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The George And The Dragon is now open.


Mark One

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Dunt foh-get that thah Dragon is your place ter visist onnit to escape the heat owtside.  From ter day onwards, the coal fire will not be lit nor kept alight all day.

And ter tempt yer first, why not sink a pint of Mild un ice cubes or maybe an icy lemonade un rum? 

Thee owt door pool be ready for fun and soakings.

And before yer decide, let me say that two DATEMATE bods have clicked.

DTdecCMXcAAm-tU.jpg

^ Joe Beef, here ^

and

teletext-Matt-Chapman.gif

Shy Tristan.

 

 

 

 

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Is this establishment open to any or do I need a membership card?

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On 7/31/2018 at 3:09 PM, Thorazeen said:

Is this establishment open to any or do I need a membership card?

Come in John, cos its free entry and use of the Gents plus the uses of the Dartboard.

Now what drink can I tempt you with then?  I bet you are a Sherry person.

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The flag is back up again and swinging freely in the air.  The virus that had laid out many bods in me pub has gone.  But if you do start to develop the symptoms of 100s of mouth ulcers int back of thee north un south or the shivers with a decent meat sweat - please seek professional help like we did.  Doc Marks little bag of tricks had us all up and running  back to the bar again in less than two days.  

Here a few tips from the doc.

1. Wash thee mits after "guh-ing to see the vicar" (visit the gents)

2. Wash thee mits after sinkin a pint.

3. Wash thee mits after touching another bod.

4.  Wash thee mits before and after a plate of lard un toast.

5. Bathe more than once a week.

6. Wear gloves were possible.

7. Smoke a pipe instead of a fag.  Fags gather germs from your longers-and-leavers which then settle into yee lips as yer tek a drag.

8. Dont drink the tap water or pool water.

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14 hours ago, Mark One said:

Come in John, cos its free entry and use of the Gents plus the uses of the Dartboard.

Now what drink can I tempt you with then?  I bet you are a Sherry person.

I like sherrys in most sizes and the drinks are good as well. The doc tips are helpful as well, I guess I’ll pack the pipe with a vanilla cavendish so as  not to gag out the regulars.

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4 hours ago, Thorazeen said:

I like sherrys in most sizes and the drinks are good as well. The doc tips are helpful as well, I guess I’ll pack the pipe with a vanilla cavendish so as  not to gag out the regulars.

Well me lad I thinks its best to spoon feed you into the world of a G&D slurper.  Why not start off your amazing journey into intoxication with a Snakebite (Half pint of strong lager/half pint of smirnof ice)  Oooh and how about a double shot of Barley wine, John.

As for the pipe, your lucky that this drum is set in the 1980s.  If it was set anytime along the wrong side of 2000AD you would be forced outside for a crafty drag, son.

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Well can't very well argue with such sage advice, so is there house darts or is it bring your own?

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3 hours ago, Thorazeen said:

Well can't very well argue with such sage advice, so is there house darts or is it bring your own?

I'd bring your own the house darts, if you can manage to pick then up are fairly awkward to lob

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And whilst we are discussing entertainment at the Dragon, how can we forget Micky Knuckles stuffed nature displays.

Just check out Mickys Red Squirrel - which may I say amazes many half-cut bods with its realism.

Spoiler

the-worst-taxidermy-fails-33.jpg

EDIT

That stuffed form often stuns folk and this often progresses into " heavy " vodka fueled " debates " about it actually being a small dog or maybe an aged weasel. 

Edited by Mark One
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On 02/08/2018 at 3:06 AM, Mark One said:

Well me lad .... Why not start off your amazing journey into intoxication with a Snakebite (Half pint of strong lager/half pint of smirnof ice)  Oooh and how about a double shot of Barley wine, John.

Here, barkeep! Since the patron is new,  and previously unknown to you, 'ow the Dickens can u pre-characterize it as an "amazing journey"?, pray tell, since all it may involve is a very blurry crawl, to the alley, hopefully, for an immense, icky upchuck? 

I only just blew in myself, so if im underestimating the quality if the establishment based on mere appearances (ie, the above post)... and if this has been discussed at some length, assurances have been given, and/or the party is game for whatever, forgive me...

