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The George And The Dragon is now open.


Mark One

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42 minutes ago, acute said:

I'm sorry to bother you, Mork, I can see you're busy, but... Rita's dead!  Apparently, she's been stiff as a board under a pile of coats since Tuesday.

*rubs hands*

Oh dear...erm, how dreadful.  I`ll hav ter nip arowd an see old Wilf then and pass on me sadness onnit.  Although Rita never once stepped into the G & D and infact hated the place...I`m quite saure that she & relatives would have wanted a big drink up after the funeral in me pub.

EDIT

That other bullseye prize - the shire hoss can be hired owt to drag her funeral cart too.  HAPPY DAYS at the G & D :)

Edited by Mr Mork
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15 minutes ago, Mr Mork said:

*rubs hands*

Oh dear...erm, how dreadful.  I`ll hav ter nip arowd an see old Wilf then and pass on me sadness onnit.  Although Rita never once stepped into the G & D and infact hated the place...I`m quite saure that she & relatives would have wanted a big drink up after the funeral in me pub.

EDIT

That other bullseye prize - the shire hoss can be hired owt to drag her funeral cart too.  HAPPY DAYS at the G & D :)

Where shall I put her for now? Or, shall I just put the coats back over her.

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Just now, acute said:

Where shall I put her for now? Or, shall I just put the coats back over her.

That be fine lad, now pop yer clogs on and nip down to Die Hard Bernard, the funeral directors uppit.

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Hmmmm why is there dead bodies scattered everywhere Acute happens to be ... ???

~

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6 hours ago, Mr Mork said:

Since no one won prize No.7 in the recent Bullseye compo, Hank Shank has kindly offered his services as a christmas gift instead.  To win all you have to do is write a few wods of appreciation or mek a poem up about the G & D and just how much you luv it.

Below is a hint as to what Hank specializes in. (Warning: A bit filthy and not to everyones taste)

  Reveal hidden contents

7993509805_5f35dda001_b.jpg

 

Oi oi probley one for the lasses this un and knowing hank and his poles ......

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The brush is a bit of a scruff though ...

~

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Well news of the ladies erm...gents as seemed to work. 

White+Lion+Hulme.jpg

Without looking I could tell they were mother-in-laws by the sound of their steel toe-cap shoes.  That each ordered a milk stout and then sat down together in silent discussion about the toilet facilities...After 30 minutes of this female of the species surveillance I managed to scare them off with a photograph.

Now lets look at the 5 of um more closely.

Woh-man on the left: Single, seeking a man who she will then quickly crush into dire obedience.

Woh-man No.2: A pro at hen-pecking.

Woh-man No.3: Violent.

Woh-man No 4. An old-un who rules her house with a iron fist.

Woh-man No.5  Appearances can be deceptive onnit here.  Notice the small brick in her left hand.

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3 hours ago, Mr Mork said:

 

White+Lion+Hulme.jpg

 

They've just had a round in but the two on the right must be thirsty! Clear the empties, please!

Edited by Ozymandias
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9 minutes ago, Ozymandias said:

They've just had a round in but the two on the right must be thirsty! Clear the empties, please!

Are you having a giraffe? (laugh?)  Am not guh-ing anywhere near that one with tee brick son.

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I'd be very careful what you say within earshot of them 'ladies' ..... they're the Local Chapter of the Wimmin's Institute!

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The Local Chapter of Heaven's Angels!

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6 hours ago, Mr Mork said:

Well news of the ladies erm...gents as seemed to work. 

White+Lion+Hulme.jpg

Without looking I could tell they were mother-in-laws by the sound of their steel toe-cap shoes.  That each ordered a milk stout and then sat down together in silent discussion about the toilet facilities...After 30 minutes of this female of the species surveillance I managed to scare them off with a photograph.

Now lets look at the 5 of um more closely.

Woh-man on the left: Single, seeking a man who she will then quickly crush into dire obedience.

Woh-man No.2: A pro at hen-pecking.

Woh-man No.3: Violent.

Woh-man No 4. An old-un who rules her house with a iron fist.

Woh-man No.5  Appearances can be deceptive onnit here.  Notice the small brick in her left hand.

I thought the lady no 3 in particular is a little minxy looking and the other hand " old brickky" at the end the spitting image of an old flame of mine

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6 hours ago, Mr Mork said:

 

Woh-man No 4. An old-un who rules her house with a iron fist.

Thats not an iron fist, looks like a submachine gun.

You cleared them glasses yet?

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On 11/11/2017 at 1:32 PM, third_eye said:

Hmmmm why is there dead bodies scattered everywhere Acute happens to be ... ???

~

Are you implying acute might be a serial mass murdering hedgehog intent on eradicating woh-men of a mature age carrying bricks and submachine guns and with faces to match?

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1 hour ago, freetoroam said:

Are you implying acute might be a serial mass murdering hedgehog intent on eradicating woh-men of a mature age carrying bricks and submachine guns and with faces to match?

An highly remote assumption when you take into account Acute and his wandering trousers.  Those things turn up everywhere.

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3 minutes ago, Mr Mork said:

An highly remote assumption when you take into account Acute and his wandering trousers.  Those things turn up everywhere.

What is actually in those trousers? I reckon you should move this to the crime section.

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3 minutes ago, freetoroam said:

What is actually in those trousers? I reckon you should move this to the crime section.

No its when hes been hammering the black rum.  He then feels compelled to take them off and leave them on the stairs/roof etc.

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14 minutes ago, Mr Mork said:

No its when hes been hammering the black rum.  He then feels compelled to take them off and leave them on the stairs/roof etc.

I got to get my eyes tested....i read that as hammering the black nun.

I got to give it to acute for getting up on the roof...thats daredevil stuff.

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I heard the black nuns pummels back when hammered ....

~

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On ‎11‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 1:32 PM, third_eye said:

Hmmmm why is there dead bodies scattered everywhere Acute happens to be ... ???

Total coincidence.  :yes:

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10 hours ago, ouija ouija said:

I'd be very careful what you say within earshot of them 'ladies' ..... they're the Local Chapter of the Wimmin's Institute!

Are you using the term "ladies" loosely?

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6 hours ago, acute said:

Are you using the term "ladies" loosely?

Are we to expect more unexpected discoveries of corpses then ?

~

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2 hours ago, third_eye said:

Are we to expect more unexpected discoveries of corpses then ?

~

Who knows, maybe Mark One, Merk & Big Mirk may return * yikes* and then the true horror, the very curse of the G & D may finally manifest itself. * a petrified women screams in the back ground *

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I had a right odd couple pay for bed and breakfast last night.  Rate odd bods with weird and names an clobber tuh - Mr Steel un Mrs Saf-fire.  Kept askin me odd stuff abowt summit called `clothin anomalies` onnit.  Any hows, they havnt come owt of there room yet - not even for a jimmy riddle or some breaky.

.3c38dcba8c013edf162fe5859fd6accb--film-s

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