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The George And The Dragon is now open.


Mark One

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17 minutes ago, tcgram said:

*Wanders in*   I hate to be the bearer of bad news but someone has....shall we say....relieved themselves in the pool once again.   So since I cannot get in the pool, can I get a vodka coke?  

Sure chicken!  Would you like ice?

I`ll have to do a clean up then...now where is my big stick, the one with a nail sticking out of it.  Flippin once-a-week-in-a-tin bath locals!  I caught John-the-Frog the other day in his birthday suit, in that pool.  Well I say naked...he was still wearing his brown socks.

*shouts at the beer slurping bods*

And its not a bath for your friggin pets too!!!  Please, no more Hamsters or turtles...

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I could really go for a pie hole surprise and pints for the house.

scuttles off to pull the Corgey out of the shallow end of the pool.

Edited by newbloodmoon
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The pool has been emptied, cleaned, bleached and filled again...cor blimey, it dint half pen and ink.  Ive also had the Koala Bear tiling around the pool scrubbed clean and a warning sign has been erected in the middle of the pool which reads...

WARNING

Do not drink the water

This pool is not a bath

This pool is not a public convenience

Anyone caught will be taken to the stinging nettles!

(2 drink minimum required to use the pool)

Have a great day!

 

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The ongoing adventures of a Pub Landlord :D

Here is a picture of me with Benny the Butcher.  He became rather upset when I told him he was banned from the pool.  He didnt take it too well,  especially when I told him that his boat may put other punters off.

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So, later on he sent his father down to have words...I soon saw him off with a flea in his ear.

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And so, after a glass of sparkling shampoo I wondered what would be best for the safety and security of the Dragons outdoor pool.

Mort-de-Roger-Moore-Tele-7-jours-lui-ren

And it all came to me as I pondered on Benny the Butchers grotesque display of Hampstead Heaths.

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Well thats another fitting end to another action packed day at the G&D.

NEXT WEEK:  A small china man in a bowler hat kicks off in the carpark.

 

 

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2 drink minimum? Is that pints or bottles?

What if I can convince the girls from the knitting derby to provide knitted coasters, they would be washable and reusable saving money for the G&D in the long run mate. 

Oh yea I was  asked by my buddy Kip “iron forehead” McDoogle if ya needed anyone to swing by and hand out some Glasgow kisses to the unruly punters who misuse the pool.

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A man came into the G & D yesterday ,ordered his pint and looked around, then he said you lot on the right are Idiots ,and you on the left are Nancies, a voice on the left said I'm no Nancy so the guy said, move over to the right....that's when it all kicked off. 

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5 hours ago, newbloodmoon said:

2 drink minimum? Is that pints or bottles?

What if I can convince the girls from the knitting derby to provide knitted coasters, they would be washable and reusable saving money for the G&D in the long run mate. 

Oh yea I was  asked by my buddy Kip “iron forehead” McDoogle if ya needed anyone to swing by and hand out some Glasgow kisses to the unruly punters who misuse the pool.

Which ever costs more onnit for its best to enjoy a decent, branded drink before taking a dip old bean.

Thanks but no thanks John.  The local country folk with sheep will think I`m stabbin em in the back.

Good shout mate.  Yeh, tell him to come down forrah a day and I`ll put him on a trial.  Just hope hes 7ft tall like Benny the Butcher or he`ll find himself receiving the Butchers love bite.

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So an irishman and a scotsman walk into the G&D and the scotsman says “Oy mates, the drinks are on me”. The next days headlines read ‘Irish ventriloquist found bludgeoned to death in alley behind the G&D’.

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What a day!!   I'll have the strongest thing you've got; and make it a double.   

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14 hours ago, tcgram said:

What a day!!   I'll have the strongest thing you've got; and make it a double.   

Try one of these!  Its a new brew from Whitby.

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A fine British lager with a salty after taste - makes you thirsty for more see.  And so, you get trollied and I make money.  Everybody's happy.

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You treat me so well.....:lol:

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So...The Legend of Oily Johnnies has two colour TVs in its drum does it!  And computer tricks called CEEFAX that tells yer news about sport, slurpin and puts the world on yee lap like.

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The Legend of Oily Johnnies Pub and boarding house. along Cedars Crossing.  Some 4 miles away from my palace...bah humbug!

