Mark One Posted February 1, 2018 Author #901 Share Posted February 1, 2018 4 hours ago, acute said: You never finished that Customer Care course did you. Ok, I'll do it me firkin self! Ooooh, there is a suggestion box of sorts - some note paper. Its hooked to the side of the cubical... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spud the mackem Posted February 3, 2018 #902 Share Posted February 3, 2018 On 31/01/2018 at 11:29 PM, Mark One said: A good couple of questions that I`m afraid will fox the average punter here. Anyway, I have a question for you. Whats yer poison? My poison is Glen Morange single malt 12 yr old whisky,followed by a John Smiths beer chaser, this beverage is for Only the brave. Best Wishes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted February 3, 2018 #903 Share Posted February 3, 2018 (edited) On 01/02/2018 at 8:48 PM, Mark One said: Ooooh, there is a suggestion box of sorts - some note paper. Its hooked to the side of the cubical... The paper is written on! It says "For hot sex, call Larry..." then a phone number. Edited February 3, 2018 by acute 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 3, 2018 Author #904 Share Posted February 3, 2018 The G & D will be closing at 6.30pm today. Ive got to nip down to the chicken shop on some business. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted February 3, 2018 #905 Share Posted February 3, 2018 2 hours ago, Mark One said: The G & D will be closing at 6.30pm today. Ive got to nip down to the chicken shop on some business. That's handy to know at 21mins past 7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 5, 2018 Author #906 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Bods, please keep your kids away from the pool construction site ont car park onnit. Its deeper than its muddy content looks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 6, 2018 Author #907 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Another day on the pool project is underway. Skilled labour has almost beaten the slurry issue. Ands heres a picture from the front road. A young whipper snapper taking time out. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted February 6, 2018 #908 Share Posted February 6, 2018 2 hours ago, Mark One said: Another day on the pool project is underway. Skilled labour has almost beaten the slurry issue. Ands heres a picture from the front road. A young whipper snapper taking time out. All them taxis waiting to take everyone home from the G&D after a dinner time session 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 6, 2018 Author #909 Share Posted February 6, 2018 3 hours ago, Matt221 said: All them taxis waiting to take everyone home from the G&D after a dinner time session Usually but on this occasion that convoy was old Ma Liverworts funeral for her husband, the last taxidermist in the village. He caught Q fever off of a dead moose - which had been freshly imported from Canada. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted February 7, 2018 #910 Share Posted February 7, 2018 13 hours ago, Mark One said: Usually but on this occasion that convoy was old Ma Liverworts funeral for her husband, the last taxidermist in the village. He caught Q fever off of a dead moose - which had been freshly imported from Canada. I didn't even know poor old bugga had gone wonder what will happen to his collection of cheese ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 7, 2018 Author #911 Share Posted February 7, 2018 1 hour ago, Matt221 said: I didn't even know poor old bugga had gone wonder what will happen to his collection of cheese ? Incinerated due to risk of passing on the fever. Surprised to learn you didnt hear about it. On that very morning as word got around, the streets were filled with crying kids. Mind you, Corn Beef Cob Kev was also in the dark after returning home from his brothers set-up in Surrey. He came into the Dragon with a lost look on his boat before he asked why all the brats were misty-eyed. All I could say was, "Hav`nt you heard? Old Engleburt Liverwort...is brown bread Kev. His old women has had a right pipe in the eye, my son! * * Weevelton is not a cockney town, nor is it situated somewhere near London. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted February 7, 2018 #912 Share Posted February 7, 2018 3 hours ago, Mark One said: Incinerated due to risk of passing on the fever. Surprised to learn you didnt hear about it. On that very morning as word got around, the streets were filled with crying kids. Mind you, Corn Beef Cob Kev was also in the dark after returning home from his brothers set-up in Surrey. He came into the Dragon with a lost look on his boat before he asked why all the brats were misty-eyed. All I could say was, "Hav`nt you heard? Old Engleburt Liverwort...is brown bread Kev. His old women has had a right pipe in the eye, my son! * * Weevelton is not a cockney town, nor is it situated somewhere near London. I'm glad I'm not alone in hearing about "Ole Livvie" as he liked to be called .... while I'm here did you know"Corn Beef Kev's" ex wife,Wobbbly Wilma"was Knockin off" Stinky Stan Stevenson's" son "Sid the Sidepipe" ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 10, 2018 Author #913 Share Posted February 10, 2018 On 2/7/2018 at 4:02 PM, Matt221 said: I'm glad I'm not alone in hearing about "Ole Livvie" as he liked to be called .... while I'm here did you know"Corn Beef Kev's" ex wife,Wobbbly Wilma"was Knockin off" Stinky Stan Stevenson's" son "Sid the Sidepipe" ? Yer mean Sid the Milk-it Milky. Theres more brats roaming the streets that resemble his boat. This village has defo been effected by milk-man syndrome! An if ah recall from me onion...Wobbly, Bobbly Wilma was always at her door, first thing in the morning waiting for her extra cream. