Psychic? Nut Job? On any given day, both?

[D8a]

Posted this in a forum but it's been inactive for a while, so I thought I'd have a go here.

I've always had an odd sort of ability to feel and sense things, as far back as I can remember. I was the weird little girl who mothers didn't feel comfortable allowing their children to play with because I "knew" too much (like when parents argued, information about people who died in the family, etc). I think over time, I stifled it in part because I figured out social mannerisms and how to keep my trap shut.

I always thought something was wrong with me. In undergrad, I signed up for every free test given out by the psych department and health clinic on campus because I was positive I had some sort of personality disorder that made me feel and sense things that just didn't vibe with my logical self.

Since my uncle died in 2009, it's been a jolt of activity. It's been incredibly difficult for me to control what I feel and sense. Examples: I've called out every pregnancy around me, from very good friends that I haven't talked to in weeks (work/life gets in the way) to coworkers who I am not close to. These women aren't "showing" and some of them I haven't even seen in person but I can feel it, somehow. The other side isn't as sweet. I can feel death now, too. Before someone dies, usually a week before or 24-48 before, I have an absolute mental breakdown. Each and every time this has happened since 2010, someone I am close to, or is close to someone I love has died, unpredictably - heart attack, car accident, etc. I feel like I am going insane and I can often pinpoint what will happen and who it will come through, even if not the exact person. I've thought about the fact I could be crazy. I always text my mother to have a record of what I think, hear, and feel for validation. Last time this happened was at the beginning of the summer back in May. I told my mom we would lose someone on my grandmother's side (perhaps even my grandmother) but I wasn't sure, I just knew it would be through my grandmother and would happen right before or right after my brother's wedding. I text my mother on a Monday night that I felt something coming "our" way and to prepare. My grandmother's brother died of cancer on the next day, Tuesday, before the Saturday wedding. I didn't even know he was sick. I struggle between thinking it's a coincidence, even though this has happened so many times and thinking I'm not crazy to thinking I'm raving mad. But regardless, the pain I feel when I know someone is going to die is cripplingly and I don't know how to stop it. I've tried asking the Force/God/Guides/and so on for help but it doesn't always work.

Any advice from anyone like this? I need to link up with someone similar or maybe just be told Im a nut job and go commit myself because I'm not sure a lifetime of this is what I need. I should also add that as a kid, I grew up in a country where there was a civil war going on and briefly passed away, I was only gone for a few minutes before CPR brought me back. Sometimes I think I left a part of me over on the other side that I'm not likely to get back soon.

Help (I need somebody)!

-D8a

Edited October 8, 2015 by D8a

[Aftermath]

Thanks for sharing D8a and I hope sharing this was in a way cathartic for you.

First, you are not crazy at all and try not to feel like you need to be hospitalized for this. Second, you indeed need to link up with a person similar or a group to help you accept this and understand how to embrace it and more importantly deal with the trauma you feel at times (e.g., when you sense a death to someone close). I contend there's so much about life and ourselves that we just don't know anything about - something like this phenomenon shouldn't be suppressed. Finally, and perhaps this is bad advice, may be not, but I would continue as you have done previously with recording these feelings, letting people you trust know about them, and then monitor what happens, record that and establish some kind of documentation.

Also, keep coming back and sharing with us. Perhaps that will help...

[Ashotep]

Don't make yourself responsible for these peoples deaths, just because you know something doesn't mean you can change it. I'm not sure its even meant to be changed. Maybe if you could come to terms with that it might not cause you as much pain. Its a gift but it can be a burden if you let it.

[D8a]

Thanks for the replies. Ashotep, it never occurred to me that pain was being caused by a desire to change anything. That's an angle, I never even considered. Thanks for the insight.

[Michelle1414]

It's great to meet some like me I too feel crazy at times. I recently posted on a different site, and got great feed back...I will post my story below. I am learning to embrace this slowly...maybe we could chat, and use each other to share our glimpses of things together. I have been looking for someone who shares similar experiences.

I have always been extremely sensitive, and always had a good "sixth sense" especially with animals and children. As a child I struggled a lot to understand why I had such strong reactions to the events around me, and why I could feel energy from others. I was labeled "overly sensitive." Quickly learned to repress my feelings out of fear of criticism. This of course came back to bite me. I finally have excepted myself, and embraced being "different."

About 4 years ago I experienced some very serious trauma, and it has changed me in ways I would of never expected. With out reliving it online.... It is worth mentioning, because not long after that I started to experience dreams more vivid then usual. Those dreams were now connected to outside events. I don't have these types of dreams nightly, but I have them weekly. Back in February I had one so profound, I started to question my sanity.

