The George And The Dragon is now open.

[Mark One]

Many of my loyal slurpers became fascinated by the Dragons - Save the Planet scheme.  And what with santa coming soon, many saw the prizes as a real boon.  And so, I've started the rock in your crock earlier than normal.

Gud old " Marrow" is the first bod to collect 10 tickets.  After spending 1 full day sinking pints of mixed he was awarded with a brand new Wheelbarrow. 

But hey, it's gets better!  One of his pots contained a small lump of concrete with a number 6 onnit.  To his and everybody's surprise, this brought him a sack of Bulgerian coal - lucky lad. 

[newbloodmoon]

Wow! Led off with the best prizes with wheelbarrow and coal. I hear tell that the Bulgerian coal comes from the purest coal veins. I sure hope ole “marrow” got a right proper escort from the local bully boys, of course 10% of the protection racket comes back to the G&D as it should.

[Mark One]

Oh he's defo proud of owning a new Wheelbarrow.  The odd bods are calling him, "marrah the barrah". Some of the lads are getting jealous.  Especially since I deliberately let it be known that there is a brand spanking new, grade A tin bath - a Imperiial Relax model - going begging.

[Mark One]

Oh, and one last thing.  I had to have stern words with Willy McSkippy.  Finding your own rock and painting a random number onnit will get you barred.

[newbloodmoon]

Oh Willy McSkippy, for shame. (Puts 5 pound note in Willy’s pocket as I wag finger under his nose) Cheating is bad, very bad.

Edited November 10, 2018 by newbloodmoon

[Mark One]

There as been another winner lads!  Four tins of Portuguese crab meat goes to Niel Jilter, that bloke who lives on his own rearing snakes.

Edited November 13, 2018 by Mark One

[newbloodmoon]

Tears up my tickets, wont call for a recoun for everytjing here at the G&D is above board. Niel Jitter came out on top for this one.  I just hope I win the round of Venezualion beaver cheese.

[Mark One]

8 Orkney Steak un Kidney Pudduns went to our latest (and most trollied scholar of the falling down water) winner.  The one and only, Daddy Goulash, won but it was quickly noticed that the said Pudduns we're in fact off.  So fair being fair led to a trade for an Antarctic stuffed goat.  Lucky lad!

Edited November 17, 2018 by Mark One

[newbloodmoon]

Hope Daddy Goulash knows that antarctic goats are static magnets whether they are stuffed or not. Shocking I know but whatcha gonna do but hope that Goulash has an updated pace maker. Would hate for it to short out as he gives “george” huggings, loving, and pettings.

[tcgram]

I'm feeling a bit of a chill, something to warm up, please.   

[Mark One]

Well I was about to suggest you go and sit by the fire, luv.  But Winnie the tree hugger is sat there, staring aimlessly into the flames of Bulgerian coal.  He had a shock the other day.  He made the mistake of venturing far beyond the boundaries of Weevelton and into the big city.  He wandered into an IKEA store and all of that wooden furniture...well it gave him a right turn, I can tell yah. So you'll have stand by the radiator in the store room.

Edited November 19, 2018 by Mark One

[tcgram]

That's a great idea except Sticky Mick is in there, warming up.   How about some hot buttered rum?   

[Mark One]

24 minutes ago, tcgram said:

That's a great idea except Sticky Mick is in there, warming up.   How about some hot buttered rum?   

Fair enough, my little bundle of sparkling tinsel.  Sticky uses that room sometimes to develop some of his more special pictures.  He shouldn't be in there right now though.

[Mark One]

 

Dark Derek has completed his restyling or has come out of his midlife crisis - alive and kicking.  Some of us who have seen the new Derek we're left speachless, suspicious and concerned, but the transformation is remarkable.

 

Come, next year, Dainty Derek has plans for Weevelton.  He is looking at a leadership role to promote better incomes and more employment.  He's also (and bizarrely) interested in getting a good grip on crime in our town with a promise to lower it!

 

Talking of the unemployed - he's developed a thing of sadness for the deprived.and neglected.  Those refused work due to having form have a new hero in Dainty Derek.  He's made a pledge to help them up the employment ladder.

 

Anyhows, here's the first official photo of the new Derek.  Would love to know your thoughts, cheers!

Quote

Where is dark del these days, bruv?

He's in the next post, John

[Mark One]

Forget the war paint, take him seriously folks.  I think he's going to have a big impact on Weevelton.

Edited November 21, 2018 by Mark One

[Mark One]

BLACK FRIDAY DEALS INT DRAGON

 

WORKERS LUNCH TIME SPECIAL

Two sandwiches, a bag of crisps, 2 pints & 3 minatures

 

THE SWIFT HALF MEAL

Snakebite, rum shot & a pickled egg

 

FAMILY MEAL FOR FORR

Egg, chips and burger, tizer, 2 pints, 4 minatures, Sherry trifle.

 

PRICES SLASHED!

Spoilt Rum- up to 45% off each bottle

Expired Port- 50% off (please shake bottle before use)

Barrelled beers- 40-80% reductions (damaged in transit - think, some rail disaster near a sewage plant)

Out of date TCP- packs of 10 (might still be usable or maybe make the ideal bleach alternative?)