A cold, dry martini pls... olive... ta

Edited by purrrpetrator
May as well order while I'm here...
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1 hour ago, purrrpetrator said:

Here, barkeep! Since the patron is new,  and previously unknown to you, 'ow the Dickens can u pre-characterize it as an "amazing journey"?, pray tell, since all it may involve is a very blurry crawl, to the alley, hopefully, for an immense, icky upchuck? 

I only just blew in myself, so if im underestimating the quality if the establishment based on mere appearances (ie, the above post)... and if this has been discussed at some length, assurances have been given, and/or the party is game for whatever, forgive me...

A cold, dry martini pls... olive... ta

Yer need to study more lad and take plenty of hom-wok home - the bottled beer variety from me shelves.

One drink ready foh yer sir but how about a pickled egg or nuts?

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Mark? Have you by any chance had a few camels show up out of order in your yard? I ordered up some snacks for over in the DA thread and it seems to have gone astray or held up on the needle eye again.

 

 

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Well, Purple Ronnie has been gossing the goss about some posh looking horses sighted near The Lantern Pub.  It could be them and I wouldnt be surprised to learn that Jimmy Lantern is up to his old tricks again.  Ive said it before and I`ll say it again - Flat Roofed Pubs are breeding grounds for trouble and dross.   Oh and Jimmy is a right Rotter!

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7 hours ago, rashore said:

Mark? Have you by any chance had a few camels show up out of order in your yard? I ordered up some snacks for over in the DA thread and it seems to have gone astray or held up on the needle eye again.

 

 

Just been listening to the whispers in the shadows and I`m pleased to say that Ive got your order more or less ready for shipping.

GOODS LIST

1100 Yorkshire Puddings

158 Cottage Pies

274 Cornish Pasties

1204 Lincolnshire Sausages

25,000 Full English Breakfasts

75,000 Tea Bags

120 Hot Pots

600 PUKKA Pies

75 Apple Crumbles

8000 Sunday Roasts (mix of chicken or beef or lamb or pork with garden peas, diced carrots, cabbage, mash, roasties and gravy)

5 Lava Bread

2000 jug fulls of real gravy

1 Ginger Feathered Ostrich (called Andrew)

400 Budgies

27 Goldfish

25,000 free copies of a book: How to cook like the French

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One is tempted to sing "and a partridge in a pear tree" ...... but one won't.

'5 Lava bread'?! Lava bread?! Where/who the heck did you get that from?

A pint of Cinzano, please ...... ice and lemon. I'm amazed peeps are using the pool today ..... it's actually bubbling with the heat! :o

 

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1 hour ago, ouija ouija said:

One is tempted to sing "and a partridge in a pear tree" ...... but one won't.

'5 Lava bread'?! Lava bread?! Where/who the heck did you get that from?

A pint of Cinzano, please ...... ice and lemon. I'm amazed peeps are using the pool today ..... it's actually bubbling with the heat! :o

 

And one wont, onnit!  Thats a private order...erm...to help starving orphans in another country...erm...where they still dont have colour tvs...*phew*

Thee Lava Bread is an acquired taste and its made from the hands of a local called Sinbad the Sailor - that Turk Bod who lives along Sewers Parade.  He gets a bit clumsy with the spices mind and many still recommend that you only tackle a slice in the winter months.  Some of Sinbads loafs have been known to burst into flames.

Ooooh, that sounds nice dear.  I`ll pour myself a pint of that too.  The pool had a ant nest, colony, breeding explosion underneath the slabs.  Old Cocko eventually sorted that but it came with a cost for the Jurassic plumber.  The red ants attacked him and now hes covered from head to toe in boils.  So talking of bubbling, thats not the heat but is actually suicidal bugs who refused to leave.  They're seeping into the pool through tiny cracks and gaps in the slabs.

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15 hours ago, Mark One said:

Just been listening to the whispers in the shadows and I`m pleased to say that Ive got your order more or less ready for shipping.

