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Make up a lie about the poster above you (Part 2)


OverSword

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BrooklynGuy cried when Italy failed to get past the group stages in the world cup 2014, but stopped crying as soon as he saw something funny.

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My grandma always told me to count to 10 before I say something that might hurt people's feelings.

one two three four five seven nine ten

one two three four five *counts fingers* aha! six...

Oh, oh, that reminds me! Crow was born with webbed feet so his siblings made fun of him and called him Duck and it was so bad his father almost divorced Mother Crow because he started thinking Crow's father really was a drake.

It was like a soap opera, with feathers flying and presenting egg shells while shouting: "Does this look like a duck egg to you?!"

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Crow and I, we sang in the same choir when we were kids. It was a church choir and we were forgiven for changing the text because we had voices of angels. Fallen angels, but better fallen than no angel and little angels willing to stand still and sing the actual tune are so hard to come by these days.

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I was the one who clipped Helen's wings off. They are currently in my freezer AND I've heard her sing. :-/

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Brutal.

SpiritWriter hasn't been here for a while because the truth hurts therefore she gets no satisfaction from lying.

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Toyomotor is generous with money and charitable to strangers.

Now there's a LIE for you!

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toyomotor does have one Charity he gives hundreds of pounds to monthly. She dances down at 'Big Jobs', toyo's local stripper bar. Charity is a red head with every curve you could imagine. It's all fake, Charity used to be a man called Bob who managed the local shoe store where Bob used to serve toyomotor on a regular basis. For some reason he just kept needing new shoes every month.

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SpiritWriter and OverSword have been meeting secretly for years.

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Listen to toyo, he knows. In fact, he has all the details about them meticulously written down under the photos he took, sometimes through binoculars (that explains rather strange composition of said photos), sometimes from unbelievably short distance. A lot shorter than 300 feet the judge told him to keep.

Edited by Helen of Annoy
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Toyo tried to sell the pictures and documentation to Helen because he didn't realize that Helen was the one that introduced SW and I at a straight pride parade years ago.

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It was short-sighted pride parade, actually, and OS being long-sighted was waiting with a coctail to add to the festive atmosphere.

I thought it was my chance to get rid of SW for good and pushed her in front of OS, knowing he throws like a girl with fresh manicured nails. It startled OS and instead of throwing Molotov, he dropped it. Right behind his back, his ass catching fire. SW helped him put the fire out and then it was like in that fable with lion and the mouse who took a torn out of his paw, except that she's far too big for a mouse. A well-fed capybara, maybe.

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Helen won the Miss Beachgirl Contest a couple of years ago. She and Ameratsu competed between themselves to see who had the smallest bikini. (Sigh).

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toyomotor has been studied by Scotland's top psychologists who just can't figure out how to keep his hand out of his pants short of amputation.

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OS is extremely jealous of toyos liasons.

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If he knew how horrible it itches and stings when you pee, he wouldn't be so jealous.

Speaking of stinging, toyo was stung by a bee. In the most private part of his body. He cried when the swelling started to disappear.

(I won't tell you how he got stung by a bee there, because you'd lost your appetite for icecream and it's still summer. It would be a sin to do that. Maybe when the autumn comes.)

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Helen is not even close to being the most demented person I've ever associated with.

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OS had his caretaker's phone number tattooed on his palm so the kind-hearted finders can easily return him to safety.

At first he'd write it down with marker, but it kept wearing off so he decided to have it tattooed.

And then he gave the wrong number to the tattooist. Of course. Twice. So had to have the correct number tattooed on the other palm because he had the first option filled up with crossed out numbers.

But he noticed the girls think these are his exes' numbers so it kind of doesn't look as bad as it is.

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Helen may not be the most demented person on this forum, but sh'e close.

(And that's no lie)

Helen's my masseur.

Edited by toyomotor
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:sk Ameratsu, Helen, StRooster and I all find telling lies about our online "friends" distasteful and depressing.

We find people telling lies about us outrageous, defamatory and insulting.

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However toyomotor finds the truth too painful to suffer through.

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I tripped over his wrinkles and can't get up :lol:

See, there he goes again. It's because I caught him running around his back yard wearing female panties and bra.

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