An illusion that death cuts away

[markdohle]

An illusion that death cuts away

Do not take loved ones for granted. Family feuds cover an ocean of love, when anger ends a relationship, it is often an illusion that death cuts away, leaving only regret and a longing for the one now gone.

[DeWitz]

Having learned this the 'hard way,' I can say these are wise and helpful words.

[+and-then]

In my family we always part with "I love you". Deeps feuds are few, thankfully. We try to remember that time is short and pain can be long.

[pallidin]

Yeah, time is disturbingly short. I know that, on average, we live longer than our distant ancestors, but dang, to me it seems awefully short.

I know some people who hold irrational feudal mentality. My grandmother was like that and one of my brother's is.

So sad with life so short.

[Frank Merton]

There are times when offenses overwhelm family links. The most egregious is when a father abused daughters. I see nothing wrong with the daughters later having nothing to do with him. I might urge forgiving, but I understand when it isn't forthcoming.

I also know of cases where brothers used family ties to swindle their other brothers. Again, maybe being forgiving is best, but understanding of the bitterness of such betrayal is also called for.

I recently was used in such a way: I was approached to pay for a nephew's advanced degree. Turns out he used it for an investment. I don't feel betrayed, I just feel empty when I see him.

[+and-then]

There are times when offenses overwhelm family links. The most egregious is when a father abused daughters. I see nothing wrong with the daughters later having nothing to do with him. I might urge forgiving, but I understand when it isn't forthcoming.

I also know of cases where brothers used family ties to swindle their other brothers. Again, maybe being forgiving is best, but understanding of the bitterness of such betrayal is also called for.

I recently was used in such a way: I was approached to pay for a nephew's advanced degree. Turns out he used it for an investment. I don't feel betrayed, I just feel empty when I see him.

It's why I never "loan" money to family. I always give what I can afford to and no worries about it being returned.

[Frank Merton]

Yes of course; money to family and friends is always a gift. It still hurts when you are conned as to the reason for the need.

[keninsc]

It's happen to me as well on both ends. I hope one day to fix it, but it takes two. All I can do is hold the door open until I die.....and hope.

[White Crane Feather]

Yes of course; money to family and friends is always a gift. It still hurts when you are conned as to the reason for the need.

Indeed. I never loan money to anyone...ever. If I have it its a gift and I try to double what they asked for, in reality most people only need it once or twice. but I have told one family member that I will not be giving any more, then I text him the definition of enabler. He is sober now.

Edited October 7, 2013 by White Crane Feather

[Drayno]

I was reflecting earlier this morning, around seven or eight, how we are often forced to remain when our loved ones depart this Earth.

The only thing we can do is honor their legacy.. Their memory.. And to continue to live to the best of our ability.

I wonder, sometimes, if regret is something that can be overcome when so many memories can fill your head.

Surely, you would not want to drown in an ocean of your own sorrow?

Like most things, especially loss, you have to find a balance in between the painful acceptance and the longing for one last embrace.