What is going on here?

[artandjoy]

Hello,

I have just remembered that I had an account here (thank heavens) and was hoping someone could help me better understand what is going on. I have posted here once or twice before, but have since then snapped out of whatever I was going through and am now a little bit more serious about this whole situation. I'm going to recount all the experiences I can remember that I have had up until now. Maybe someone can tell me what's happening, if anything? Real, or just a coincidence? What is it exactly? Should I seek a professional? This is lengthy, so thank you in advance for reading.

It started when I was around six years old. Now, what happened to me at that time I know was just my young mind playing tricks on me from what I saw, but I feel it exposed me to all of this. As if, it was now known that I better knew that this stuff existed and I feared it. When I was even younger, I had a babysitter that would tell me scary stories and such, and now that I had internet access, I was able to look deeper into the subject. I saw all the things that I know now were just scams, photoshopped pictures, made up stories... stuff like that. But it stuck to me, and I was very infatuated with the paranormal. I feel like that's what started this.

So a year or two after this, weird stuff started happening. Psychic things, almost? While all of this stuff happened I would feel like I was being followed by something, so I don't know if this would also be considered paranormal. This went on for years and years, even after moving none of my friends wanted to have sleepovers because they felt scared in my house, around me. That stung, really bad...Whatever was following me got progressively worse. Things would start moving, etc. One time I randomly, after hearing something behind me, went into some state of shock, completely unable to move, and heard a very distinct breathing. It got louder and louder, until the very last moment when I snapped out of it.

Anyway, (sorry, I babble) there was one time I remember going into my moms bedroom because I had lost my Gameboy. I asked her where it was and she said she had no clue, so I asked the stuffed animal I had where it was. My mom rolled her eyes and told me to just look for it, but I remember envisioning in my head where it was. Keep in mind I had no idea where it was, I wasn't trying to recount my steps or remember what I did with it last, it just kind of popped into my head, like a vision of sorts. I pretended to talk to my stuffed animal, like he had told me where it was. I said aloud, "In the closet? Okay!" I opened my moms closet and started digging through her laundry basket and there it was, my Gameboy. I told her I found it and she paused for a little bit, then told me that I was lying and I had known where it was beforehand. I denied it and went about my night.

Alright, this next experience is when I had a computer of my own. I was about 9, and I learned about psychic abilities. I thought this was extremely cool and was very excited because I could relate to the things that I read. I also discovered that you could move things with your mind! I was very eager to try it out, and did one of the exercises it told me. I grabbed a clear cup and filled it with water. Went into my mother's room where it was quiet and set it on her nightstand. I backed up a little ways and concentrated on it like the directions said. It honestly only felt like a few moments that I stood there but I'm pretty sure I was there for a good 30 minutes. My right arm got extremely warm and it kind of channeled(?) through my arm and to my hand, which then started to tingle. To my surprise the water started moving, as if raindrops were hitting it. It stopped almost immediately due to my excitement. That was maybe the only time I was able to move anything. Any other time I tried to validate that I could do it, I would get very tired due to the amount of concentration I had to put into it.

I soon figured out a thing called ESP. Though, I did not know where to buy the cards and decided to make my own. I asked my mom if she could do this with me and since she obviously thought it was a joke she playfully said ok to it. I asked her to keep track of my 'score' on a piece of paper. We sat down on the bed and she would choose a card, and I would just sit there and think. Eventually, I would hear or see the shape in my head. I got it right every single time except for maybe two times at the end when my mom was getting tired. She said "okay, let's stop, you're freaking me out." and we ended it.

I wanted to expand on this, so I decided to try things at my elementary school. I would take my friends out into the hallway and have them think of the same number, 1-10, 1-15, etc. I got it right every single time. I felt like the number would be whispered into my ear...I felt some sort of presence? There was also one instance when I was in the gymnasium and I got set in time out. The teacher who did it was playing basketball at the time, and I was sitting on the wall, furious. I felt really pushed to do something to hurt him. In my head, I just kept thinking about something happening to him. He ended up walking right into a basketball someone had thrown, and it hit him in his head. If it wasn't a coincidence, i'm not proud of it, but it did feel kind of good regardless.

So fast forwarding, I was entering my preteen-teen years and my life kind of took a turn. I lost some important friends, became an introvert, got diagnosed with depression and anxiety.. And for some reason, when i entered these stages of my life, all of these weird happenings died down, but then something else came into this situation. I was a very sad girl, and the reason I seclude myself so much (even now) is because when I went into places with people, like school, shopping, etc. I would get so influenced (?) by other people's emotions. I would get migraines if I was around too many people, and at the end of the day, I would be so emotionally drained and even sick from being around this energy.