My dream was me traveling with a group on a bus, I didn't recognize anyone on the bus. We stopped abruptly, and I looked out the window there was a heavy set black man badly injured from a car accident laying on the side of the road. The people on the bus were yelling at me to save him. I stepped out of the bus to find him deceased. My attention was quickly draw to people telling me to come a help a woman who was in a separate damaged vehicle, injured as well. Both cars had collided. She was only slightly injured. When I woke abruptly, I couldn't shake the ominous feeling. I am a former medic so I didn't think the dream was that odd. I came downstairs, made a cup of coffee and jumped online to read the news. The first site I went to was the local news. The first article was about a young black police officer that was killed in his cruiser earlier that morning. Authorities do not know why he lost control of his cruiser, hit a tree and was killed on impact. The accident was 2 miles from my house....I've known the officer for 7 years, I was devastated. He was such a wonderful soul. He was in his white police cruiser when he hit the tree...and in my dream he was driving a white, large, four door vehicle.

Why did I have that dream?! It left me feeling hopeless, and scared. Why am I having dreams about future events now? I had another one recently that I am afraid to even talk about. I have started meditating to center myself and I ask for protection when meditating.

Most of my dreams involve large scale events, and well known figures. Sometimes when awake, I get what feels like a flash/sensation of something that is going to happen to someone.....Example: When I have seen president Obama on TV, I get an uneasy about his health. I feel he is hiding a serious illness. I also had this "flash" of an image of someone being shot on live TV. It was about two weeks before the shooting of the 2 journalists in Virginia. The most recent one has really really bothered me. I have seen the event in dreams and awake. I can not tell if it involves me, or I am watching it unfold.

When I meditate (I'm slacking) I do not try to obtain information about the future. It's just my time to relax and rid myself of negative energy. Recently when I get the feelings I have been refocusing my attention elsewhere, because it is just upsetting. It frustrating. Anything positive..which I experience is a nice change. I definitely need to fine tune it. Maybe I will feel more control over the feelings. I guess a way to compartmentalize them.

[Blue Star]

My advice is;

You will be ok, you can get a handle on all of this with some refocusing and clarity you will be ok.

Meditation will help you. Focusing on what you want will help you. Understanding about alignment will help you. Being kind and gentle with yourself will help you. Relaxing, enjoying yourself with it will help. Get back to playing with it will help, Treating it lightly will help, Working with your breathe will help. Writing will help.

There is indeed much that will help.

Except that you are not alone in these experiences. There are many, many people like you, who have experiences to a lesser or greater degree of these types of things.

I for one and i do not think you are odd, raving mad nor weird. It does not help you, to think these things of yourself either. It would be a good idea to drop this thinking.

Usually, when someone is really crazy, they don't ask if they are.

Can you except that we are all vibrational?

Vibrational being and as such, we tune into the vibrations on our frequency.

Therefore,

Whatever we are attuned to, we pick up on. It's ok. Really you're not alone in this and you're not a nut job. You are safe.

Given your life experiences to date.

To me,

It is understandable, is it not? That you would be attuned to such things as you are receiving/translating/picking up on.

Calming yourself down with some tender loving care and soothing yourself in whatever ways that work for you, is what you are needing right now.

Distractions will help too, some rest, sleep even. All this will help to ease you.

And give you the space to realign.

As you seem to be panicking and stressing out about it and feeling this way will only prevent you from being able to tune in better to the guidance you are requesting of the unseen worlds assistance.

I hope you are hearing me on all these things. I have given this quite some thought before responding to your post. As you seem to be in the asking mode rather than the receiving mode.

I have been where you are now, it is horrible. I wish i had someone tell me what i am telling you, when i was there. I think this is why i feel compelled to respond to you request.

You are oscillating between your own knowing and clarity, and the contradiction you have learnt from others flawed thinkings as in, the excepted norms of the 'hit it with a hammer' and 'stick it in a test tube', type of so called reality.

It's ok, you're ok, really.

This is just you showing you, you are in contradiction and that this in it's self is the guidance you seek. Even though you don't seem to grasp this just yet, you will. It is steering you to your personal ease and clarity.

One very important thing you need to realise here is that.... If it feels good, it is good and if it doesn't feel good to you, then you are off alignment.

Do you wish me to tell you more or is this enough food for thought right now?

Edited October 27, 2015 by Blue Star