Arcana Posted April 3, 2015 Author #51 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Okay so my thinking was wrong. I was starting to think maybe the storyline was "reversed" so that the males in real life were females and the females were males...I think I just have an issue with all the violence surrounding Anna. I switched her character to be a male in real life and all the others she's involved with to be females. Not that it makes it any better or anything. I guess I just have a hard time with all the pain and violence she is experiencing I was I was mentally trying to make it different in my mind. I'm not even sure if any of this is making sense so I'm going to stop jabbering on My crazy mind was making up all sorts of things last night thinking of this story All the violence in Anna's life was real, along with the rejection from her family.No-one deserves to be treated like that, least of all poor Anna, but then not all life lessons are easy, nor should they be. Sometimes it takes a few attempts before the lesson sinks home. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Waters Posted April 3, 2015 #52 Share Posted April 3, 2015 All the violence in Anna's life was real, along with the rejection from her family. Wow 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
She-ra Posted April 3, 2015 #53 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Wow Still Waters- I know right?!?! You summed up my feelings too in one word. I keep coming back to and thinking of this story. I really admire Arcana for being able to write it. That takes a lot for him to have to sift through and put on paper. I can't even imagine. I also find myself trying to change things in my mind (see my earlier posts) like I don't *want* any of this harsh badness to be true so I'm trying to make it different in my mind. I can't explain it really. I hope Anna is safe now and has learned from these instances we are reading about. I am so sad for her poor little soul 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
She-ra Posted April 3, 2015 #54 Share Posted April 3, 2015 (edited) All the violence in Anna's life was real, along with the rejection from her family.No-one deserves to be treated like that, least of all poor Anna, but then not all life lessons are easy, nor should they be. Sometimes it takes a few attempts before the lesson sinks home. Oopsie. I missed this reply earlier. Sorry. I am so sorry all of this is real for Anna and the rejection from her family on top of all the physical violence and abuse is a hard thing to hear. NOT ONE living creature deserves this sort of treatment! And Anna seems to be such a mild and beautiful young woman...why does she keep falling into these abusive patterns? When does she finally stop this abusive cycle, re-claim herself - stand up for herself and LOVE herself to move forward without all this heartache and pain? I hope these "lessons" sink in soon or I'm sad to say she just might get killed! Very sad.Edited to add: I'm not saying she doesn't *love* herself, what I'm trying to say is she seems to have some self-worth issues and possibly is falling for the wrong sort of man because of self-esteem and self-worth issues? Edited April 3, 2015 by She-ra 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted April 5, 2015 Author #55 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Wow Still Waters- I know right?!?! You summed up my feelings too in one word. I keep coming back to and thinking of this story. I really admire Arcana for being able to write it. That takes a lot for him to have to sift through and put on paper. I can't even imagine. I also find myself trying to change things in my mind (see my earlier posts) like I don't *want* any of this harsh badness to be true so I'm trying to make it different in my mind. I can't explain it really. I hope Anna is safe now and has learned from these instances we are reading about. I am so sad for her poor little soul Oopsie. I missed this reply earlier. Sorry. I am so sorry all of this is real for Anna and the rejection from her family on top of all the physical violence and abuse is a hard thing to hear. NOT ONE living creature deserves this sort of treatment! And Anna seems to be such a mild and beautiful young woman...why does she keep falling into these abusive patterns? When does she finally stop this abusive cycle, re-claim herself - stand up for herself and LOVE herself to move forward without all this heartache and pain? I hope these "lessons" sink in soon or I'm sad to say she just might get killed! Very sad. Edited to add: I'm not saying she doesn't *love* herself, what I'm trying to say is she seems to have some self-worth issues and possibly is falling for the wrong sort of man because of self-esteem and self-worth issues? I would like to reply to SW and She-ra. I appreciate as women yourselves, you may not directly relate to Anna's experiences, but you may imagine what it might feel like? Anna's journey was given to me some time ago and she asked me to write it down for her, She preferred the idea of it being based on her life, though partly fictional. I have allowed Anna a preview of each piece I've written, before submitting it here, She has my utmost admiration and respect for allowing me to openly share aspects of her life in this story. BTW the real Anna wants me to tell you all, that the choices and decisions she made and their various impacts on her life, were to later be used for the benefit of others, during her spiritual counseling sessions and tarot card readings. She-ra, Anna is happy healthy and well, miraculously, considering the earlier years of her life and she agrees with what you said in your last comment.. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted April 5, 2015 Author #56 Share Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) Sanctuary Anna slowly came to, slumped on the ground, long locks of her auburn hair lay scattered across the floor, torn by the root from her scalp. She had nowhere else to stay now, after her previous fight with her father, she was not prepared to hear his finger wagging, “I told you so’s!” Anna was close to breaking point and her head was throbbing with rhythmic pulses of pain. The headaches she would continue to suffer into later years, would always serve a reminder of the hard lessons learnt, during Anna’s association, with her old ‘friend’ Frank. Anna’s return home to her parents house was not to be under pleasant circumstances, for as if things weren’t already bad enough, her father was diagnosed with malignant cancer, which was in an advanced stage and incurable. Though Anna’s relationship with her father had involved an uneasy alliance of silence for the main part and never been all that close, she still couldn’t bear the thought of not being there with him, knowing he was dying. So with a heavy heart, Anna was to return home to her parents yet again. She remained close by, until her father’s death a few months later. The thing that haunted Anna, was the memory of visiting her father in hospital as he lay on his death bead, being slowly eaten away by cancer. She arrived to find her father was asleep in his hospital bed, having succumbed to the morphine. Anna waited and waited for her father to come round, but he seemed so far away. As was Anna’s way, always being one to offer comfort, even though it was seldom returned, she struck up a conversation with one of the neighbouring patients. The other patient was an elderly lady named Marge, who lived entirely alone and had no friends or family to visit her, she already seemed dead to the world in so many ways, Anna thought to herself, she was reaching out to Anna for comfort, in the twilight of her life. It had been such a lonely journey for Marge. Anna wept for the old lady as she offered her words of comfort.”As this journey ends, a new one begins”, Marge told her with smile and a wink. Anna’s father had already drifted back to consciousness and was lying in his bed staring at Anna. Not one word passed his lips, as Anna noticed him staring at her, whilst she chatted away to Marge. For some reason Anna was unable to fathom, she continued talking to Marge while her father lay there watching. She eventually left without saying goodbye. As events unfolded, this was to have been Anna’s last chance to say farewell to her father, as he was pronounced deceased the following day. By then, Anna had just turned forty, but despite all her trials and tribulations, she still managed to somehow look younger than her age. She shone with a resilient beauty, that refused to surrender. Her smile lit up her entire face and lit the faces of those around her too, like a brightly lit candle, sharing its flame with another. Such tales of sadness lurked beneath her painted smile, for Anna had still not experienced true love. The nearest she ever came, was the unconditional love one of Frank’s dogs showed her, during her sentence to the loathsome Frank. It was towards the end of Anna’s time spent with Frank, that she had first started to seek comfort in spirituality, by visiting a local spiritualist church. She was invited to join an ‘open circle’ and had started to learn how to meditate, visualize, heal and tap into her higher intuition. This opened new realms of possibilities to Anna and she found it helped her to cope with the constant car wreck, she called a life. It offered her a tiny splinter of light, in the darkness that surrounded her. It was around that time that Anna began to manifest her ideal man in her visions, someone who was interested in her spirit more than her looks……though also remarkably handsome, of course. She would see brief glances of his face, his eyes and his lips. He was every bit as real to Anna, as the fairies that peeped at her from the garden. Anna was finally to receive her first break, when she received a letter from a local housing agency, offering her a flat. It didn’t matter too much where it was, Anna saw a chance to be independent at last. It was only a few miles from her mother, whom she could continue to visit and call on the phone. Anna viewed the flat, ‘It was in a relatively rough area’, she thought innocently, as the drug addicts, dealers and prostitutes peered back at her, from behind their curtains. Yet there was something appealing too, there were beautiful trees and a poorly tended garden, that was mainly overgrown. It was filled with beautiful birdsong, that filtered through the urban rumble. It was an old, decrepit first floor flat, nothing special, but it was hers….. her very own sanctuary, where she answered to no one but herself. She rummaged through the local second hand dealers, until her flat began to look like a home. She had all the essentials and even won a brand new cooker and fridge freezer through a sales contest at work. She had a pet goldfish that she fondly called Cyd, after Cyd Cherise the renowned actress. She filled her flat with various stuffed toys, ranging from dogs to mainly teddy bears, which she kept in hoards. Anna’s drifts to sleep on her bed, were witnessed nightly by hundreds of glinting beaded and buttoned eyes, all silently watching, as they bid her ‘Goodnight’. Anna cozied up to her favourite bear and cuddled it to her breast, holding on dearly, as if it were a child, safe in her arms and loved. Magwa Anna was finally alone in her sanctuary. She explored her spiritual pathway further and journeyed inwardly, as often as she wished and without interruption. Anna was beginning to experience visions, they visited her lucid dreams, as vivid thoughts. During one such vision, Anna journeyed to a different time and place, taken back to a native Indian settlement by a beautiful mountain range. She felt as if she was watching events unfold in real time, while walking through the tribe, as they went about their daily business. They each looked up in turn, greeting her with a friendly smile. Beyond the rows of tepees stood a man, his long black hair blowing defiantly in the wind. He had such a magnificent presence, that carried an air of familiarity to Anna……. as if she already seemed to know him. In that tribe, in that time, Anna was herself an Indian squaw, married to the majestic Magwa. Magwa was the war chief of the tribe and shared a tepee with Anna and their infant son. They felt such happiness together, their simple lives were free from the trappings of civilization. They moved for the winter and went to the hunting grounds when the herds of buffalo came.,They were as one, with the land beneath their feet. Free and untamed spirits, their lives soared, like the eagles that flew above their heads. Magwa regularly led the tribes braves on hunting parties, winter would soon be arriving and they needed all the supplies they could find, before the snows set in. Anna watched them as they rode out on their horses. These were proud, brave, highly intelligent and deeply spiritual people. Their men were their warriors, protectors and providers. Their wives gladly bore them their children, cooked, cleaned and made them their