Your kid is dying,wld u b posting on a forum

[Simbi Laveau]

OK, this involves a thread on another forum.

I won't mention any names etc etc, but this just begs to be analyzed.

And we know I rarely do this in this particular sub forum , but I wondered if this seemed odd to just me.

Someone posted a thread, with all kinds of childhood photos, of their kid, now an adult, saying this child of theirs, had less than a year to live.

They did it about.... Three weeks ago.

It got much attention , and even I posted.

In the last few days, the child took a turn for the worse, and as it was occuring, and I assume a hospice type situation, this parent kept posting on this thread.

When the child died, they posted, "my child just died".

Now, I get some of us get attached to our forum pals. I adore many of you here, but if my kid was dying, and just died, I don't think I would be in any frame of mine to give minute to minute updates, on my favorite forum .

After the fact, yes, but as it was occuring.... That just seems loopy to me.

I was at my mom's bedside when she died. I came home and cried for hours and my friends came over.

I wasn't posting on line. I did eventually update my online pals, but not the moment it occurred.

I kind of think it's a bull**** munchausens kind of deal.

I've seen it on livejournal with faked deaths and all of it.

There's even a Iive journal, fake live journal deaths, where they debunk them.

So, just a show of hands. If one of your kids was dying of a long drawn out suffering kind of death, would you post and post, and then post here, the moment they died...

I mean,maybe I'm just cynical, but I don't even do this when one of my cats dies.

I'm too busy holding them and mourning.

Edited October 28, 2013 by Simbi Laveau

[Sir Wearer of Hats]

It could be an avenue for expressing raw emotions without doing so in front of the other children or whoever.

Or it could be Munchausen by Proxy.

[Donnie Darko]

My aunt died of cancer earlier this month and it was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to go through thus far in my life. I do remember when I was at the Hospital and she was in ICU, I wasn't allowed to see her, I would check on the forums. It wasn't that I was insensitive, God knows I cried every day and sometimes still do, but I think people cope in different ways. Strange as it sounds. It's sick to post fake death blogs and journals, but I don't think it's altogether wrong to update people you're connected with if it's the real deal. That is the way they deal with it. I understand why one might see it as wrong or unusual, but I can also understand why someone who's grieving would share it online. It's an outlet to them.

Edited October 28, 2013 by Ever After

[Frank Merton]

Such posting is not something I would do, nor I think most of us, but there may be some who get solace from it, so I would be inclined to take it at face value. If I had suspicions about it I would probably avoid posting on it.

There appear a lot of threads where I think people are posting made-up or imagined experiences to get attention. I generally ignore them.

[Brian Topp]

OK, this involves a thread on another forum.

I won't mention any names etc etc, but this just begs to be analyzed.

And we know I rarely do this in this particular sub forum , but I wondered if this seemed odd to just me.

Someone posted a thread, with all kinds of childhood photos, of their kid, now an adult, saying this child of theirs, had less than a year to live.

They did it about.... Three weeks ago.

It got much attention , and even I posted.

*Shortened*

The truth is, If i did, i never come back here for i know that post and all those comments would break me to jelly.

When my wife and I use to play an online game called Everquest Back in 2002. We had this guildy, who was very popular and was well liked by the server (Everquest didn't really have trolls, for if you did it be nearly impossible to get into a good guild if you had a bad reputation).

Any way, He would hang out with my wife and I on a voice chat program and talked as we played. Well one day he vanished, days past and the guild leader texted him and got no response. So she called called his phone, no answer.

On the second month, we got this post on the server forum, Announcing that it is his wife posting and he had died in a fatal car accident. She stated he died in a week and she wanted to tell every one. She told every one there won't be a funeral for he will be cremated.

We did an digital candle, where you visit the page, you see how many candles light in this guys honor, if you want to add one you would click the icon and it will light a virtal candle. it went up to three thousand people (different IP addresses).

Years past, it's 2005 now and I was about to quit everquest with my wife. A guild member calls me at three am and was all angry and i couldn't make out what he said with his irish accent going 100 miles per hour.

Turns out, The guy made it up. He got bored of the game and instead of saying he was leaving the game he decided to do the easy way out. Former guild members activated their accounts over night and 130 former members chewed him out. His response, it was a joke.

Edited October 28, 2013 by Brian Topp

[Timothy]

People deal with things in their own way, everyone is different.

If someone I loved was dying I wouldn't mention it on here.

Everyone is different and we can only hope whatever is expressed is sincere.

[Frank Merton]

People deal with things in their own way, everyone is different.

If someone I loved was dying I wouldn't mention it on here.

Everyone is different and we can only hope whatever is expressed is sincere.