Well good luck with that then, tis what I say, I tell yer!  See, the average bod who frequents that hole are generally nose picking, carrot crunchin, coffin dodgers.  All they want is a pint of draught, a crossword and a good listen to the wireless.  There be no bairns nor young whipper-snappers in that neck of the woods - just a dying breed of over 55s who wish to moan about the rain or the price of vinegar!

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Johnny Pratt and his landlady.(stay are strictly just good friends)

So what does the Dragon have that beats their drum, you may ask?  The only public outdoor swimming pool in the village.  Authentic, rustic drool that soaks up all of yer hops.  A video game called Frog-man, erm or Frogger (who bloody cares).  That refurbished pool table and darts, skittles and pork pie lobbin.  Not to mention well furnished rooms to stay over like if yee are a tad too oiled.  So I`m not worried about the developments at Oilys.  Nah, stop listening and put yer hand in thee pocket - whats yer poison?

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I stick me bonce out a window when I want to know what the weather is like!

 

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Sorry I'm a bit late on a Saturday for dropping off rounds.. there was a terrible confusion when the bypass was suddenly shut down for an overhaul.

A shipment of ice cream, soda, fresh baked hand pies savory and sweet, as well as a round of poutine cups, fruit salads, cases of water, and the wood for some cooking out to the George and Dragon..

Since there is a bit of a backup here for getting in the logistics...please be patient while cries of "Hey Mark" come in.

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10 quid for the lot and a babysham on the house luv.

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A Tia Maria and a plateful of whatever scrumptious meal is on the menu today(minus the meat/animal derivatives). Ta :D

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12 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

A Tia Maria and a plateful of whatever scrumptious meal is on the menu today(minus the meat/animal derivatives). Ta :D

Hello gorgeous.  Not seen you in here for ages.  Right, thats one drink and a bowl of tomato soup with cob, which comes to 68p.  Brown or white cob luv?  And would you like to eat yer dinner outside by the pool?

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Everyone in Weevleton is lovin this cracking new tune.  It does indeed seem to resonate with them.

 

Edited by Mark One
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50 minutes ago, Mark One said:

Hello gorgeous.  Not seen you in here for ages.  Right, thats one drink and a bowl of tomato soup with cob, which comes to 68p.  Brown or white cob luv?  And would you like to eat yer dinner outside by the pool?

I'll stay inside, thanks. I don't want to risk any of that 'human' soup' getting splashed into this bowl of delicious tomato broth. 68p is very reasonable ...... have a drink on me, Mark. Oh, and I'd like a white cob, please. 

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1 hour ago, ouija ouija said:

A Tia Maria and a plateful of whatever scrumptious meal is on the menu today(minus the meat/animal derivatives). Ta :D

There is  wild boar and other animal offal soup. Its only 54p. For an extra 10p the chef will remove any small bones and teeth.

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Are you having a bowl of that then? Bet you don't get a choice of wholemeal or white cob for 54p.

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3 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

Are you having a bowl of that then? Bet you don't get a choice of wholemeal or white cob for 54p.

The cob comes free when you spend an extra £18.23 for a coffee. I love a bargain me. :)

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13 minutes ago, freetoroam said:

The cob comes free when you spend an extra £18.23 for a coffee. I love a bargain me. :)

Stop fleecing my customers!

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57 minutes ago, Mark One said:

Stop fleecing my customers!

Ouija is not a customer..she is ouija. 

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Some “mates” of mine got right tired of me stepping in their booze hall “the bloody boars head” and telling their two customers about the benefits of the george and dragon. Benefits you might ask? Well drinking here cures baldness, the best lasses the world has to offer wet their whistles inside these walls etc. So as a friendly ef you they bribed me with a case of 20 yr old Glen Livet, a keg of guiness, and a box of cuban cigars.

I have taken my one cigar fee, where do you want the rest Marksy.

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4 hours ago, newbloodmoon said:

Some “mates” of mine got right tired of me stepping in their booze hall “the bloody boars head” and telling their two customers about the benefits of the george and dragon. Benefits you might ask? Well drinking here cures baldness, the best lasses the world has to offer wet their whistles inside these walls etc. So as a friendly ef you they bribed me with a case of 20 yr old Glen Livet, a keg of guiness, and a box of cuban cigars.

I have taken my one cigar fee, where do you want the rest Marksy.

Gawd lad, John.  Come round tah back lad and place it on me dinner table.  Fancy a bit of cheese on toast?

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