beautifully hand stitched clothes. It was perfection to Anna, until the day the white men came! Magwa was away on a hunting trip and there were only a handful of braves left, to watch over the women and children. Unbeknown to Anna and the tribe, a gang of desperate outlaws, were drowning in the wilderness, as the first snowflakes began to ride the breeze. They had been on the run, trying to escape a posse, hot on their trail. It had driven them deeper and deeper into the wilds, until starving and desperate, they encountered Anna’s tribe. They watched the distant campfires burning, as the outlaws began their plans, to breech their slender defenses. Magwa and his braves were on the trail of elk, looking to feed the bellies of the tribe, having traveled far in search of their quarry. They sought shelter for the night, to continue the hunt the following day, before returning home with a wholesome feast of elk. The outlaws moved with an almost military precision, silently cutting the throats of the various lookouts on watch. By the time all the braves were killed, the squaws and their children, including Anna, had already started hearing the ripples of their drunken laughter. Some preferred guns, while others preferred the intimacy of knives. The squaws protected their children to the last breath, subjecting themselves to defilement and humiliation, for the amusement of their captors. The lucky ones died quickly, the others would be repeatedly brutalized in front of their screaming children, before the outlaws grew bored and shot them both. Anna helplessly watched the scene of carnage, as the outlaws indulged themselves repeatedly throughout that night, before finally setting fire to their village. By dawn, it was reduced to a smoldering pile of ash, next to the scattered, charred remains of the women and children. As Magwa journeyed homewards, he saw the smoke rising, far away in the distance. They raced their horses back to their camp, to discover the scene of horror that awaited them. One by one they dismounted and clutched the remains of their massacred wives and children, weeping inconsolably. When Anna saw Magwa, she was barely holding on to life. She told Magwa that she loved him very much. She also told how she'd been tortured, raped repeatedly, then stabbed with knives, as the white men laughed and watched her writhe. Their son had been murdered before her, while they forced her to watch. Magwa wept as he screamed, vowing vengeance to his ancestors. Anna remembers how tightly he held her, tears streaming down each cheek, until she had to let go. Anna felt that Magwa’s spirit was always beside her, after that vision. He was her perfect man and would guide and protect her, to redeem himself, from his guilt ridden lack of success, in a previous life. She grew convinced over time, that the sudden taps on her shoulder, or tugs on her hair, where really just Magwa, making his presence felt. Each time Anna told anyone about her experience with Magwa, she was met with repeated sneers of laughter. Anna resented this, as she had watched it all unfold in her mind’s eye and to her it was real. She eventually gave up on telling anyone about Magwa, except certain friends from the spiritualist church. ‘I’m not imagining any of this’, Anna thought to herself, ‘Why will no-one believe me?’ To be continued......... © Edited April 5, 2015 by Arcana 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Waters Posted April 5, 2015 #57 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Just when things start to improve for Anna, something else happens and it's like she takes a step back each time. Even in her latest lucid dream with Magwa, once again she gets hurt. I don't think we've heard the last of Magwa though, I think he'll be involved somehow in her future although at the moment I'm not sure how. May I just take a moment to say 'hello' to the real Anna who you said is reading what you've been writing? Hello Anna, it's nice to meet you I'd just like to say you're an amazing lady and I have great respect for you and what you've been through. Thank you so much for allowing Arcana to share your story with us. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
She-ra Posted April 5, 2015 #58 Share Posted April 5, 2015 I would like to reply to SW and She-ra. I appreciate as women yourselves, you may not directly relate to Anna's experiences, but you may imagine what it might feel like? Anna's journey was given to me some time ago and she asked me to write it down for her, She preferred the idea of it being based on her life, though partly fictional. I have allowed Anna a preview of each piece I've written, before submitting it here, She has my utmost admiration and respect for allowing me to openly share aspects of her life in this story. BTW the real Anna wants me to tell you all, that the choices and decisions she made and their various impacts on her life, were to later be used for the benefit of others, during her spiritual counseling sessions and tarot card readings. She-ra, Anna is happy healthy and well, miraculously, considering the earlier years of her life and she agrees with what you said in your last comment.. I just read your last installment - BRILLIANT again Arcana!!! Beautiful writing and imagery! I wanted to say HELLO to dear, sweet Anna!!! Thank you so much for allowing Arcana to write your story. I feel as if I know you intimately at this point and I wanted to send you some hugs and love! I am so sorry to read the horrors you have experienced in your life but I am glad you have met and have become close enough with our dear Arcana that you have allowed him to share your story with us I cannot wait to read the next installment and until then...love and light to you and all of yours 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarMountainKid Posted April 5, 2015 #59 Share Posted April 5, 2015 The part that touched me was, when Anna was visiting her father for the last ime, he silently watching her as she talked with Marge, then she leaving without saying goodbye. This was her last chance to say farewell to her father and he to her. I wonder what he was thinking in this scene, and what he thought as Anna left without a last goodbye. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted April 5, 2015 Author #60 Share Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) Just when things start to improve for Anna, something else happens and it's like she takes a step back each time. Even in her latest lucid dream with Magwa, once again she gets hurt. I don't think we've heard the last of Magwa though, I think he'll be involved somehow in her future although at the moment I'm not sure how. May I just take a moment to say 'hello' to the real Anna who you said is reading what you've been writing? Hello Anna, it's nice to meet you I'd just like to say you're an amazing lady and I have great respect for you and what you've been through. Thank you so much for allowing Arcana to share your story with us. Thank you SW. I told Anna what you said and she asked me to reply to you as follows : It's nice to hear from you too. Thank you for being concerned, my journey through life has been down a very rocky road. I can assure you I've learnt from it and as my work now involves spiritual counseling, I can use my life experiences to help others. I believe that we are placed on this planet to experience emotion and help each other along our journeys. Thank you Still Waters for taking an interest in my story. Much love, Anna. I just read your last installment - BRILLIANT again Arcana!!! Beautiful writing and imagery! I wanted to say HELLO to dear, sweet Anna!!! Thank you so much for allowing Arcana to write your story. I feel as if I know you intimately at this point and I wanted to send you some hugs and love! I am so sorry to read the horrors you have experienced in your life but I am glad you have met and have become close enough with our dear Arcana that you have allowed him to share your story with us I cannot wait to read the next installment and until then...love and light to you and all of yours Thank you very much She-ra, Anna asked me to say to you : Thank you very much, for your lovely kind words which I have taken to my heart. I would like to let you know that I am happy, healthy and well, I send you hugs and love back. I always seem to have been able to try and eventually remain positive through each disatrous relationship. Somehow I've always managed to let go of the hurt from past mistakes and completely sever it from my life, taking the lessons I learned forwards with me. Peace, Love and Light to you and yours too She-ra. The part that touched me was, when Anna was visiting her father for the last ime, he silently watching her as she talked with Marge, then she leaving without saying goodbye. This was her last chance to say farewell to her father and he to her. I wonder what he was thinking in this scene, and what he thought as Anna left without a last goodbye. You are right SMK, despite Anna's remarkable ability to release her past sour relationships, this was one experience that has stayed with Anna over the years. You have to understand that at that time, Anna was confused, battered and bruised, still recovering from a brain injury and her rapport with her father had never been as it should have been, since her early childhood. She was advised to pursue a claim against Mark after her car accident, while she lay in her hospital bed recovering, but no help, or encouragement were ever forthcoming from Anna's family at that time. Certain events have been omitted at Anna's request, that contributed towards her alienation with her father. Non the less, Anna does regret not having said goodbye to her father, while he was still alive. Edited April 5, 2015 by Arcana 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted April 5, 2015 Author #61 Share Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) The silver tongued salesman Anna still owned a car and by then, had started working for a double glazing firm, as a sales advizor. She made enough money to support herself and get by. Before long, Anna found that her friendly smile and soft sell, were beginning to pay dividends. Anna’s commissions began to soar, as she started feeling an injection of self confidence, creep into her dejected spirit. Her area boss was a guy called Paul, nothing much to look at and very young, with a tongue that could persuade a man with no arms, to buy a pen. He was fun to be around and had a strange magnetic attraction, though was not particularly good looking. It was his personality that captivated Anna, but unbeknown to her, Paul was known by many, as a bit of a Don Juan. It seemed to be the combination of youth and his fun loving nature that reeled Anna in, as before long they became firm friends, often going out for a drink together after work. Though Paul had often offered fleeting hints at sexual innuendos, he had never tried to force Anna into anything. It was after their first kiss, that he confessed he was married. Anna cooled towards him after hearing his admission, but still enjoyed being in his company and continued with her occasional, covert, after work meetings. Two months passed, then one rainy Saturday afternoon, Anna heard an unexpected knock on her door. Paul stood there dripping wet, looking like a drowned puppy. “I’ve left my wife for you Anna”, he said, putting her on the spot. Anna exclaimed, “Wh-a-a-a-t!!”, this was the last thing she’d expected. She had already made it clear to Paul, that their relationship would go no further, due to him owning up to being married. Furthermore, Paul was some eighteen years younger than Anna and she couldn’t see how it could possibly work between them. Anna was shocked, but ‘What was she to do?’, she thought to herself. She hadn’t asked for it, yet there stood Paul, dripping wet on her doorstep. He clutched a suitcase in one hand and a travel bag in the other, having burnt his bridges, with nowhere else to go…….so it appeared to Anna. She invited him into her flat and while he dried himself, he set to work on Anna, with his silver tongued, powers of persuasion. It seemed to make sense the way Paul put things. He would help Anna with the rent, split the bills and they would only need to run one car to and from work, since they already worked together at the same place. Obviously there was more to it than that, it also involved entering into a sexual relationship, Paul had told Anna how he wanted to care for her and show her some good times. Anna took the bait and Paul reeled her in, ensuring she was well and truly hooked. Although he was eighteen years younger than Anna, he looked older than his years. Anna on the other hand, looked much younger than her age, so as a couple, they didn’t really appear that amiss. Paul was earning good money as the area manager where Anna worked and she was earning good money herself too, having been promoted by Paul to area coordinator for sales. Between them they had enough to start saving. Paul’s only