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 11, 2018 Author #914 Share Posted February 11, 2018 The much promised improvement to the Dragons pub grub is almost upon us. Various smoked offerings will soon be chalked up on the wall outside. And to be quite frank John(s), its all thanks to you. All of those Park Drive ciggies and Hamlet cigars that have been dragged into ruin in my bar have done all the work for me. So just imagine this! Apart from a well deserved smoked chop in the Dragon, how about a smoked fish sandwich in your snap box for work. The much recognized aroma of the G&D in your fingers ( and your hair...your clothing...your breath...lungs...heart...)will sooth your boredom until knock-off time when you can rush back to my doors. Who loves yah baby! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 11, 2018 #915 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Genius! You're a real entruh-pren-oo-er, Mark! Double G+T, ice and lemon, please, while I peruse one of your very grubby menus. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 11, 2018 Author #916 Share Posted February 11, 2018 13 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: Genius! You're a real entruh-pren-oo-er, Mark! Double G+T, ice and lemon, please, while I peruse one of your very grubby menus. Your looking good today luv. Is that a new hairstyle? Here you go, one double philharmonic. Now whilst your here can I bend yer ear? See, I`m thinking about some carpet...for the floor in here you know. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 11, 2018 #917 Share Posted February 11, 2018 * pats head * No, not a new hairstyle, a new bobble hat! Cheers! I'm glad you were sensible enough to ask me about carpeting ...... choosing carpeting should always be left to the ladies. Now then, what sort of a budget did you have in mind? You'll regret buying cheap stuff in a place where there's such heavy traffic .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 11, 2018 Author #918 Share Posted February 11, 2018 1 hour ago, ouija ouija said: * pats head * No, not a new hairstyle, a new bobble hat! Cheers! I'm glad you were sensible enough to ask me about carpeting ...... choosing carpeting should always be left to the ladies. Now then, what sort of a budget did you have in mind? You'll regret buying cheap stuff in a place where there's such heavy traffic .......... Well, Ive not even shopped around yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 13, 2018 Author #919 Share Posted February 13, 2018 More good news, you humble bods. Old Garth has had to put his narrow boat up for sale - its his feet. So I`m tinkering with the idea of owning it myself. Short breaks away, a mobile Dragon...the possibilities are endless. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 14, 2018 Author #920 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Well yuv probably heard t-bad news. The horrid accident that befell our over 85s, darts team. Trust the coach to have a blow out on its way back to Weevelton. Ter weather wernt tuh gud, buckets of rain and sleet. Good old Wilf (91) managed to regain control mind and brought it safely to an halt in one of ol`Turners fields...and then it happened. God bless em! What are the chances of parking up over an unexploded WW2 bomb? I`m still in shock onnit. So many empty seats in me pub on-nim. So if yur can manage it, thee be a jar ont bar for collections. Dig deep me beloved bods. Light a candle at hom and think of the following babes in went before their time *sniffle* Wilfred Weatherwax, 98 yrs Bob Junk, 88yrs Jothra Eaglebeak, 87yrs Walter Meathook (jr), 89yrs (Big) Jim Vintage, 94yrs Tristram Trip, 93 yrs Vince Cruch, 91 yrs Ronnie Sheep, 95yrs 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted February 14, 2018 #921 Share Posted February 14, 2018 I've **** myself again. Could you say Tara to Doreen, and tell her I'll be there in 15 minutes. Thanks. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 15, 2018 Author #922 Share Posted February 15, 2018 On 2/14/2018 at 8:59 PM, acute said: I've **** myself again. Could you say Tara to Doreen, and tell her I'll be there in 15 minutes. Thanks. Your mother came in earlier looking for you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 15, 2018 Author #923 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Gentlemen, Gentlemen! Ive decided to nail the `wet paint sign` to the gents door. For it seems that someone who frequents that room is most adept at missing the intended areas. Oh, and if someone did miss-place a certain road cone - I found it in cubical number 2! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted February 16, 2018 #924 Share Posted February 16, 2018 13 hours ago, Mark One said: Your mother came in earlier looking for you. I know. I forgot my packed lunch. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted February 16, 2018 #925 Share Posted February 16, 2018 13 hours ago, Mark One said: Gentlemen, Gentlemen! Ive decided to nail the `wet paint sign` to the gents door. For it seems that someone who frequents that room is most adept at missing the intended areas. If there weren't three of each urinal, moving around all the time, we would know which one to pee in! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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