+OverSword Posted May 9, 2014 Author #126 Share Posted May 9, 2014 MSG lives to watch NASCAR races. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patient Zero Posted May 9, 2014 #127 Share Posted May 9, 2014 OverSword begs to watch it with me, but i'm not buying light beer! Watch your figure on your own time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis914 Posted May 9, 2014 #128 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I've been trying to call you guys to come over also and drink some brew and watch Wipeout however, every time I call MSG's number, it's redirected to one of those 1-900-call-me numbers... no wonder MSG thought I was pranking him and here I had a fifth of whiskey too... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted May 9, 2014 Author #129 Share Posted May 9, 2014 (edited) Mantis invited me over and said he had a fifth of bourbon. When I arrived he looked at me funny and said "yeah, I have a fifth, why didn't you bring something to drink for yourself?" Edited May 9, 2014 by OverSword 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted May 9, 2014 #130 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Oh, yes, sure, you can drink that, OS won't mind. He won't remember how much he left in the bottle when he went to the closet. Of course, he thought he's going to toilet, but that's his house so who are you tell him where his toilet and where his closet are. Or what he'll do in there. Just drink up and shut up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted May 9, 2014 Author #131 Share Posted May 9, 2014 That is how people in Croatia talk to their guests. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theotherguy Posted May 9, 2014 #132 Share Posted May 9, 2014 OverSword gets sick off of anything stronger than apple juice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted May 9, 2014 #133 Share Posted May 9, 2014 theotherguy saw the other guy in the mirror and said: "My god, are you ugly one..." and the other guy punched him in the face. Then he woke up and smiled, thinking what a childish, silly dream that was. And went to the bathroom, like most people do in the morning. There, where the broken mirror was waiting to cast many fractured reflections. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted May 9, 2014 Author #134 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Helen is Franz Kafka reincarnated. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted May 9, 2014 #135 Share Posted May 9, 2014 OS actually read one whole story by good old Franz. It was an accident, the title said "The Metamorphosis" and since OS didn't know what it is, he assumed it must be something dirty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted May 9, 2014 Author #136 Share Posted May 9, 2014 (changing into a giant cockroach isn't dirty?) Helen of Annoy fears that if she lets anyone get too close to her the will go insane. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Re di Spade Posted May 9, 2014 #137 Share Posted May 9, 2014 (edited) Dirty or Dirrrrty? Actually Helen of Annoy is Christina Aguilera. She told me in a PM. OverSword is Helen/Christina's bodyguard. She pays him to keep people far from her so that they remain sane. Edited May 9, 2014 by Re di Spade 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted May 9, 2014 Author #138 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Re di Spade loosely translated from Italian means "that dude's face looks like he was hit with a shovel." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted May 9, 2014 #139 Share Posted May 9, 2014 OS learnt Italian when he had a boating accident in front of Lampedusa and spent some time explaining to the authorities how come he had 500 passengers on board of a vessel registered for two fishermen and one fishing net. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Re di Spade Posted May 9, 2014 #140 Share Posted May 9, 2014 (edited) Helen of Annoy wants to kidnap my inseparable hopping cat, HELP!!! Edited May 9, 2014 by Re di Spade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted May 9, 2014 #141 Share Posted May 9, 2014 (edited) It's not kidnapping if I'm only returning it to its actual owner. Not that cats have owners, it's more like they own people. Now you know, Re di Spade stole the cat hoping that since it's black no one will be able to tell if that is the stolen cat or "I swear, it's not the stolen cat, it was born in my own wardrobe". Edited May 9, 2014 by Helen of Annoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted May 9, 2014 Author #142 Share Posted May 9, 2014 The truth is Helen only stole that cat because her great grand nephew is getting tired of eating human stew 3 meals a day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted May 9, 2014 #143 Share Posted May 9, 2014 It's your fault. You were supposed to deliver pizza. Large, with everything except damn pineapple. How can you put that on a pizza? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis914 Posted May 9, 2014 #144 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Helen simply can not stand pineapples because nobody ever told her how to eat one and she and hatopus tried to swallow one whole which resulted in another call to the paramedics. After that, pineapples became her mortal enemy... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted May 9, 2014 #145 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Look who's talking. Mantis had a hard period in his life, he was broke. So broke he couldn't bring himself to open the can and eat the spam, because he knew he won't be able to buy another. So he swallowed the can. And waited for nature to take its course. Then swallowed it again. Don't look at me like that, it was he who did it, not me, and besides, he'd wash the can, he's not a savage. After a while he noticed he's losing weight but still he'd feel quite full. So he wrote a book about spam diet, it sold pretty good and Mantis was out of financial troubles. Now he could buy all the spam he likes and open the cans. Which is exactly what he did. Yup, he's fat again. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astra. Posted May 10, 2014 #146 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Helens been considering wearing a land animal on her head instead of calamari. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted May 10, 2014 #147 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I. was. not. Astra can tell the difference between calamari and an octopus. She's actually a marine biologist. At least that's how they called her in a bar near the base. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patient Zero Posted May 10, 2014 #148 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Helen and i went out dancing one night. Sorry again, for steppin' on your toes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted May 10, 2014 #149 Share Posted May 10, 2014 MSG wasn't that happy to see me, it was a banana in his pocket. Ever since he read somewhere that lack of potassium can lead to fatigue he carries an emergency banana around with him and indeed, his social life has become much more lively. Disappointing in a way, but lively. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patient Zero Posted May 10, 2014 #150 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Um, Helen. i left the emergency banana in the car. Thanks for not calling my 'happy to see you' to everyone's attention on the dance floor. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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