Abominable Snowman Posted February 16, 2018 #926 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Am I too late to join the party? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 16, 2018 #927 Share Posted February 16, 2018 1 hour ago, Old Sparky said: Am I too late to join the party? Of course not ...... we're not fussy who comes in here! Let me get you a drink; what do you fancy? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHaYap Posted February 16, 2018 #928 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Oh I dunno ... something Icy I'll bet .. ~ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 19, 2018 Author #929 Share Posted February 19, 2018 On 2/16/2018 at 0:09 PM, acute said: If there weren't three of each urinal, moving around all the time, we would know which one to pee in! Ahh, um...erm it seems that the renovations to the carpark - my new swimming pool - are causing some nasty shudders. http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/gifs/builder-sitting-on-toilet-hand-pulls-through-wall-13905888040.gif 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 21, 2018 Author #930 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Clumsy Coln, the shifty bricky from Cross has been in and after his third pint of best did tell me an interesting story about Kenco Kevins bird Cheryl. Would you believe it if I told you that she tried to hold-up Mr Crutches convenience store with a toy gun? There she was in her erm...oh I cant describe her clobber cos I`m a bloke and were useless at such things innit. Heres a picture. So as I was saying like, there she wah with her wicker shopping basket, waiting in the queue. When it was her turn she put her basket on the counter and produced a blue coloured revolver. She demanded that he give her his takings, 5 packets of Park Drive fags and some matches. Old Crutch was flabbergasted and calmly told her to put the toy away, leave the shop and visit my pub for a tonic. Eventually she complied and left the shop empty handed. It wasnt until later that Bert realized he was missing 1 loaf, 6 apples, a block of cheese and some firelighters. Kencos bird had had it away with em! Worse was to come though. When he later checked the stockroom and his back yard, he was missing two crates of Bullucks Best Beer. Crafty Kenco & his bird had pulled off the perfect crime - by making it all look like a bodged attempt. ... Now, talking of Bullucks Best. Ive got an offer on at the mo. Buy one and get one free chief. Theres not many left so Ive got to shift em. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 21, 2018 #931 Share Posted February 21, 2018 * pounds fists against main door * Hey!! I need a drink ..... it's only 11:17p.m. Open the bl**dy door!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 21, 2018 Author #932 Share Posted February 21, 2018 1 minute ago, ouija ouija said: * pounds fists against main door * Hey!! I need a drink ..... it's only 11:17p.m. Open the bl**dy door!!!! Come in, come in my dear. You sound like youve had a bad-un of a day. Maybe this will cheer you up - Whats your thoughts on a Ladies Night at the Dragon? Yer know, birds on the look out for a bit of a pull onnit. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 21, 2018 #933 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Pint of gin and tonic, please. (Is that on the house?) Not sure if your definition of Ladies' Night is quite the same as mine. I thought it just meant drinks were free for the female persuasion. Who have you got lined up for the birds to 'pull'? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 22, 2018 Author #934 Share Posted February 22, 2018 10 hours ago, ouija ouija said: Pint of gin and tonic, please. (Is that on the house?) Not sure if your definition of Ladies' Night is quite the same as mine. I thought it just meant drinks were free for the female persuasion. Who have you got lined up for the birds to 'pull'? Well seeing as you're the only regular bod-ette who frequents the G&D...its probably best to put that idea back on the shelf until the weather gets warmer. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 22, 2018 Author #935 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Ive heard on the grape vine that there is one of those so called - new & trendy - flat pubs on our manor. The old library on Coxbridge Lane has been sold to that old toe rag, Jimmy Lantern. Hes a right "rum-un" related to the family business that organized the local skivvies in WW2. Heres a picture of it from my copy of the Weevelton Crawler... Thats no drinking hole! And from what Ive heard, its no looker on the inside either. Its so rough in there that even the doors have little cat flaps, so the rats can come and go about their business. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 22, 2018 Author #936 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Micky the Brick ventured into its breach and took this picture. I swear that if it wasnt for his brick related head injury, I`d boot that turncoat off my own premises. Just look at this, all of those paying punters in that miserable looking drum! Incidentally, Mick bought a round of drinks in order to gain the permission to take this picture (with £15 worth of money borrowed from a certain shade wearing G&D regular) Clock the guy dead center with the Mikkel Becks. He looks out of place and more 1980s-ish to me...hmmm. