'Feminist "Dont offer girls drinks"

[Iron_Lotus 10,904]

Oh my god. That is really sad. I never saw it that way before.

I totally take this thread back. I'll admit it.

for some reason your post just made alot of sense to me.

its all in the approach man because *******s have unfortunately ruined that whole hello miss can i buy you a drink it's not looked at anymore as a nice guy wanting to buy a drink and converse with a lady its now looked at as hey im going o get you drunk and were going to go have sex now.

so there really is nothing wrong with you trying and being nice to a woman but its the approach instead of a drink say hello ask her if shes enjoying the party or whatever make a joke about the super drunk guy falling down in the corner lol there's so many other options beside alcohol. good on ya though bud.

[lolaivanna 210]

on an extended note on my reply same goes for the guys they can be just as prone to the dangers too..i live in London and some women can be just as persistent as the men . you never know for sure who you can trust in these type situations . just my opinion .

[LV-426 9,293]

humor goes a long way and yeah the overly cool and smooth guys are just overly alpha male douches who are looking for a woman to take home and usually have little to no respect for you anyways.

i watched one girl yell at a guy in a bar she told him to **** off and get out of her face and asked him if she looked poor and that she can pay for her own drinks, never seen anyone look so defeated lol but im pretty sure he was being far too persistent but i think more women should speak up like that make it known that there's a guy causing problems be loud and tell them to **** off if they are really creeping you out or making you feel uncomfortable, I've seen women give meek answers before and the guy just ends up plopping his ass down next to them. its pretty sad.

Phase 1: A smile and a polite "No thank you."

Phase 2: No smile and a firm "No."

Phase 3 (optional): A glower and an unambiguous "NO!"

Phase 4: A karate chop to the neck and a swift kick to the dangly bits, tap dancing on their prostrate body for added effect if necessary.

[Michelle 22,830]

humor goes a long way and yeah the overly cool and smooth guys are just overly alpha male douches who are looking for a woman to take home and usually have little to no respect for you anyways.

It's like the women who dress to the nines, all made up practically asking to be picked up. My girlfriends and I would go out to have a couple of beers, without changing clothes, after hiking in the woods all day. We'd get hit on left and right and these women gave us looks and if looks could kill we'd all been dead a loooong time ago. It helps not to look like a vulture.

Edited January 11, 2015 by Michelle

[Iron_Lotus 10,904]

eyes first my man then the balls you may not be so lucky going for the throat right away and if you put your thumb through the eye he wont be trying to grab you after. heels are good too swing for the cheek and tear.

Edited January 11, 2015 by Iron_Lotus

[danielost 8,881]

I agree with other posters, there must be better examples of over the top feminism. This doesn't even fall into that category. This is talking about not wanting to accept a drink from a stranger which is actually a very smart thing to do. If somebody is basically forcing you to take a drink from them it would be really stupid to drink it!

why does it have to be a stranger. if you know the person, you should still be able to say no.

[rashore 15,938]

Yeah, no means no. It seems nice to have anyone that isn't part of your group to bring you a drink- but it can be dangerous too. An exception to this can be if you pay the bartender for the gals next drink- sometimes- depending on the situation. And just no means no- sometimes bringing a drink is a red flag.. as in, if he couldn't take a polite no for an answer with a simple drink, how much other not taking no for an answer might he be willing to do?

When I used to go clubbing with my gals it was always we buy our own drinks, period. We stuck together when going to the privy too. But if a guy wanted to buy one of us a drink, it was a no, but how about we go dance? or how about you buy a round for all of us? This was a safety kind of thing, and just a good general precaution no matter what sex you are and no matter who is offering you a drink. So this can mean a guy offering a gal a drink, or a guy offering a guy a drink, or a gal offering a guy or gal a drink. I've known guys that were saying no and got the raw stick because of it too.

It isn't a feminism thing, though I too know feminists that get on it. It's just be safe when you party in public kind of thing. It's a have respect for other peoples boundaries thing.

