Mark One Posted March 20, 2018 Author #1026 Share Posted March 20, 2018 10 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: Evening, Mark. Could I have a pint of tap water with ice and lemon, please? Oh, and one of those little paper parasols in it too. Thanks . Certainly luv, your taking it easy this evening. Have you had alot on onnit? That`ll be 15p for the razzle dazzle adorning your fishermans daughter. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 20, 2018 #1027 Share Posted March 20, 2018 58 minutes ago, Mark One said: REGULAR CUSTOMER???? I predict your next visit as being April the 9th at around 8pm. WRONG I got in and am on my first pint. Oh....i have had a look at the hardly used carpet and i was really looking for a blue one. So i will not be buying this hardly used one, although i know it was a bargain. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 20, 2018 Author #1028 Share Posted March 20, 2018 9 minutes ago, freetoroam said: WRONG I got in and am on my first pint. Oh....i have had a look at the hardly used carpet and i was really looking for a blue one. So i will not be buying this hardly used one, although i know it was a bargain. Got yah! You fell for the oldest trick in the book & likewise rushed back in to buy a pint. Cheers me dears! That carpet has gone a funny colour hasnt it. I do not want to know what the other regular bods did to it in my absence. All of this head strain is pushing more and more towards that narrow boat idea (mention a page or two back). See, me Uncle Malcolm owns one in Newark. Heres a pic of it. I used to frequent that offshore booze cruiser when I was younger - true story. The Castle Barge. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 20, 2018 #1029 Share Posted March 20, 2018 43 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: Evening, Mark. Could I have a pint of tap water with ice and lemon, please? Oh, and one of those little paper parasols in it too. Thanks . Tap water with ice....urghhh how could you drink a combination like that?! Anyway, Mark can i get a pint of lemonade, with 4 shots of worchester sauce, 2 shots of campari and a slice of lime, please. oh go on.....throw in 2 shots of Baileys too in it, i am treating myself. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 20, 2018 Author #1030 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Oh, can you see those ruins in the background? There was an unemployed trainee on our - get back into a job you...firm. This fellow was a goth & he liked blood etc, blah-deblah etc. Anyhows, around a year after completing our course and failing to secure a job he thought he could float in the air like a vampire - he probably meant to fly like a bat. So he clambered up those ruins and tried to fly and then spent along time in hospital with broken bones! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 20, 2018 Author #1031 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 minute ago, freetoroam said: Tap water with ice....urghhh how could you drink a combination like that?! Anyway, Mark can i get a pint of lemonade, with 4 shots of worchester sauce, 2 shots of campari and a slice of lime, please. oh go on.....throw in 2 shots of Baileys too in it, i am treating myself. Look, we have Iron brew, brown sauce, some watercress, an apple and enough babysham to last us into next year. Oh and there is fresh peanuts in the dog bowl on the bar. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 20, 2018 #1032 Share Posted March 20, 2018 6 minutes ago, Mark One said: Got yah! You fell for the oldest trick in the book & likewise rushed back in to buy a pint. Cheers me dears! That carpet has gone a funny colour hasnt it. I do not want to know what the other regular bods did to it in my absence. All of this head strain is pushing more and more towards that narrow boat idea (mention a page or two back). See, me Uncle Malcolm owns one in Newark. Heres a pic of it. I used to frequent that offshore booze cruiser when I was younger - true story. The Castle Barge. Narrow boat! Please do not tell me you are getting a narrowboat!!! I saw the way you drove your car....up the pavement through 2 hedges and a do not park here sign post and that was when you were sober! Please do not tell me i am going to have to watch out for you on the rivers, i thought i was safe here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 20, 2018 #1033 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, Mark One said: Look, we have Iron brew, brown sauce, some watercress, an apple and enough babysham to last us into next year. Oh and there is fresh peanuts in the dog bowl on the bar. Ok, i will have a pint of them and do not be tight on the peanuts, i'll have 8 in my pint please. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 20, 2018 Author #1034 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 minute ago, freetoroam said: Narrow boat! Please do not tell me you are getting a narrowboat!!! I saw the way you drove your car....up the pavement through 2 hedges and a do not park here sign post and that was when you were sober! Please do not tell me i am going to have to watch out for you on the rivers, i thought i was safe here. Just think though, you`ll be able to meet with, greet with & slurp with Ouija, Acute, Matt, Newbloodmoon, you (when you can be bothered to call in) and yours truly behind the very tight spaced bar. Who knows, maybe in the summer I could offer short booze breaks down the river. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 20, 2018 Author #1035 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 minute ago, freetoroam said: Ok, i will have a pint of them and do not be tight on the peanuts, i'll have 8 in my pint please. Certainly luv. Now you sound just like the type of lady I need to have a chat with about boating after the dragon is shut. Fancy a lock-in? (keep it quiet mind or a certain regular will bulldoze my fire doors again) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 20, 2018 #1036 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Ok i feel bad now. You tried to help me out with a bit if bargain hardly worn carpet, so i am going to help you out Mark. I got a boat for sale,we call them yoghutpots because they are not quite narrowboats, this one i will sell to you for.... .£158.67. Bargain or what!!! A lick of paint and it will be like new. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 20, 2018 #1037 Share Posted March 20, 2018 8 minutes ago, Mark One said: Certainly luv. Now you sound just like the type of lady I need to have a chat with about boating after the dragon is shut. Fancy a lock-in? (keep it quiet mind or a certain regular will bulldoze my fire doors again) A lock in...? Is this that cellar thing i have heard about? Will there be peanuts? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 20, 2018 Author #1038 Share Posted March 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, freetoroam said: Ok i feel bad now. You tried to help me out with a bit if bargain hardly worn carpet, so i am going to help you out Mark. I got a boat for sale,we call them yoghutpots because they are not quite narrowboats, this one i will sell to you for.... .£158.67. Bargain or what!!! A lick of paint and it will be like new. What kind of shark tried to eat that for dinner then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 20, 2018 Author #1039 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, freetoroam said: A lock in...? Is this that cellar thing i have heard about? Will there be peanuts? The cellars of the G&D are a closely guarded secret. And as for the peanuts - they're ruddy everywhere! At least with no more carpets I can just stamp on em. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 20, 2018 #1040 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Just now, Mark One said: The cellars of the G&D are a closely guarded secret. And as for the peanuts - they're ruddy everywhere! At least with no more carpets I can just stamp on em. Crushed nuts...love it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 20, 2018 Author #1041 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 minute ago, freetoroam said: Crushed nuts...love it. Shush! Be quiet or others will want the same thing! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted March 20, 2018 #1042 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Did someone mention crushed nuts and a lock-in? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 20, 2018 #1043 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: Did someone mention crushed nuts and a lock-in? Yes 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 20, 2018 #1044 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Right i am popping off to watch a film on the horror channel. If its $#/€ i will be back before the lock in...otherwise please leave the side window in the ladies toilet open so i can climb in later. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted March 21, 2018 #1045 Share Posted March 21, 2018 So does that mean any guy here during the lock in is gonna get nuts crushed? I am asking for a friend. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 21, 2018 Author #1046 Share Posted March 21, 2018 5 hours ago, newbloodmoon said: So does that mean any guy here during the lock in is gonna get nuts crushed? I am asking for a friend. *wields a broom handle* This pub must be the only drum on the manner where the locals go barmy for a packet of rejected dry roasted. Visits to my cellars are on a invitation basis only, John. Its normally the ladies that find such dark and damp places of interest anyway - not blokes! They prefer to stay above board, sinking pints and moaning about cows, tractors and hedges. And anyway...I dont want to give the Drayman, the willies. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted March 21, 2018 #1047 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I've got a terrible hangover. Was I in here last night? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted March 21, 2018 #1048 Share Posted March 21, 2018 (edited) 36 minutes ago, Mark One said: *wields a broom handle* Flips long curly hair and kicks up the voice an octive....”Is that a broom handle you’re weilding or are you just excited to see girlies....” scootches towards the door. Edited March 21, 2018 by newbloodmoon 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 21, 2018 Author #1049 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 hour ago, newbloodmoon said: Flips long curly hair and kicks up the voice an octive....”Is that a broom handle you’re weilding or are you just excited to see girlies....” scootches towards the door. Ladies yes! Odd bods, no! Yet another un joins the likes of Dark Derek in my pub. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 21, 2018 #1050 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Sorry i missed the lock-in last night, any nuts left? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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