Mark One Posted February 7, 2016 Author #76 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Be cos yer should treat yer bowls wiv rispect. Mek toylet time a mor frequant hobby. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted February 7, 2016 #77 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Be cos yer should treat yer bowls wiv rispect. Mek toylet time a mor frequant hobby. NOT MY BOWELS. But what about the leather thing...apparently its fact. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 7, 2016 Author #78 Share Posted February 7, 2016 NOT MY BOWELS. But what about the leather thing...apparently its fact. Yer ned ter wear thicker pants, tis why yer tabs pick up diffo sound fing on him. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted February 7, 2016 #79 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yer ned ter wear thicker pants, tis why yer tabs pick up diffo sound fing on him. AH! pants? now that could be the answer. will buy him some. Thanks doc. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 7, 2016 Author #80 Share Posted February 7, 2016 An put sum meat on yer bones too. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted February 7, 2016 #81 Share Posted February 7, 2016 An put sum meat on yer bones too. Hows this?: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 7, 2016 Author #82 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Hows this?: By heck lass! Dat jus luks like Mrs Bobbins ah number 52, ah day after seein me. Buh in regars ter yer - it be un improovment 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted February 8, 2016 #83 Share Posted February 8, 2016 (edited) Dr. Mark, I keep having abdominal pain every time I eat beans, what can I do? Edited February 8, 2016 by tcgram 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back to earth Posted February 8, 2016 #84 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Dr Mark , help! I got stuff like custard oozing out one ear, and a jelly like substance in the other one . Whats going on ...... (Its good to have a 'straight man' ) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 8, 2016 Author #85 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Dr. Mark, I keep having abdominal pain every time I eat beans, what can I do? Ugggghhhh, an regular hang-up lass dat cun be beet by mixin milk ov magnesier in it (dem beens). Rub mint creem inter belly on him tor ter eeze any discumfurt Follah dis advece an yer burp it up see. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 8, 2016 Author #86 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Dr Mark , help! I got stuff like custard oozing out one ear, and a jelly like substance in the other one . Whats going on ...... (Its good to have a 'straight man' ) Yer be un heavy finker an worrier on him. Brane full wiv rubbish, no room for much mor stuff. Dunt be un clever clog - beh stupid - empty brane fluid quicker an free up space on him. Stop reedin books or doin puzzels farah bit. Burrer me cat called it Sparkel. She lick it up good 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back to earth Posted February 9, 2016 #87 Share Posted February 9, 2016 But the other doctor said I was just a trifle deaf ! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 9, 2016 Author #88 Share Posted February 9, 2016 But the other doctor said I was just a trifle deaf ! Yawn dem cowboy Doctorers...jus stop dah finking 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taun Posted February 9, 2016 #89 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Doc... I finally got my fingers to bend again after the last time I visited you, and ever since Nurse Doreen "left" my upset stomach has disappeared, and my eyes have stopped watering... But now I seem to be having trouble walking through doorways... Got anything for antler ache?... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 9, 2016 Author #90 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Owd Doreen, aww da memwrys - cud ton water sour...dat freetahroam was suppossed ter tek her playce...lef me affer ah wannad ter hang her int corner of me room...grrr, argghhh... tra rubbin deep heet int dem 4 times ah day an yah will soon be bendin em int who a more pleezin shape son. If yah nid ah job lad cum down an see me, yer horns cud hold me medecal cups un nifes on him. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 9, 2016 #91 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Quick, someone's hyperventilating over there, what can I do for the poor b******? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 9, 2016 Author #92 Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) Toss em sum dotty water dat stinks. Dah cold damp socking will bring em back on him. If dat fails wack em along dah bak wiv a big un stick. Alsah, try placin a darth vader mask overt head too Edited February 9, 2016 by Mark One 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 9, 2016 Author #93 Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) Am planning a fost aid training day int summer. Ter sine up clik like. Topiks include pulse checking - wha ter luk owt foh. bandagin yer nieghbour Correk way ter hold a trout int distress manajin yer shop Blud/bone woonds Fires Body peercin Edited February 9, 2016 by Mark One 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back to earth Posted February 10, 2016 #94 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Maybe you could help my little nephew , any pediatric experience ? We had an extended family dinner and he left the table to 'do a wee' , on his return he was amazedly displaying a mini erect member and announced. "Hey you guys, look what happened to my willie ! " Suppressing a laugh and the exist of peas and mashed potato via my nasal passage , and other family members looking concentratedly at their plates, my sister (his mum) saved the day : "Oh yeah ... look at that! How did that happen ?" " I dunno ... I just started rubbing it because it felt funny and then this happened ! " My question to you is ..... how do I dislodge the peas from ( now ) the back of my nasal sinus ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 10, 2016 Author #95 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Dotty littal swine. Wi all find bog time amusin on it but dah bloody jerms! Next tim dah yung-un nips forah whizz meksure he scrubs his hands afterwads. Jerms spred gud on dotty mitts! An mek him dry um two. Nah sur, yur hang-up on him. Eet tons of baked beens den stand on ur nut (head) an wait for the gases. Wen dey cum kip ur mowth closed an burp owt yer nose. Mus kip eyes shut mind. Cud be sick on it, practise it wiv fizzy pop or ale sun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 10, 2016 Author #96 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Rate punters! Luks like der rent ah pay me mover(mother aged 91yrs) faht(for the) bedrum(bedroom) ah yus(I use to diagnose) will sun be not in yus. Dah old bat is kickin me owt! Sah ah nid cash ter cont me profeshin * Sah am diggin owt me last 400 copys ov me self hep buck. 100 yuses for Battry Acid int hom(in the home) Yer can ordah ah copy by sendin £3.48 postal order ter 1088 Weevil Gardens, Glue Factory View, Hull, SC36 0UM ** * Not really, but you know, got to keep this thread ticking over with more useless tripe/information ** Book and address do not exist, please do not attempt to send a payment...come on, why would you? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted February 11, 2016 #97 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Dear Doc, I seem to have a smelly area behind my left ear. Should this be in your Paranormal thread? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 11, 2016 Author #98 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Bug off lad cos yur fibbin. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 12, 2016 #99 Share Posted February 12, 2016 I think I can understand everything you say. I'm afraid it can only be a brain tumor causing that. Can you cure it or I have to look for a specialist? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted February 12, 2016 #100 Share Posted February 12, 2016 (edited) Doc Mark I have video proof of your medical malpractices. I think that if you'd like to keep your business open then we need to talk $$$. Edited February 12, 2016 by XenoFish 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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