Dazed and confused

[FTWind]

Hello Um,

I would like to apologize for the post I have made in the past months involving me knowing the answers to the universe. I believe I went through something that could be desribed as an episode of manic depression and grand delusions.

I hope in the future that I won't be a nuisance and as ignorant as i have been in the past especially to our wonderful moderators.

Though I would like to talk about my experience because it was rather mind rattling and also sort of weird because I've never been diagnosed with any kind of depression or any symptoms of bi polar disorder before. How it all started was a single idea. From there I went to manic episode that gave me grand delusions that I was actually a reincarnated Jesus. I know I know crazy. Really I just want to discuss if this could happen again or am I safe.

Edited February 7, 2016 by FTWind

[Davros of Skaro]

Tell away good sir.

[+Nuclear Wessel]

I'm all eyes.

[StarMountainKid]

I think many intelligent people hold to odd ideas from time to time, even some UM members. Some get carried away with their odd ideas, just read posts here. I don't know, but now realizing what you experienced, I would think you will be on your guard for it happening again. I think you're safe.

I convert my odd ideas into little fictional stories, but that's just me. I know they're just figments of my imagination.

[FTWind]

Well I'm just wondering if Manic Episodes are triggered or is it that certain people have the disorder and it's reoccurring? Though I would rather not discuss the idea or what it lead me to believe. Unless the moderators wouldn't mind. I could just tell the story of the time I thought I was Jesus it was pretty trippy.

Edited February 7, 2016 by FTWind

[+Noteverythingisaconspiracy]

Acknowledging a problem is allways the first, and most difficult, step towards adressing it.

Best of luck on your journey.

Edit: Stupid spelling mistake

Edited February 7, 2016 by Noteverythingisaconspiracy

[FTWind]

I think many intelligent people hold to odd ideas from time to time, even some UM members. Some get carried away with their odd ideas, just read posts here. I don't know, but now realizing what you experienced, I would think you will be on your guard for it happening again. I think you're safe.

I convert my odd ideas into little fictional stories, but that's just me. I know they're just figments of my imagination.

While I said "safe" I really don't fear it from happening again because while it being all in my imagination the belief I was Jesus gave me unbelievable luck well at least in my mind at the time. It boosted my confidence in every aspect of my life and created me the opportunities to get a job making 150k a year. I described it now as the highest of highs. I needed nothing but to help everyone around me and everything started coming my way. The more I helped the more came. It was wild. Though my brain calmed down and it seemed all the luck vanished. So was all the fortune all a coincidence and in my mind?

[FTWind]

Acknowledging a problem is allways the first, and most difficult, step towards adressing it.

Best of luck on your journey.

Edit: Stupid spelling mistake

Thank you.

[Goodnite]

Usually if you do good things for people you will be blessed as good things happen to you. It's karma.

[back to earth]

Well I'm just wondering if Manic Episodes are triggered or is it that certain people have the disorder and it's reoccurring? Though I would rather not discuss the idea or what it lead me to believe. Unless the moderators wouldn't mind. I could just tell the story of the time I thought I was Jesus it was pretty trippy.

yeah, I detected that, hence my posts and our PMs and my attitude about things. One thing I pointed out to you (and some critics of you) is this type of thing can happen to anyone ... I may have made this quote (cant remember ) from an eminent psychiatrist that had to treat incarcerated people ;

" The average layman's picture of the mentally ill as raving lunatics is far from reality. Most of these people have become entangled in inner processes and simply fail to manage their lives well. In the hospital most have freedom of the grounds and the average visitor is impressed that, aside from occasional odd bits of behavior, the patients have most of their powers and appear like almost everyone else. Many return home in a month or two, never to need mental hospitalization again.

