Some Turkish women 'back beating'

[alis]

Where? I wanna work there!

When I was like 14 a gang of 7 or 8 girls my age 'attacked' me at a local mall. I was shocked, embarrassed, kinda thought I should be enjoying this what's wrong with me but it wasn't enjoyable. They just surrounded me, felt me all up and pretty much got most of my clothes off/unbuttoned. I couldn't figure out which one to struggle with, would turn my attention to one and 5 more pairs of hands would be somewhere else. Was awkward to say the least. Wish it would happen when I'm ready for it.

The other time I once again became an exception to another rule was when I was I think 17? Had an oversexed girlfriend, there were several times I 'did it' when I didn't want to. Two times in particular she pulled me down as I was trying to walk away, straddled me so I couldn't get up, and did her business. She was a track star and in the cheer squad and had these huge muscular legs... but she wore me out, and on those 2 occasions I actually felt violated. heh.

Then there was the time a woman chained me to an excorcise bike and set my back on fire after the leather whip broke... but I kinda wanted to be there that time...

I'm sure everyone wanted to know that. Am I being pointless again? Sorry.

sometimes a 'pointless story' like that is what is needed to lighten the atmosphere. im sorry celumnaz but there were some quite humourous parts to that story, however i hope you dont have nightmares about acts of violation, lol.

Edited October 27, 2004 by alis

[Babs]

Thanks Michelle. He didn't spell his word correctly. I guess gollum just wants to fight.

[Celumnaz]

lol, no nightmares... I laugh at myself constantly. In my case age definately brought some wisdom.

[Guest Lottie]

Thanks Michelle.    He didn't spell his word correctly. I guess gollum just wants to fight.

328011[/snapback]

Gollum did spell Misandrist correctly, oh and it means man hater.

[gollum]

I believe your vocation in life Babs is a wonderful cause. The domestic abuse that is dished out across the globe is a blight on all societies.

Domestic abuse, wether it be mental or physical is merely a window into the abusers lack of confidence, low self-esteem, and down right cowardice.

I think you should be proud to work with these abused souls who don't deserve to be treated any less than other human beings.

How dare someone lay a finger on you or I because you or I looked at them the wrong way?

How dare they belittle us for having put on a little weight or smiled at a nieghbour or said "hello" to the mailman.

You are right Babs, no-one should ever have to put up with any form of abuse.

But Babs, I have a question. Do you ever come across abused men in your line of work?

No doubt the answer is no.

I have a friend who was subjected to years of domestic abuse by his wife.

He would turn up to work on a Monday morning with scratches across his face, bruise on his back, sometimes the odd black eye.

He is 6'2" tall and is about 16 stone in weight.

She is 5'1" and about 8 stone in weight.

The word "Misandrist" means to hate men.

Could it be Babs, that in your years of working with abused women your views of men have been tainted or blighted by the amount of abuse that you see everyday?

Or can you honestly say that you are not affected by what you see and are totally proffesional in your views towards the opposite sex?

Thanks,

Mik.

[Nxt2Hvn]

I believe that anyone can get out of an abusive situation ... it takes strength.. which is what most people do not have enough of to get out of the situation.

And on what Gollum is saying about abused men.... I personally do not know any men who are physically abused... but I do know a poor man who is severely emotionally and mentally abused....

His wife is pure evil in my opinion... and is so hateful to him... he stays with her because he truly loves her I think... and loves his kids... he talks of leaving in one breath... and then in the next breath.. he is defending her... I sometimes think that type of abuse is worse than physical.

[gollum]

I believe that anyone can get out of an abusive situation ... it takes strength.. which is what most people do not have enough of to get out of the situation.

And on what Gollum is saying about abused men.... I personally do not know any men who are physically abused... but I do know a poor man who is severely emotionally and mentally abused....

His wife is pure evil in my opinion... and is so hateful to him... he stays with her because he truly loves her I think... and loves his kids... he talks of leaving in one breath... and then in the next breath.. he is defending her...  I sometimes think that type of abuse is worse than physical.

328017[/snapback]

My point exactly hunny

He never left her because he truely loved her and genuinely thought that, given time and a little patience, she would change. Alas it never happened.

How many times have you heard that story Babs. And before you get on your high horse, by using the word story, I'm not implying that it is not the whole truth.

Now he has to fight tooth and nail to see his son. Every week she comes up with one excuse after another to not allow him access. This breaks his heart and he has been close to suicide purely down to not being able to see his son.

there are "evil" women aswell as men in this world. If the cap fits........

