+ouija ouija Posted November 19, 2015 #51 Share Posted November 19, 2015 As a layperson I obviously don't have your qualifications, medical experience(and sheer brass neck), but how will attacking acute's jugular with a road drill help his bottom problems? Surely you are focussing on the wrong end? (Although I'm not sure anyone who wasn't being paid would want to focus on his bottom!). 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 19, 2015 Author #52 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Ther juggler...The throat lass! Gravel has been scientifically proven to dislodge foren bodies an since Acutes tekkin it in thru da mouth... ...its an added bonus in dat it will shift owt gavvered int juggler see. Yer may mock me lass but see, av never had any come backs or complaints so my remedies must wok! http://www.gravel_and_its_medical_beneifts_Dr_Pickels 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted November 19, 2015 #53 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I am starting a psychiatric counselling thread, and I highly recommend you pay it a visit. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 19, 2015 Author #54 Share Posted November 19, 2015 A wud be more than welcome to offer yer me advice Acute...fora price that is sir. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 26, 2015 Author #55 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Ter the shy an annonmas bod who rushed int me surgery and left a note. Try placin yer feet in the freezer for as long as you can withstand it.an repeet 3 times ah day. Yer toe warts will drop off in no time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted January 3, 2016 Author #56 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Well me surgerys bin quiet like. Av bin off feeling ill see - ad me stomach pumped twice hover chrismas. But ah spose me customers have all healed up or are on the mend just lak me. *coughs violently,chokes and holds stomach* The doctor would like to wish you all a very healthy new year and advise all smokers to quit the habit * The doctor is always losing his lighter. So quitters please deliver or post them here. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted January 4, 2016 #57 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Dr. Mark, I have a stabbing pain in my right eye every time I drink my coffee. Should I take out my spoon before drinking?? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted January 4, 2016 Author #58 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Nah yer obviusley performin a new year ritual int yer - da old get rid ov the mover in law. Soh if yer need ter practice on yer self wrap summink soft arand da stem. NEXT! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted January 4, 2016 #59 Share Posted January 4, 2016 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted January 4, 2016 Author #60 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Tee See, watevar your doin want advised be me. Ooooh, wait! Ive just ad a brain wave! Doreens not bin doin da cleening lately on account of her bein ded. So,wud yer mind givin t old floor a scrub, ders sum blud stains hovver here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
141 Posted January 4, 2016 #61 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Doctor , Doctor ...i swallowed my Pocket Money do you have some medication or should i wait to see if there is any change in the morning ? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted January 4, 2016 Author #62 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Hello pretty un. Nowt to it, copper,iron and ubber sharpnel ar fowd in vitamin tablets. Well done you luv cos da body must be havin happy party time wiv all dat mineral stuff. Cum agen with more pocket cash so ah can study it. Will see ah it fares next tam Im in t local shop. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 4, 2016 #63 Share Posted February 4, 2016 I bumped my head and I think I lost my accent. Is it permanent? How can I get it back? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 4, 2016 Author #64 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Well lass, fer starters we need ter shift dat pet on ur boat luv. *Doc prises it away* Oooh,now does it always guh dat colour when removed,fink its brown bread luv. *Helen is furious and begins shouting* Der yer guh lass yer voice is back and the head pain shud guh now thas bin shifted. *Doc points at the mollusc* Der yer wan a carrier bag to take it hom? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 4, 2016 #65 Share Posted February 4, 2016 No, but you touch my hatopus again and you'll need a body bag. *slaps hatopus back on* Hm... it's back all right. So, let's call this a success. Are you doing the mental health too? I feel a little depressed lately. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 4, 2016 Author #66 Share Posted February 4, 2016 D`pessed eh. Tis all int mind lass an cheer up cos you never nid ter mek yer bed agen. Cos you will always be in it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 5, 2016 Author #67 Share Posted February 5, 2016 No, but you touch my hatopus again and you'll need a body bag. *slaps hatopus back on* Rate(right) silly lass! Yull be bak wen yer tummies hurting and yer fink yer pregnunt with mini mes...tut-tut, scoff 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted February 5, 2016 #68 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I keep hearing two heart beats should I be concerned? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 5, 2016 Author #69 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Ah Mr Fish one ov me regulers, bak fer pro help frum me on him. Nowt ter worry hovver. Yer ears need a sringin. Rate! Lay down on yer side whilst I get me ear mixture. *Doc then slaps Xenos ear with the palm of his sweaty hand* Rate just loosenin the muck inside. *Doc pours salt into targeted ear* Giv it five mins ter settle an den will use me USB keybord vac to suck it owt....erm, Mr Fish me vac int very long, can yer walk over ter me laptop. Keep yer nut sideways!....Nah dis want hot too much (hummin/suction/gargled noises) Um, yer got blood in here....****! *Blood starts spurting out* Al just nip ter me car for a cloff. *Car engine starts as Doc does a runner*. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted February 6, 2016 #70 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Go home Doc you've been drinking. lol 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted February 6, 2016 #71 Share Posted February 6, 2016 You mean he's been sampling a bit too much of his "magic" elixir..... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 6, 2016 Author #72 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Tis on offer me oads if yee intwested. Doc Marks coff mixture. It dunt cure nor ease owt but its dat strong dat yer coff after drinkin it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 7, 2016 Author #73 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Luk at dis! Awww, dows wer der days 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted February 7, 2016 #74 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Luk at dis! Awww, dows wer der days One night? a bottle of that could be your "last night". 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted February 7, 2016 #75 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Dear Doctor Mark, I was in my husbands new car and it has leather seats, he was driving....why do farts sound louder on leather seats as opposed to fabric ones? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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