acute Posted July 13, 2014 #526 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Helen eats babies. I know, it's not ok! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted July 13, 2014 #527 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Helen eats babies. The word is "babes"! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 13, 2014 #528 Share Posted July 13, 2014 (edited) Sorry for bursting your bubble, but that wasn't me, it didn't really happen to you and it doesn't ever happen anywhere except in these movies. When toyomotor was still inside a Toyota Corolla he was involved in an accident. Toyota reared BMW, totalled itself and toyomotor was one of rare parts salvaged from the wreck. While BMW prompted its driver: "New hardware found. Install?" and calmly drove off after the driver, naturally, picked "No." Edited July 13, 2014 by Helen of Annoy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted July 14, 2014 #529 Share Posted July 14, 2014 It wasn't an accident. It was a carefully laid trap sprung by Helen of Annoy, with the express intention of attracting my attention. She's been purving on me for weeks, I've seen her staring at me. She's become a real stalker. As I lay here in my hospital bed, my thoughts of Helen make my oil pressure rise dangerously. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 14, 2014 #530 Share Posted July 14, 2014 toyo knows I only want him for his spare parts, but he doesn't care. He already lost all the gas from his tank like this once and had to have his exhaustion pipe repaired, but if he says it was worth it, then it was worth it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis914 Posted July 14, 2014 #531 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Waitaminute, I saw Helen driving a 1988 Yugo the other day and a 1989 Lotus Esprit the next. I'm wondering where Toyomotor fits in...? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DefenceMinisterMishkin Posted July 14, 2014 #532 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Mantis stole my last Rolo 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 14, 2014 #533 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Waitaminute, I saw Helen driving a 1988 Yugo the other day and a 1989 Lotus Esprit the next. I'm wondering where Toyomotor fits in...? My first car was, in fact, 1985 Yugo It was worse than you think Mantis stole my last Rolo Liar. It wasn't your Rolo, you stole it yourself. And it wasn't your last, you stole 7 at once. Now, if DefenceMinisterMishkin hides 5 out of 7 stolen Rolos, how many of them you'll find in his pockets and how many in his body orifices? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted July 14, 2014 #534 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Misses H of A really enjoys this exploratory game…. That one isn't a rolo though Misses H…. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 14, 2014 #535 Share Posted July 14, 2014 (edited) Well, what do I know what that thing that apparently isn't a Rolo is supposed to look like? Blue Star drew me a picture, so I don't get confused again, but it didn't help, so she's working on clay sculpture of said thing that isn't a Rolo. Edited July 14, 2014 by Helen of Annoy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 15, 2014 Author #536 Share Posted July 15, 2014 I asked Helen how happy she was to see me and she pulled a banana out of her pocket and said "Here Swordsman I save you the big one". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 15, 2014 #537 Share Posted July 15, 2014 When OverSword was arrested for parading on the beach with banana, the big one, in his shorts, he said he suffers from low potassium and doesn't go anywhere without his first aid banana. It could even work, if he wasn't asked to eat the incriminating banana to prove it's his medicine. "What? It was in my shorts, how can you ask me to eat it?" was not the answer you was supposed to give. You should have said you already had one a minute ago and are afraid you might overdose if you eat that one too. Amateur. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 15, 2014 Author #538 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Helen can't remember the last time she was intimate with her husband. It was last night but she drinks a lot and can't remember. She'll have to take his word that she enjoyed it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 15, 2014 #539 Share Posted July 15, 2014 I said "you was" instead of "you were" up there. I feel like lolcat now. Old, Sphynx type of lolcat. That reminds me, you don't know if you truly love cats until you see a Sphynx. And that reminds me that you don't know if you truly love OverSword until you see him naked, without his hernia support belt. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 15, 2014 Author #540 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Helen loves me so much that she took my hernia support belt and uses it for an anklet. She's so overweight that it was the only part of her body it will fit around. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted July 15, 2014 #541 Share Posted July 15, 2014 OS wishes he was a hernia support belt ................. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astra. Posted July 16, 2014 #542 Share Posted July 16, 2014 ouija ouija likes to carry flowers around in her blue dress pocket for months at a time 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted July 16, 2014 #543 Share Posted July 16, 2014 A bit hard to do when she walks around the house naked all of the time. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 16, 2014 #544 Share Posted July 16, 2014 toyomotor just blew his cover. He waits patiently for ouija to come back home, perfectly still against the wall and painted to resemble said wall to the last detail. As she unlocks the door he quickly moves and sneaks into her house, following her perfectly aligned just an inch away from back. He's so good at this you could call him ninja if he wasn't already called a perv, by people in whose houses he was sneaking before they caught him. Once inside the house, toyomotor stands among the coats hanging near the front door in winter or puts standing lamp shade on his head in summer. ouija sometimes does have an impression there's something different about her standing lamp, or there are more coats than there should be, but there's always something else more urgent so she never took a closer look. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 16, 2014 Author #545 Share Posted July 16, 2014 toyomotor loves nothing more than to be seen in parades. Here is a photo now. toyomotor got two lies told about him because he failed to tell a lie about astra00 in his post. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 16, 2014 #546 Share Posted July 16, 2014 OverSword is not wearing bra in that photo. No, no, he's in the audience. The days when he received positive feedback from walking down the street in his underwear are long gone. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 16, 2014 Author #547 Share Posted July 16, 2014 The days when he received positive feedback from walking down the street in his underwear are long gone. If only that were a lie........*sighs* Helen's days of getting feedback for showing a lot of flesh are still here. If you don't believe me just go to the people of wall mart website and do a search for "Helen of Annoy" and also search "Just say no to crack" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted July 16, 2014 #548 Share Posted July 16, 2014 OverSword is not wearing bra in that photo. No, no, he's in the audience. This is actually TRUE! He is towards the left in a red sleeveless top and white shorts. I am next but one to the right of him(dark glasses and denim shorts). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted July 16, 2014 #549 Share Posted July 16, 2014 If only that were a lie........*sighs* Helen's days of getting feedback for showing a lot of flesh are still here. If you don't believe me just go to the people of wall mart website and do a search for "Helen of Annoy" and also search "Just say no to crack" You will notice that OS doesn't DENY that he STILL walks down the street in his underwear! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 16, 2014 Author #550 Share Posted July 16, 2014 The truth is that I get my underwear off of ouija's clothes line at night. Then in the morning after wearing them I hang them back up. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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