newbloodmoon Posted June 5, 2018 #1376 Share Posted June 5, 2018 10 hours ago, Mark One said: Gawd lad, John. Come round tah back lad and place it on me dinner table. Fancy a bit of cheese on toast? Well if yer gonna treat me all fancy like toasted cheese bread sounds fantastic 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 5, 2018 Author #1377 Share Posted June 5, 2018 6 hours ago, newbloodmoon said: Well if yer gonna treat me all fancy like toasted cheese bread sounds fantastic *looks at watch* Yeh but that was 16 hours ago, John. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted June 6, 2018 #1378 Share Posted June 6, 2018 17 hours ago, Mark One said: *looks at watch* Yeh but that was 16 hours ago, John. Mutters to myself, sumten, sumten, grumble and cheesy poofs. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 6, 2018 Author #1379 Share Posted June 6, 2018 6 hours ago, newbloodmoon said: Mutters to myself, sumten, sumten, grumble and cheesy poofs. *points index finger to main doors* OUT! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 6, 2018 Author #1380 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Well thah crappy weffer has blighted me public outdoor pool so far. Dull clowd an cool air... If fings dunt change soon, I`ll av tah put peanuts int bowls again onnit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 7, 2018 Author #1381 Share Posted June 7, 2018 If anyone has seen Kidney Killnitts pet snake let us know in the Dragon and we`ll arrange for the church bell to ring. The said snake answers (apparently) to name - Mick. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 7, 2018 Author #1382 Share Posted June 7, 2018 The men have arrived! Ladies, please form an orderly queue. Neville (mid 30s) A gentle person who admires darts and loves to tackle the occasional jigsaw puzzle after hes sobered up and the shakes have gone. Likes smoking fags and drinkin ale. ^Wilf^ (mid 20s) Big fan of PacMan. Likes watching TV, eating anything that isnt nailed down and blow drying his hair. Good news girls cos Wilf is still available and according to his mother - hes a good catch! *yippee* Damien (mid 20s) Into motorbikes and hopes to own one oneday when he finally moves out of his mothers house. A deep thinker, Damien will amaze you with his flat earth shenanigans. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted June 8, 2018 #1383 Share Posted June 8, 2018 4 hours ago, Mark One said: The men have arrived! Ladies, please form an orderly queue. Neville (mid 30s) A gentle person who admires darts and loves to tackle the occasional jigsaw puzzle after hes sobered up and the shakes have gone. Likes smoking fags and drinkin ale. ^Wilf^ (mid 20s) Big fan of PacMan. Likes watching TV, eating anything that isnt nailed down and blow drying his hair. Good news girls cos Wilf is still available and according to his mother - hes a good catch! *yippee* Damien (mid 20s) Into motorbikes and hopes to own one oneday when he finally moves out of his mothers house. A deep thinker, Damien will amaze you with his flat earth shenanigans. Quite the collection of eligible young bachelors but alas I am already spoken for. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted June 8, 2018 #1384 Share Posted June 8, 2018 4 hours ago, Mark One said: The men have arrived! Ladies, please form an orderly queue. Neville (mid 30s) A gentle person who admires darts and loves to tackle the occasional jigsaw puzzle after hes sobered up and the shakes have gone. Likes smoking fags and drinkin ale. ^Wilf^ (mid 20s) Big fan of PacMan. Likes watching TV, eating anything that isnt nailed down and blow drying his hair. Good news girls cos Wilf is still available and according to his mother - hes a good catch! *yippee* Damien (mid 20s) Into motorbikes and hopes to own one oneday when he finally moves out of his mothers house. A deep thinker, Damien will amaze you with his flat earth shenanigans. I am not turned on with Nevilles knitted cardigan = his out. Wilfs smile (somewhere in there) looks like a permanent feature, that would get on my nerves after time. Damien should have a set of numbers under that photo. Sorry, is this it? I do not mean to sound fussy, but i have standards and desperate is not among them. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted June 8, 2018 #1385 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Oh I see my Dungeons and Dragons mates abandoned me this week, and to think I had Mountain Dew this time. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 8, 2018 Author #1386 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Cupids bow never seems to miss...or hit the right spot onnit...here in the Dragon. *burp* But opportunity knocks for the lucky Dolly who drinks in my watering hole. Norbert (mid 50s) Baby faced Norb here owns that Lizard & Tropical Fish shop along Cockerel Lane. Likes to unwind after a hards day graft int shop by singing the night away in the Dragon. Hes a domino fiend and also likes to discuss his opinions on Cambodia. Spence here is a big fan of Tractors. Now although hes a god fearing fellow, he sure does have a bit of a temper onnim. LEt him show you his tattoos. And last but by no means least. Its the one and only, Dark Derek! 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted June 8, 2018 #1387 Share Posted June 8, 2018 (edited) A pint of gin, please ...... no ice no lemon ...... and I'm not up for any conversation at the moment. Ye Gods!! what a morning ..... a week .... a couple of weeks. SHEESH! OMG! I haven't missed the Singles Night, have I?! I have, haven't I? Are any of them still here, in particular, Spence? I'm a big tractor fan myself , plus, I know he looks a bit grim in the pic but I have a feeling he's just misunderstood. (The rest of them, to a man, look like serial killers. Honestly, Mark, where do you find these people?) Edited June 8, 2018 by ouija ouija close brackets 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted June 8, 2018 #1388 Share Posted June 8, 2018 2 hours ago, Mark One said: Cupids bow never seems to miss...or hit the right spot onnit...here in the Dragon. *burp* But opportunity knocks for the lucky Dolly who drinks in my watering hole. Norbert (mid 50s) Baby faced Norb here owns that Lizard & Tropical Fish shop along Cockerel Lane. This is a no no, those eyebrows belong on his head, you can even see where they should slot in. Its like the map of the continents where you can see where they were once all joined together. 