[Babs]

I know what definition he's going for; he's come up with this before and I think he looks down on women.

Sorry, gollum, but you are wrong. I have come across men who have been abused, in fact a friend of mine has been, but as I say there are very few... and the terror involved with the ladies doesn't really exist in men's experience. (Not even close )

"...two aspects of violence that are crucial to understanding battering: the impact of the violence and it's function. According to statistics from the national surveys of domestic violence conducted by the New Hamphire Family Violence Research Center as well as research repported by Dr. Dina Vivian and her colleagues at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, male violence does much more damage than female violence: women are much more likely to be injured, much more likely to enter the hospital after being assaulted by their partner, and much more likely to be in need of medical care. Wives are much more likely to be killed by their husbands than the reverse; in fact, women in general are more likely to be killed by their male partners than by all other types of perpetrators combined.

Because men are generally physically stronger than women, and because they are often socialized to use violence as a method of control, it is hard to find women that are even capable of battering their husbands. However, battering is not just physical aggression: it is physical aggression with a purpose. The purpose of battering is to control, intimidate, and subjugate one's intimate partner through the use or the threat of physical aggression. Battering often involves injury, and in our sample, it was usually accompanied by fear on the part of the victim. As we shall show more more conclusively in chapter 3, fear is the force that provides battering with it's power. Injuries help sustain the fear."

..."When Men Batter Women" by Neil S. Jacobson, Ph.D....John M. Gottman, Ph.D.

So you see, it is a very different story for women. I think that some men are not educated on domestic violence, like Talon, for instance, he just looks up statistics like he does on all other topics. And some men like you, gollum, I think, are actually degrading toward women: in fact, I think, you subjugate your women.

gollum...I know that you are into some sort of armed forces and are trained to use violence, and we know the military, traditionally, has the 'highest' rate of domestic violence (and you can understand why ) so, I am not out of line, thinking as I do. And, of course, in the past, I am thinking about some of the things you have said, about me and women in general.

Granted, I might be wrong, but generally men who put down 'women for helping other women' are against the female sex.

Edited October 27, 2004 by Babs

[Babs]

Domestic violence is domestic terrorism.

We need to be educated on terrorism to save ourselves from the terrorists. I understand what the terrorists are doing because of my background in domestic violence and domestic terror. I have had personal experience and study; this isn't 'just' a profession; it is a mission. When you understand the dynamics of domestic violence you understand the terrorists (and their goals). That's why I have the views I have on terrorism.

Show no mercy for these b*stards! They will take what little they have and terrorize the world. (more with fear than anything else...).

[Babs]

gollum wrote:

...there are "evil" women as well as men in this world. If the cap fits...

...oh, come on, golly... give me a 'kissy pooh'.

Edited October 27, 2004 by Babs

[Guest Lottie]

I think that some men are not educated on domestic violence, like Talon, for instance, he just looks up statistics like he does on all other topics. And some men like you, gollum, I think, are actually degrading toward women: in fact, I think, you subjugate your women. 

....And then your case falls to pieces with statements like this...no wonder you are not taken seriously. You do realise that what you have said about Talon and Gollum is bigoted. You cannot go around making statements like this without evidence its called Slander.

[gollum]

And some men like you, gollum, I think, are actually degrading toward women: in fact, I think, you subjugate your women. 

No Babs, just you.

gollum...I know that you are into some sort of armed forces and are trained to use violence, and we know the military, traditionally, has the 'highest' rate of domestic violence (and you can understand why ) so, I am not out of line, thinking as I do. And, of course, in the past, I am thinking about some of the things you have said, about me and women in general.

Again Babs, it's just you.

Also Babs, you never answered any of my questions.

Is there a reason for this?

Do you believe that you are prejudential towards men because of your profession?

Infact Babs, is it a profession or do you do it out of the kindness of your heart?

...oh, come on, golly... give me a 'kissy pooh'.

I'd rather die a cold and lonely death Babs.

[Babs]

Michelle...misogyny is the hatred of women and misanthropy is the hatred of mankind, but misandrist_ I came up with a no-go on the spell check...I'm with you on that one.

I know what gollum is getting at..."man hater"...because I know that men tell their wives and girlfriends that women at the shelters and in domestic violence fields hate men. Batterers, typically, tell their women this, so that the women won't listen to us and get help. The batterer does't want anybody helping the victim get away from him or his control. They also call women that help other women with domestic violence, lesbians. Anything to degenerate the helper. I'm surprized gollum hasn't come out with that one yet ...he probably has_ just won't post it.