bank account was the one he held jointly with his wife, so he suggested putting his money into Anna’s account. Before long, Paul encouraged Anna to take out a fistful of credit cards and suggested they raise their overdrafts and start treating themselves to a few luxuries. Paul even bought Anna a brand new car for her birthday, then not wanting to feel left out, decided to treat himself to a brand new luxury saloon car too. Anna had started re-acquainting herself with some of her old friends, that Chris had alienated her from previously, including her old friend Pat. She’d known Pat for almost twenty years, having first met her, while she was with Mark. Pat and Paul didn’t appear to hit it off, their early interactions were uncomfortable to say the least. As time passed, Paul seduced Anna with his sexual passion and his ability to put her in a position, where she could earn plenty of money. Paul seemed to become entrenched in Anna’s life and finances, like some deep rooted, invasive weed. Paul had discussed with Anna ways of earning more money and suggested they start a new business venture together, offering professional promotions to business clients. Paul seemed to know what he was doing when it came to money and had a passion for spending it as well, Anna had noticed. The pinball wizard The relationship Anna had with Paul was very different in many ways, to her previous encounters. There was no arguing, or chipping away at each other. Paul was a devout atheist and had no interest in Anna’s spiritual curiosity, so he tried to woo her with money and sex instead. For some time Anna allowed herself to be blinded by Paul’s master plan for world domination, which promised riches beyond Anna’s wildest dreams. The moment they gave up their jobs at the double glazing firm, Paul’s proposed business venture seemed to fall flat on its face. Ironically their first assignment involved a promotion for a local double glazing firm, who were actually on the verge of going bankrupt, though Paul had been unaware of this at the time. When the time came to be paid for their promotion, the business appeared to vanish, as if it had disappeared into the top hat of some magician. It ate at Paul, why he hadn’t seen it coming and how it now placed both him and Anna, into financial difficulty. They were left with picking up the tab for the rest of the promotional staff they employed at the event, with their combined wages and all the other costs involved, this seemed to bite deeply into Anna's bank account. The previous cars Paul had so considerately purchased on Anna’s credit, were also dining on her overdrafts. Anna hung on, patiently hoping to see an upturn to their financial demise. But instead of an upturn, things seemed to just keep spiraling downwards. In the fourth year of their relationship together, Anna began to notice a change in Pat’s attitude towards Paul. The starchy silences were replaced with a kiss on the cheek, Anna noticed on one occasion, as Pat brushed against Paul, sitting by his computer. Workwise Paul had started working as a manager at another double glazing firm and Anna found a job working for the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, collecting charitable donations. During Paul’s position as manager at his new firm, he coincidentally employed Pat as one of his sales coordinators, often giving her lifts home, to and from work. During Anna’s employment at the double glazing firm, she had previously become acquainted with Sarah. Paul had also known Sarah and as more time passed, all Paul seemed to talk about was Sarah, for some odd reason? Anna was starting to have her suspicions about Paul’s lengthy business absences, as he travelled the country. By then, Anna was starting to look for ways to be rid of Paul and he was making it easier for her, with his constant blathers about Sarah. Anna bided her time, waiting for the next mention of Sarah’s name, to confront Paul once and for all. Anna did not have long to wait, it was a typical evening at Anna’s flat, where Paul spent most of his time glued to his computer. Anna never knew what it was to cuddle up and watch TV together, there had never been any deep level of intimacy between them, apart from during the briefest of moments, exchanged during sex. Paul started to blurt out the focus of his thoughts, Sarah was mentioned as usual. Anna looked Paul deeply in the eyes and calmly asked him whether there was more to Paul’s obsessive preoccupation with Sarah? Paul hesitated, caught totally by surprise, as if a truth torpedo had been launched at his integrity. Obviously the easiest words to fall from his lips, were the inevitable initial denials. Anna persisted, this was the opportunity she'd patiently been waiting for, to get Paul away from her. Anna told Paul that she had seen visions of Pat performing a sex act on him in his car. Paul’s initial speechless exp ression, spoke far more to Anna, than any words that followed. Anna knew that the moment Paul left, she was going to be facing a debt to repay. All her credit cards were maxed and she had the repayment of two cars, added to her name. Paul had syphoned off any pennies left in Anna’s bank account. She was broke and cursed herself under her breath, for allowing herself to be taken in for so long. “Thanks to you my credit’s now in shreds and there’s twelve grand of debt in my name Paul. I want this sorting out and you can pay off the repayments on your own luxury saloon car”, Anna stated. Paul shrugged and pulled out his wallet to demonstrate to Anna, that the only cash he had, was a solitary twenty pound note. Anna snatched it and said, “This will have to do for now, when can I expect to see the rest?”. “I’ll be in touch Anna”, Paul assured her, before vanishing into the magician’s top hat himself. That was the last Anna would hear from Paul, though she did eventually manage to persuade the finance company, to pursue Paul for repayment of his car. It was at exactly the same time that Paul was removed, that all contact with Pat suddenly halted. The phone calls, the text messages, they all ceased. Anna wondered whether it was guilt that caused Pat to disconnect from her life so abruptly, ‘Why else?’, she wondered. Years later Anna discovered that upon being thrown out of her flat, Paul had duly gone straight over to Sarah’s house, with some tale of woe. No doubt as he stood on her doorstep, giving her his best pitch, with a suitcase in one hand and a travel bag in the other, he’d looked with puppy eyes and told her, “ I’ve left Anna for you Sarah.” To be continued......... © Edited April 5, 2015 by Arcana 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVG Posted April 6, 2015 #62 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Anna is a remarkable woman with tons of heartache..I do hope she finds happiness as she has been through the ringer more than once... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Waters Posted April 6, 2015 #63 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Anna is a remarkable woman with tons of heartache..I do hope she finds happiness as she has been through the ringer more than once... I agree. It's hard to imagine how so much misfortune can happen to one person. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted April 6, 2015 Author #64 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Anna is a remarkable woman with tons of heartache..I do hope she finds happiness as she has been through the ringer more than once... I couldn't have said it better myself John I agree. It's hard to imagine how so much misfortune can happen to one person. Anna is proof that it can 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted April 6, 2015 Author #65 Share Posted April 6, 2015 The confident man A few more months passed by and Anna slowly began to overcome the financial aftermath, from her relationship with Paul. All her overdrafts were still maxed, but she was making steady progress with payment plans, paying off all her credit card debts. Anna returned back to spirituality, which was something that Paul had stifled, while he'd lived with Anna. Her visions seemed to grow in intensity and she re-established contact with Magwa. Anna would spend her days searching for a positive meaning to her life, reflecting on her past and trying to imagine a brighter future. Anna had still kept in touch with some of the friends she used to know, from back in her nightclubbing days, when she was a teenager. Sammy and Jo were two such friends, Anna would often chat to on the phone, Anna had already told them both that she had recently ended her relationship to Paul and they seemed determined, to entice Anna, into a girls night out. Anna hadn’t been out for a long time and wanted to keep a clear head, so she agreed to join them, on the proviso, that they didn’t object to her remaining sober that evening. “No problem Anna, it’ll be great to drag you away from your musty old flat. Just paint on your best smile, reach for your ‘glad rags’ and let’s party!”, Sammy and Jo purred. They met at a bar in the town, close to a nightclub, that they planned to visit later that evening. Sammy and Jo wasted no time, in gulping down wine, whilst Anna sipped her Perrier, with a sophisticated reserve. Last orders were being called and the girls decided to opt for the thrill of the dance floor. The bouncers on the door ushered the girls towards the front of the queue at the nightclub and gave them all fast passes through the door. ‘A touch of glamour can sometimes work wonders!’, Anna had thought to herself with a smile. Once inside, the girls headed straight to the bar, their alcohol levels drastically plummeting. Anna found them all a table to sit at and when they returned with their drinks, Sammy and Jo were laughing hysterically with each other, clearly they were steaming drunk. Sammy and Jo staggered to the dance floor, to get down, leaving Anna sitting by herself, to sip at her sober glasses of water. A man approached Anna and asked the usual, “Is anyone sitting there?”question. Anna replied and told him her friends were sitting there, but were just having a dance and would be back soon. The man calmly sat down and replied, “In that case, they won’t mind me borrowing it, while they dance!”, he said casually as he pulled up a chair close to Anna. Anna couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was something about this man that gave her the creeps. He was very pushy and always seemed to look away whenever he spoke to Anna, as if he was constantly checking his surroundings. Anna started to feel uncomfortable and asked the man to leave, stating her friends would be back shortly and that she wasn’t looking to meet anyone, as she already had a boyfriend. The man looked at Anna with a glare in his eyes, “Fine,” he said, “Then just let me buy you one drink, to show there’s no hard feelings”, he said with a smile. Anna politely refused at first, but the man seemed most insistent, egging her on with “Just one won’t hurt will it?”. Anna eventually thought this was the only way of getting rid of her newly acquired shadow. She agreed to accept the drink, if the man agreed to leave afterwards. The man seemed extremely confident and unruffled by Anna’s rejection, as if he’d heard her say no, but she’d meant to say yes. “That’s great!”, he said, “I’ll go and get the drinks.” You’re out Anna had noticed that the man was very tall, had a stocky build and was shaven headed. ‘Never in a million years!’, she’d thought to herself when he’d first started walking towards her. The man returned with the drinks, as good as his word, one for him and one for Anna. Anna gulped at the drink, hoping to down it as quickly as possible, to be rid of the pest. He seemed to happily keep pace with Anna and did not seem bothered in the least, than she was trying to get rid of him. There was a steely determination about the man, as he kept checking his surroundings. Anna decided to wind things up with an unscheduled visit to the rest room. ‘Surely he’d be gone by the time she got back’, she thought to herself as the room began to spin, faster and faster. Anna began to panic, wondering what was going on, as she hadn’t had a drink all evening? Her first sensations were like sinking, as if her mind was emptying down some unseen plug hole. She felt pinned to the spot, the best she could manage with her arms, were a flopping motion. Anna felt helpless, she’d been thrown straight into Wonderland, as the night club melted around her. Moments of darkness danced with awareness, as Anna’s mind began lapsing, in and out of consciousness. Anna woke up to see a man and woman staring oddly at her, as if they were attempting to ask her if she was alright? Anna was unable to reply, as she slumped back into unconsciousness. This was a typical sight, among the many drunken patrons, that frequented the club. Anna awoke again, to see the night club was nearly empty and everyone was leaving. The man who had pestered her earlier, was still beside Anna. He seemed to be the only person that was offering