... Most would be like the patients on the hospital grounds who strike the visitor as not unlike themselves. A conversation with one of these patients might indicate to the visitor that the patient has an unusual set of beliefs—for instance, that he is kept in the hospital by a gang of thieves, or that ordinary clouds are radiation pollution. In many, even unusual beliefs would not be apparent. Most conceal that they hear and see things because they are wise enough to know the visitor doesn't and wouldn't understand. Their adjustment within the hospital is relatively good. Many do productive work ten to thirty hours a week. It is when they return to the relatively complex and demanding outside world that their adjustment often worsens. "

http://www.searchwithin.org/download/presence_spirits.pdf

Since you didnt have an incarceration ( ? ) I assume the adjustment period will not be as difficult.

... oh , and ....

[back to earth]

I think many intelligent people hold to odd ideas from time to time, even some UM members. Some get carried away with their odd ideas, just read posts here. I don't know, but now realizing what you experienced, I would think you will be on your guard for it happening again. I think you're safe.

I convert my odd ideas into little fictional stories, but that's just me. I know they're just figments of my imagination.

Thats a great idea !

I have this theory that if we dont express our 'soul' ( desires that we wish to see manifest in reality ) our perception will 'bend' and make them appear ... or other weird **** 'manifest'.

Creative expression into a concrete 'reality' form is very healthy for the psyche !

[back to earth]

While I said "safe" I really don't fear it from happening again because while it being all in my imagination the belief I was Jesus gave me unbelievable luck well at least in my mind at the time. It boosted my confidence in every aspect of my life and created me the opportunities to get a job making 150k a year. I described it now as the highest of highs. I needed nothing but to help everyone around me and everything started coming my way. The more I helped the more came. It was wild. Though my brain calmed down and it seemed all the luck vanished. So was all the fortune all a coincidence and in my mind?

I would say both.

We had a guy here that was .... 'having an episode' ... he had an 'aura' / energy / look in the eyes / way of expression that lead to him getting things and effecting people ... a beaming shining quality ... a radiating energy.

he got on a bit of a trip about it. One day he said "Look what I can do! " and tried it on me . I did back to him and freaked out " What !? You know how to do it too ! "

( yep, I been doing it for years .... a type of psychological / energetic / 'magick' . Its actually quite common, most of the time we do stuff like this without being conscious of it - I used it on unruly hospital patients {when I as an orderly} ... and to interest nurses .... in martial arts,, with dogs when I was postmen .... etc etc ... doesnt work on the internet though

The trick is, to exhibit those effects by contacting your 'highest / best ' ( whatever term ) individual nature, and not to have to make yourself believe you are someone else to do it.

FTWind can do himself , by and through his own self. But one has to have a firm foundation, build up the foundation in the practice and keep balanced as you build up.

That way you will endure .... otherwise ; ... you may have noticed your 'adventure' was more like a sky rocket; fast, quick, flash ..... gone .

It can be sustained if approached properly.

Edited February 8, 2016 by back to earth

[back to earth]

Usually if you do good things for people you will be blessed as good things happen to you. It's karma.

The link I posted above , Dr van Dusen notes (and others do too ) one of the best ways to aid this type of recovery is to work in a soup kitchen or any social assistance programme where you are helping others .

That, combined with creative output ....

[+Sherapy]

Hello Um,

I would like to apologize for the post I have made in the past months involving me knowing the answers to the universe. I believe I went through something that could be desribed as an episode of manic depression and grand delusions.

I hope in the future that I won't be a nuisance and as ignorant as i have been in the past especially to our wonderful moderators.

Though I would like to talk about my experience because it was rather mind rattling and also sort of weird because I've never been diagnosed with any kind of depression or any symptoms of bi polar disorder before. How it all started was a single idea. From there I went to manic episode that gave me grand delusions that I was actually a reincarnated Jesus. I know I know crazy. Really I just want to discuss if this could happen again or am I safe.

Yeah, I suspected as much; my mom was committed twice ( not saying you will be) but that you were saying similar things. Ninety-nine percent of it is recognizing a problem and getting help. Getting help is the key. My ex mother-in-law on the other hand refused to get help, same with my mom both had to be put on 72 hour holds by family members. With my mom it was cut and dry, but with my ex mother-in-law it wasn't because she could act sane long enough to convince a judge she was fine. It took her breaking the law enough to get her help eventually. The biggest problem is people do not see themselves as the problem, its always everyone else. All the best to you.

