Answer a Question With A Question (Part 4)

[Helen of Annoy]

4 minutes ago, toyomotor said:

Wait a minute, what have Avacados have to do with women?

Pear-shape? 

Some of them, that is, I've never seen a fruit I'd identify with, but maybe I just didn't try hard enough? 

[+ouija ouija]

Which fruit would you like to be shaped like?

[Helen of Annoy]

Well, isn't that one hard question for me? Because fruit has no head and I'd definitely like to keep my head on, I'm not sure why, probably so I don't have to have my ears on my shoulders or something, now, wouldn't that be really weird? 

[+ouija ouija]

Why are you concerned about keeping your head? We never see it and it would appear that the Hatopus does all the serious thinking(just kidding!). I am pear shaped and perfectly content with a tiny dried-up stalk for a head.

[Helen of Annoy]

Oh, all right... I'd say I'm utility pole shaped, which is not a fruit, but I would like keep my approximate shape so I don't have to buy new clothes or something, so... a banana? 

[purrrpetrator]

mmmm banana... mashed! with avocado! 

and peanut butter! on rye!

{ May 2018

Avocado: global trade’s golden fruit

Demand driven by hipsters and plumbers alike has led to a surge in avocado exports and imports.

by ITC News

Avocado has in recent years become one of the world’s trendiest fruits and a favourite ‘superfood’. And the rage does not seem to slow down. Its versatility means that it can be used for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner and desert – or as a snack on its own. It is the sixth most imported fruit in the world, after bananas, grapes, apples, oranges and almonds.

In 2016, global imports of avocado hit $4.82 billion. Between 2012 and 2016, imports of the superfood grew by 21% whereas the unit value grew by 15%.

So who is responsible for all this healthy trade? The biggest consumer of avocado in 2016 by far was the US ($1.99 billion), followed by the Netherlands ($479.98 million) and France ($376.78m). Mexico, meanwhile, was world’s biggest exporter, shipping avocados worth $2.1 billion across its borders. The Netherlands ($477.24m) and Peru ($396.58m) were ranked second and third.

Interestingly, the Netherlands’ exports are similar to its imports. This is because it supplies a large share of the European market, with Germany, Norway and Sweden being main destination markets for Dutch avocado exports. Most avocado imports to the Netherlands originate in Peru ($124m) and Chile ($116.58m).

The US and Mexico are both each other’s main trading partners, when it comes to avocados. 83% of Mexican avocados are destined for US markets and 37% consummated* by the US come from Mexico.

However, according to ITC’s Export Potential Map there remains an estimated $2.9 billion worth of untapped export potential for avocados worldwide. Mexico has about $1.7 billion to explore, whereas Peru ($245.2m) and Chile ($241.3m) could also increase their exports.

This trend is reflected in the main avocado destination markets, too, which all seem hungry for more. For example, Export Potential Map suggest that there is untapped potential in the US of $1.1 billion, $282.4m in the Netherlands and $204.9m in France.

As 2017 data are progressively being available, it will become clear if this trend continues or not."}

Whew! did not know the Netherlands produces avocados! Not mentioned is the potential for African production.... Kenya is I believe already on the bandwagon.

see, part of the problem with the rapid avocado expansion into world markets is that there is big money involved, which encourages new growers, and the use, by existing ones, of new growing areas (soils, locales) in which avocado has never been grown, and therefore leads to anything that looks like an avocado hitting store shelves... in other words people are being exposed to less-than-first-rate fruit... there is some exquisite product out there... no offensive 'soapy' taste... so Ouija may have simply had a bad batch... or a few bad batches... complain to your green grocer! tell them it "tastes soapy", and if he/she thinks you may give up on the product, they complain to the distributor, and so on up the line, until hopefully the experience becomes a positive one... i realize that's asking a lot in an industrialized market...

* 'consummated'.... can we safely assume they meant 'consumed'?

[Helen of Annoy]

Well, who are we to judge people who would consummate it with an avocado, instead of just consume avocados? 

And it's close enough, unless it's some kind of utterly weird situation where mixing these two verbs up would result in shock and offense, but then again, are avocados sentient? No? So, consummate or consume away, as long as it's not my avocado - which is ripening peacefully among the apples and would you believe me there were no incidents at all?

The first one, which I opened while it was still quite hard, wasn't something special on its own, but it was much more interesting later, when I finished it chopped into tiny pieces and mixed with yogurt, banana (exactly, very good combo!), and ananas... I mean, pineapple, did you know everyone else call it ananas?   