any help to Anna, who was unable to walk. He seemed to carry her from the night club and was quick to hail down a passing taxi, with Anna draped over his shoulder. Outwardly it may have appeared quite an innocent scene, in the weekend early hours, a concerned boyfriend, carrying his drunken girlfriend home, but alas, this was not the case. Anna lapsed out of consciousness….darkness! When Anna regained consciousness, she was being carried up a staircase, slung over the shoulder of her new host. He seemed to walk by a communal kitchen area, where a man sat playing a guitar, as rabbits hopped past on the floor. Anna fell back into slumber. When Anna came to, she was laying stripped naked on a bed. There were black bin liner sacks everywhere. Anna heard someone in the en suite bathroom, as the man emerged, still dressed. He hovered over Anna, like he was wondering which piece of her, to take a bite of first? The man bent down over Anna and started to roughly massage her breast, while bearing down his full weight, rested on one hand, placed around Anna’s throat. She could feel the life being choked from her, as she lay there helplessly, unable to muster so much as a scream. Anna felt this was the end of her journey, she seemed to have a moment of clarity, probably due to the rush of adrenalin, where she murmured a prayer for help, in her mind. The man was aiming to hear Anna’s death rattle, when suddenly he seemed to collapse, as if some powerful unseen force, had delivered a devastating blow. By then, the overwhelming fear of knowing that Anna had just brushed with death, seemed to give her a rush of determination to escape. She grabbed all her clothes that lay in a heap beside the bed and raced down the stairways . Anna threw on her clothes as best she could and stumbled from the house, always wondering whether her attacker was far behind. As if a passing angel had seen Anna’s plight and decided to intervene, a taxi appeared right on cue. Anna jumped in and stammered her address to the driver, who duly drove her home. As she collapsed through her front door, Anna knew who’d saved her life that night. This was to be Anna’s proof of Magwa’s existence, he was still reaching across time and space, to offer his protection. To be continued......... © 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
She-ra Posted April 6, 2015 #66 Share Posted April 6, 2015 (edited) Thank you very much She-ra, Anna asked me to say to you : Thank you very much, for your lovely kind words which I have taken to my heart. I would like to let you know that I am happy, healthy and well, I send you hugs and love back. I always seem to have been able to try and eventually remain positive through each disatrous relationship. Somehow I've always managed to let go of the hurt from past mistakes and completely sever it from my life, taking the lessons I learned forwards with me. Peace, Love and Light to you and yours too She-ra. Oh that is so good to hear and thank you for the hugs and love back I am so glad you have such a positive attitude - I find being positive really helps me too so I *get it*. I think moving forward in a healthy way in life has a lot to do with forgiveness. Not just forgiving others but moreso about forgiving yourself and being kind and gentle with any past things that have happened where you end up being hurt. This helps to move forward and onward to bigger and better things and to not stay stuck in the past. I think that is a true sign of a spiritually open person ready to *tackle* the world. It shows true character As always, peace, love and light to you Anna!Thanks for relaying our messages Arcana and I am on to read the next installment now Edited to add: Wow just caught up on the last 2 installments. Paul is a jerk and WOW! Anna got "roof-ied" ? Not sure of the spelling but the drug that knocks out the person. How horrible!! I am so glad she got away. I want to hear more about Magwa. Anna certainly must have some sort of guardian angel!!!! Oh my!! Edited April 6, 2015 by She-ra 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVG Posted April 6, 2015 #67 Share Posted April 6, 2015 I am not sure how Anna can endure so much pain and misfortune, I am sure she is a remarkable and caring person. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarMountainKid Posted April 7, 2015 #68 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I have sympathy for Anna, but on the other hand she's the one who gets herself into these situations. I know she's had a few knocks on her head, but I think she has to take responsibility for her poor choices in boyfriends. My sympathy for her lies in her inability to realize and correct her mistakes so far in the story. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted April 7, 2015 Author #69 Share Posted April 7, 2015 (edited) Oh that is so good to hear and thank you for the hugs and love back I am so glad you have such a positive attitude - I find being positive really helps me too so I *get it*. I think moving forward in a healthy way in life has a lot to do with forgiveness. Not just forgiving others but moreso about forgiving yourself and being kind and gentle with any past things that have happened where you end up being hurt. This helps to move forward and onward to bigger and better things and to not stay stuck in the past. I think that is a true sign of a spiritually open person ready to *tackle* the world. It shows true character As always, peace, love and light to you Anna! Thanks for relaying our messages Arcana and I am on to read the next installment now Edited to add: Wow just caught up on the last 2 installments. Paul is a jerk and WOW! Anna got "roof-ied" ? Not sure of the spelling but the drug that knocks out the person. How horrible!! I am so glad she got away. I want to hear more about Magwa. Anna certainly must have some sort of guardian angel!!!! Oh my!! Thanks She-ra. Anna has certainly had her share of bad experiences with men so far, can things get any worse for her, or maybe finally they're about to start changing for the better? I am not sure how Anna can endure so much pain and misfortune, I am sure she is a remarkable and caring person. Anna had no choice, but to accept the hands she's been dealt and try to learn from her past mistakes John. Anna had learned how to forgive and release her past, which paved her path towards salvation. I have sympathy for Anna, but on the other hand she's the one who gets herself into these situations. I know she's had a few knocks on her head, but