Actually thinking about it I think I probably would mention it, but would try my damnedest to avoid being maudlin or encouraging expressions of sympathy (which of course people would feel compelled to offer -- not fair). It's a hard one but one does want to talk about things of this sort with everyone in sight.

[Skeptical Moose]

Couldn't even fathom posting on any internet forum if a loved one was dying...it would literally wouldn't be on my list in any way shape or form.

Perhaps after losing a pet i may make a remembrance thread or something to that effect, but even then it would be some time after the fact.

As for people who troll or do it as a joke....there's a special place in the pit for you.

[Simbi Laveau]

The truth is, If i did, i never come back here for i know that post and all those comments would break me to jelly.

When my wife and I use to play an online game called Everquest Back in 2002. We had this guildy, who was very popular and was well liked by the server (Everquest didn't really have trolls, for if you did it be nearly impossible to get into a good guild if you had a bad reputation).

Any way, He would hang out with my wife and I on a voice chat program and talked as we played. Well one day he vanished, days past and the guild leader texted him and got no response. So she called called his phone, no answer.

On the second month, we got this post on the server forum, Announcing that it is his wife posting and he had died in a fatal car accident. She stated he died in a week and she wanted to tell every one. She told every one there won't be a funeral for he will be cremated.

We did an digital candle, where you visit the page, you see how many candles light in this guys honor, if you want to add one you would click the icon and it will light a virtal candle. it went up to three thousand people (different IP addresses).

Years past, it's 2005 now and I was about to quit everquest with my wife. A guild member calls me at three am and was all angry and i couldn't make out what he said with his irish accent going 100 miles per hour.

Turns out, The guy made it up. He got bored of the game and instead of saying he was leaving the game he decided to do the easy way out. Former guild members activated their accounts over night and 130 former members chewed him out. His response, it was a joke.

That is so messed up... This is what I mean. I imagine you and your wife both felt awful.

[Simbi Laveau]

My aunt died of cancer earlier this month and it was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to go through thus far in my life. I do remember when I was at the Hospital and she was in ICU, I wasn't allowed to see her, I would check on the forums. It wasn't that I was insensitive, God knows I cried every day and sometimes still do, but I think people cope in different ways. Strange as it sounds. It's sick to post fake death blogs and journals, but I don't think it's altogether wrong to update people you're connected with if it's the real deal. That is the way they deal with it. I understand why one might see it as wrong or unusual, but I can also understand why someone who's grieving would share it online. It's an outlet to them.

Yes, I do get this, but a blow by blow.

And it's their child.

They posted oh she's dying, then oh she died, and then answered a bunch of posts.

Something about it just doesn't ring true to me.

When my mom died, I posted on my journal that evening, but not as it was happening.

Who posts the moment their kids dies......

Just seems.... odd...

[Simbi Laveau]

Such posting is not something I would do, nor I think most of us, but there may be some who get solace from it, so I would be inclined to take it at face value. If I had suspicions about it I would probably avoid posting on it.

There appear a lot of threads where I think people are posting made-up or imagined experiences to get attention. I generally ignore them.

It didn't seem odd until these last posts as their loved one was dying.

I just cannot see posting from your ipad as their child is dying, and then dies.

[Simbi Laveau]

Hmmmm, thanks guys. I think we are all actually on the same page really, but since you cannot see the thread, what I'm referring to doesn't seem as odd as it, is..??

*scratches head*

It just seems odd to me this last day or so...

I will just avoid it now, as it seems too odd to me to be legit.

[Q-C]

I think if I understand the situation you are describing, the child was dying as the woman updated, and they were in possibly the same room?

We are all different and respond differently, but for me, my hands would be in my child's hands, I'd be kissing them, touching them, tears streaming, shaking. I don't think I could ever be "prepared enough" for the death of a loved one, for ME, to respond any differently. Yes, I've been there, though thankfully not for one of my children.

So yes, her behavior is hard for me to understand, but...

Edited October 28, 2013 by QuiteContrary

[Mr.United_Nations]

sure it wasn't a troll?

[TopToffee]

I had to work the day my dad passed in 2005,three days after christmas.I had no choice but not all are the same.I have seen people just get on with it only for it to hit them later in life.I will say that it does seem odd for a mother and a dying child though because of the bond that should exist.

[Professor T]

My father passed away late last year..

I was in two minds over posting anything about it because:

a)I didn't want sympathy & my Ego didn't want to portray the Poor Me..

b)The emotions were raw, but mine.. Why share something so personal?

I Didn't post for quite a while. But truth be told, such a large event in one's personal life eventually comes out in the open, even online..