[Stubbly_Dooright]

Hello Um,

I would like to apologize for the post I have made in the past months involving me knowing the answers to the universe. I believe I went through something that could be desribed as an episode of manic depression and grand delusions.

I hope in the future that I won't be a nuisance and as ignorant as i have been in the past especially to our wonderful moderators.

Though I would like to talk about my experience because it was rather mind rattling and also sort of weird because I've never been diagnosed with any kind of depression or any symptoms of bi polar disorder before. How it all started was a single idea. From there I went to manic episode that gave me grand delusions that I was actually a reincarnated Jesus. I know I know crazy. Really I just want to discuss if this could happen again or am I safe.

Frankly, I really had no idea. Yeah, there were posts, that I wasn't sure you were acknowledging certain things, but there are quite a few other posters I have noticed that too. ( and there have been times I think I went a little........... out of it........ )

Anyways, we all have had our low times. Me many.

Sometimes, we need to reach out and sometimes we need to give.

I will give you a kudos and a for your bravery and honesty here.

[FTWind]

I would say both.

We had a guy here that was .... 'having an episode' ... he had an 'aura' / energy / look in the eyes / way of exp<b></b>ression that lead to him getting things and effecting people ... a beaming shining quality ... a radiating energy.

he got on a bit of a trip about it. One day he said "Look what I can do! " and tried it on me . I did back to him and freaked out " What !? You know how to do it too ! "

( yep, I been doing it for years .... a type of psychological / energetic / 'magick' . Its actually quite common, most of the time we do stuff like this without being conscious of it - I used it on unruly hospital patients {when I as an orderly} ... and to interest nurses .... in martial arts,, with dogs when I was postmen .... etc etc ... doesnt work on the internet though

The trick is, to exhibit those effects by contacting your 'highest / best ' ( whatever term ) individual nature, and not to have to make yourself believe you are someone else to do it.

FTWind can do himself , by and through his own self. But one has to have a firm foundation, build up the foundation in the practice and keep balanced as you build up.

That way you will endure .... otherwise ; ... you may have noticed your 'adventure' was more like a sky rocket; fast, quick, flash ..... gone .

It can be sustained if approached properly.

Though I feel that when going through this my intellegience incresed . What was weird is how everything that I had ever learned snapped together to make something like a large puzzle.

[back to earth]

Hmmmm ..... N₂O will do that on a big scale .... the whole of life, the universe and everything all slots together ... in that moment .... *

Then, when you snap out of it ...... " Wait ! What was that ? ...... ohhh, it's gone now ."

On a more real level, that can happen at certain life stages ( or special astrological combinations with transits ( if you are into that sorta thing ) .

* Prob is ,breathing straight N₂O can cause death .

Edited February 8, 2016 by back to earth

[Grandpa Greenman]

I have Multiple Sclerosis, so I have some insight about illnesses of the brain and the changes that can occur. A problem or illness in your brain can cause you to think and do all kinds of off the wall things. You might want to see a neurologist to make sure things are in order. I am not trying to put you down or anything, just genuine concern for your well being.

[jamesjr191]

Hopes for your great success at piecing things back together. my ex was terrible bi-polar it was hell for her and ME! she finally got help but at times she decides she needs no meds.......there she goes again!

[FTWind]

I have Multiple Sclerosis, so I have some insight about illnesses of the brain and the changes that can occur. A problem or illness in your brain can cause you to think and do all kinds of off the wall things. You might want to see a neurologist to make sure things are in order. I am not trying to put you down or anything, just genuine concern for your well being.

