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Helen of Annoy

Answer a Question With A Question (Part 3)

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Helen of Annoy

Can't you just tell him the truth and be over with it?

Or should I?

All right, I'll do it - listen, third_eye, the truth is mskate must keep everything nymphs said a secret, or the ancient curse will make her lymph nodes swell to the size of golf balls, which doesn't sound that bad until you swoosh the medical encyclopedia out and see all the potentially painful places the little ****ers are - lymph nodes, not nymphs - so how about you just follow my instructions and go as you please?

Who has ever been lost if they followed their own whim?

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third_eye

You mean 'Not all who wander are lost' ?

Say ... you've been mucking around with that funky beard they call Gandalf the White again haven't you ?

I bet you nicked that lymph nodes swelling spell from him didn't ya ?

~

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Helen of Annoy

Never get to use it, really, it's all the routine gonades swelling spell and what do you need to perform it? One good leg to stand on and the other one to kick them, where's the challenge in that?

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third_eye

Oh I can think of few that compares , the said nymphs are still involved in this routine swelling of the gonades performance still , I presume ?

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mskate

this routine swelling of the gonades performance still , I presume ? Are you presuming again??

(just kidding) not really?

Hi third eye! *smile

Edited by mskate
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third_eye

Hang on ... let me get my Space Age Carbon synthetic jock strap on ... I ain't getting near you till I suffer those kicks Helen mentioned ... you wearing those steel cap boots?

~

Hiya mskate ~ how's the m skating ? :D

*body wave*

~

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Helen of Annoy

Probably better than me, I have a history of falling on ice, so is your camera ready?

How about you take two, just in case one of them fails?

Though if you really want a spectacular video warning about dangers of steel capped boots, shouldn't you record me in the summer, when I'm going swimming?

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third_eye

Wow the sea urchins there must be formidable ~ why should I have my camera ready ? YOu wearing that skimpy outfit that almost started the war again for Crimean Coast ?

~

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Helen of Annoy

Our sea urchins are formidable, but then again, what sea urchin isn't formidable if you have a close encounter with it?

I stepped on one when I was a kid, it was so long ago they haven't fully evolved yet into their today's form, but I still remember how long it hurt, until I got the last damn spine out of my foot, ****, ****, ****, what was god thinking when he made those?

A war? Huh? Which one? *looks around, tentacles swinging* Ah, that one... nah, wasn't that one started by a topless man?

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third_eye

Thank you for reminding me ... so that topless man was more attracted to your steel capped boots that particular day ?

~

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Helen of Annoy

Don't be silly... don't you know the rich are reality-blind and they only see people if they are inside expensive cars, glittering with gold and diamonds, flashing ridiculously expensive watches they can't really read?

So? Have you ever seen someone as invisible as me? *adjusts tentacles in front of empty mirror*

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third_eye

You missed a spot ... say ... did you had your tentacles done ? I like the new color ... or was it a case of too much balsamic vinegar again ?

~

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Helen of Annoy

I read that as blasphemic vinegar... no wonder... have I told you about the vinegar I regularly get as a present from a monastery? They make it from mass vine, so I always jokingly ask if someone wants their salad blessed a little more and such, now, it's not blasphemy if you ask me, but then again - who asks me?

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third_eye

Oh I dunno ... you have been ignoring that topless guy ... on that note , have you heard anything lately from that guy that didn't get you any flowers on that blind date all those months ago ?

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Helen of Annoy

Why should I talk to someone through ouija board if I wouldn't talk to him even if he was alive?

Kidding. I'm a married woman - and ugly! if I wasn't ugly, would I wear a hatopus on my head? - how about we don't give any false hopes to guys who would not only date, but also bring some flowers?

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third_eye

What do you have against flowers ?

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Helen of Annoy

Who said so? Who could have anything against flowers?

Haven't I told you before about that time I held a small ficus in my hands for the entire five-hour drive? Only to have my cats p*** on it? I saved its life by immediate shower, twice, now you tell me if there's any hate in that?

Or how about my roses and the horse manure routine every spring?

("I'm not driving that in my car."

"Yes, you are driving that in our car, it's fermented and inside sealed bags."

"It's not sealed, it stinks."

"Well, it's ****, how could it not stink?"

"So, I'm not driving that in my car."

And so on, in the end he drives that in our car, because isn't true love also putting up with your One's ****?)

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third_eye

AHhhh indeed ... and a lot of **** comes along with love as true as that ... is that also why the God loving people loves GOd so truly too you think ?

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Helen of Annoy

Well, maybe that what we call god/gods created the man to their image, but isn't it clear that the images of god are being created by man, to his image?

So, why are we still amazed with the horrible image of god held by the corrupt and stupid?

How can soulless garbage of evolution ever comprehend there's an actual existence behind that, what is only a hollow name "god" to them, a childishly painted thin coulisse supposed to hide their physical repulsiveness and spiritual misery?

How else, but through direct act of an actual god, could they be introduced into the realm of full existence, instead of biomechanical tiny world of horrors?

And since that what we call god/gods acts directly in the most mysterious ways, through surprisingly camouflaged vessels, could you pass me my shotgun?

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third_eye

Not til you promise me you ain't shootin' at no critters in the image of god ... and not so loud .. I know their god don't hear too well but you think their god won't hear you ?

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Helen of Annoy

Don't you know by now I'd rather shoot myself in the head than hurt an actual child of an actual god?

Besides, my god is quite deaf too, they say he sleeps now and there're no shouting of this world that can wake him up, only the purest prayers of the purest souls can do that but how can we ever have the purest pray when the darkness sniffs them out the moment they are incarnated and does its best to break their bodies in futile attempts to break their souls?

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third_eye

You have been watching old episodes of 'Friends' all night again haven't you ?

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Helen of Annoy

How did you know what fuels my fire?

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third_eye

You sounded just like Phoebe singing one of her songs ... will you be recording a performance for youtube soon ?

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Helen of Annoy

Nah, my employer takes care of that, they just installed new security cameras so don't I totally expect my Egyptian walk to appear soon on YT?

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