Mark One Posted June 19, 2018 Author #1451 Share Posted June 19, 2018 7 hours ago, Kittens Are Jerks said: Been there, done that, threw up on the T-shirt. But never in my drum, Kittens. Do that in here and you`ll pay the 50 pence clean up charge and then buy everyone a good drink! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted June 19, 2018 #1452 Share Posted June 19, 2018 6 minutes ago, Mark One said: But never in my drum, Kittens. Do that in here and you`ll pay the 50 pence clean up charge and then buy everyone a good drink! Vomit, mushy peas.. what's the difference? Heat it up, charge someone a pound for it, and we both win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 19, 2018 Author #1453 Share Posted June 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Kittens Are Jerks said: Vomit, mushy peas.. what's the difference? Heat it up, charge someone a pound for it, and we both win. Dunno wish to bother you squire but Old Shifty (with the shades) and John The Frog (with the birthday suit) seem put out by what you just suggested. Your a newbie here but you need to be careful cos you may end up stepping on other bods toes or their business enterprises. Please refer to post #1339 for a good butchers at my finger-food selection. Now then is that a drop of rum in your lemonade then? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted June 20, 2018 #1454 Share Posted June 20, 2018 I should have known, based on your attire, that this was a posh establishment. No regurgitated peas then, lest we further offend Old Shifty and John the Frog. Nothing colder than the disapproving stare of monarchists. I take it you`re drinking a medium dry martini, lemon peel. stirred, not shaken. I`ll have the same. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 20, 2018 Author #1455 Share Posted June 20, 2018 19 hours ago, Kittens Are Jerks said: I should have known, based on your attire, that this was a posh establishment. No regurgitated peas then, lest we further offend Old Shifty and John the Frog. Nothing colder than the disapproving stare of monarchists. I take it you`re drinking a medium dry martini, lemon peel. stirred, not shaken. I`ll have the same. Gawd lad un, will that be a double then? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted June 20, 2018 #1456 Share Posted June 20, 2018 Most definitely a double. I'll be over at John the Frog's table discussing Meghan Markle's choice of designer outfits. It's okay to discuss American divorcees here isn't it? Or are they still a touchy subject? Because the last time I did that, someone threw a scone at me and it hurt like hell. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 20, 2018 Author #1457 Share Posted June 20, 2018 40 minutes ago, Kittens Are Jerks said: Most definitely a double. I'll be over at John the Frog's table discussing Meghan Markle's choice of designer outfits. It's okay to discuss American divorcees here isn't it? Or are they still a touchy subject? Because the last time I did that, someone threw a scone at me and it hurt like hell. Chat away, dunno who you're on about though. Its 1983 here in the Dragon. Do you mean Mad Meg the wise women? Shes still around here somewhere in Weevleton. As for scones - there isnt much call for them in my drum. Your more likely to be wacked by one of my (tough) pork pies or (hard) sausage rolls. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted June 20, 2018 #1458 Share Posted June 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Mark One said: Chat away, dunno who you're on about though. Its 1983 here in the Dragon. Do you mean Mad Meg the wise women? Shes still around here somewhere in Weevleton. As for scones - there isnt much call for them in my drum. Your more likely to be wacked by one of my (tough) pork pies or (hard) sausage rolls. 1983? Mad Meg? It's all Old Shifty's doing isn't it? He must have put something in my martini because I can now see the future, and I'm telling you, one year from now a prince will be born. His name will be Harry and when he grows up, he will marry an African-American divorcee. The Queen's corgis will love her. Hey ouch! Who threw that Frisbee? Oh wait, it's a pork pie. Got a side of mash to go with it? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 21, 2018 Author #1459 Share Posted June 21, 2018 God-ahh side of mash! Are you havin a giraffe(laugh)? Which side of the planet are you from for over here your nosebag all comes on one plate! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 22, 2018 Author #1460 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Boffo the hard-up Clown has had to throw the towel. He wont be available for the kiddies whilst you bods watch the word-cup on me colour telly. The daft prat was attacked by an angry Badger and he fell into me pool. He`d had a skin full mind and some nippers were still around. Imagine their horror when his face paint started to come off. He was dragged out of the pool and taken to his tent where he tried desperately to re-paint his face. He staggered back into the Dragon, scared everyone summit cronic and then slumped against a wall. Sticky Mick took a photo... Spoiler 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted June 23, 2018 #1461 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Has Billy The Midget been in, Mark? He owes me 20p. