Mark One Posted October 14, 2017 Author #376 Share Posted October 14, 2017 (edited) 2 hours ago, acute said: Why do they call him Dark Derek? He doesn't look like a Derek. He changed his name to fit in more. Edited October 14, 2017 by Mr Mork 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted October 14, 2017 #377 Share Posted October 14, 2017 1 hour ago, Mr Mork said: He changed his name to fit in more. Unlike Albino Arthur poor bugga ain't got no choice 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 15, 2017 Author #378 Share Posted October 15, 2017 Eskimo Claude has just bin in and agreed to host ter-marrah nites hover 65 happy hour onnit. Bring a friend un get a free sherry!. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 15, 2017 #379 Share Posted October 15, 2017 55 minutes ago, Mr Mork said: Eskimo Claude has just bin in and agreed to host ter-marrah nites hover 65 happy hour onnit. Bring a friend un get a free sherry!. Eskimo Claude is a ****ing w****r! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 15, 2017 Author #380 Share Posted October 15, 2017 35 minutes ago, acute said: Eskimo Claude is a ****ing w****r! What? Why? Spill! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purrrpetrator Posted October 16, 2017 #381 Share Posted October 16, 2017 (edited) 13 hours ago, Mr Mork said: Eskimo Claude has just bin in and agreed to host ter-marrah nites hover 65 happy hour onnit. Bring a friend un get a free sherry!. my uh old friend is too sick to attend, as is her old friend, so neither could be here, for any portion of an hour, or minute, for that matter, and entreated, beseeched, implored me to ask, if it's good sherry, that you allow me to carry their free sherries home to them both! I said you'd happily do that for two longtime friends and customers... Edited October 16, 2017 by purrrpetrator 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 16, 2017 #382 Share Posted October 16, 2017 (edited) 12 hours ago, Mr Mork said: What? Why? Spill! He thinks he's an Eskimo just because he wears a 1980's snorkel jacket! What a tìt. Edited October 16, 2017 by acute 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 16, 2017 #383 Share Posted October 16, 2017 I'm fed up waiting for Dark Derek. I'm going to knock on his camper van. Set up a couple of pints of Guinness, barman ...... I'll be back with Derek flung over my shoulder in a coupla minutes. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 16, 2017 Author #384 Share Posted October 16, 2017 1 hour ago, purrrpetrator said: my uh old friend is too sick to attend, as is her old friend, so neither could be here, for any portion of an hour, or minute, for that matter, and entreated, beseeched, implored me to ask, if it's good sherry, that you allow me to carry their free sherries home to them both! I said you'd happily do that for two longtime friends and customers... Thah can tell yee are from the Norf youth. Look what ever you are bangin on aboot - its a case of CO-OP sherry. Wen its gone its gone and Eskimo Claude drinks his with a strraw onnit. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 16, 2017 Author #385 Share Posted October 16, 2017 Am startin to fink this is Life On Mars Onnit. Eskimo Claude was never a diver and by 1980 his age would be a century plus. And is also a bird!?? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 16, 2017 Author #386 Share Posted October 16, 2017 27 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: I'm fed up waiting for Dark Derek. I'm going to knock on his camper van. Set up a couple of pints of Guinness, barman ...... I'll be back with Derek flung over my shoulder in a coupla minutes. ME fink his hidin int gents luv. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 16, 2017 #387 Share Posted October 16, 2017 3 hours ago, Mr Mork said: Eskimo Claude was never a diver and by 1980 his age would be a century plus. We had Claude's 110th birthday here in the bar, way back before Big Mirk. Mark One was the gaffer then. He put a balloon up and called it a function room. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 16, 2017 #388 Share Posted October 16, 2017 3 hours ago, Mr Mork said: ME fink his hidin int gents luv. By "gents" Mork means the bucket in the kitchen. Anyway, I've just 'been' and Dark Derek's not in there. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted October 16, 2017 #389 Share Posted October 16, 2017 1 hour ago, acute said: By "gents" Mork means the bucket in the kitchen. Anyway, I've just 'been' and Dark Derek's not in there. Talking of Dark Derek did he ever find his trousers from the other night or did he go home to Manky Mandy trouserless 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 16, 2017 #390 Share Posted October 16, 2017 17 minutes ago, Matt221 said: Talking of Dark Derek did he ever find his trousers from the other night or did he go home to Manky Mandy trouserless I heard he went home with Gay Simon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 16, 2017 Author #391 Share Posted October 16, 2017 2 hours ago, acute said: By "gents" Mork means the bucket in the kitchen. Anyway, I've just 'been' and Dark Derek's not in there. So your the culprit ah yer!!! Av bin scratchin me bonce fah weeks wonderin where the stink come from. Try it agen lad and yull meet me crickit bat! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 16, 2017 Author #392 Share Posted October 16, 2017 29 minutes ago, acute said: I heard he went home with Gay Simon. Buh Simon always looks so glum??? If walking him hom would cheer him up I wud do it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 16, 2017 Author #393 Share Posted October 16, 2017 48 minutes ago, Matt221 said: Talking of Dark Derek did he ever find his trousers from the other night or did he go home to Manky Mandy trouserless Wen we find him yer can ask. Rock Steady Eddie swears blind that he saw Dez wit Scary Mary & Big Bertha. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 16, 2017 #394 Share Posted October 16, 2017 * loses all interest in pursuing Derek * 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 16, 2017 Author #395 Share Posted October 16, 2017 6 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: * loses all interest in pursuing Derek * Why not hang around after closing for some cracker un cheese with me luv. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted October 16, 2017 #396 Share Posted October 16, 2017 Gay simon he a ****ker who nicked the Christmas tree from outside the G&D that was left in stitu to save putting it up again this year he claimed it was taken by Aliens who arrived on a red pushbike the prick 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 16, 2017 #397 Share Posted October 16, 2017 41 minutes ago, Mr Mork said: Why not hang around after closing for some cracker un cheese with me luv. Is that your best offer? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 16, 2017 Author #398 Share Posted October 16, 2017 24 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: Is that your best offer? Nah buh this place isnt strictly the most private of digs tuh discuss such stuff onnit. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 16, 2017 #399 Share Posted October 16, 2017 * winks * * nudges * well aaaalrighty! I'll have a large Babycham in precipitation of that. Here's to 'lock-ups/ins' ...... Cheers, m'dears! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted October 16, 2017 Author #400 Share Posted October 16, 2017 2 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: * winks * * nudges * well aaaalrighty! I'll have a large Babycham in precipitation of that. Here's to 'lock-ups/ins' ...... Cheers, m'dears! *smiles* Certenly, me little tin of pineapples X. Once av served yah I`ll just nip upstairs and put on me old bow tie on. *blush* 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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