 

 

 

[newbloodmoon]

Yumm sewer beer, sounds like buttwiper brand here in the states. The company with big damn horses, yup that one.

[newbloodmoon]

So I was just chillen near the round a bout up the way when a red lorrey and yellow lorrey nearly cllided as they both tried to avoid hitting May “Mad Myrtle” Johnstoun. Durinng the commotion a picked up a few things that fell out on to the road.

lets see here we have first draft copy of the jungle book, inside leaf says “follow the trials of a young boy and his stork friend Balloon.” Hmm neat.

okay what next... the tag says its from fragile Italy, oh sweet a leg lamp wearing fisnet stocking. Guess I can set that aside for Mark.

some WWII era tins of Spam, about 5. Those should be prize worthy. Ohh a box of water crackers, maybe a two for one deal.

Okay last but not least, a candle holder cut from a soup tin. It has a busty naked woman design cut out to light that design against the wall.

guess I will put these in the office.

[Mark One]

On 11/26/2018 at 3:51 PM, newbloodmoon said:

Yumm sewer beer, sounds like buttwiper brand here in the states. The company with big damn horses, yup that one.

Gawd lad, John.  Some lads from Wisconsin ordered 8 barrels last Friday.  I think they live on a farm.

[Mark One]

14 hours ago, newbloodmoon said:

So I was just chillen near the round a bout up the way when a red lorrey and yellow lorrey nearly cllided as they both tried to avoid hitting May “Mad Myrtle” Johnstoun. Durinng the commotion a picked up a few things that fell out on to the road.

lets see here we have first draft copy of the jungle book, inside leaf says “follow the trials of a young boy and his stork friend Balloon.” Hmm neat.

okay what next... the tag says its from fragile Italy, oh sweet a leg lamp wearing fisnet stocking. Guess I can set that aside for Mark.

some WWII era tins of Spam, about 5. Those should be prize worthy. Ohh a box of water crackers, maybe a two for one deal.

Okay last but not least, a candle holder cut from a soup tin. It has a busty naked woman design cut out to light that design against the wall.

guess I will put these in the office.

Well you did the right thing John, by not reporting the "accident" to the filth. Mad Mrytle was in on it see.  May's ex and former lover (both truck drivers) we're jousting to win her heart (heavily pickled with gin and pork scratchings)

 

Both bods are now in oxygen tents, fighting for thier life's in St Raymond's hospital.  Mad Myrtle on the other hand is now dating a reg-plate spotter who shared his flask of tea with her near to the crash site.  The new bod in her life is known locally as- Magic Eddie.  His claim to fame is that once upon a time he narrowly missed being hit by a train, just so he could jot down it's number in his scrap book.

 

Oh and the loot- I had already fixed a deal with both Boffo and Derek (truck drivers) 70% of their goods we're emptied, the night before not far from my back yard.  After all, it'll soon be Christmas, John.

[Mark One]

Well, I've just plugged in the Dragons Microwave Oven.  (Cheers, Boffo...oh and get well soon and if you ever do walk again - a pint of Sherry is waiting for you.)

Strange thing is, it came with a fire blanket stuffed inside of it.  Dunno how that works with this kind of oven but, it's the stains on the blankets fabric.  In the correct light you can see what appears to be the portrait of a crying child staring right back at you *spooky*

[newbloodmoon]

So has the annual guttersnipe hunt been kybobbed? I am asking for a friend of course. I’ll take a rum and coke of course.

[Mark One]

49 minutes ago, newbloodmoon said:

So has the annual guttersnipe hunt been kybobbed? I am asking for a friend of course. I’ll take a rum and coke of course.

Yeah, and so was the Wheelbarrow pub race.  Hardly anyone turned up for that one - flipping, fuppin Weevelton Trash; all too trollied or bone idle to take part.  

 

But in other news: Santa will be int Dragon again from the 24th till the 26th.  Gud-old Adolph Artichoke who normally puts on the red suit can't do it this year on account of being dead.  So his half brother-in-law Fritz Stooker will take on the role.  Bring the yung-uns in with Yee for all are welcome thru the doors of the Dragon, onnit.

[newbloodmoon]

3 hours ago, Mark One said:

Yeah, and so was the Wheelbarrow pub race.  Hardly anyone turned up for that one - flipping, fuppin Weevelton Trash; all too trollied or bone idle to take part.  

 

But in other news: Santa will be int Dragon again from the 24th till the 26th.  Gud-old Adolph Artichoke who normally puts on the red suit can't do it this year on account of being dead.  So his half brother-in-law Fritz Stooker will take on the role.  Bring the yung-uns in with Yee for all are welcome thru the doors of the Dragon, onnit.

Sounds like a hoot, have line up some wee drams of spirits for the tots this year. They just might notice Fritz Stookers lazy eye otherwise, unless Thelma Stooker his poor disheveled wife has found his eye patch without boob picture onit.

[Mark One]

I've nailed some miseltoe.to the cieling, bods both int bar area ant toilets.  Each bog seat is now graced with a lining of Holly and tinsel.  So even toilet time int dragon is always a themed venture onnit.