Though the ideas that made me think I was Jesus are still there and are very much still possible. Though I have realized the gravity of what I was saying and just made me realize What I was saying was crazy. Nothing has proven me wrong and shown me how I could be wrong. Though I fear when people tried to show me how I was wrong in the past during my episode caused me to throw away the proof that I was wrong. Even now looking back at all what I thought besides the whole Jesus thing is still plausible. I'm afraid though Its not something that can be tested and I will never know if I'm right so there is no point in worrying about it as much as I did. I think I will just continue my journey for the truth learning more each day, helping who I can. The truth I have learned is that no one knows how and why everything is here and while some guesses are more plausible then others, that's all they are, guesses.

The good thing is that I love to learn . So at least I have lost the idea I know it all.

[Mr Walker]

Well I'm just wondering if Manic Episodes are triggered or is it that certain people have the disorder and it's reoccurring? Though I would rather not discuss the idea or what it lead me to believe. Unless the moderators wouldn't mind. I could just tell the story of the time I thought I was Jesus it was pretty trippy.

Given that it is against the rules for us to give any medical advice, I really think you should get, or continue to get, professional advice on something like this. I assume that you have had treatment and advice from a professional, given such an experience. General knowledge not medical knowledge would suggest that, if not addressed and treated, what ever caused the first occurrence could easily recur However, treatment today is highly effective.

The story in itself should be OK, and as you say, quite interesting, but you cant really ask for, and we cant give, any medical advice.

If it is connected to drugs at all you also have to be very careful in discussing it.

Ps we all have a part of "jesus' in us. Also part "god" and part "devil." It is human nature.

The great thing about being human is that we can get to CHOOSE who and what we are. I understand completely how the universe altered around you in response to the way you connected to it .

Back to earth wrote a number of excellent posts which showed real insight.

Edited February 9, 2016 by Mr Walker

[Grandpa Greenman]

I always find it odd, when people say they are the reincarnation of someone it seems to be someone famous or of high stature. Of all the billions of people who have lived why don't people come up with the corner baker or a janitor?

[Stubbly_Dooright]

Though I feel that when going through this my intellegience incresed . What was weird is how everything that I had ever learned snapped together to make something like a large puzzle.

I get that. Like when I originally read this post. All I got from my understanding of it, was pizza. Then after coffee this morning, it all came together. My slight learning disability or some aspects of it, does that to me a lot. ( makes for great in jokes too! )

Hmmmm ..... N₂O will do that on a big scale .... the whole of life, the universe and everything all slots together ... in that moment .... *

Then, when you snap out of it ...... " Wait ! What was that ? ...... ohhh, it's gone now ."

On a more real level, that can happen at certain life stages ( or special astrological combinations with transits ( if you are into that sorta thing ) .

* Prob is ,breathing straight N₂O can cause death .

Is that layman's term for instant brain death?

I have Multiple Sclerosis, so I have some insight about illnesses of the brain and the changes that can occur. A problem or illness in your brain can cause you to think and do all kinds of off the wall things. You might want to see a neurologist to make sure things are in order. I am not trying to put you down or anything, just genuine concern for your well being.

I'm with GmG on this. As have had a concussion in 1989 from a car accident, sometimes I wonder at the loss of memory of certain things in my life when people, like my sister, remind me of things in life that I completely forgot about or went bye-bye in my head.

Though the ideas that made me think I was Jesus are still there and are very much still possible. Though I have realized the gravity of what I was saying and just made me realize What I was saying was crazy. Nothing has proven me wrong and shown me how I could be wrong. Though I fear when people tried to show me how I was wrong in the past during my episode caused me to throw away the proof that I was wrong. Even now looking back at all what I thought besides the whole Jesus thing is still plausible. I'm afraid though Its not something that can be tested and I will never know if I'm right so there is no point in worrying about it as much as I did. I think I will just continue my journey for the truth learning more each day, helping who I can. The truth I have learned is that no one knows how and why everything is here and while some guesses are more plausible then others, that's all they are, guesses.

