, 2013 #36 Share Posted July 30, 2013 Hahahaha you sir have a lot I learn about Women. She was fishing and you hooked a boot on her line. I once saw this nice young man explaining to this cute young cashier about his job. He was in his uniform as a prison guard explaining that he has a good job for life, a great salary, good benefits, contributing to society. She was all smiles and obviously interested. I as thinking... Good job there guy she is putty in your hands, then as he was explaining his job and she was batting her eyes he goes of on a tangent.. "Well sometimes those prisoners can get nasty and try to bite and spit on you if hey have aids or if they don't like you they can send people after your family, so you have to be careful" .... you should have seen how fast her face changes and contorted a bit. I about smacked myself right there in line for a latte. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beckys_Mom Posted July 30, 2013 #37 Share Posted July 30, 2013 yeah your right, and i agree as to the personal facebook post, im suprised saru to sink some claws into that one, no ones personal life should be distributed amongst public forums, mind you it was her status and made public as well, could be a loop hole I don't think Saru can do much if it is not linked to UM.. He most likely could if she was a UMer and reported it? I don't know... Even with that, he shouldn't have posted up her message, all he had to do was, tell us why he thinks she dumped him.. I think this guy ( in the OP ) is just bit frustrated over dating a nice girl, and it panned out like that... Many guys do act the same, they can never read between the lines.. Chances are, she told her friends what he said about him offering to help her loose weight, they informed her that was rude, and that was it, over... These things happen all the time ...Some guys just don't know when to be a bit more tactful... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 30, 2013 #38 Share Posted July 30, 2013 like i said i told my wife she had a bubble butt and i loved it! she was hooked since Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lava_Lady Posted July 30, 2013 #39 Share Posted July 30, 2013 like i said i told my wife she had a bubble butt and i loved it! she was hooked since haha! I'm sure you have other redeeming qualities she loves besides your honest proclamation of loving her bubble butt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 30, 2013 #40 Share Posted July 30, 2013 haha! I'm sure you have other redeeming qualities she loves besides your honest proclamation of loving her bubble butt! its all about the bubble butt, lol and the blue eyes and long honey colored hair and her mentality is that of a guys so i guess i was the one that was hooked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scowl Posted July 31, 2013 Author #41 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Thanks for all the insight, folks. She's now sending me unsolicited texts full of obscenities which make me feel she's not a good representative of the Christian faith. I shouldn't have assumed that she was so I don't hold her behavior as being Christian. She teaches Bible classes at a Christian university here but like anything you can be book smart but not be able to apply that knowledge to your life. I was hoping we could behave like adults but she doesn't seem interested in that. I pointed her to Ephesians 4:31-32 which is one of few verses in the New Testament I like since I believe everyone would be better off if they could find a way to lose their anger and bitterness and be kind to each other... and not send texts like "Here's a tip: Go **** yourself." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 31, 2013 #42 Share Posted July 31, 2013 for a non christian you sure know alot of passages and points to it......just saying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artaxerxes Posted July 31, 2013 #43 Share Posted July 31, 2013 "The tongue is an angry serpent. How great a fire is set by such a small match." I've been married for a little over 39 years. Know what the secret is? You never tell your wife or girlfriend she's fat and needs to lose weight. Change the subject. Art Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scowl Posted July 31, 2013 Author #44 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Maybe she realized the date was a part of some experiment you were conducting and decided she didn't want to participate... I don't think so because she did participate. She could have split any time. It looks like you purposefully went out with a woman you knew you weren't compatible with just to find out what happened and to discuss religion from opposing viewpoints... and then treated her with a rather personal lack of tact. I've gone out with Jewish women who, for some reason, have no problem with atheism. Not even their parents! The thing is that the date went just great, we had some brief religious discussions that went nowhere of course, but we parted friends and I was going to help her move. It wasn't until two hours later that she decided that I had been rude and in turn she became rude to me. That's why I suspect that in those two hours her Christian friends freaked over her positive Facebook post about me and she had to vilify me. I'm not sure where "kind and considerate" and honest come into that exactly... I believe that mature adults with differing faiths can get along and even have discussions about their faiths without getting angry or insulting. And that's what happened... until afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scowl Posted July 31, 2013 Author #45 Share Posted July 31, 2013 "The tongue is an angry serpent. How great a fire is set by such a small match." I've been married for a little over 39 years. Know what the secret is? You never tell your wife or girlfriend she's fat and needs to lose weight. Change the subject. Since we both run marathons, I suspect we view the weight and health issue differently than you and your wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 31, 2013 #46 Share Posted July 31, 2013 i dont know what to tell you, she could be bipolar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scowl Posted July 31, 2013 Author #47 Share Posted July 31, 2013 for a non christian you sure know alot of passages and points to it......just saying Thank you. I was raised Jewish and went to Hebrew school so I'm familiar with the Old Testament and have had many fun debates over it, although I admit I've forgotten a lot. I'm not so familiar with the New Testament but I've drudged through it a couple of times in recent years and have read a lot about its origins. You don't have to be a Christian to learn about Christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 31, 2013 #48 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Thank you. I was raised Jewish and went to Hebrew school so I'm familiar with the Old Testament and have had many fun debates over it, although I admit I've forgotten a lot. I'm not so familiar with the New Testament but I've drudged through it a couple of times in recent years and have read a lot about its origins. You don't have to be a Christian to learn about Christianity. i know this im an atheist, ive had a rough upbringing done some things im not proud of and my wife is 100% christian, trust me there is no talking them out of christianity they are die hard 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scowl Posted July 31, 2013 Author #49 Share Posted July 31, 2013 I don't think Saru can do much if it is not linked to UM.. He most likely could if she was a UMer and reported it? I don't know... Even with that, he shouldn't have posted up her message, all he had to do was, tell us why he thinks she dumped him.. Then my interpretation of her message would have been questioned. And it is dumping after just one date? Facebook has recently added a policy that if someone "tags" you in a post on their page, you will receive an email with the contents of that post. Like any email, the contents are now your property. I never would have cut and pasted it off of her Facebook page but an email is a different situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannin Posted July 31, 2013 #50 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Then my interpretation of her message would have been questioned. And it is dumping after just one date? Facebook has recently added a policy that if someone "tags" you in a post on their page, you will receive an email with the contents of that post. Like any email, the contents are now your property. I never would have cut and pasted it off of her Facebook page but an email is a different situation. ok dude i wasnt trying to flame you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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