1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted June 8, 2018 #1389 Share Posted June 8, 2018 10 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: A pint of gin, please ...... no ice no lemon ...... and I'm not up for any conversation at the moment. Ye Gods!! what a morning ..... a week .... a couple of weeks. SHEESH! OMG! I haven't missed the Singles Night, have I?! I have, haven't I? Are any of them still here, in particular, Spence? I'm a big tractor fan myself , plus, I know he looks a bit grim in the pic but I have a feeling he's just misunderstood. (The rest of them, to a man, look like serial killers. Honestly, Mark, where do you find these people? I hear Spence thinks he is Jaws out if James Bond i have heard those are bars on the window and the walls are padded. I think the jury understood him very well. But, if you want me to put a word in for you, i will speak to his psychiatric nurse to see when he is free. (Could be 125 years without parole though) . 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted June 8, 2018 #1390 Share Posted June 8, 2018 (edited) Er, no thanks, you're okay, I'm not really looking for a penpal in a jail. Hey-ho, looks like I'll have to have another try at Dark Derek. Any suggestions as to how I can win his heart? He's a master at playing hard to get. Edited June 8, 2018 by ouija ouija to add: I need another drink! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted June 8, 2018 #1391 Share Posted June 8, 2018 2 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: Er, no thanks, you're okay, I'm not really looking for a penpal in a jail. Hey-ho, looks like I'll have to have another try at Dark Derek. Any suggestions as to how I can win his heart? He's a master at playing hard to get. To win Dark Dereks heart is easy, you have to give him yours. I hear he has his special 'room' where he will remove your heart and you get a free cup of tea and biscuits while waiting to go on the slab, sorry heart table, how nice is that? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted June 8, 2018 #1392 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Are you saying Derek and I will swap hearts? Eww! That doesn't sound very hygienic. Back to the drawing board. Perhaps Mark could be persuaded to have another Singles Night soon but this time we'll chose the men! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted June 8, 2018 #1393 Share Posted June 8, 2018 I think derek was my clown collage proffesor, I got kicked out for being just to weird. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 8, 2018 Author #1394 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Ladies, ladies, please! It was not the much promised MATE DATE night thing onnit. Just a bunch of my regulars who by chance were looking for a bit of friendship or...more. (Yeh, good luck with that one lads!) And when you think about it, you're very privileged to see free blokes like that. Deffo all been single ever since they entered their teens. No widowers in my drum for slap or tickle. See, any bloke who has outlived his missus is so "broken in" that they dare not stray out of fear of being haunted by her spirit or worse - the mother in laws specter! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 8, 2018 Author #1395 Share Posted June 8, 2018 4 hours ago, ouija ouija said: A pint of gin, please ...... no ice no lemon ...... and I'm not up for any conversation at the moment. Ye Gods!! what a morning ..... a week .... a couple of weeks. SHEESH! OMG! I haven't missed the Singles Night, have I?! I have, haven't I? Are any of them still here, in particular, Spence? I'm a big tractor fan myself , plus, I know he looks a bit grim in the pic but I have a feeling he's just misunderstood. (The rest of them, to a man, look like serial killers. Honestly, Mark, where do you find these people?) Youve got it doll! *leaves skid marks in the floor* Now, bend me ear like and tell me whats been bothering you. No one else will know, let it be our little secret onnit. After all, its a pub...not some gathering where folk share and discuss. The fellas dont like you anymore Wilfs going home to tell his mum about you! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 8, 2018 Author #1396 Share Posted June 8, 2018 4 hours ago, freetoroam said: This is a no no, those eyebrows belong on his head, you can even see where they should slot in. Its like the map of the continents where you can see where they were once all joined together. Youre too picky luv. Look he has a bath everyday (inside a bathroom as apposed to a tin bath by the fire) ooh, and hes got central heating and a microwave in his drum. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 8, 2018 Author #1397 Share Posted June 8, 2018 4 hours ago, freetoroam said: I hear Spence thinks he is Jaws out if James Bond i have heard those are bars on the window and the walls are padded. I think the jury understood him very well. But, if you want me to put a word in for you, i will speak to his psychiatric nurse to see when he is free. (Could be 125 years without parole though) . Spence had an accident when he was a nipper. His dad (doing time for something track-torr related) let a horse loose and it kicked Spence in the bonce. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted June 8, 2018 #1398 Share Posted June 8, 2018 2 hours ago, Mark One said: Youre too picky luv. Look he has a bath everyday (inside a bathroom as apposed to a tin bath by the fire) ooh, and hes got central heating and a microwave in his drum. Yeah and i have a bath every 3 months, whether i need one or not, so that does not impress me. 2 hours ago, Mark One said: Spence had an accident when he was a nipper. His dad (doing time for something track-torr related) let a horse loose and it kicked Spence in the bonce. Oh dear, I bought him a picture of a horse and a toy tractor to play with while he serves his 125 years (without parole) ...do you think i should still send them? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 8, 2018 Author #1399 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Whats all this moaning all about chicken? You, Ouija and TC must be interested as you keep coming back. So put yer glad rags on and treat tonight like ladies night in the Lantern. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 8, 2018 Author #1400 Share Posted June 8, 2018 7 hours ago, ouija ouija said: Er, no thanks, you're okay, I'm not really looking for a penpal in a jail. Hey-ho, looks like I'll have to have another try at Dark Derek. Any suggestions as to how I can win his heart? He's a master at playing hard to get. Our most darkest Del has agreed to a meet up with you luv on account of his last bird suddenly dropping dead like. Get you girl! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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