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Thoughts on suicide?

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Cookie Monster

I'm talking about the deliberate kind, not accidental. I feel that it is the greatest act of selfishness one can commit. The act will terrorize the deceased's loved ones for ever. It accomplishes nothing but to escape any and all responsibility and dumps it on those left behind to deal with wether they want to or not, wether they can or not. Nobody deserves to be put through that. It's horribly unnecessary.

I've been censored and condemned to hell in another thread for voicing that opinion. I hope a dedicated thread is ok. All I want to know is how other people feel about it. Please do not mention names of those guilty of the act, famous or otherwise.

When they look at the brains of people who committed suicide there are changes in regions associated with severe psychological and emotional abuse during childhood. It usually is the parents.

The kids get inducted into negative thought loops and as the brain develops the thinking patterns become engraved into them. The result is adults with emotional problems. Cognitive therapy is where they are taught new thinking patterns and this remoulds the brain to a certain degree. However it has limited success in severe cases of depression.

Edited by RabidMongoose

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FollowTheTrail

Let me try to write my own perspective on this issue.

I, as well, have tried to commit suicide in the past. It was many years ago, but i still remember it very well. It was at one time, when i had a quarrel with my father, as it frequently happens even now. At the moment though my mind wasn't thinking so clearly and therefore i tried to do an act like this. It didn't work out and i honestly have to say fortunately.

Fortunately because of one thing. I don't see a part in my life, that doesn't suck (at least a little), i am not the person, who one could call optimistic, but i am here. I am here, because i was born in this world not to be the servant and the dream maker of others, but to have my own dreams and try to fulfill them. Life is about that important detail. Having your own dreams and not let anyone interrupt your effort to make them come true.

At the other hand, i know very well, that a person who suffers from depression will not see things the way that i see them right now. I totally understand those persons, because i've been there.

The life of the persons who commit suicide or think about doing so, is not in the perfect state of being. That's not their fault though. You can't blame them for that. The thing they need to realise however is that suicide is not the answer. Suicide is not the solution to the problems of life. The solution is to stay here and fight. I know exactly how difficult it is, and i can say with absolute certainty that it's extremely difficult, but you know what? It's all about your life. Your own life is gonna be wasted, if you commit suicide. The people who have caused you problems, will find another one to cause problems to. But what about you? You'll waste your own life for other people's sake?

My point (and i apologize if my text was long enough) is that i'm not in favor of suicide, because life is about experiencing your own reasons to live. It's not (of course) a selfish act, but rather a desperate one. Your self is an inexhaustible source of strength. My point of view lays on not letting other people make you think, that you can't use your own personal strength and powers. Life is yours to live!

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quiXilver

In the end, there is only one real philosophical question:

Do I continue living?

all others are subsidiary to it and that question is asked repeatedly in life... life seems designed in fact, to present situations where this exact question will be unavoidable.

reach out.

grief lessens as it's shared

where joy increases.

reach out.

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Donnie  Darko

I don't think it's a selfish act...or maybe in some ways it is? I've come close once before back in 07 so I understand the other side of it too. It was an intense depression... and even after when I was getting treated for it, I was very angry I didn't die. I was mad at myself for telling a cousin about it and not doing it more privately. I had tried to OD and swallow tons of pills etc... Long story short, eventually I overcame it. Sometimes I do go through sad times, but never again those deep dark thoughts of suicide.

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seeder

There are some heated debates on matters like this, for sure, especially in Parliament, about assisted suicide, for those who have debilitating painful conditions, terminal cancers, or things like 'locked in' syndrome

In Switzerland you have Dignitas (they help those with terminal illness and severe physical and mental illnesses to die assisted by qualified doctors and nurses. ... They have helped over 1000 people die in suicide clinics in Zurich)

So is that OK? I mean youre in constant pain, or youre totally crippled up and twisted and cant even take a pee by yourself? I think if I were in a condition like that then yes, I can see no real point in continuing living. More importantly though, is that for people who want assisted suicide, sometimes, family members accept it as being the best thing.