I have had this scenario happen to me many times. And first I start out with a polite "no thanks", then a "I'm serious, no thanks", then l go to "do I really have to be obnoxious enough for you to call me derogatory names for you to stop?". Because what a lot of people don't realize, and this is NOT just men hitting on women is... when you keep pushing it till they get nasty with their no, you are instigating that nastiness. You are no longer the nice person with a nice offer.

I think it's a shame that this has been taken up as a feminist cry. It should be everyones cry- If someone isn't interested in your offer, stop. If a salesman calls you, and you say no- don't you get irritated when they keep offering? If your waitress offers you your free dessert and you say no, and she insists- don't you not like that?

Then why should it be any different in the much more intimate situation of thinking someone is cute and wanting their attention by offering them a drink?

[Kenemet 10,830]

Speaking as a woman, it's kind of creepy when people don't do as you ask.

It'd be okay if much later he said something like, 'I'm getting drinks for folks. Do you want one?" (however, "no" means "I'm not thirsty.")

A similar example is when you go somewhere to buy something (like a car) and they ask for ID and ask your name. You tell them the name you prefer (my husband uses his middle name) and they insist on calling you what's on the drivers' license. It's annoying. When they persist in it, he will often walk away.

If I say "no" and the guy came back with a drink, I would NOT feel disposed to talk to him (any more than my husband is eager to deal with people who don't respect his wishes to call him by his middle name.)

[jmccr8 19,460]

I don't buy people I don't know drinks nor do I accept them from anyone unless I know them quite well.My drink never leaves my sight and if I walk away from it for any reason I do not drink from it again,for some people it's not about sex they may want to rob you or just do it for giggles and sh**s,doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman.

jmccr8

[Careful_perspective 6,216]

I don't buy people I don't know drinks nor do I accept them from anyone unless I know them quite well.My drink never leaves my sight and if I walk away from it for any reason I do not drink from it again,for some people it's not about sex they may want to rob you or just do it for giggles and sh**s,doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman.

jmccr8

Unfortunately I know a guy who got Roofied at a party, it was really scary. I think it was an unintentional roofie, because he had ordered what is considered a girly drink, i'm glad he realized it and made it home safe.

[TheDarkerSide 521]

When I go out all my drinks are kept with me at all times. I do not accept drinks from strangers, and if a drink does turn up, which has occasionally happened. I will take it to the bar to be disposed of. Offend or not. It's a crazy world out there.

[The Id3al Experience 698]

Dammit, why can I never get the free drugs!

jokes

[MysticStrummer 1,023]

These women must love romcoms...

The story and your comment reminded me of this...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/romanticcomedy-behavior-gets-reallife-man-arrested,757/

[MissMelsWell 1,629]

I had a run in with a guy at a bar who "bought" me a drink a few months ago. It totally backfired on him. Let's preface this by saying that I can hardly be considered a "feminist"... I simply take care of myself and judge each situation as it comes up.

I'd been invited to a local pub to see a friends band play, and I'd never seen them play before. We had a booth seat, one of those big half circle booths that seats about 8. I'd jumped up to grab a beer, and went to the bar and some smarmy dude was standing there who clearly thought very highly of himself and he starts talking to me as I'm waiting in line. He was a total player. So I get to the bar and order a beer, dude throws down a 10-spot and tells the bartender "I got this one". I let him pay for it. So, I thanked him, and then he tells me he's the singer for the band. I about DIED laughing. He asked me what was so funny. I told him "Ya, I'm sitting in the booth over there with your guitar player and this beer is for my boyfriend, thanks!" and took off. LOL.

Point is, girls 1. think it's creepy when you ask them if you can buy them a drink when you don't know them and you're just hanging out at the bar or trying to worm your way into their evening. 2. If you buy without asking if you can, you might be buying her date a drink. LOL. Now if you've met a lady in a bar and you've struck up a conversation and she invites you to hang around, that might be different. You can buy a round. She likely will too. Welcome to the modern era.

[Hammerclaw 27,890]

I always took no for an answer. It's always a woman's prerogative to turn the no into a yes, once she gauges your demeanor and intent. Rarely led to anything significant, except pleasant conversation and not feeling alone in a crowd, anymore.