But even though I could not do as much as I use to, it still happened. Though, I really couldn't control it, it just did it when it decided to do it. There was one time when I was 13, I was at a skating rink with some family and we were going to play the Number Game. If you are not familiar with this: In a lot of skating rinks, there are numbers painted on the wall. The host will play music for a short while, and when it stops, everyone is suppose to go to a number. The host will roll a huge pair of dice and whichever numbers it lands on would be out of the game. I was playing with my cousin and when the music stopped, I would tell her what numbers not to go to, and they were called every time. It was like cheating basically, but I didn't choose for the numbers to pop up into my head.. they just kind of did unexpectedly. Which was surprising because I hadn't been practicing this stuff for a really long time. I was so happy that someone could finally witness what I could do, but when I talked to her after the game, she seemed really distant. As if she were disappointed. I asked her if she believed me, and she just answered with an attitude. She wouldn't tell anyone what happened, and even now when I bring it up I usually just get a, "yeah, whatever" I don't wanna say it's doubt she was experiencing but I kind of sensed that she was scared.

So yeah, stuff like that would happen here or there but I didn't think much of it because whenever I tried to validate that I could do it like I used to, nothing would happen.

So here we are now. I'm still a teenager, going through some pretty rough teenaged-things, but the reason that I'm writing this is because I feel like whatever presence was there when all of this stuff happened is trying to reach me again. And this is where I'm confused. It use to be just clairvoyance, telepathy, things like that (if it's really true). But a few months ago I was lying in my bed and I couldn't sleep. I felt like someone was with me, and then the name of my great grandmother suddenly popped into my head. My grandma? I thought. I just shook the thought out of my head because I knew there were stories of spirits visiting their loved ones before they passed. I thought it was horrible and did not want to think about it. The next day, I didn't go to school. I had a really rough morning with my mom and ended up falling back asleep. But at about 10AM she was sitting on my bed in tears. She was shaking me and saying my name. She was having a full blown panic attack. She told me that my great grandmother was in the hospital again. She had just recently gotten out of surgery and something went wrong, and no one knew if she was going to make it. I went into her room with her to keep her company and at first I was just completely emotionless. I was thinking about what had happened that night, and I became angry with myself. Like I should've told my mother what I heard, but I shouldn't because all of my life I was just ridiculed for stuff like this.

And at this moment, for the first time in a long time, there have been very little occurrences. My TV will turn on and off, sometimes my drawers will open... but that's basically it. This could be anything... but I've been followed by that presence for so long, in each house I've moved to, that I feel like what's happening now is whatever...that is.

I know this whole post is confusing because I am too. I don't know what it could be. Is this stuff happening due to some kind of link with something paranormal? Or is this 'paranormal' and 'psychic' two separate things? Is it even considered any of those? Can I have more than one ability? Should I go see someone?? Please let me know if you need me to re-explain things. I feel like it's all really messing with my life.

Thank you for your time.

[Thorvir]

Before the serious answers are posted:

We can rule out psychic phenomena, because if it were, you'd know what we would post, so you wouldn't be asking for anyone's opinion on it.

[Q-C]

*off topic* Welcome! Very interesting markings on your cat. Love the black face and white whiskers. Funny looking front left paw pattern.

I'd love to see a bigger picture under our Community lounge...Pets Gallery

(If it's even your cat ).

Edited February 15, 2014 by QuiteContrary

[artandjoy]

Before the serious answers are posted:

We can rule out psychic phenomena, because if it were, you'd know what we would post, so you wouldn't be asking for anyone's opinion on it.

Of course, of course.

*off topic* Welcome! Very interesting markings on your cat. Love the black face and white whiskers. Funny looking front left paw pattern.

I'd love to see a bigger picture under our Community lounge...Pets Gallery

(If it's even your cat ).

Sure thing! I'll go post some pictures of him haha

[White Crane Feather]

You will be fine. You have a gift of awareness. Don't worry about anything following you and don't afraid. Your experiences Are actually not that abnormal, just suppressed. If you feel the need to talk to someone don't be afraid to use councilors that are available to you. Unfortunately the support mechanisms in most cultures for kids like yourself has been culturally erased. I would keep reading if I were you. Study many things and don't give into fear mongering. Your first thing you should look into is something called the shamanic initiation crises, the transpersonal emergency/emergence. Take care and let me know if I can help at all. You will run into the resident pseudo skeptics around here, but there are a few people that can and will offer good advice.