So do we say, well suicide is OK in "that circumstance"?

Sometimes being a twisted up cripple with no hope for a future, can be 'all in the head' too

.

Edited by seeder
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quiXilver

There are some heated debates on matters like this, for sure, especially in Parliament, about assisted suicide, for those who have debilitating painful conditions, terminal cancers, or things like 'locked in' syndrome

In Switzerland you have Dignitas (they help those with terminal illness and severe physical and mental illnesses to die assisted by qualified doctors and nurses. ... They have helped over 1000 people die in suicide clinics in Zurich)

So is that OK? I mean youre in constant pain, or youre totally crippled up and twisted and cant even take a pee by yourself? I think if I were in a condition like that then yes, I can see no real point in continuing living. More importantly though, is that for people who want assisted suicide, sometimes, family members accept it as being the best thing.

So do we say, well suicide is OK in "that circumstance"?

Sometimes being a twisted up cripple with no hope for a future, can be 'all in the head' too

.

You make good points. I support assisted, conscious death myself.

As to the twisted cripple and uselessness part, that can indeed be all in the head...

Stephen Hawking comes to mind.

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toyomotor

When one's rationality is overwhelmed by hopelessness, and its either that, or nonexistence, I can theoretically understand why nonexistence would be preferable.

The decision to commit suicide may not be rational, but the sufferer cannot see that, and has given up hope of any improvement in their situation.

The Suicide Option is seen by the sufferer as the best way to go, freedom from all of their problems and releasing their familiy at the same time.

Even psychiatrists don't really know what his patient is going through, and the patients can't always explain it.

Depression sometimes can be impossible to live with.

Been there, done that.

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Still Waters

I'm talking about the deliberate kind, not accidental. I feel that it is the greatest act of selfishness one can commit.

What do you class say someone who goes out boozing and gets behind the steering wheel knowing full well that they shouldn't, and as a result gets killed in a car crash? That person who's got so drunk and takes his/her life in his/her hands, that person isn't caring about anyone else or how it affects those left behind. Surely that's an example of being selfish? not a person who kills themselves because of depression/mental issues.

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XenoFish

My thoughts on suicide. "What's the point?" it's a question that I've always asked myself at the darkest moments of my life. Because I've realized that no matter how bad things got in my life, if I fought (mostly internal warfare) I could make it through. After asking myself that question, I come to various realization that point to nothing worth killing myself over. We are only in the world for a season, so let that season pass naturally as possible.

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MrBene

Boys and girls, if you know or happen to know someone dealing with depressive thoughts, feeling down, etc. make a hole in your schedule and give some support, a hug, a word. It helps a lot and there are lots of people who don't have that.

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CuriousRey

This is a pretty touchy subject as it's quite obvious that opinions are going to vary based on their experiences. Personally I have been dealing with depression since the age of 14, I am now almost 30 years old and I am going through one of the toughest times in my life, not only am I going through one of the toughest times in my life i'm having to do it alone. I have no family or friends where I am due to moving here recently, I just split off an engagement with my fiancee of 3 years of whom I have a baby boy with and I've had to find a new residence to which I am not even remotely comfortable because of my roomates but financially it was my only choice. I literally go to sleep every night thinking about whether or not this life is real and how things are only good for brief glimpses of time and are easily overshadowed by the tough times. The only thing that keeps me from doing anything is the fact that I have a son and even though I don't have a particular set of beliefs, if there were an afterlife and I somehow had to endure the pain of my son knowing that I took my own life thus depriving him of a father.... The thought alone makes me cringe. So yeah, sorry about the rant but depression is debilitating sometimes and I can relate to why someone would want to end their life, I just don't think I could ever actually go through with it.

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Iron_Lotus

There's a simple litmus test here - ask anyone who's attempted suicide but survived about their thoughts and feelings at the time. Words and phrases like "desperation" and "no way out" are common. The word "selfish" is never part of the thought process. My mother suffered depression her whole life and attempted suicide. When talking of it she revealed such a dark hole in her life that was so deep and dark that she could not think of anything besides getting out, and when getting out was seemingly impossible, suicide felt like the only path available.