GOODS LIST

1100 Yorkshire Puddings

158 Cottage Pies

274 Cornish Pasties

1204 Lincolnshire Sausages

25,000 Full English Breakfasts

75,000 Tea Bags

120 Hot Pots

600 PUKKA Pies

75 Apple Crumbles

8000 Sunday Roasts (mix of chicken or beef or lamb or pork with garden peas, diced carrots, cabbage, mash, roasties and gravy)

5 Lava Bread

2000 jug fulls of real gravy

1 Ginger Feathered Ostrich (called Andrew)

400 Budgies

27 Goldfish

25,000 free copies of a book: How to cook like the French

Thank you so much sir. Andrew caused a bit of a stir along with the budgies and goldfish. Some folks didn’t realize the staff wasn’t part of the menu at first. But bless that soulless creatures heart, Andrew is handling everything delightfully.

So much so I felt I could nip out from the party there and stop and take you up on a chilled drink. Low alcohol and savory refreshing please. 

And feeling a bit sassy and needing to do more than just walk around in my new dancing shoes. Care for a dance love? You know how long you can be away from the bar. Pick a step and help me properly break in my shoes for a minute or few if you would be so kind.

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15 hours ago, rashore said:

Thank you so much sir. Andrew caused a bit of a stir along with the budgies and goldfish. Some folks didn’t realize the staff wasn’t part of the menu at first. But bless that soulless creatures heart, Andrew is handling everything delightfully.

So much so I felt I could nip out from the party there and stop and take you up on a chilled drink. Low alcohol and savory refreshing please. 

And feeling a bit sassy and needing to do more than just walk around in my new dancing shoes. Care for a dance love? You know how long you can be away from the bar. Pick a step and help me properly break in my shoes for a minute or few if you would be so kind.

Feels good to know that gud-owld Andrew is doing fine.

A dance huh, I've always got time to embrace a like-minded dealer in a bit of dancing luv.  Have you ever thought of moving over here to Weelveton?  The Dragon sure does lack the women's touch

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21 hours ago, Blue Star said:

How de do dee, me dears', May I have a frozen strawberry daiquiri, please. :)

Oh...its you.  Where yer bin?  Traveling within exotic places...trying to find yourself?

*Studies drinks card*

Now the drink isnt...no wait...oh, no its not on me list luv.  How about a Bloody Mary instead?

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It's a very simple cocktail...

1 part lime juice, 2 parts rum, 6 frozen strawberries and I like to add a shot of agave syrup or strawberry syrup too.

Blitz in a blender... Pour and serve in a large daiquiri glass.

See, Simples.... It's basically an alcoholic slushie.

I'm rather good at cocktails, shall I be your Mixologist?

Edited by Blue Star
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Well, that sounds nice.  So then one pint of mixed then.  Not quite sure what staring a spoon is gonna do, by hey - give it a whirl.

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19 hours ago, rashore said:

Thank you so much sir. Andrew caused a bit of a stir along with the budgies and goldfish. Some folks didn’t realize the staff wasn’t part of the menu at first. But bless that soulless creatures heart, Andrew is handling everything delightfully.

Thank you for being quick to clarify and alleviate concerns.

You're quite right, Andrew did indeed handle everything delightfully. The goldfish were slippery little suckers, but terribly impressive with their ability to swan dive from one drinking glass to another. Their survival instincts are very strong. The budgies were little chatterboxes, and such gossips! but extremely cute and friendly. They did mention one thing that peaked my interest - GHOSTS! Yes that's right, ghosts! I had no idea the George and Dragon was haunted.

So excuse me while I order a vodka martini and set up my paranormal equipment. It's going to be a long night.

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6 hours ago, Mark One said:

Feels good to know that gud-owld Andrew is doing fine.

A dance huh, I've always got time to embrace a like-minded dealer in a bit of dancing luv.  Have you ever thought of moving over here to Weelveton?  The Dragon sure does lack the women's touch

Oh my dear man... surely you don't expect me to entertain such a potentially titillating notion before you have even properly spun me about and swept me off me feet now do you? I should rap you with my fan for that, only that I didn't carry it today... shame that. It's plumage is such that it can gild a Dragon quite nicely.

But tonight if you will call out a jig or a drawn step perhaps? I'll nudge the delightful lady offering up her mixing services and ask for a godfather on the rocks please. Do let's give Blue Star a chance and relieve you from the bar and treat my new dancing shoes as they deserve.

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