Mark One Posted May 16, 2018 Author #1326 Share Posted May 16, 2018 2 hours ago, Matt221 said: Ahhh tis good to be back,that bloke in lanterns dive was my twin bruvver mick the monkey so I'll ave a pint of pernod please and whatever anyone else wants thankyou squire Gawd lad, you know it makes sense. Now then...*rings the bell*...That good egg Matt has returned and the drinks are on him! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted May 16, 2018 #1327 Share Posted May 16, 2018 * dashes in at the sound of 'free drinks' * A pint of egg flip, courtesy of a good egg, if you please, landlord. Cheers, Matt. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 16, 2018 Author #1328 Share Posted May 16, 2018 *nips upstairs put on a outfit with long haired wig and straw hat* *rushes outside via the back door and runs around to the main entrance* *puts on a high pitched voice* Ooooh I am so dearly parched after pressing those flowers into my book. Oh look at me, an innocent and vulnerable lady who means no harm. The vicar was impressed though with my collection of erm...daisies. Good afternoon to all of you fellows now can I order a snake bite please barman? Where is the barman? Whats did you say fine sir stood there with a frothy pint! Free drinks...how go on then why not & I`ll have 6 bag of nuts, 8 bags of pork scratchings and a bottle of wine plus that dripping enriched boiled onion with tripe and carrots looks tempting. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 17, 2018 Author #1329 Share Posted May 17, 2018 Read this dribble in the local rag. Princess Diana is not a pop-star George! And she deffo does not have to shave her chin every day either!!!! Get yer hair cut, lose the face paint, put on some cords, a decent shirt and get a real job down the mines!!!!!!!!!! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted May 18, 2018 #1330 Share Posted May 18, 2018 9 hours ago, Mark One said: Read this dribble in the local rag. Princess Diana is not a pop-star George! And she deffo does not have to shave her chin every day either!!!! Get yer hair cut, lose the face paint, put on some cords, a decent shirt and get a real job down the mines!!!!!!!!!! Perhaps he could put on the white face and entertain here at the george as a mime. Just think the amount of produce you could sell just to throw at him. orders a 3 finger scotch and some fish and chips. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 18, 2018 Author #1331 Share Posted May 18, 2018 4 hours ago, newbloodmoon said: Perhaps he could put on the white face and entertain here at the george as a mime. Just think the amount of produce you could sell just to throw at him. orders a 3 finger scotch and some fish and chips. Thats a good idea John. I`ll have to have a dig around Weevelton. Theres surely got to be at least one bloke who likes the same look and material. Any bread un butter wit yer fish dinner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted May 18, 2018 #1332 Share Posted May 18, 2018 Ahh yes the bread un butter, perhaps some slaw with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 18, 2018 Author #1333 Share Posted May 18, 2018 For an extra 5 bob John, I`ll reserve you a table outside by my pool Just watch out for those blasted river flies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted May 19, 2018 #1334 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Plops down the 5 bob and pulls electric fly swatter from backpack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 19, 2018 Author #1335 Share Posted May 19, 2018 6 hours ago, newbloodmoon said: Plops down the 5 bob and pulls electric fly swatter from backpack. Gawd lad. Thee may be bothered by thah midges too...and ants, wasps, hornets, rogue mutts. Oh and keep yer minces peeled for Big Merv in his Lincoln green jumper. He been out there for that last few hours soaking up the sun, John. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted May 20, 2018 #1336 Share Posted May 20, 2018 *Hobbles into pub* What do you have for a sore, slightly hungover person? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 20, 2018 Author #1337 Share Posted May 20, 2018 23 minutes ago, tcgram said: *Hobbles into pub* What do you have for a sore, slightly hungover person? Have a butchers at this. Now we be out of coconuts, see theres no call for them here. We have lemons. No herring but we do have some ham left over. No sauna but I could run you a hot, steamy bath luv. No sand. None of that polish muck. Beer...duh! Can easily spice up some mouth watering tripe. We have shed loads of onions. We have beefburgers and grated cheese but no pizza. Forget the italians herb muck. No pickled plums but I do have pickled eggs. We have hair of the dog: slices of apple, orange and pineapple juice, ice and a lemon all dropped into a jug of stout, vodka and cider. None of that eastern promise rammle in my gaff. Oooh we do have bacon butties. Ginseng? Ruddy foreigners! Garlic is available, just dont consume it near to Dark Derek. Sadly, all the pins are in use - holding up pictures. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted May 20, 2018 #1338 Share Posted May 20, 2018 3 hours ago, Mark One said: Have a butchers at this. Now we be out of coconuts, see theres no call for them here. We have lemons. No herring but we do have some ham left over. No sauna but I could run you a hot, steamy bath luv. No sand. None of that polish muck. Beer...duh! Can easily spice up some mouth watering tripe. We have shed loads of onions. We have beefburgers and grated cheese but no pizza. Forget the italians herb muck. No pickled plums but I do have pickled eggs. We have hair of the dog: slices of apple, orange and pineapple juice, ice and a lemon all dropped into a jug of stout, vodka and cider. None of that eastern promise rammle in my gaff. Oooh we do have bacon butties. Ginseng? Ruddy foreigners! Garlic is available, just dont consume it near to Dark Derek. Sadly, all the pins are in use - holding up pictures. Thanks m'dear. I think I will just have some carbonated water with lemon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 20, 2018 Author #1339 Share Posted May 20, 2018 Well why not soak it all up with a tasty butty or pie? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted May 21, 2018 #1340 Share Posted May 21, 2018 On 5/20/2018 at 6:01 AM, tcgram said: *Hobbles into pub* What do you have for a sore, slightly hungover person? Between the critters and drinking with big merv I thought you said at a glance “sore thighs”. The only cure for that is a crisp high five and a stout margarita. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 22, 2018 Author #1341 Share Posted May 22, 2018 On 5/21/2018 at 3:40 PM, newbloodmoon said: Between the critters and drinking with big merv I thought you said at a glance “sore thighs”. The only cure for that is a crisp high five and a stout margarita. Common mick with the woolly hat just choked on his 5th pint of Mixed after hearing that. See he suffers with sore knees and feet. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted May 22, 2018 #1342 Share Posted May 22, 2018 On 20/05/2018 at 9:04 PM, Mark One said: Well why not soak it all up with a tasty butty or pie? Those sarnies are very reasonably priced. Also, I couldn't help noticing that someone who can spell 'luncheon' and even 'mayonnaise', can't spell 'sausage' or 'roast'! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 22, 2018 Author #1343 Share Posted May 22, 2018 2 hours ago, ouija ouija said: Those sarnies are very reasonably priced. Also, I couldn't help noticing that someone who can spell 'luncheon' and even 'mayonnaise', can't spell 'sausage' or 'roast'! Bobby Crab, otherwise known as the pie-man off of Rangoon Avenue, once thought like you did. His sausage pies and roast tripe delights received a blasphemic reaction which soon led to a revolt with shouts and whispers of a witch at work. Old Crabby & his sandwich business was never seen nor heard of again. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted May 23, 2018 #1344 Share Posted May 23, 2018 22 hours ago, Mark One said: Bobby Crab, otherwise known as the pie-man off of Rangoon Avenue, once thought like you did. His sausage pies and roast tripe delights received a blasphemic reaction which soon led to a revolt with shouts and whispers of a witch at work. Old Crabby & his sandwich business was never seen nor heard of again. Ahhh the memories,that boy Bobby and his roast tripe I can almost smell the finished product ..... actually I think I'll put that memory to the back of my mind and I happen to know what really went into them"sausage" pies they weren't really sausage 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 23, 2018 Author #1345 Share Posted May 23, 2018 1 hour ago, Matt221 said: Ahhh the memories,that boy Bobby and his roast tripe I can almost smell the finished product ..... actually I think I'll put that memory to the back of my mind and I happen to know what really went into them"sausage" pies they weren't really sausage *whispers with concerns* Its sozage John! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 24, 2018 Author #1346 Share Posted May 24, 2018 Well The Sun Inn has finally shut its doors (at long last.) Old Dirty Den really brought the town down with his misuse of that drinking hole. Its a real shame though cos thats the very place where a young Mark cut his teeth in terms of drinking beer, no wait - fighting...erm, no - boozing. Now, Fisty Phil owned it way back then...oh such happy memories of passing out after a good fight and 6 pints. Anyhows, when Fisty dropped dead (after a scuffle around the back near the outside toilets), his son took over and thats when it all turned sour. The Sun then became a place where a suit of plate armour was a sensible choice of clothing. Random christmas decorations could be found untouched all year round as well as old food (or fingers) left behind the radiators. The toilets were often occupied by animals, birds or punch drunk gorillas and the floors were soiled with...well you know. The skittles table was a - you better win chief or Big Martin over there will duh-yer, kind of thing and Dirty Dens drinking policy was a - 4 pints before you leave or violence. I doubt that drum will ever be a pub again. https://www.wreckoftheweek.co.uk/2012/10/former-country-pubs-for-sale.html 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted May 24, 2018 #1347 Share Posted May 24, 2018 Such a sad story about the Sun Inn..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted May 25, 2018 #1348 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Tosses down a drink for cutting teeth on boozing and chain link bikinis. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted May 25, 2018 Author #1349 Share Posted May 25, 2018 *Studies the Friday night bods* Awww come on yer miserable bleeders, cheer up! Your glum looking boats are so depressin that when yer stare at the wall, yer meking the wallpaper peel away 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted May 26, 2018 #1350 Share Posted May 26, 2018 *Wanders in* I hate to be the bearer of bad news but someone has....shall we say....relieved themselves in the pool once again. So since I cannot get in the pool, can I get a vodka coke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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