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted June 23, 2018 #1462 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Any chance of a free bubbly pink drink for the birthday girl? *flutters eyelashes* 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 23, 2018 Author #1463 Share Posted June 23, 2018 19 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: Any chance of a free bubbly pink drink for the birthday girl? *flutters eyelashes* One glass of the pink stuff for the beautiful birthday girl. Many happy returns of the day, my dear. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 23, 2018 Author #1464 Share Posted June 23, 2018 6 hours ago, acute said: Has Billy The Midget been in, Mark? He owes me 20p. Yeh Bob, hes been bangin on about you and some missing fish-fingers. If I was you Id keep a low profile as hes sent his six bro`s out looking for yer. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted June 23, 2018 #1465 Share Posted June 23, 2018 15 minutes ago, Mark One said: Yeh Bob, hes been bangin on about you and some missing fish-fingers. If I was you Id keep a low profile as hes sent his six bro`s out looking for yer. I'm not worried -- They're all the same height. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted June 23, 2018 #1466 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Happy Birthday to Ouija Ouija! Here..... Let me buy you a- Oh, you've got one. That's good. I'll buy the next one. Anyway, I think I left my car running. Back in a bit. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted June 23, 2018 #1467 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Hey! Come back here ..... you can leave the money behind the bar. Oh, he's gone. Dang! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted June 23, 2018 #1468 Share Posted June 23, 2018 1 hour ago, Mark One said: Many happy returns of the day, my dear. You're looking especially suave this evening, Mark. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 23, 2018 Author #1469 Share Posted June 23, 2018 (edited) 5 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: You're looking especially suave this evening, Mark. *A gentle hand touches Ouijas* Would you care ter dance? EDIT: Onnit. Edited June 23, 2018 by Mark One 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted June 23, 2018 #1470 Share Posted June 23, 2018 When you say 'dance', I'm asooming you mean something soffisticated ....... like a waltz? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 23, 2018 Author #1471 Share Posted June 23, 2018 (edited) 4 minutes ago, ouija ouija said: When you say 'dance', I'm asooming you mean something soffisticated ....... like a waltz? If the waltz is indeed your preferred choice then so be it. But first my dear, let me clear us some space. Spoiler Shift your friggin ar@@ Camp Gary! And you too Kevin befah yer feel me fist in the side of your bonce. Edited June 23, 2018 by Mark One 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 23, 2018 Author #1472 Share Posted June 23, 2018 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted June 23, 2018 #1473 Share Posted June 23, 2018 One two three, One two three ....... etc. etc. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted June 24, 2018 Author #1474 Share Posted June 24, 2018 Toughie the Flagman is in the carpark stood by his england flag stand. For 50p he`ll give you a white tea towel on a stick with a thick red cross onnnit. Hes also offering good luck charms such as glittered matchboxes, shiny hats and lucky toads. For 5 quid (or a big drink), Toughie will feel yer bumps, read yer fortune and give yer a potion. Warning: his potions are around 150% proof and can melt glass. Now if your peckish you`ll find Battery Acid Barneys nosebag parked up near the outside bogs. Today hes doing a england burger (burger covered in mayo *yuk* with red sauce cross), thick bangers in brown sauce and yesterdays chips mashed up with a fried egg. Now if you fancy a nibble I suggest you get something now. Batteries been hitting the barley wine all morning and is now looking a tad trollied. Hes burnt his apron twice and dropped several lit fags into the baked beans and custard. And then there is the flies that seem to spring into full blown mental activity around midday. Now get yer backsides into me drum so we can sell-e-brate the match...with several drinks. Monkey Wrench Ern is organizing the ransacking of Weevleton highstreet - should we lose the game against the foreigners. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted June 24, 2018 #1475 Share Posted June 24, 2018 I missed Ouija's birthday?? I will buy you a drink when you get in here!! And Happy Belated Birthday!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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