AbyssWalker Posted July 28, 2014 #601 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Crow T Sharkbot loves Batman cartoons. That's not..... a lie.... Mantis has been spreading this urban legend about some red owl thing, he wears a red dress and pokes people in the eye, I hear. He is the only one who perpetrates this story, he's like "Hey did you hear that story about rose red on the news?", all his friends are like "No!", Mantis is like "Oh my god, I'm so scared". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 28, 2014 #602 Share Posted July 28, 2014 (edited) Yeah, yeah, you can laugh now, but when someone said "Police!" only once you screamed "It's not my bag!" three times, even before any police materialized. In your defence, all crows and magpies are kleptomaniacs. Edited July 28, 2014 by Helen of Annoy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbyssWalker Posted July 28, 2014 #603 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Helen of Annoy was an amateur soccer player in the 16th division of Falkirk premier league. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis914 Posted July 28, 2014 #604 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Crow is just sore because Hatopus picked Argentina to win the World Cup and he bet the notes to his house and car on that and, well... the rest is history... I passed him the other day and heard him grumbling something about calamari... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbyssWalker Posted July 28, 2014 #605 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Mantis-Man is the only super hero in the world with absolutely no super powers (Except for 'Mantis Creepy Stare') which just annoys people very, very mildly. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 28, 2014 #606 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Don't cry for meee Aaargentinaaaaaaaa.... ahem. Crow had an affaire with a magpie but they were too much alike to last. The breakup was noisy, but he still keeps her feather in a box in the bottom drawer, among his underwear for special occassions. There's no drawer for everyday underwear, because Crow prefers to wear it until it falls apart. Showers with it too, he says it saves time, energy and space. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted July 29, 2014 #607 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Helen doesn't tell lies! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 29, 2014 #608 Share Posted July 29, 2014 toyo tells some lies, but doesn't lie through his teeth. Because they're at dentist's for the repair. They took a look at broken toyo's dentures and asked what the hell happened to them. toyo said: "Grill." "No, no, you can't break dentures like that by eating grilled food..." "Car grill." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted July 30, 2014 #609 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Helen said that if I was a rich man, all day long we'd deedle deedle dum, if I was a wealthy man 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 30, 2014 Author #610 Share Posted July 30, 2014 toyomotor is that guy in the locker room that will stand 3 feet in front of you while naked when you're sitting on the bench putting your shoes on. *shivers* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 30, 2014 #611 Share Posted July 30, 2014 In other words, toyomotor was standing in OverSword's favourite spot in front of the bench today. When toyo finally moved, OverSword promptly put "caution - wet floor" sign in his spot to save it for tomorrow. Like leaving your towel on the beach overnight, so your spot is waiting for you. Not nice, not fair, but useful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 31, 2014 Author #612 Share Posted July 31, 2014 Helen leaves things on the beach too. She leaves them at night when there are no witnesses, knowing that the tide will take the evidence far out to sea where it is unlikely to ever be found. If it is found it's been mostly eaten by fish and crabs and no modern forensic techniques will ever be able to trace it back to her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted July 31, 2014 #613 Share Posted July 31, 2014 Over Sword is jealous of toyo. OS is no swordsman. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted July 31, 2014 Author #614 Share Posted July 31, 2014 Toyomotor talks big, unfortunately his sword is a half folded pocket knife without a locking mechanism 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DefenceMinisterMishkin Posted July 31, 2014 #615 Share Posted July 31, 2014 OverSword enjoys pressing wild flowers (and chopping down trees) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 31, 2014 #616 Share Posted July 31, 2014 In case there's still someone who didn't know, DefenceMinisterMishkin's pet name is Wild Flower. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CuriousRey Posted July 31, 2014 #617 Share Posted July 31, 2014 Helen of Annoy is not wearing a Hat-o-pus, that is in fact her real head!!!?!?!?!@#%$@$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 31, 2014 #618 Share Posted July 31, 2014 And that up there is Rey's actual e-mail adress. If you pass it on to at least 10,000 other spammers, Nigeran princess will send you free laptop you can collect nine days after you win lottery jackpot. If you don't do that and break this chain, you'll break your legs, your fiancee will leave you and you'll spend nine years posting on UM. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CuriousRey Posted July 31, 2014 #619 Share Posted July 31, 2014 And that up there is Rey's actual e-mail adress. If you pass it on to at least 10,000 other spammers, Nigeran princess will send you free laptop you can collect nine days after you win lottery jackpot. If you don't do that and break this chain, you'll break your legs, your fiancee will leave you and you'll spend nine years posting on UM. Hillarium Helen! On a side note me and my fiancee just split up so that gave me a real good laugh. Helen is actually the nigerian princess and she really will give you a laptop! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted July 31, 2014 #620 Share Posted July 31, 2014 You didn't! What did you do? Are you not ashamed? Go to your fiancee and apologize at once! No, seriously, you think people willing to put up with you are found on any corner? Men... Rey used my royal laptop to buy himself Eastern European bride, that's what happened, that's what he did. But it was worse than you think. Because of interesting weather with possibility of nuclear fallout, our brides are cheaper than ever so if you buy one, you get two for the same price. And who could resist? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted August 1, 2014 #621 Share Posted August 1, 2014 I don't know about laptops, but Helen gave me a Lap Dance once. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cenobite Posted August 3, 2014 #622 Share Posted August 3, 2014 you wish! Toyomotor is a great guy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted August 4, 2014 #623 Share Posted August 4, 2014 you wish! Toyomotor is a great guy Well, we both agree on one thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis914 Posted August 5, 2014 #624 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Both you agree on the laptops or lap dances? Speaking of which, Hatopus is a local sensation on the stage with all her 8 legs and pole dancing techniques, although I'm not sure who taught her all her appeal.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyomotor Posted August 5, 2014 #625 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Both you agree on the laptops or lap dances? Speaking of which, Hatopus is a local sensation on the stage with all her 8 legs and pole dancing techniques, although I'm not sure who taught her all her appeal.... We both agree that toyo is a great guy. Mantis seems to have an unhealthy interest in Hatopus. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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