[Babs]

Lottie...Wow, you certainly have shown your prejudicial self! Never mind what they have said to me or 'about' me! If you want slander and abuse, why don't you check into 'their' posts?

[Guest Lottie]

misandrist_ I came up with a no-go on the spell check...I'm with you on that one.

No Babs it won't be on spell checker. It is rarely used in dictionaries nowadays but it is a word, it is spelt right and it means man hater.

[Babs]

...oh come on, golly, you know I turn you on.

[Babs]

Thanks Lottie....where is it? In what new-fangled dictionary? It isn't used because the culture doesn't have a place for it.

...and gollum, what question?

Edited October 27, 2004 by Babs

[Guest Lottie]

Lottie...Wow, you certainly have shown your prejudicial self!  Never mind what they have said to me or 'about' me!  If you want slander and abuse, why don't you check into 'their' posts?

No Babs rather I am balanced and I don't have some kind of hate issues with men! Not all men are like the ones you know or you have dealt with. All the men I know are wonderful people, you cannot tar men all men with the same brush!

You have no right going around making slanderous statements like that.

No wonder Gollum called you a Misandrist.

[Guest Lottie]

...oh come on, golly, you know I turn you on.  

328187[/snapback]

In your dreams Babs!

And what now all you have left is trying to resort to my sexuality, which happens to be straight but is none of your business, because I believe that what you are saying is nothing but making women of this world look stupid. Gosh you really are showing a lack of intelligence.

Edited October 27, 2004 by Lottie

[gollum]

Michelle...misogyny is the hatred of women and misanthropy is the hatred of mankind, but misandrist_ I came up with a no-go on the spell check...I'm with you on that one.

Try using a dictionary Babs. Spell check does not cover every word in the English language. If not, you can take my word for it, it's correctly spelt.

I know what gollum is getting at..."man hater"...because I know that men tell their wives and girlfriends that women at the shelters and in domestic violence fields hate men. Batterers, typically, tell their women this, so that the women won't listen to us and get help.  The batterer does't want anybody helping the victim get away from him or his control. They also call women that help other women with domestic violence, lesbians. Anything to degenerate the helper. I'm surprized gollum hasn't come out with that one yet  ...he probably has_ just won't post it.

I'll take that as read Babs, but if you are implying what I think you are implying then you could not be further from the mark.

To make such a cloaked suggestion tells me you have been beat in this discussion.

For your information Babs, my mother and my sister and I where all in a domestically violent home for the first 8 years of my childhood. Thankfully my mother got herself and us out of it before she or we where seriously hurt.

Now to imply that I would even consider using physical or phychological violence in my own household tells me that you really are clutching at straws to atempt to win this arguament.

To suggest that I would refer to abused women as "lesbians" is, quite frankly sad.

My brother happens to be gay, do you think that I would lable my mother a "lesbian" because she was in a "battered wifes" refuge.

Basically Babs I think you have finally shown that you are infact a weak, sad, warped individual, with absolutely no concept of what you are talking about and are totally detached from any kind of reality.

[Babs]

Gollum is slanderous. And you, Lottie, you are a 'sheltered' woman. You have obviously been sheltered most of your life. You don't know the first thing about men......yet.

I must say that there are wonderful men out there, Lottie is just being prejudiced against me..."her own sex, mind you".

Edited October 27, 2004 by Babs

[gollum]

Did you even read any of my posts Babs?

[Guest Lottie]

Gollum is slanderous. And you, Lottie, you are a 'sheltered' woman. You have obviously been sheltered most of your life. You don't know the first thing about men......yet.

I must say that there are wonderful men out there, Lottie is just being prejudiced against me..."her own sex, mind you".

328209[/snapback]

Babs grow up! You know nothing about me and you won't ever because quite frankly my dear I do not want to know someone like you who is full of the most laughable written rubbish I have ever seen. There are wonderful men out there i have many fabulous men around me.

I have to ask...are you always like this or is it just because you are heading for the menopause?

Edited October 27, 2004 by Lottie

[Babs]

I gotta go you guys....it's been a long day. We will talk later, gollum

....there 'are' wonderful men out there. There are also men helping women in domestic violence situations, too... and I take my hat off to them.

.... there are men and women helping batterers also....So, yes, we help everyone. We are trying to change "violence against women".

[Babs]

Oh Lottie..that's not nice. See, I think you are a woman hater...maybe you don't like being a woman. There are women like that.