[purrrpetrator]

... but see the term "pineapple" requires thought, therefore people in a desperate hurry for their pineapple -- and we know just what that's like -- would simply have to let their mouth slide open, say "AAAA", add an N, and repeat... endlessly... any red-blooded, attentive care provider worth their salt would know exactly what was meant and deliver said fruit after just two repetitions... wouldn't you?

[Helen of Annoy]

Oh, but if you think of ananas as ana-nas, instead of a-na-na-s, or an-an-as, aren't you safe from using too much na-nas or an-ans? 

Wait, an-an-as  it's like an... an ass  yeah, I'm easily amused, but why do you ask?  

[+ouija ouija]

14 hours ago, purrrpetrator said:

mmmm banana... mashed! with avocado! 

and peanut butter! on rye!

{ May 2018

Avocado: global trade’s golden fruit

Demand driven by hipsters and plumbers alike has led to a surge in avocado exports and imports.

by ITC News

Avocado has in recent years become one of the world’s trendiest fruits and a favourite ‘superfood’. And the rage does not seem to slow down. Its versatility means that it can be used for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner and desert – or as a snack on its own. It is the sixth most imported fruit in the world, after bananas, grapes, apples, oranges and almonds.

In 2016, global imports of avocado hit $4.82 billion. Between 2012 and 2016, imports of the superfood grew by 21% whereas the unit value grew by 15%.

So who is responsible for all this healthy trade? The biggest consumer of avocado in 2016 by far was the US ($1.99 billion), followed by the Netherlands ($479.98 million) and France ($376.78m). Mexico, meanwhile, was world’s biggest exporter, shipping avocados worth $2.1 billion across its borders. The Netherlands ($477.24m) and Peru ($396.58m) were ranked second and third.

Interestingly, the Netherlands’ exports are similar to its imports. This is because it supplies a large share of the European market, with Germany, Norway and Sweden being main destination markets for Dutch avocado exports. Most avocado imports to the Netherlands originate in Peru ($124m) and Chile ($116.58m).

The US and Mexico are both each other’s main trading partners, when it comes to avocados. 83% of Mexican avocados are destined for US markets and 37% consummated* by the US come from Mexico.

However, according to ITC’s Export Potential Map there remains an estimated $2.9 billion worth of untapped export potential for avocados worldwide. Mexico has about $1.7 billion to explore, whereas Peru ($245.2m) and Chile ($241.3m) could also increase their exports.

This trend is reflected in the main avocado destination markets, too, which all seem hungry for more. For example, Export Potential Map suggest that there is untapped potential in the US of $1.1 billion, $282.4m in the Netherlands and $204.9m in France.

As 2017 data are progressively being available, it will become clear if this trend continues or not."}

Whew! did not know the Netherlands produces avocados! Not mentioned is the potential for African production.... Kenya is I believe already on the bandwagon.

see, part of the problem with the rapid avocado expansion into world markets is that there is big money involved, which encourages new growers, and the use, by existing ones, of new growing areas (soils, locales) in which avocado has never been grown, and therefore leads to anything that looks like an avocado hitting store shelves... in other words people are being exposed to less-than-first-rate fruit... there is some exquisite product out there... no offensive 'soapy' taste... so Ouija may have simply had a bad batch... or a few bad batches... complain to your green grocer! tell them it "tastes soapy", and if he/she thinks you may give up on the product, they complain to the distributor, and so on up the line, until hopefully the experience becomes a positive one... i realize that's asking a lot in an industrialized market...

* 'consummated'.... can we safely assume they meant 'consumed'?

Are you prepared for toyo's wrath when he sees this post of yours?

13 hours ago, Helen of Annoy said:

 as long as it's not my avocado - which is ripening peacefully among the apples and would you believe me there were no incidents at all?

 

Are you sure there were no 'incidents' overnight? Do you have cctv cameras in the kitchen, trained on the avocado/apple situation?

1 hour ago, Helen of Annoy said:

Oh, but if you think of ananas as ana-nas, instead of a-na-na-s, or an-an-as, aren't you safe from using too much na-nas or an-ans? 

Wait, an-an-as  it's like an... an ass  yeah, I'm easily amused, but why do you ask?  

When we already have bananas, why would anyone think it was okay to call a completely different fruit anananananananananananas?

Edited April 10, 2019 by ouija ouija

[Helen of Annoy]

Ban-an-as, an-an-as?