Suicide is the product of depression, a disease of the mind every bit as real as cancer. Would anyone ever be labelled selfish for getting cancer? Only ignorance prompts one human to label suicide selfish for these exact same reasons. I'm glad my mother received the help she needed, and it makes me sick to my stomach that her suicidal action would be labelled by anyone as selfish. My mother was the kindest and sweetest and least selfish person to ever walk this life.

I'm going to stop writing now, before I say something I regret.

Its a complete and utter abyss theres no escape youre dying from the inside out every single day no hope no love no happiness just complete nothingness its horrible and it does feel inescapable youre beyond hope and you hate yourself more than words can describe.

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Paranoid Android

Its a complete and utter abyss theres no escape youre dying from the inside out every single day no hope no love no happiness just complete nothingness its horrible and it does feel inescapable youre beyond hope and you hate yourself more than words can describe.

indeed, I suffer from a milder form of depression than mum, though not so serious that suicide ever has been a realistic thought, but even so it can be tough. I should probably talk to a therapist but every time I think about it, I'll always say "I'll do it next time". World's best procrastinator.
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Iron_Lotus

indeed, I suffer from a milder form of depression than mum, though not so serious that suicide ever has been a realistic thought, but even so it can be tough. I should probably talk to a therapist but every time I think about it, I'll always say "I'll do it next time". World's best procrastinator.

Im glad youve never gotten that far man.

Just got a call 2 minutes ago friend I havnt seen in a few years died this morning just a few hours ago. Shot himself up with oxy and drowned in the tub. I ******* hate life sometimes.

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Paranoid Android

Im glad youve never gotten that far man.

Just got a call 2 minutes ago friend I havnt seen in a few years died this morning just a few hours ago. Shot himself up with oxy and drowned in the tub. I ******* hate life sometimes.

That sucks, right in the middle of this thread and everything. Hope you're okay. My inbox is always around if you want to chat sometime. Much commiserations to you :(
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Iron_Lotus

Yeah life has a great way of tearing your heart out of your ass doesn't it. Thank you for adding me as a friend and your kind words. Right now I think im just going to find some work to do and yeah just get back at it

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HerNibs

Deciding a suicide is selfish is an angry response from the living that it has impacted. (All IMHO)

When the individual is contemplating or committing suicide they aren't behaving selfishly in their minds. They have come to the conclusion that those they love will be better off without them in their lives. I believe that very few suicides are the "this will show them" type of suicide.

Committing suicide isn't the individual saying "I don't love you enough to stay alive and fight."

It's about the individual saying "I've fought for so long and watched you cry and be in pain because of my failings. I love you too much to continue hurting you."

Considering a suicide "selfish" is common response in survivors (for lack of a better word). It is a reaction borne out of anger and frustration. It is the survivor's way of of dealing with what they feel is their own failure to help or recognize the problem.

For those that feel Robin Williams was being selfish, I understand your reaction, but bear in mind, this is YOUR feeling, not what he was feeling.

The depth of despair and pain that a suicidal individual faces is unfathomable to many of us. It is a sense of being so lost and so out of control that the only solution is to "be gone". In their eyes it will end the pain of their families, end the stress and end the day to day fears about them.

It may not be rational to some of us but to them, it's the only rational thing left to do.

Again, all MY OPINION.

Anyone feeling these emotions - talk to some one, any one.

Nibs

Edited by HerNibs
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Quaentum

The decision to commit suicide may not be rational, but the sufferer cannot see that, and has given up hope of any improvement in their situation.

The Suicide Option is seen by the sufferer as the best way to go, freedom from all of their problems and releasing their familiy at the same time.

Even psychiatrists don't really know what his patient is going through, and the patients can't always explain it.

Depression sometimes can be impossible to live with.

Been there, done that.

