+OverSword Posted October 5, 2017 Author #1501 Share Posted October 5, 2017 newbloodmoon wanted to know if I feel lucky. I said no so he gave me his sister's phone number. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 5, 2017 #1502 Share Posted October 5, 2017 His sister is a therapist. Just like he told you. But OverSword chose to ignore that fact. Don't blame him, many people are happier if they simply ignore some of the facts. Until it costs them financially, emotionally, legally and lethally, but it's something that will happen one day, which is the same as never in an average brain. And this is how we got here. So, clearly, it's all OverSword's fault. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 5, 2017 #1503 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Helen knows all about therapists ..... she's been seeing one for years. Well, I say 'one', but actually she has seen many over the years. It's a little game she's playing and the rules are simple: the therapist has to dump her before Helen drives her crazy. So far, a good 50% of them have been carried away by men in white coats. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 5, 2017 #1504 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Ouija Ouija on a day out with another forum member 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 6, 2017 #1505 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Oh, thank you so much, I was running out of nightmare fuel. Mr Mork used to be a professional puppeteer before that table saw accident. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 6, 2017 #1506 Share Posted October 6, 2017 On 05/10/2017 at 9:04 PM, Mr Mork said: Ouija Ouija on a day out with another forum member Where did you get our that picture? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 6, 2017 #1507 Share Posted October 6, 2017 (edited) 36 minutes ago, acute said: Where did you get our that picture? < HERE > Acute had one of those moments where funds were drastically required to pay for a new fridge freezer/leaking roof/bailiffs/car break down etc. Time froze still around him and he instinctively reached for his phone to chance a payday loan. Sadly, his phone battery was too low and then died on him so he spent the next 5 minutes pick pocketing the statue like public. He soon had 20 times the amount needed, payed for the need and then went on a long holiday. Edited October 6, 2017 by Mr Mork 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted October 7, 2017 #1508 Share Posted October 7, 2017 (edited) Mr Mork once dug a hole that was 12 cubits long by 15 cubits wide, and 18 cubits deep. When he was done he realized he couldn't get out and slowly began to die of hunger and thirst. A few hours later when it was fully dark a family of moles adopted him and fed him their back dander and tuber juice. Mr Mork now has the family he has always wanted, since he's part of the rodent family just maybe the cute little squirrel dressed in a hot little gray fur number will finally take notice of him and his stockpile of acorns. Edited October 7, 2017 by newbloodmoon 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 7, 2017 #1509 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Newbloodmoon once smuggled a large kebab into work and then made several trips into the gents so he could tackle it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 7, 2017 #1510 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Mr Mork would never eat one whole large kebab. It's just too much, so he has only two small ones. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colectivo Posted October 8, 2017 #1511 Share Posted October 8, 2017 (edited) Helen of annoy is in to new ideas. She recently opened a revolutionary business its a dance club/winery a dance club with the ground made of grapes so people can dance all night and step on grapes to make wine. She saves a fortune in sallaries... Edited October 8, 2017 by Colectivo 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 8, 2017 #1512 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Colectivo thinks the humble crab is a super evolved, sea spider. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 8, 2017 #1513 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Mr Mork almost won the best grape crushing legs competition. If only he shaved his legs. If only. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 8, 2017 #1514 Share Posted October 8, 2017 On 05/10/2017 at 8:53 PM, ouija ouija said: Helen knows all about therapists ..... she's been seeing one for years. Well, I say 'one', but actually she has seen many over the years. It's a little game she's playing and the rules are simple: the therapist has to dump her before Helen drives her crazy. So far, a good 50% of them have been carried away by men in white coats. ouija ouija has outlived many of her therapists, and they always name her in the suicide note. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 8, 2017 #1515 Share Posted October 8, 2017 37 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said: Helen is a world-renowned medium, although she's actually a small. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 8, 2017 #1516 Share Posted October 8, 2017 This happy chappy once sold his cow in exchange for some powdered water. He then scratched his head wondering what to add to it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 8, 2017 #1517 Share Posted October 8, 2017 (edited) Mr Mork lost his ears in bar fights, each ear in one separate fight. But when he tells you how he lost his ears, he cuts it down to one bar fight because the whole story would sound really strange and statistically improbable. Edited October 8, 2017 by Helen of Annoy 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 8, 2017 #1518 Share Posted October 8, 2017 It pains me to say this, but Helen was the person who bit off Mork's ears! She bit the first one off in The Slug & Lettuce, took it home and added it to her cauldron brew. On discovering that the flavour of the ear was getting a bit lost, she set off for The Hand & Raquet(where Mork had moved on to), and promptly relieved him of his other ear. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galactic Goatman Posted October 8, 2017 #1519 Share Posted October 8, 2017 @ouija ouija Was once caught selling candid photos of people to the ever-popular TV show "Americas Wackiest Photos!", it was a decent living for her, until she was caught and was forced to feel into hiding on a Pennsylvania dairy farm. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 8, 2017 #1520 Share Posted October 8, 2017 (edited) Austinhinton once owned an Ant farm.. He soon gave it up though when he couldnt find a tractor (from his toy box) small enough to plough the soil. Edited October 8, 2017 by Mr Mork 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 8, 2017 #1521 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Mr Mork used to carry magnifying glass to the store, because he wants to read that ridiculously small print and make a point about it. Reading went fine but the point wasn't really made, so he started carrying a microscope, until he realized that it is too revealing. Being reminded that everything we touch is teeming with life is just too much for his taste. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 8, 2017 #1522 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Helen broke a mirror last week. Shes since been in touch with her solicitor and he has promised that he can get the 7 years bad luck reduced down to 4. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 8, 2017 #1523 Share Posted October 8, 2017 (edited) Mr Mork's inappropriate, unfitting, and frankly lazy, choice of avatar has kicked off a petition on youdonthaveanythingelsetoworryaboutdoyou.com, gaining 550,000 signatures. It will now be debated in Parliament. Edited October 8, 2017 by acute . 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 9, 2017 #1524 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Acute talks to his plants and growing veg - with a megaphone. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 9, 2017 #1525 Share Posted October 9, 2017 That reminds me, Mr Mork can play xylophone. Masterfully. He even uploaded few videos on YT, but they're mute, because he wants to show his skill but doesn't want people to listen to his music for free. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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