It sux that some people Troll their emotions, and try to engage others with sob stories and Emotional manipulation. What sux more, is these people mostly get away with it because we never call them out on their BS simply because our Ego's fear projecting harsh criticism on something others perceive as sad or tragic events..

[DeWitz]

About a year ago an American National Public Radio reporter caught flak for essentially recording his mother's last minutes on earth in a hospice bed. Some praised him for courageous, groundbreaking journalism, but others called him a ghoul, or worse. I think he reported on his experience, without the actual deathbed recordings broadcast.

[CatFromHell]

Everyone deals with death in different ways I suppose, I've heard of people doing similar things on Facebook, Maybe the poster is posting here as its more anonymous? Having said that, I used to.use a chatroom and a user I used to chat to told me his mum was dying of cancer, This went on for months until she apparantely died. Talking to him months later, He suddenly mentioned that he was going to his mums, When I questioned him he tried to backtrack before admitting he had lied and couldn't offer an exclamation why. Attention? Mental illness? I dont know but I was pretty gutted at being lied to about something so serious and stopped talking to him. Maybe this poster is doing a similar thing. Or maybe it is genuine and they are venting here as its easier for them than talking to family or friends?

Edited October 28, 2013 by SheWomanCatTypeThing

[TopToffee]

Death is a terrible thing when it confronts you.This lady either seems as though she has let it effect her because of her childs death or is someone who is cruelly using a falsehood.

[Leonardo]

I agree with those suggesting that people cope with stressful situations in different ways. Some people internalise their emotions and anxieties, while others externalise. The concept of 'privacy' differs for everyone.

[docyabut2]

OK, this involves a thread on another forum.

I won't mention any names etc etc, but this just begs to be analyzed.

And we know I rarely do this in this particular sub forum , but I wondered if this seemed odd to just me.

Someone posted a thread, with all kinds of childhood photos, of their kid, now an adult, saying this child of theirs, had less than a year to live.

They did it about.... Three weeks ago.

It got much attention , and even I posted.

In the last few days, the child took a turn for the worse, and as it was occuring, and I assume a hospice type situation, this parent kept posting on this thread.

When the child died, they posted, "my child just died".

Now, I get some of us get attached to our forum pals. I adore many of you here, but if my kid was dying, and just died, I don't think I would be in any frame of mine to give minute to minute updates, on my favorite forum .

After the fact, yes, but as it was occuring.... That just seems loopy to me.

I was at my mom's bedside when she died. I came home and cried for hours and my friends came over.

I wasn't posting on line. I did eventually update my online pals, but not the moment it occurred.

I kind of think it's a bull**** munchausens kind of deal.

I've seen it on livejournal with faked deaths and all of it.

There's even a Iive journal, fake live journal deaths, where they debunk them.

So, just a show of hands. If one of your kids was dying of a long drawn out suffering kind of death, would you post and post, and then post here, the moment they died...

I mean,maybe I'm just cynical, but I don't even do this when one of my cats dies.

I'm too busy holding them and mourning.

Its not unusual for people to do that. I did right after my father died, its a escape from reality.

[Nighthawk9653]

I think that's awful, and stupid.

When my brother died a few months ago I didn't post or text or anything on anything. I was hurting too bad to want to contact anyone. Then the hospital therapist lady says that she was worried about me because I wasn't plugged into a device WHILE MY BROTHER WAS DEATHLY ILL. Who in their right mind could text or post or anything in a situation like that? I was so stressed and scared, and heck, I'm still in mourning.

Little electronic devices give me no comfort whatsoever, so why would I turn to one in such dire times? Why would anyone? In these situations people need people, not little machines.

[docyabut2]

I think that's awful, and stupid.

When my brother died a few months ago I didn't post or text or anything on anything. I was hurting too bad to want to contact anyone. Then the hospital therapist lady says that she was worried about me because I wasn't plugged into a device WHILE MY BROTHER WAS DEATHLY ILL. Who in their right mind could text or post or anything in a situation like that? I was so stressed and scared, and heck, I'm still in mourning.

Little electronic devices give me no comfort whatsoever, so why would I turn to one in such dire times? Why would anyone? In these situations people need people, not little machines.

I know people that have gone on the net in their close last dying breaths, its not unusual.

[Rocketgirl]

I could understand someone posting on fb that someone close to them has died so their family and real life friends will know. I just don't get why someone would post moment by moment on a forum to strangers about the death of someone they know. Some people are just......I don't know. It's just weird.

[Simbi Laveau]

sure it wasn't a troll?

They posted photos of their child,in a Montage growing up.

They didn't present it as troll work.

It seemed sincere to me until the last day.

It was just... Weird.