SHaYap Posted November 9, 2017 #551 Share Posted November 9, 2017 (edited) 34 minutes ago, acute said: Where's Mork and Weej? Health & Safety have just been in. Apparently, the snacks on the bar are 30% urine. Yup ... that's 43% under the National Recommended Requirement standards ... ~ Edited November 9, 2017 by third_eye page break 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 9, 2017 Author #552 Share Posted November 9, 2017 2 hours ago, acute said: Where's Mork and Weej? Health & Safety have just been in. Apparently, the snacks on the bar are 30% urine. So its you is it who doesn't wash their hands - YOU ANIMAL! And whilst were on the subject...wasnt it Old Granny Capstick who drank the stuff up until her 110th birthday!?! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 9, 2017 Author #553 Share Posted November 9, 2017 1 hour ago, third_eye said: Yup ... that's 43% under the National Recommended Requirement standards ... ~ Um, I better scrap the chicken in a basket idea for the bar and the gents then. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted November 10, 2017 #554 Share Posted November 10, 2017 18 hours ago, Mr Mork said: Um, I better scrap the chicken in a basket idea for the bar and the gents then. It might be a good idea to try some reverse psychology. Call it 'Chicken In A Basket Of Píss' and double the price. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted November 10, 2017 #555 Share Posted November 10, 2017 21 hours ago, acute said: Where's Mork and Weej? Health & Safety have just been in. Apparently, the snacks on the bar are 30% urine. So is the bitter 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted November 10, 2017 #556 Share Posted November 10, 2017 A pint of Soyer's Gastronomic Regenerator, if you please, Mr Mork. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 10, 2017 Author #557 Share Posted November 10, 2017 54 minutes ago, acute said: A pint of Soyer's Gastronomic Regenerator, if you please, Mr Mork. One pint of fresh home brew coming up Jim. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted November 10, 2017 #558 Share Posted November 10, 2017 2 hours ago, Mr Mork said: One pint of fresh home brew coming up Jim. You are a gentleman. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHaYap Posted November 10, 2017 #559 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Coooo ... its a naturally warm too ... ~ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted November 10, 2017 #560 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Not wanting to ask the bl**din' obvious BUT ...... why no mention of peanuts or chicken-in-a-basket in the Ladies' conveniences? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHaYap Posted November 10, 2017 #561 Share Posted November 10, 2017 The wimmen gets popcorn and fish fillets ... ~ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted November 10, 2017 #562 Share Posted November 10, 2017 ......................... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted November 10, 2017 #563 Share Posted November 10, 2017 6 hours ago, acute said: A pint of Soyer's Gastronomic Regenerator, if you please, Mr Mork. Is there supposed to be bits floating in this? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 10, 2017 Author #564 Share Posted November 10, 2017 3 hours ago, third_eye said: Coooo ... its a naturally warm too ... ~ Try sucking thru ter straw lad for a wicked brain rush. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 10, 2017 Author #565 Share Posted November 10, 2017 (edited) 3 hours ago, ouija ouija said: Not wanting to ask the bl**din' obvious BUT ...... why no mention of peanuts or chicken-in-a-basket in the Ladies' conveniences? We dunt get any women in here luv. BUT, the G & D is long over due a womens touch Ouija, so any suggestions will warmly be welcomed onnit. Edited November 10, 2017 by Mr Mork 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 10, 2017 Author #566 Share Posted November 10, 2017 27 minutes ago, acute said: Is there supposed to be bits floating in this? Only for my fave punters *wink* 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted November 10, 2017 #567 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Them bitso that float are the residue that lays in the bottom of the glass and are released with the methane 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 10, 2017 Author #568 Share Posted November 10, 2017 HIM-PORTANT NOTISS All lost property has now bin emptied int-ter skip. Its bin their fah donkeys years and thah space is needed. From next month the G & D will have a ladies rest room again. Why not spread tee word onnit and bring a partner? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHaYap Posted November 11, 2017 #569 Share Posted November 11, 2017 5 hours ago, ouija ouija said: ......................... okay ... caramel coated popcorn and authentic halibut fish fillet ... ~ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 11, 2017 Author #570 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Since no one won prize No.7 in the recent Bullseye compo, Hank Shank has kindly offered his services as a christmas gift instead. To win all you have to do is write a few wods of appreciation or mek a poem up about the G & D and just how much you luv it. Below is a hint as to what Hank specializes in. (Warning: A bit filthy and not to everyones taste) Spoiler 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAyMO Posted November 11, 2017 #571 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Will be be having a pool competition to win a turkey for Christmas this year? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHaYap Posted November 11, 2017 #572 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I thought you only win them turkeys on bowling tournaments ? ~ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAyMO Posted November 11, 2017 #573 Share Posted November 11, 2017 (edited) 9 minutes ago, third_eye said: I thought you only win them turkeys on bowling tournaments ? Where I am from - there may be 1 possibly 2 bowling alleys in the country - neither in a pub. We play pool or skittles for turkeys. I won three playing pool one Christmas - but I think they were trying to tell me something when the third one only had 1 leg. Edited November 11, 2017 by RAyMO 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted November 11, 2017 #574 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I'm sorry to bother you, Mork, I can see you're busy, but... Rita's dead! Apparently, she's been stiff as a board under a pile of coats since Tuesday. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 11, 2017 Author #575 Share Posted November 11, 2017 1 hour ago, RAyMO said: Will be be having a pool competition to win a turkey for Christmas this year? Thats a splendid idea young-un. (If yer clock the first page of this shenanigans you`ll find the G & Ds own unique take on pool) The mother-in-law has a meat raffle planned but I forbid her entry into the pub sees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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