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Dr Marks Paranormal help.


Mark One

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Nah sinse me surjery is lacking punters at der mo. Av tunned mah attension to fings that guh bump int nite.*

If yee fink a spook is in dah gaff I can help.

If yee av bad dreams, me can help.

*Now since my surgery is lacking patients at the moment...Ive turned my attention to things of a paranormal nature. Come to me for advise on removing or rectifying that nagging feeling that your not alone in the house etc, blah, blah, blah

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There is sometimes a scratching sound outside my boat at night.....some said it was a swan wanting food, but I know its paranormal, although there is a swan scratching at the boat at night, I am certain this scratching sound is my grans uncles brothers neighbours dead pet gold fish.

Please help, what do I do? shall I buy one of those dolls which can talk to me through tele thingy?

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Sometimes I hear footsteps, scratching and even panting. At times (especially during thunderstorms) the sanctuary of my bed can be invaded. Other times objects like slippers or throw pillows are taken away and later found slightly damp and chewed. What could all this possibly mean?

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Sometimes I hear footsteps, scratching and even panting.

Sounds like a pervert ghost with a nasty rash.

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Sometimes I hear footsteps, scratching and even panting. At times (especially during thunderstorms) the sanctuary of my bed can be invaded. Other times objects like slippers or throw pillows are taken away and later found slightly damp and chewed. What could all this possibly mean?

Hmmm, this is a tough one. I think it could be..............hold on, sorry, my dog is tele thinging me something, nope its ok, he just needs a poo.

Could be a ghost from 1472, do you know who lived on the grounds at the time?

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There is sometimes a scratching sound outside my boat at night.....some said it was a swan wanting food, but I know its paranormal, although there is a swan scratching at the boat at night, I am certain this scratching sound is my grans uncles brothers neighbours dead pet gold fish.

Please help, what do I do? shall I buy one of those dolls which can talk to me through tele thingy?

Bang ah fiss tunk int water on a peece ov rope ter deter dat fantom tidler. Yur cwite rate mind, stiff fiss can soon boil int wales.

Me glass ball tes me dat yer uncle was cossed(cursed) be a chinaman.who dealt in fiss. Plass a ded kipper in yer slipper fer 7 days an den place it int tank.

Probrum solved!

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Sometimes I hear footsteps, scratching and even panting. At times (especially during thunderstorms) the sanctuary of my bed can be invaded. Other times objects like slippers or throw pillows are taken away and later found slightly damp and chewed. What could all this possibly mean?

Nah yer septics wi tell yer its a pet or rodunt probrum....wish-wash on him!

Noh many no about ah fantom colled Daddy Goulash. Dis feened scores yah tideness int kitchen an roundt hoss(house) Tidy up lass! an sprinkell bleech int every corner of yor hoss. By-by time for hang-ups on him me finks.

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Bang ah fiss tunk int water on a peece ov rope ter deter dat fantom tidler. Yur cwite rate mind, stiff fiss can soon boil int wales.

Me glass ball tes me dat yer uncle was cossed(cursed) be a chinaman.who dealt in fiss. Plass a ded kipper in yer slipper fer 7 days an den place it int tank.

Probrum solved!

Wow, your glass ball is great. I do think I had an uncle and I recall in my past a chinaman who I bought fish from....I think it was a Joo-heye hwung goo yoo, better known as number 46.

Thankyou Dr Marksparan.

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*Freetoroams mobile rings which she answers to a female voice*

Your welcome, now how do you wish to pay for Dr Marks assistance?

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Read the rules, im sure there isnt supposed to be role playing going on..... At least i think your role playing, so weirded out right now....

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*Freetoroams mobile rings which she answers to a female voice*

Your welcome, now how do you wish to pay for Dr Marks assistance?

amazing. Will you take some meat as payment? This lot is beginning to itch.

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Nah yer septics wi tell yer its a pet or rodunt probrum....wish-wash on him!

Noh many no about ah fantom colled Daddy Goulash. Dis feened scores yah tideness int kitchen an roundt hoss(house) Tidy up lass! an sprinkell bleech int every corner of yor hoss. By-by time for hang-ups on him me finks.

Whoa...and they say we 'Boston' speakers talk funny.

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amazing. Will you take some meat as payment? This lot is beginning to itch.

Um, erm mah not ungry...dunt matter lass...call it ah freeby

Read the rules, im sure there isnt supposed to be role playing going on..... At least i think your role playing, so weirded out right now....

Nah dis is me natrul speak son.

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Sometimes, my car makes funny sounds and then just stops. I suspect it could be the ghost of that ugly neighbour who kept hitchhiking and I always pretended I didn't see him because he smelled like he was already dead. Or it could be a number of various funny parts they put in the cars, god knows why. What do you recommend?

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Sometimes, my car makes funny sounds and then just stops. I suspect it could be the ghost of that ugly neighbour who kept hitchhiking and I always pretended I didn't see him because he smelled like he was already dead. Or it could be a number of various funny parts they put in the cars, god knows why. What do you recommend?

Ah martian int a spays ship stops yer cah an den steals yer for tests on him. Cuver cah int foil on him and drive into see - salt wil remov implants in engine witch will kill it two mind. Get new cah luv an drive diffo route frum nah on. If yee close yur eyes wen drivin martian man will lost yur.

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I wonder if anyone can help me.

I'm looking for a Mark One to English online translator.

mehbe yer nid won ov dis on him?

Chart_letters2.gif

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Affer lukin at me glass ball I av a message.

Gordon! Yuv left yer smokin pipe on the mantlepeece

D

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Ged thee mosst hunted teem in on it wiv dat looney - derack acorna. Thell will find summit an chang yer mind on him. Plus yee wil be on dah TV on him two

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I have another paranormal thing going on.

Sometimes I can't understand what people are saying, like in the above post. It's as if someone has cut up a ouija board and jumbled all the letters up.

I'm frightened!

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