freetoroam Posted March 21, 2018 #1051 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 hour ago, acute said: I've got a terrible hangover. Was I in here last night? Yes but when you started dribbling, we threw you out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 21, 2018 Author #1052 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 minute ago, freetoroam said: Sorry i missed the lock-in last night, any nuts left? Missed it? Your name sure does match your pub habits but you may need to change the ROAM bit into WANDERing off alot Tell you what, why not let yourself be shackled to a bar stool? That way you can enjoy a drink and gradually lose the disappearance act. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 21, 2018 Author #1053 Share Posted March 21, 2018 4 minutes ago, freetoroam said: Yes but when you started dribbling, we threw you out. Yeh, into the pig sty with some luxurious second hand carpeting for bedding. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 21, 2018 #1054 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 minute ago, Mark One said: Missed it? Your name sure does match your pub habits but you may need to change the ROAM bit into WANDERing off alot Tell you what, why not let yourself be shackled to a bar stool? That way you can enjoy a drink and gradually lose the disappearance act. Shackled! I am a lady so i do not get SHACKLED. But i am up for being chained behind the bar for a few hours, i could poor a few drinks. ...for the punters, obviously. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 21, 2018 #1055 Share Posted March 21, 2018 3 minutes ago, Mark One said: Yeh, into the pig sty with some luxurious second hand carpeting for bedding. If he dribbles on the hardly used -luxurious- carpet you will have to reduce the price if i decide to buy it after all. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 21, 2018 Author #1056 Share Posted March 21, 2018 5 minutes ago, freetoroam said: Shackled! I am a lady so i do not get SHACKLED. But i am up for being chained behind the bar for a few hours, i could poor a few drinks. ...for the punters, obviously. *takes several, interested, careful notes* Blast! Cannot do that today luv, maybe tonight or another day. Derek Ospreys chickens are taking refuge behind the bar for now. And besides...all this talk of chains, dark cellars, Draymen, manky carpets and spoilt nibbles is giving me and the punters dizzy spells. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted March 22, 2018 #1057 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Pokes head in, crab walks along the wall. Shifty look left, shifty look right, wants some bass that’s straight up Godzilla. “yumm, some nuts” and does the reverse of above to get back out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 22, 2018 Author #1058 Share Posted March 22, 2018 *daunting look* Now its quite common for the average bod to end up all "elephants trunk" in here. But the talk of a real quadruped with a long spout relieving bods of there hard earned nuts, is simply not cricket. Glendas old fellah - Barry, swears blind that the said "carry castle" is also running a protection racket on Moon Street. Two van fulls of Cockers Dry roasted a week or yer windows get put through! Jobless Raymond off of Drain Street has put it about that hes seen it bothering some coalmen. Micky spelt-like Brick met the beast and ended up handing over his wallet - which contained £11 and 4 shillings. Old Dotty Greyhounds washing was soiled by the said creatures "doings." And guess what the police are doing about it all? Thats right, Jack $%^&! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted March 22, 2018 #1059 Share Posted March 22, 2018 11 hours ago, newbloodmoon said: Pokes head in, crab walks along the wall. Shifty look left, shifty look right, wants some bass that’s straight up Godzilla. “yumm, some nuts” and does the reverse of above to get back out. Never eat the free bar snacks in here, unless you want Streptococcus, Staphylococcus, and various other Coccuses. The peanuts are 30% urine anyway. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 22, 2018 Author #1060 Share Posted March 22, 2018 3 hours ago, acute said: Never eat the free bar snacks in here, unless you want Streptococcus, Staphylococcus, and various other Coccuses. The peanuts are 30% urine anyway. And bar Mr Moon too - its probably for the best. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted March 22, 2018 #1061 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Can i hire the back room out for the night a fortnight Saturday it Billy fingers & stinky Sues wedding anniversary they been married 23 years and I was gonna give the a party to remember 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted March 23, 2018 #1062 Share Posted March 23, 2018 9 hours ago, Mark One said: And bar Mr Moon too - its probably for the best. Hey now what kind of bar would this be without a few nuts like me? Don’t ypu dare say respectable. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 23, 2018 Author #1063 Share Posted March 23, 2018 14 hours ago, Matt221 said: Can i hire the back room out for the night a fortnight Saturday it Billy fingers & stinky Sues wedding anniversary they been married 23 years and I was gonna give the a party to remember Only if you promise me he wont start anymore fires. I know he just been released but I dont want any of his brandy fueled fire eating tricks in my drum! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 23, 2018 Author #1064 Share Posted March 23, 2018 4 hours ago, newbloodmoon said: Hey now what kind of bar would this be without a few nuts like me? Don’t ypu dare say respectable. *shakes newbloodmoons hand* No, dont worry about it John. Its actually you who led me into a great new business enterprise - bagged nuts. Cheers mate. No more finger food in the gents or on the bar. Just freshly sealed packets behind the bar - 12p a bag. Now then, how many packets would you like squire? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted March 23, 2018 #1065 Share Posted March 23, 2018 13 minutes ago, Mark One said: Only if you promise me he wont start anymore fires. I know he just been released but I dont want any of his brandy fueled fire eating tricks in my drum! No he doesn't do that after that"little mishap"with his neighbours house's and gardens he just concentrates on his knife chucking now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted March 23, 2018 #1066 Share Posted March 23, 2018 28 minutes ago, Mark One said: *shakes newbloodmoons hand* No, dont worry about it John. Its actually you who led me into a great new business enterprise - bagged nuts. Cheers mate. No more finger food in the gents or on the bar. Just freshly sealed packets behind the bar - 12p a bag. Now then, how many packets would you like squire? Well erm yes of course, you’re welcome. (Hands over a £50 note) How ‘bout that many? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 23, 2018 Author #1067 Share Posted March 23, 2018 19 minutes ago, Matt221 said: No he doesn't do that after that"little mishap"with his neighbours house's and gardens he just concentrates on his knife chucking now Little mishaps, yeh right...So when the filth caught him at 2 am in the morning trying to set the cobble stones alight (wearing only a pair of socks and a towel) he was only having one of his borderline wobble moments? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 23, 2018 Author #1068 Share Posted March 23, 2018 4 minutes ago, newbloodmoon said: Well erm yes of course, you’re welcome. (Hands over a £50 note) How ‘bout that many? *Snatches the note & hides it* Lets just say this, John now has credit in the Dragon. A pint is it? Two packets of nuts? And how about some bangers and mash to soak up the ale lad? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted March 23, 2018 #1069 Share Posted March 23, 2018 All righty oh mighty that sounds fantastic, and stuff 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 23, 2018 Author #1070 Share Posted March 23, 2018 *rings the bell* Fellow Bods and Bodettes. Mr Newbloodmoon has just put £50 £20 behind the bar! The drinks are onnim!!!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted March 23, 2018 #1071 Share Posted March 23, 2018 2 hours ago, Mark One said: Little mishaps, yeh right...So when the filth caught him at 2 am in the morning trying to set the cobble stones alight (wearing only a pair of socks and a towel) he was only having one of his borderline wobble moments? I'm beginning to think I shouldn't trust him he told me he was "sparking clogs"as the song goes 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 23, 2018 #1072 Share Posted March 23, 2018 32 minutes ago, Mark One said: *rings the bell* Fellow Bods and Bodettes. Mr Newbloodmoon has just put £50 £20 behind the bar! The drinks are onnim!!!! £20? Wow. I'll have a triple JD and coke with 1 piece of ice and throw in some crushed nuts please. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 23, 2018 #1073 Share Posted March 23, 2018 2 hours ago, newbloodmoon said: Well erm yes of course, you’re welcome. (Hands over a £50 note) How ‘bout that many? We have not seen a £50 note in here before...you must be loaded or a bank robber. Either way you are welcome here anytime. We are such a nice friendly bunch..come and sit here with us, my friend 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted March 23, 2018 Author #1074 Share Posted March 23, 2018 8 minutes ago, freetoroam said: £20? Wow. I'll have a triple JD and coke with 1 piece of ice and throw in some crushed nuts please. Yeh, coming right up. Dunno where Mr Moon has gone? Must be having trouble in the gents or summit? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted March 23, 2018 #1075 Share Posted March 23, 2018 1 minute ago, Mark One said: Yeh, coming right up. Dunno where Mr Moon has gone? Must be having trouble in the gents or summit? Mr Moon has just popped to the bank to get some more of those £50's. Johnny two axe and Concrete Shane has gone with him for .... his safety. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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