How could you? Ananas is such a lovely fruit, and while it's true it is a bit of an ass while it's whole, with that not seriously prickly skin that turns out to be prickly indeed when you hold it, is there anything on this Earth that is perfectly-perfect?

 

(By the way, here comes the ranty part - no, no, it wasn't a rant up there, don't you people know me by now? So, we have a lot of cameras lately, everywhere - fortunately for me, I never believed the watched one should be ashamed, it's various peeping Toms that should feel like ananases - but we still do it the old-fashioned way: were there injuries? No? Disperse, then, don't you have something useful to do with your time? Yes? All right, time to inflict some more, because isn't the Universe all about balance? 

Seriously now, it takes them a while to ripen, the avocados, not cameras or black eyes (well, yes, but not to digress), so how could I not wonder now for exactly how long they used to lie in the stores abroad before they were recycled in the sense of being tossed to my and other subhuman markets? 

And now, lo and behold, hard avocados, hard as rocks... and yet, if I say geopolitical situation can be divined out of an avocado, wouldn't people think I'm insane?)   

[+ouija ouija]

To answer your last question: NO, you are definitely not insane but can we agree you are rather ...... quirky, original, unique?

Edited April 10, 2019 by ouija ouija

[Helen of Annoy]

Thank you for being so polite, and thank god for I'm unique, because who would suffer more than one of me? 

[+ouija ouija]

Your husband? Your cats? Goodness me ..... couldn't we even cope with a couple more of you here at UM?

[acute]

Who could possibly cope with Helens of Annoy? 

[Helen of Annoy]

See? 

I mean, it's not that I don't already have few personalities inside my head, but can they type all the once? 

[+ouija ouija]

Why don't you give it a go? Give us all a laugh

[Helen of Annoy]

Well, I could try... just don't talk too much... who, me? When was I talking too much? - All the time. - Oh, shut up, you paranoid. - You mother's paranoid. - Why are you screaming again? I'm trying to work here. - Put fingers in your ears. - I will, just let me the control over. - In your dreams. - Yes, I was dreaming and we should change batteries in the remote... - Who woke up that idiot? - She's not idiot, she's got the point about batteries. - We don't need new batteries, I just changed them last month, you schizos. - Yeah, schizos, schizos, but... the remote is dead. - *laughter* - Who bought crappy batteries again? - You, you know it's your rational thinking that wants to do the shopping. - Because you'd end up in Slovenia if I let any of you go to the store alone. - Speaking of which, everything's cheaper in their Spar. - So, Slovenia tomorrow? - Only if you'll walk up there, I'm not driving you. - All right, we'll walk. - God give me strength... - Ugh, we're not walking, someone sprained my ankle. When did that happen? Was it funny? - Very funny. If you promise to shut up and go back to sleep, I'll tell you all about it. - We're all ears. - But first we have to go off line. - Yes, yes, definitely, off line... - I can't go off line now, there are people I want to strangle. - You have to stop that, there are people I want to hug there. - Who's stopping you? - But I want to hug those you're strangling too. - You're an idiot. - No, I'm just older than you, you'll understand one day. - Never. - Meow. - What? Who let the cat inside my head too? - They're always inside, it's your rational thinking that can't see them. - But now I hear them. Am I going insane too? - Aren't you glad? - No, someone has to stay sane. - Why? - Are others asleep? - Yup. Just you and me. And the cats. - I must keep you safe. - *laughter* Why do you worry so much? Was it not proven to you, so many times before, that things always go exactly as they should? - So... I should I click 'submit'? - Do you even have to ask? 

[purrrpetrator]

Your funnybone is in your ankle?

[toyomotor]

On 08/04/2019 at 7:25 PM, Helen of Annoy said:

Pear-shape?

Isn't that fruitist?

[toyomotor]

16 hours ago, ouija ouija said:

Are you prepared for toyo's wrath when he sees this post of yours?

Oh dear,another life story from the age of two. Some people simply don't understand that concept of snappy one liners, do they?

[toyomotor]

13 hours ago, ouija ouija said:

To answer your last question: NO, you are definitely not insane but can we agree you are rather ...... quirky, original, unique?

That's your opinion, the rest of use may have a different idea, OK?

[Abilityperson]

If a squirrel farts does a bear hear it?

[toyomotor]

Sanity is not real, it's a state of mind isn't it?

[toyomotor]

Just now, Abilityperson said:

If a squirrel farts does a bear hear it?

Do squirrels fart? Wouldn't the bear smell it first?