I think she has to take responsibility for her poor choices in boyfriends. My sympathy for her lies in her inability to realize and correct her mistakes so far in the story. Anna's choices in men had all ended in disaster so far SMK, Perhaps now she has finally learned enough and will start to effect a change in her life, we will see. Edited April 7, 2015 by Arcana 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Waters Posted April 7, 2015 #70 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I have sympathy for Anna, but on the other hand she's the one who gets herself into these situations. I did think she should have been more wary about accepting that drink in the last chapter, in fact I was expecting it to have been spiked with something. Anna wasn't thinking straight at that point, she was too intent on getting rid of the guy and ended up in yet another bad situation for which I'm thankful she got away from in the end. I also think it's easier to see the dangers when you're on the outside looking in. Reading about it is far different from actually being in the story. Anna has had to act on her feelings and instincts a lot, and in some instances on the spot with little time to think properly. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarMountainKid Posted April 7, 2015 #71 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I also think it's easier to see the dangers when you're on the outside looking in. Reading about it is far different from actually being in the story. Anna has had to act on her feelings and instincts a lot, and in some instances on the spot with little time to think properly. Yes, it is difficult to think properly. Maybe this is why Anna has to act on her feelings and instincts a lot. Perhaps I'm looking at this story from a male perspective, and see Anna's behavior differently than some. Anna is the clueless female victim, and her vicimizers are all calculating men. I've seen this scenario unfold often in my life, though I've seen the reverse of this happen, too. I suppose it's just the way of the world. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted April 7, 2015 Author #72 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I did think she should have been more wary about accepting that drink in the last chapter, in fact I was expecting it to have been spiked with something. Anna wasn't thinking straight at that point, she was too intent on getting rid of the guy and ended up in yet another bad situation for which I'm thankful she got away from in the end. I also think it's easier to see the dangers when you're on the outside looking in. Reading about it is far different from actually being in the story. Anna has had to act on her feelings and instincts a lot, and in some instances on the spot with little time to think properly. Well said SW, 'Acting in haste and repenting at leisure'.are things that we all do from time to time. It is far easier to read about someone's mistakes and be critical, than to look at those made by ourselves. They may be different mistakes, possibly lacking the impact that Anna's had on her life, but it poses the question, is that by luck or design? Anna's errors of judgement may seem extreme, but they are far from isolated, as her current regular list of clients will attest. Yes, it is difficult to think properly. Maybe this is why Anna has to act on her feelings and instincts a lot. Perhaps I'm looking at this story from a male perspective, and see Anna's behavior differently than some. Anna is the clueless female victim, and her vicimizers are all calculating men. I've seen this scenario unfold often in my life, though I've seen the reverse of this happen, too. I suppose it's just the way of the world. I agree SMK, Anna's trust and naivety were her own worst enemies. I wouldn't call her clueless, after all, how many of us begin a relationship with someone to later find out it was a big mistake, most I would wager at one time or another in their lives. I think the speed at which Anna allowed these people into her life, allowing them to live with her, were her biggest mistakes, but then I've made a few of those myself over the years too. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVG Posted April 7, 2015 #73 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Some of Anna's faults come from her trusting and wanting to please and be accepted by others..Since this is her personality she expects the same in return...Only to be disappointed again and again.. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
She-ra Posted April 7, 2015 #74 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Some of Anna's faults come from her trusting and wanting to please and be accepted by others..Since this is her personality she expects the same in return...Only to be disappointed again and again.. I think you sort of nailed it and I'm thinking sort of a trusting naive-ness (?) In a way. Like, she looks for the good in people and maybe doesn't realize how bad they are or can be. It's like she doesn't realize it until she is in WAY over her head. I think this comes from a place of love though and giving others the benefit of the doubt. I think Anna is a great person and that others have preyed upon her positive outlook or maybe naive thinking with regards to no so nice people. Am I making sense? Can't wait to read more 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted April 8, 2015 Author #75 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Some of Anna's faults come from her trusting and wanting to please and be accepted by others..Since this is her personality she expects the same in return...Only to be disappointed again and again.. You are spot on with that observation John, beneath all the abuse, Anna wears her rejection like a reflective jacket, seen afar by all the jackals and wolves. I think you sort of nailed it and I'm thinking sort of a trusting naive-ness (?) In a way. Like, she looks for the good in people and maybe doesn't realize how bad they are or can be. It's like she doesn't realize it until she is in WAY over her head. I think this comes from a place of love though and giving others the benefit of the doubt. I think Anna is a great person and that others have preyed upon her positive outlook or maybe naive thinking with regards to no so nice people. Am I making sense? Can't wait to read more You are making perfect sense She-ra. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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