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted February 22, 2018 #937 Share Posted February 22, 2018 1 hour ago, Mark One said: Micky the Brick ventured into its breach and took this picture. I swear that if it wasnt for his brick related head injury, I`d boot that turncoat off my own premises. Just look at this, all of those paying punters in that miserable looking drum! Incidentally, Mick bought a round of drinks in order to gain the permission to take this picture (with £15 worth of money borrowed from a certain shade wearing G&D regular) Clock the guy dead center with the Mikkel Becks. He looks out of place and more 1980s-ish to me...hmmm. Who the bloke in the glasses on the left in sure he still owes me 4 bob 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 22, 2018 #938 Share Posted February 22, 2018 2 hours ago, Mark One said: Ive heard on the grape vine that there is one of those so called - new & trendy - flat pubs on our manor. The old library on Coxbridge Lane has been sold to that old toe rag, Jimmy Lantern. Hes a right "rum-un" related to the family business that organized the local skivvies in WW2. Heres a picture of it from my copy of the Weevelton Crawler... Thats no drinking hole! And from what Ive heard, its no looker on the inside either. Its so rough in there that even the doors have little cat flaps, so the rats can come and go about their business. Little word of advice: it wouldn't harm to get a bit of a wriggle on with that 'swimming pool' you're constructing in the car park ......... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 22, 2018 Author #939 Share Posted February 22, 2018 1 hour ago, ouija ouija said: Little word of advice: it wouldn't harm to get a bit of a wriggle on with that 'swimming pool' you're constructing in the car park ......... More or less done lass. Was made easier when we unearthed an underground stream. Happy days! Now I`ll just have to up the pricing on me beer to cover the costs. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted February 23, 2018 #940 Share Posted February 23, 2018 21 hours ago, Mark One said: Ive heard on the grape vine that there is one of those so called - new & trendy - flat pubs on our manor. The old library on Coxbridge Lane has been sold to that old toe rag, Jimmy Lantern. Hes a right "rum-un" related to the family business that organized the local skivvies in WW2. Heres a picture of it from my copy of the Weevelton Crawler... Thats no drinking hole! And from what Ive heard, its no looker on the inside either. Its so rough in there that even the doors have little cat flaps, so the rats can come and go about their business. I'm not sure but I think jimmy must own a well know drinking establishment in up in the North East, its very similar apart from the rat flaps he just took the doors off the place altogether 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 23, 2018 #941 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Honestly, Mark, I don't think you have to worry about losing any of your clientele to the new pub, mainly because they have been barred from every other pub within a 50 mile radius ...... why should Lantern's gaff be any different? G & D clients are a very particular breed, shall we say? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted February 24, 2018 #942 Share Posted February 24, 2018 I'm not parking my Ford Anglia in a ****ing swimming pool! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 24, 2018 Author #943 Share Posted February 24, 2018 41 minutes ago, acute said: I'm not parking my Ford Anglia in a ****ing swimming pool! *Growls* Well thats 10 points to Acute then! Yer shunt be drive-in an slurpin anyway...you big jessie! In future try using Bakewall Tarts Taxi/horse & a cart service. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted February 24, 2018 #944 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Do British traditions like 'drinking under the influence' mean nothing to you? Anyway... I tried to park in the designated swimming pool area, but the engine cut out. I had to get Weej to push me to Chaz's ChopShop. (She's a robust woman!) It was all going well until her head fell off. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 24, 2018 #945 Share Posted February 24, 2018 You, sir, are a CAD and a BUFFOON!! * shakes fist * 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted February 24, 2018 Author #946 Share Posted February 24, 2018 3 hours ago, acute said: Do British traditions like 'drinking under the influence' mean nothing to you? Anyway... I tried to park in the designated swimming pool area, but the engine cut out. I had to get Weej to push me to Chaz's ChopShop. (She's a robust woman!) It was all going well until her head fell off. That motor of yours sure looks like its been through the wars or a hedge of two. Whats going on with your bonce today? Full moon or summit? And finally. Its a real shame about Ouijas bonce coming off. She was looking rather good apart from the Barefoot Movement which she clearly subscribes to. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted February 24, 2018 #947 Share Posted February 24, 2018 20 minutes ago, Mark One said: That motor of yours sure looks like its been through the wars or a hedge or two. Ford Anglias left the factory like that! It's why they stopped making them at Dagenham. 22 minutes ago, Mark One said: Whats going on with your bonce today? Full moon or summit? It's my 'driving wig' that stops my head touching the mouldy, corroded roof. 27 minutes ago, Mark One said: And finally. Its a real shame about Ouijas bonce coming off. She was looking rather good apart from the Barefoot Movement which she clearly subscribes to. Once a hippie..... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 24, 2018 #948 Share Posted February 24, 2018 (edited) 'driving wig' ! edit to say: I just know that this is one of those funny little phrases that will pop into my head at inopportune moments causing me to burst into inappropriate laughter! Edited February 24, 2018 by ouija ouija 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt221 Posted February 24, 2018 #949 Share Posted February 24, 2018 I got an old anglia I got it of rip off Ron 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 24, 2018 #950 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Wow! It looks as if it's in pretty good nick! Any chance of a spin in it later? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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