Sometimes it's not depression but intense pain from some medical condition that has not and never will get better. To some the thought of living with the pain the rest of their lives is unbearable.

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Cookie Monster

Its a complete and utter abyss theres no escape youre dying from the inside out every single day no hope no love no happiness just complete nothingness its horrible and it does feel inescapable youre beyond hope and you hate yourself more than words can describe.

People cant step out of their minds to see the thought processes others go through during the day. It takes cognitive therapy before people prone to depression realise its caused by their way of thinking.

You dont have to think negative thoughts and feelings. You have power over your ways of thinking.

Edited by RabidMongoose
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OverSword

You dont have to think negative thoughts and feelings. You have power over your ways of thinking.

If it weren't for my ability to recognize this combined with St.Johns Wort, I may have done this stupid, thoughtless, and selfish thing myself. My stupid friend Mike shot himself in the heart with his pistol. He had been unemployed for a year, his wife had left him, he'd been forced to sell the house. He felt worthless. The thing is he wasn't worthless but he is now. Nothing can ever be done to make things better for him. I wonder how his 10 year old twin daughters are holding up? I should probably try to call their mother and see if she'll answer me yet. I'm not going to get into my own brush with this but I'm glad that I recognize it for what it is now.

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Wendigo Wangs

Life is a selfish thing. And choosing to end it on your own terms is a selfish thing.

I won't say it's cowardly, but I will say that it is most definitely Not courageous. Courage is doing something you don't want to do in the face of fear. And I can't think of a case where someone who did not want to die took their own life.

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Stubbly_Dooright

So many people here, OMG, telling their stories. I just want to hug you. I understand so much. Suicide is something I do not want to do. There are times, something inside overwhelms. And that feeling of assuming your loved ones are better off without you is strong. You think you see signs of betrayal and disinterest.

When someone kills themselves leaving little ones behind, they must of have had it real bad. When mine were young, imagining them crying for me kept me going, albait it was still tough. Sometimes I wonder the suicide just gets delayed, when the kids get older and independent.

It also makes me wonder who they could depend on in their time of need. Maybe they also feel that others weren't there for them. I am not saying blame them because one shouldn't, but what goes through someone's mknd when they no one to turn to. Years ago, living on a base, my husband deployed, feeling alone, no one there at a certain time, I wanted to end it all. I did think of my kids, but it was hard. So very hard. And I felt betrayed in so many ways. Sometimes selfishness can be viewed from the victim's eyes too.

Another inciendent this reminds me of, along with the loss of my friend, is a friend and roommate of a close relative. This person had physical issues, gone through a divorce and other things. The thing was, they were seeing someone, getting help. I was told, that the psychiatrist told this person one day they couldn't help them and recommended someone else. Professional help was stumped at your situation? This person hung themselves couple of days later. I always wondered what went through this person's mind, being told their case was hopeless to them.

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aquatus1

It's no secret that the percentage of those who have stronger relationships on the internet than in real life tend to have a higher number of people with mild forms of depression. Personally, I believe it is simple because it is a far simpler way of dealing with yet another variable in a life that sometimes feels like it is getting a bit too out of hand. I was 12 when a psychiatrist mentioned to my parents (but not to me) that they might consider pharmaceuticals to help me with some social issues I was having, but they decided not to go that route. My entire life I have known that there were times that I would become mildly depressed, but it was weak enough that I would actually be able to "talk" my way out of it and simply wait for it to pass. That doesn't mean it was in any way less depressive; tolerating pain isn't the same as making pain go away.

I'm 41 now, and frankly, I am tired. It takes a surprising amount of effort to simply go about your business as normal when a wave of depression hits, and I thank my lucky stars I don't have a clinically debilitating level of it. A few years ago I began taking a mild anti-depressant, and my quality of life skyrocketed. All the energy that had to be held in reserve is now available for me to use in other aspects of my life. There is a downside as well; if I am caught without my medication, the depression feels even stronger, whether because I am out of practice with dealing with it, or because it is actually getting worse with age, I don't know.

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