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Make up a lie about the poster above you (Part 3)


OverSword

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newbloodmoon walks around shopping malls with white and black spray paints, to remove unnecessary apostrophes or insert missing ones.

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Acute stores box fulls of these guides.

dsc01782.jpg

And then every Easter bank holiday sees him carefully cutting out a particular colour until hes got enough to cover a wall.

 

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Mark one is a scholar without a cause, nor does he have an accredited degree from Lycan polytechnic.  This hasn’t stopped him from selling his all nautural vitamin enhanced spring toilet water called bon apa’pee.

Edited by newbloodmoon
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Mark One is my twin cousin due to alien experimentation named Gloopnero Masstyplover Dinglebanarius but we call him Ned for short.

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Newbloodmoon once went on a disastrous blind date.  When he saw who he was meeting he wished he`d kept his eyes shut.

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Mark One of course had to blab to the world about our blind date. I wouldn’t expect he still had the £50 I paid to keep it quiet.

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newbloodmoon has become a self-employed Divorce Counsellor, because he's an expert at ending relationships.

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Acute likes burning wood.  Hes always outdoors come rain or shine enjoying his hobby.  Be it on his back garden or near some public skip, hes always ready with the firelighters and matches.  There he`ll be found in deep study, focusing on the flames which spit and crackle along some second hand sideboard or tree branch.  

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Mr Moore now thinks hes an author. He also likes burning, he likes nothing more than the smell of burning of ass hair its his absolute favourite. Miss moneypenny' are you burning ass hair again?

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Imrunningthismonkeyfarm had decided to be a rum runner and so he set off for tartuga. Once he got there, disappointment set in as it was explained that rum was now legal and there was no money in rum piracy.

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Newbloodmoon relives the same day over and over. As a reporter on ground hogs day. 

 

Wait, that was Bill Murray.....nevermind. 

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This bloke has got six toes on each foot and an extra thumb on his left hand.

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Mark One is excited by the extra toes and thumbs, it shows that sooth sayer is the reincarnation of an ancient near forgotten Hindu god.  Mark One will now make a pilgrimage and erect a shrine to his patron toe god.

Edited by newbloodmoon
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Everyone suspects that Newbloodmoons dentures are not what they used to be.  Hes put it about that he prefers his packet of salted peanuts crushed into small bits.

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Mark One has had an irrational fear of apples since John Prescott threw one at him in 1997.  He has a panic attack everytime he turns on his iPad.

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Acute likes to incite riots amongst troups of baboons. He does so by stepping out ftom behind a bush (the equivalent of a closet out in the wilds) and points with a malicious grin.

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Newbloodmoon once appeared on the British TV show: Homes Under the Hammer.

The property that Mr Moon won was actually a first for the television programme.   The tv shows host (Martin Roberts) was surprised when he met Mr Moon and found him stood next to one of these.

Mr Moons new Drum  

The interior was indeed limited but this didnt prevent the upcoming property tycoon from modernizing its potential.  Mr Moon described the outdoor electric boxes improvements.

20"x12" of reclaimed carpet.

A few pound shop stick on coat hooks.

A lick of some old white paint.

! battery powered radio, a gas powered cooking stove and a pound shop bread bin glued to one of the steel walls.

A tent extension option is also included to give the modern abode its own conservatory.

Mr Moon then keenly spoke about the surroundings.  Ample grass land - which is ideal for growing food.  A tree - not every garden has its own tree!  Public toilets -with free running water, only a 5 minute walk away.  And the best bit about this new drum is its exterior - top grade metal - and a dashing new paint job.

New paint job

The property cost him £75 with and extra £22.56p spent on bits n bobs.  Mr Moon firmly believes that his work on the box will attract many keen eyed drifters.  And he expects to recieve £111 once it has been sold.

 

 

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Mark is unable to sleep at night unless he has been round his entire neighbourhood, shaking all the cars until their alarms go off.

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Ouija Ouija like to swing from the chandeliers in her knitted monkey onesy before she hits the sack. This was because of a tellie hypnotist called Billy the Bleu Magoo. Everyone has embraced her new wild side,

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newbloodmoon is a comedian, and (until recently) he was employed by the White House as Sarah Sanders' warm-up man for the Comedy Hour press briefing.

Unfortunately, he was fired for doing Stormy Daniels material.

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acute never lets me ride in the front seat. <_<

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 4/4/2018 at 3:20 PM, Vanillon said:

Mark One is actually two Marks.

Your plural assumption carries more truth than lies though.  Take Merk or Mirk for example...but you would have had to have been here a very long time ago to see/meet them.

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