Take care.

[Dackeriah]

So, here's what I have to say and if I get shot down well then so be it. Hi, I know what your feeling I know that feeling that you're having trust me I do although our experiences are a tiny bit different I know how you feel. For allot of my life I was followed around by shadows of creatures almost like 6 foot tall men but slouched over, and when I say all the time it was ALL THE TIME that they would just appear out of nowhere for no reason at all just to watch me, of course it's not like they just sat there they went through people and shifted away just a bunch of nonsense. But moral to my story ever since like two years ago I've always felt completely different where as people moved away from you they strongly tended to gravitate towards me, trees would give me weird visions when I'd lay in the woods and bats would literally follow me and circle kind of high above my head when I'd go out at night. There is something completely different and completely paranormal going on that some people on this site just don't have the ability to understand because it's never happened to them and it never will and they will dismiss it as nonsense and feel perfectly fine while people like us sit alone at night wondering what we are, or why we are for that matter… hopefully our time will come soon where we experience our true potential and come into what we were really born for. Oh and by the way the same thing that happened with your great grandma happened with my grandad but I daydreamed that I started to urinate blood and then his name rang through my ears and the next day on his birthday he told everyone for the first time that he had testicular cancer. But yeah that my little story. Hope to speak to you soon.

[John from Lowell]

And at this moment, for the first time in a long time, there have been very little occurrences. My TV will turn on and off, sometimes my drawers will open... but that's basically it. This could be anything... but I've been followed by that presence for so long, in each house I've moved to, that I feel like what's happening now is whatever...that is.

I know this whole post is confusing because I am too. I don't know what it could be. Is this stuff happening due to some kind of link with something paranormal? Or is this 'paranormal' and 'psychic' two separate things? Is it even considered any of those? Can I have more than one ability? Should I go see someone?? Please let me know if you need me to re-explain things. I feel like it's all really messing with my life.

Thank you for your time.

Yes you are not that average girl. There is more to this than I can explain or understand for that matter. I would like to mention two some what unrelated things that I feel are relevant in your particular case.

Some people are much more naturally telekinetic and telepathic. I feel it is safe to say you are that way.

Science has yet to discover two energies that every human carries. It is a strong and a weak quantum energy. I have a link to a channeled message about that.

http://www.kryon.com/k_chanelshasta_2_07.html

There’s a whole set of laws that must be developed for a strong and a weak interdimensional force. These are the last two, and now you have the six. You have gravity, you have electromagnetics, you have strong and weak nuclear, and now you have number five and number six, which are strong and weak interdimensional force.

Some day we will be able to see and measure these things you are able to influence energetically. That will not happen soon. Science is slow moving into new things and that is most appropriate.

In my view, there are elemental energies and beings around us. I have an elemental being that stays with me. I have even seen an orb of light that reflects her presence.

So who is doing what and why is a very good question. I can suggest stuff like talking in your mind or out loud to yourself and your invisible friends. We do know that these things are real even if it is not an experience common to others. Infrequent events are easy to logically dismiss but not the volume of happenings in your life.

I can also say that you are not entirely alone. You are unique but not that unique. There are some like yourself out there.

Best Wishes!!

John

[Beany]

It's my experience that some of us see or are aware of more energies/entities/spooks than the average person. I see it this way: it wasn't until the microscope was invented that we could see bacteria &viruses, molecules, etc. and it really took seeing them to believe in their existence. Some of us are more sensitive to energy than others, some of us have more nerve endings than others that enables us to experience the world in a different way than the average person. It doesn't have anything to do with spirituality, but more with our biology. It can be a spiritual experience, in the same way that watching a baby being born or a magnificent sunset can be spiritual.

I used to see a lot of stuff, and then someone told me I could ask to see it only in my mind's eye, which happened immediately, and with which I'm more comfortable. So that's the way I "see", and I'm very sensitive to energy, both normal & paranormal. This kind of thing runs in my family, and we've gotten used to talking about it, which is helpful. I also found that there are many more people open to this than I suspected, and find talking about it worthwhile. I've spent years studying & reading, psychology, religion, sociology, books about indigenous tribes & cultures; read enough and you will begin to see commonalities. People who ridicule are coming from a place of fear and ignorance, so it's good to have compassion for them, but not to let them overly influence you. Skepticism is good, but when it crosses the line to ridicule, you need to exit stage left, as the great Snagglepuss says.

You might find inspiration in these interviews of Luisa Teish, who is a priestess in the Ifa/Yoruba spiritual tradition, and also trained in the Native American tradition. I think she provides a valuable perspective.