This reminds me of a M*A*S*H episode where the unit received a patient who only head a head wound, but the guy thought he was Jesus Christ. I think they called in the Army shrink who reasoned it to PTSD. But, it makes one think, as during the episode, how calm the patient was when answering the question, and I think the episode showed how some characters double checked their beliefs or lack of them. *shrugs*

The good thing is that I love to learn . So at least I have lost the idea I know it all.

(edit: to say I'm on the love to learn. I didn't want to comment on the 'losing the idea of being a know it all'

no, not gonna comment at that at all. *looks sheepish) ............ )

I always find it odd, when people say they are the reincarnation of someone it seems to be someone famous or of high stature. Of all the billions of people who have lived why don't people come up with the corner baker or a janitor?

I remember someone who mentioned that, I think it was a comedian I think. It was kind of funny. He would say that it seems people would remember being reincarnated as Henry the eighth, or Cleopatra or something.

I even remember reading one article of a lady saying she was the reincarnation of Henry the eighth!

Although, I have the book that talks about a couples young son, ( and he was a toddler at the time ) who was having 'memories' of being someone who flew in the war, the second world war, and he was pretty much someone no one would consider famous.

I always thought that I may have been Elizabeth the first of England, ( but yeah, how easy is that for me to pick it )

And that could be wishful thinking. Although, I tend to think that I have memories of various places I visit for the first time, or watch stuff of other cultures, and think that seems familiar and end up having vague memories of being non-famous people.

In which, that is just my belief, that I usually keep to myself or converse to like minded individuals and say 'I kind of think it's possible', and I'm not going 'all out for broke' that it's definitely true.

But hey, at least I don't say I was famous all of the time!

Edited February 9, 2016 by Stubbly_Dooright

[back to earth]

I always find it odd, when people say they are the reincarnation of someone it seems to be someone famous or of high stature. Of all the billions of people who have lived why don't people come up with the corner baker or a janitor?

YES!

This guy visiting us was a real pain .... he went on an on about all his incarnations and how great he was ... a famous pope , various famous people in history, heroes, exciting people

Eventually he said to me " What about you ? You haven't said anything about your past lives ."

"Oh ... I am so ignorant, this must be the first one I suppose ? " He liked that and nodded judgmentally , but persisted " There must be one ... something you remembered ?"

"Some times I have memories of one ."

"Yes yes , < now enthusiastic > what do you remember ?"

" I used to work in a stable ... an old dark one ... I was a boy ."

"Yes, go on ."

"I dont remember much .... I never got let out, I used to live in there and sleep on the straw with the pigs ."

" Oh ! Ummmm .... "

"And I remember I always had all these sores all over me ."

" Oh dear .... I ummmm ... "

" And the farmer used to come in and beat me and abuse me ."

" Oh gosh ..... ummm , I'm sorry ... I ..... "

After that, he gave me really bad looks like I was , now, some type of leper ... he totally avoided me after that

Excellent !

[Grandpa Greenman]

YES!

This guy visiting us was a real pain .... he went on an on about all his incarnations and how great he was ... a famous pope , various famous people in history, heroes, exciting people

Eventually he said to me " What about you ? You haven't said anything about your past lives ."

"Oh ... I am so ignorant, this must be the first one I suppose ? " He liked that and nodded judgmentally , but persisted " There must be one ... something you remembered ?"

"Some times I have memories of one ."

"Yes yes , < now enthusiastic > what do you remember ?"

" I used to work in a stable ... an old dark one ... I was a boy ."

"Yes, go on ."

"I dont remember much .... I never got let out, I used to live in there and sleep on the straw with the pigs ."

" Oh ! Ummmm .... "

"And I remember I always had all these sores all over me ."

" Oh dear .... I ummmm ... "

" And the farmer used to come in and beat me and abuse me ."

" Oh gosh ..... ummm , I'm sorry ... I ..... "

After that, he gave me really bad looks like I was , now, some type of leper ... he totally avoided me after that

Excellent !

We would have a blast at a Pagan festival.