Helen of Annoy Posted July 16, 2014 #551 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Nope, I had to delete it. It was against UM rules, graphic to hell. Light stuff, light... let me see... Nope, nope, had to delete that one too. Don't mention hanging in front of me, it makes my brain go in weird loops. Oh, well... OverSword decided to hang himself, but he couldn't tie noose knot if his life depended on it. Or his death. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 16, 2014 Author #552 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Helen's original lie was about auto erotic asphyxiation but she doesn't want people knowing that she is aware of what that is because she always pretends she is a blushing virgin that never swears or goes to adult rated movies. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted July 17, 2014 #553 Share Posted July 17, 2014 OverSimpleDimples…..Collects misses H of A's used ticket stubbs… He waits outside the theatre imagining, longing, Dreeeeeeaming….of sitting next to her and eating her popcorn. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted July 17, 2014 #554 Share Posted July 17, 2014 Helen's original lie was about auto erotic asphyxiation but she doesn't want people knowing that she is aware of what that is because she always pretends she is a blushing virgin that never swears or goes to adult rated movies. Well that's not true. I saw her at the XXX Cinema last night. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis914 Posted July 17, 2014 #555 Share Posted July 17, 2014 Somehow, I got lost when I was supposed to see Rocky II on the big screen, I ended up in this XXX Cinema last night and you'll never guess who I was wedged against: Helen and Toyomotor... Imagine my surprise when they started the movie, I dropped my popcorn and ran out of the theater before it warped my fwagile wittle mind... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
existo Posted July 17, 2014 #556 Share Posted July 17, 2014 mantis914 smells like fingernails when rubbed vigorously 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 17, 2014 #557 Share Posted July 17, 2014 (edited) existo misses the smell of his/her vigorously rubbed fingernails, these fakes smell of plastic. edit: oh, in case you do have fake nails, then let it be known you run away from the salon without paying for manicure. For the third time in a row, so next time they'll do your nails only if you pay in advance. Edited July 17, 2014 by Helen of Annoy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 18, 2014 Author #558 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Helen of Annoy is really asking about the fake nails so she will know if she needs to rip them off your hands before adding you to her crock pot. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted July 18, 2014 #559 Share Posted July 18, 2014 OverSunbathedBaldSpot…..Wears false toe nails. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 18, 2014 Author #560 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Blue Star is the only reason I come to UM. I found out her real name is Barbara Carrera and I've love her since I was a child. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cenobite Posted July 20, 2014 #561 Share Posted July 20, 2014 oversword ISNT weird 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 20, 2014 #562 Share Posted July 20, 2014 No one here is weird. After posting that cenobite went to beach to try snorkeling. "It looks like fun", he said, and it must be fun indeed, since he hasn't surfaced back yet. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted July 20, 2014 #563 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Helen also posts as 'ouija ouija'. She talks to herselves for hours on end! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted July 20, 2014 #564 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Acute is a porcupine with ambitions 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 20, 2014 #565 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Blue Star keeps a lock of acute's hair... actually, it's a bunch of his spines, but it sounds more romantic to call it a lock of hair. It was short but intense affair, with passionate fights that would culminate with doors being slammed so hard they'd fell out of frame. Everyone was slightly relieved when these two broke up, except the local carpenter who considered Blue Star's door repairs a regular weekly job. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 20, 2014 Author #566 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Helen of Annoy is trying to convince cenobite to star in a Croatian production of Fiddler on the Roof. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 21, 2014 #567 Share Posted July 21, 2014 He'll do it, for 2 metres of sausage and a sack of turnip. We went through budget roof, but he'll do it. OverSword would do it for free, but he would also fall through the roof. It would be great action part, but since he'd fall through right away, we couldn't do any other scene so we simply had to go with lighter guy. Don't be sad, you're my first choice for Croatian remake of Godfather. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 21, 2014 Author #568 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Helen's prescription of anti-psychotics somehow got confused with a prescription of somebody's diet pills. The results have been frightening. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DefenceMinisterMishkin Posted July 21, 2014 #569 Share Posted July 21, 2014 OverSword said he wants to make love to me and then eat me.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 21, 2014 Author #570 Share Posted July 21, 2014 DefenceMinisterMishkin actually emailed me requesting that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 21, 2014 #571 Share Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) OverSword had to decline, since I have his diet pills. Edited July 21, 2014 by Helen of Annoy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis914 Posted July 23, 2014 #572 Share Posted July 23, 2014 OverSword had to decline, since I have his diet pills. Helen of Annoy laughed at such trickery as she took the diet pills and drank diet coke with them. Of course, she wasn't going to be fooled by a silly urban legend saying that drinking diet coke and diet pills at the same time turns you into a rabbit... however, she found out too late when she started having cravings for carrots and lettuce and eagles and hawks were swooping down attacking her... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 23, 2014 #573 Share Posted July 23, 2014 (edited) Mantis is so good at camouflage I nearly cut his head off when trimming the bush because I honestly thought he's just another leaf. And he's not giggling after reading "trimming the bush" expression. He kept his head on only because turned he it around to take a better look at passing lady mantis, so that keeping his head on will only be temporary. Edited July 23, 2014 by Helen of Annoy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 23, 2014 Author #574 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Helen heard that American women trim their bush and couldn't understand how a juniper could grow down there. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis914 Posted July 23, 2014 #575 Share Posted July 23, 2014 So many innuendos being made around here I'm not sure if I may have stumbled into the XXX cinema again by drunken accident instead of Rocky Part III this time... This is the last time I ask Oversword for directions when he's laughing after trying to keep a straight face unsuccessfully... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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